You Mean The World To Me

Chapter Three


Giles sat and watched his spiritual child as she watched TV. She'd been doing that all day. She had refused to go home on account that Spike could show up. He had gently reminded her that Spike was a vampire and therefore incapable of going out in the sunlight. She had promptly reminded him that it hadn't stopped him before. So, he had collected the belongings she needed and brought them to her. She had decided that since he was her High Priest, he was the only one that could help her. Her family wouldn't understand. They loved Spike and depended on Spike. They had commented how good Spike was for her. She had blanched at the thought as she stared at her bite marks in the mirror. Yet, Giles wondered why she felt the need to protect his crime from her family if she was indeed truly angry with him. The more he thought about it however, the more incensed he became with Spike.

He hadn't trusted Spike's intentions in the beginning, thinking he only wanted to find a way to destroy the powerful supergirl. Spike had argued with him time and again about his intentions with Buffy. He firmly vowed to her spiritual leader that his intentions with her was to help her, stand by her and protect her. After some time, Giles had come to grudgingly trust and accept the vampire. Aside from battling evil together, they had become fast friends. Everything Giles had heard about Spike was horrid indeed. He was a slayer of slayers, a killing machine; one that traveled and tortured the world with his beloved Drusilla. Until Dru left him.

Spike had made it his business to insinuate himself firmly in her life. Buffy had been hesitant at first, parts of her reaching to normalcy even though she knew she could never truly have that. Spike, for his part, tried to make it as normal as he could for her. Took her to movies, bars, clubs. Helped her study while she was in college, gave her advice and acted like her supreme confidante. Giles had noted that there was a period where Buffy had immersed herself in dating. She had wanted to take part of the normalcy of communicating with humans who held no special power. She had shut Spike out for a spell and he'd been devastated by it. He'd whined to Giles, of all people. When she came back around, Spike had acted as though nothing had happened and welcomed her back with open arms. As long as he had his Buffy, he was content to play whatever part she needed him to play.

Giles couldn't help but not be completely surprised by the turn of events. Intuitively, Giles knew that one day Spike would lose his control and patience where Buffy was concerned. He thought that was why he had so many qualms about their relationship. Now, his fears hade toe to pass and Giles felt guilt. Guilt for not protecting her more strongly against him. Guilt for demanding Spike stay away from her. Guilt for not telling her of his intuitive feelings. If he'd told her, Buffy could have somehow protected herself against such an outright and blatant intrusion.

Suddenly, she jumped as if startled and looked towards the window. She was on alert for something.

"What is it, dear?" Giles asked.

"Spike. He's near. He's...I can feel himing.ing. Oh god, is this part of the claim?"

"I'm afraid so."

"My neck, it's throbbing. I want .tie.tie me up Giles."

His eyes widened "w!" !" He stood, facing her.

"Tie me up. I don't want to go to him. Please, Giles!"

"I'm not going to tie you up, Buffy. I will go to him, talk to him."

She pleaded with him with her eyes. He shook his head, firm in his decision.

"Hurry, Giles. Please? Tell him to stop calling to me or whatever he's doing with the claim."

"Yes, you need not worry about that."

"Tell him to leave me alone. To leave town. To never come back."

Giles paused. "Anything else?"

"Tell him I hate him."

Giles nodded and strode out into the night. He didn't have to go very far, just around to the back of the house and he came face to face with a very frightened looking Spike.

"She hates you, you know," Giles told him.

Spike winced, "I figured she would. She tell you to tell me that?"

"She did. She wants me to find a way to stop the claim and short of killing you, I can't think of any way to do that."

"That would be the only way to do it. But, I'm not going to die. Not while she's still alive."

"I should stake you for what you did. You had no right."

"Don't you think I know that? I know. It shred me to hear her tell me she ran away, essentially, from me."

"She didn't run away from just you, Spike. She left to find herself."

"Why'd she bloody have to go and do that for? I could have told her what and who she is!"

"She had to find it out for herself. She wants a normal life, Spike. You're not part of the normalcy. You're her vampire best friend that she relies on. She wanted to rely on something else--herself."

"It was no excuse to do what I did." Spike admitted softly.

"No, it wasn't. It was a form of rape. You've changed everything. Ruined every hope she had to lead a normal life. What are your plans now, for her?"

"To get her to forgive me. Grovel if I have to. Anything so that she'll...she'll--"

"Be yours just as the claim intended?"

"I won't deny it's what I want. I don't like the way I went about it, but if she had ever given me an inkling of a sign...I would have done it anyway."

"She wants you to leave town. She wants you out of her life completely."

"I know she does, Rupert. And it's not going to happen. She's my mate now and I stay with my mate."

"And Dru? Was she not your mate?"

Spike looked away and then shook his head. "She wasn't. I never claimed her. She never claimed me."

"Why ever not?"

"Her heart always belonged to her beloved 'daddy'. I always knew...always knew I was meant for something greater."

"Buffy," Giles said softly.

"Yes, Buffy."

"I'm not going to help you. You should know that. I cannot betray her like that. She has entrusted me to help her. And seeing as how she is my responsibility--"

"You make her sound like a sodding rental car, Rupert! Do you help her because it's your responsibility or because you care about her?"

Giles' eyes flashed. Anger simmered just below the surface. He did not want to show the vampire how truly y hey he was. It would be of no use Buffy to let his defenses down. "You know I care about her. You know I'd do anything for her."

"Right. Because you love her too. You can hide it behind your stuffy British ways and long speeches about her being your spiritual child, but the fact remains Rupert that you love her and are too afraid to let yourself feel it. Which, I'm not going to lie to you, it works well in my favor. Because you see, she's mine now."

Giles was seething. "She won't forgive you for your callousness towards this. She'll hold it against you."

