Therapy

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Declaimer in chapter 1

Sorry it took so long had trouble getting into Dawn's head
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Buffy stopped by the grocery store on her way home, and was cooking dinner when Dawn finally came in from school.

"Hey Dawn, how was school today?" she asked.

"It was, " murmured Dawn " What smells so good?"

"I thought I might do a little cooking, ya know, kinda sick of DMP cuisine."

"So what are you cooking?" Dawn quizzed.

"We're gonna have pot roast, with veggies. I used mom's recipe."

" Cool, it smells as good as hers, hope it taste as good" Replied Dawn, " How did it go today with the therapist?"

"Good I think, I had like run on mouth, I yammered the whole time." Buffy stirred the pot on the stove.

"Oh great! Now she gonna think I'm a real loser!" snarked Dawn.

"I did not talk about you. I just tolr abr about me and all the dreck that is my life. " snapped Buffy.

Dawn sulked, "Sure whatever"

Buffy purred back," But tomorrow you get to see her all by yourself."


The next afternoon Dawn walked down the sidewalk toward Dr. Thalia's office with a slump shouldered, drag footed gait. She paused outside the door and drew herself up, pulled her shoulders back tilted her head off to the side, almost a junior version of Spike's swagger. She shoved the door open and marched in slamming the door behind herself.

"Hello you must be Dawn," said Jule.

"Yeah I'm here to see the shrink" Dawn snarled.

" There isn't one here" replied Jule," But I am Dr. Thalia a therapist" as she offered hand to be shaken.

Dawn grudgingly shook hands.

" I am sure that gets harder and harder to carry around" Jule said.

" Huh, What are you talking about?" snapped the irritated teen.

"Why that monstrous chip on your shoulder! Would you like to come in the office and set it down for a short while?" Jule walked ahead and into her office.

Dawn stomped after her, entered the office and flung herself into the overstuffed chair nearest the door.

" Well, aren't you going to start with the 20 questions? " snapped Dawn.

"No, I think you have the questions, and today I'll try to answer them for you." Offered Jule.

" Oh that's just great, I can tell Buffy has filled you in on what a hopeless, lost and confused twit that she thinks I am."

" Actually, No. She did tell me how you came to be her sister, and she is very worried that it is her fault that you are in pain." Answered Jule.

"Oh great. There goes Saint Buffy the Martyr. She 's so perfect; she's the 'Chosen One'. She has all the scoobies and Spike adores her. But Dawn is just an inconvenience"

Jule looked at Dawn and asked, "Do you really feel that way?"

"Why should I answer you, you'll just tell her what a pathetic jerk I am."

" Listen to me, I am bound by a code of ethics. I can not divulge anything a client tell me in session, with one exception, That is If I truly believe they are a danger to themselves or others. Even then I cannot tell what is said to me. I am however bound by law to warn either the person in danger and/or the authorities that may stop the actions. Do you understand that?"

"So I can tell you anything and you won't tell Buffy?" quizzed Dawn.

"Anything but a REAL threat to yourself or someone else" Jule responded.

" Cool"

" So do you really feel like you are just an inconvenience?"

" Yeah, I mean I was Created, not born, by a bunch of crazy monks from a glob of green swirly mystical energy that was the key to a dimensional portal to hell only 18 months ago. I mean they gave everybody memories of my supposed life up to that time. But I don't have anyone in my life that loves me or even care what I want or feel or anything except for Spike."

"Who is Spike?" queried Jule.

"He's my only friend, but he's in love with Buffy. I mean Buffy has all these friends from school, and she has like ex-boyfriends, and the Scoobies. She knows that Mom loved her cause she really is her daughter, I don't think she every really loved me, sometimes I think she died so she didn't have to take care of me." sighed Dawn, blinking back tears.

"Dawn, you honestly think that your Mom willed herself dead to avoid you?"

" No I guess that kind of dumb huh? Just dumb Dawn "

" Dawn you are not Dumb, You just have had a lot to handle and have been handling it with very little or no help at all. That's why you here with me now. Your sister realizes you both need someone you can talk to who can ask you the right questions and maybe you'll find the answers you need. You can say anything to me, and because I am not family or a friend you don't have to hide your feelings, what ever you say I won't be offended, get angry, or withdraw from you. Do you understand?"

"You mean I can really say anything?"

"Well yes, but please don't use our time as a practice ground for cursing or vulgarity. I am not say you can be vulgar or curse, but just don't go overbroad, communication is what we really need here."Jule sighed, " So who is Spike?"

"Oh, He's the one person who doesn't treat me like some kind of lame brain, or fragile THING. He is a vampire but see he's got this microchip in his head that doesn't let him hurt humans, if he does he gets these really killer headaches. He said it's like an explosion or something inside his brain."

" I see,... he treats you differently than anyone else? How?"
" Well, I mean I'm 15 years old, jeez, but Buffy thinks I need someone to BABYSIT me all the time. All the Scoobies treat me like I'm a little kid; Anya actually patted me on the head and talked to me like I was a 3 year old at Buffy's party. Willow still calls me 'Dawnie' and uses this super sweet daycare teacher kind of voice. Xander. Oh god Xander, he chucks me under the chin and gives me nuggies like I'm a 9 yr old tomboy or something, He even calls me 'Dawnmiester' Ugh! Tara is Ok most of the time, but she get real embarrassed or changes the subject if I even try to talk about anything like boys, or dating, and especially Researching, patrolling or witchcraft."

"Researching and patrolling? What is that?"

" That 's looking up info for Buffy to use and going through the cemeteries to kill vamps, and demons, and stuff."

"What do you think is normal for a girl your age?"

" I --- I mean I know what Buffy does, she's the bloody slayer, She was called to fight Evil, and that means she has to go out at night and kill all these big old ooglie booglie things, and now that Giles has moved back to England, he was her watcher, she sometimes needs help in finding out how to kill the demons. I do know about sex from school and I do have my period, jeez, it would be great if I could talk to somebody about it. I mean I'd like to start going out on dates or group things you know."

" Is there someone in particular?"

"No, is just, I wish, OH shit NO I don't 'WISH' I would like to be able to talk to someone about their life too."

"Dawn why the adverse reaction to the I WISH statement?"

"Halfrek! I got called out of class on Buffy's birthday to talk with a 'guidance councilor' who turned out to be a vengeance demon that cursed us all to be lock forever in the house together when I said That I wished people would not leave."

"Dawn do you have any friends your own age?"

"Just Janice, but I really hang out at her house just to be around her family, she kind of ----- She talked me into going out on Halloween to hang out with some High School guys that turned out to be Vampires. It's like all she is into are boys, clothes, and make-up."

"Have you told Buffy that you want to talk to her, or have you tried?"

"I've tried but she always seems to shut down or turn me off, then I get mad or run off to cry"

"Why do you say that Spike treats you differently?"

" Well he listens to me, and he talks to me about his life and stuff, he's not all judgey and stiff. He stayed with me all summer while Buffy was away."

"Buffy was away, where was she?"

Dawn face crumpled up, as she sighed deeply, " She was dead, she jumped off the tower to close the Portal that Glory had opened. Spike promised Buffy right before the battle that he would protect me 'till the end of the world' I mean, Yeah he's in love witffy,ffy, and she says he did it to impress her, but come on, she was dead and he still stay around. He really is my friend too ya know!?"

"Yes I would say he is your friend. What sort of things did he tell you about his life?"

" Oh we talked about when he was William, You know before he became a vampire, and stuff he did after he was turned. And crazy people he had met, and how things use to be. He's been around since 1850 something. Talking with him really helps my history grades. And He knows a bunch of stuffy old literature and stuff. I can just curl up and cry on him if I need to, and he doesn't get all 'it's ok, it's ok, hush don't cry. He just hugs me and let's me get him all wet. For the first month or so after Buffy died he would sleep on the floor in my room, 'cause I'd have nightmares about Glory and Doc, and I let him stay at the house with me during the day, 'cause I was afraid he'd go sunbathing or something."

"So you're saying you grieved together?"

"Yes"

"Did you share your grief with the others?"

"Are you kidding, them were all in Egypt"

"Egypt?"

"You know the land of de-nial"

Ha-ha "oh I see, Do you realize that you act and talk like a teenager about 60% of the time but that the other 40% you are very mature and wise?"


"Really, Why do you think that is?" Dawn sat stunned.

"Partially because you are physically a teenager, and because you have had to 'hit the ground running' as the embodiment of an ancient energy force"

"I wish Buffy would see me that way. I mean since Willow, Tara, Anya and Xander brought her back, she hasn't been there. Her body is here but she's just gone. She's even run Spike off. He doesn't evome ome over anymore, I can't blame him. Buffy's being such a Bitch to him, I wouldn't stick around either. But then she's gotten on the 'NO YOU WILL NOT GO TO HIS CRYPT ' jag so I can't even go see him. The only time I get to see him is at the 'Magic Box' and then everyone is being so Grr with each other."

" Dawn, I hate to say this but our time is almost up, what I would like for you to do over the next day or so is to think about what you want to say to Buffy. Practicein yin your head, or in the bathroom by yourself. Do not let yourself get angry, or overly emotional, then when you come for your session together I want you to talk to her. One other thing I want you to do is use positive statement 'I don't like..., It makes me feel...' when you deal with the people in your life. Do you think you can do that?"

"Yeah, I have one more question though. Buffy said you're some kind of Empath or ESP thingy. What did you learn about me when I shook your hand?"

" I learned that you are a deeply caring, very intelligent being, while you are not a simple15 year old, you still need to grow into who you are."

" Oh. Well see ya later "chirped Dawn as she headed out the door and down the block to the Magic Box.

Willow and Xander sat at the research table, Anya was behind the register and Spike was tucked into the metal stair case leading to the upper level, much like a cat curls up to nap in the most out of the way but still defendable spot it can find.

Dawn squealed and rushed to Spike to deliver a sloppy kiss and a big hug.

Xander grouched, "Hey Dawnmeister. Where's my hug?"

Dawn answered, "Ask Anya for one. I like to give hugs to my friends who need and deserve 'em, and who listen when I talk."

Xander stood sputtering "But...But.. Dawn I am your friend." He ended in a whine.

"Maybe you are, but you don't listen to me. I've told you I hate it when you're mean to Spike. You still snark at him and hit on him when you know he can't hit you back. Anya loves to talk about gettin' physical with you so ask her for a hug."


Xander sat gasping and sputtering like a landed fish.

Dawn turned to Spioldiolding one hand as she spoke. "Spike you are my very best friend. I adore the way you listen when I talk, the way you let me be me. You don't treat me like a little kid or an obligation. You let me cry all over you and you don't mind getting wet." She stopped and giggled.

"My new therapist told me to start speaking up in 'positive statements' and it's feels so good"

Spike hugged and purred, "Always heard salt water was good for the complexion, sweet bit. Don't mind being your soddin' soggy pillow every now and again."

Willow fluttered over whining, "But Dawnie.."

"Willow my name is Dawn. I do not like kiddie names, or the way you sound when you whine at me like that."

Anya piped in, "Sounds like a certain 'little girl' is grumpy"

"Anya stop patronizing me. I am 15 years old not 3. Your failure to see that is starting to piss me off. Maybe you are getting senile after all you are over 1000 years old. Would you want me to treat you like a senior citizen?"

"Hey Dawn no need to be all rude to Anya," snapped Xander.

Spike stepped forward and straightened to his full height and took his 'I'm the Big Bad' stance. He drawled in a soft low voice that carried through the whole shop, "Dawn is being assertive, your bint is the rude one here. And you will all treat her with respect."

His eyes flashed gold as he stared each one down. Just as the silence began to get uncomfortable Buffy hustled in from the training room, and came to a sudden stop sensing the tension in the room, "What's wrong?" She asked.

"Dawn is growin' up and standin' up for herself 's all pet." Spike answered.

"Thank goodness, I thought it was another apocalypse. Ready to head home Dawn?" She asked, as she turned and headed out the door.

Dawn began to follow her then stopped, turned back, ran across the blonde and hugged him again, " Love ya' Spike see you later. TTFN scoobies."