"What I feel about what I did is not your concern. It's between her and me. What I am telling you is out of sheer jealousy. She's mine now and you'd do best to remember yourself."

Giles glided forward and glared at the insolent vampire. "And if something were to happen? Would you kill me?"

Spike's eyes glowed brightly he bared his fangs. He growled at the man. "You would be loathe to try it."

"You couldn't kill me. If you killed me, you would lose her forever and you know it."

Spike snarled at him.

"Leave him alone."

Both men jumped at her voice. Spike moved around Giles and started towards his mate.

She held up her hands. "Don't come near me."

"Luv--"

"I'm not your 'luv' or your Buffy or anything else anymore."

"You're my mate now."

She glared at him. "In blood only. Not in my heart. That's where it counts doesn't it?" She started to walk away.

"Wait," Spike shouted and started after her. She broke into a run and sprinted to houshouse. Giles caught Spike's arm.

"Leave her alone," Giles ground out. "If you love her the way you claim to, then you will abide by her wishes and leave her alone."

Spike glared at the man. "This isn't over."

"No, you're right Spike. It's far from bloody over." And with that, Giles strode back in the house to comfort the trembling woman in his house.

Chapter Four

FLASHBACK

Spike watched intently as the girl with power staked a vampire without breaking a sweat. She was poetry in motion. What caught his attention most as he watched her work was not the agility and power she held in that tiny body. It was the look on her face. She might as well have been performing the most mundane task on the planet. She was stone-faced and concentrated, unmoved.

Brushing the dust from herself, she moved from behind the crypt and slammed into Spike.
"Hello, luv."

She took a step back and held up her stake. Whistler moved from the shadows and she sighed with relief.

"I was hoping not to be late tonight. My mother worries." She told the human-demon.

Whistler grinned, "don't worry kid. I've got something here that will help you not be late any longer."

She sighed, "oh really? What's that?"

Whistler pointed to Spike. "Name's Spike. He's a vampire."

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "A vampire is going to help me stake his own kind?"

"You see, kid, he's a special vampire."

"Special?"

"He's got a soul. That's how he's special," Whistler explained.

Her eyes widened. "A soul? How did that happen?"

"Long story, pet. I'll be happy to relate it to you one day." Spike finally spoke up.

She folded her arms across her chest. "And how exactly are you going to help me?"

"I'm going to protect you," Spike said proudly. Gods, she was beautiful. Sure, she was seventeen, but he could see hints of the woman she was about to become.

"Protect me? You don't even know me."

"I will," Spike promised. And he meant it.wantwanted to know everything and teach her everything.

She looked at Whistler. "Why?"

"You need it. A Slayer has a Watcher, you have your own personal vampire with a soul." Whistler explained.

She eyed Spike but spoke to Whistler. "What does he get out of this? How long is going to be helping me? Is there some big evil coming I need to be aware of?"

Spike was irritated that she wouldn't ask him these things. "I don't get anything out of this--as far as I know. Except to put my bloody soul to good use. Perhaps one day secure a spot for myself in Heaven."

"So then, you do get something out of it. I'm your ticket to Heaven."

"You're more than that, luv."

"And what is that?"

He didn't know for sure yet. Just knew that she meant more to him in the few minutes he'd laid eyes on her than anything before. What he didn't know yet, was that she'd mean more to him than anything after too.

"I'm going to be helping you for as long as..."

She smirked, "for as long as I'm alive."

"Yeah, that. And no, there is no big evil coming. Cept, I'll know when it is and I'll be right here, fighting the good fight with you by your side."

She looked at Whistler. "This is weird. He's weird."

Spike threw his hands up in the air. "Is there some particular reason why you won't speak to me when you're talking about me?" He was exasperated.

She looked at him, "because I don't know you! I don't even know if I like you very much!"

"You're never going to know me if you don't talk to me!"

"Stop shouting at me!"

"Stop being so bloody frustrating!"

"I would if you'd stop shouting at me!"

"I just started--" Spike stopped and shook his head. She was bloody frustrating! He looked at her. Her eyes flashing, her whole body challenging him. He suppressed a groan. He was turned on.

Whistler chuckled. "You two are going to be just fine."

END FLASHBACK

Spike sighed as he took another shot of whiskey. This isn't what he had planned--ever. He had hoped, wished, dreamed one day that Buffy would come to him and ask to be his mate. He never intended on juakinaking it.

"Is it a woman?" Willie asked.

"When isn't it a woman?" Spike muttered harshly.

"That Buffy chick, right?"

Spike glared at him, "not that it's any of your business, but, yes."

"Did she come back?"

Spike was exasperated now, "yes. Yes, she came back. And, no, it's not her fault what I did."

"What'd you do?"

"Get me a tequila Willie and leave me alone. I'm not feeling very friendly tonight."

"Big surprise," Willie muttered and sauntered away leaving Spike to glare at him.

God, how had me managed to make such a mess of this? He had let his anger and hurt get in the way of his clear thinking. When she told him that she'd essentially used him and left him in such a way, it had tore him apart inside. She might as well have driven a stake through his heart and be done with it. His time away from her had been hell as it was. He'd missed her terribly and had been angry with her that she'd never even bothered to let her family know exactly where she was. A P.O. Box was the only way to reach her. He had thought that was a tad risky until her mother informed him that Giles was the only one who had a phone number of where she was. He thought her cruel and heartless.

But, he still loved her. Then when she admitted that everyone had known where she was, it was like a knife to his heart. They had ALL lied to him. Kept her from him. They had ALL used him. It tore him apart inside. Because of her, he had a family for once in his undead life and she'd seen to it to destroy that for him. She wanted normalcy, she said. How could a witch with superhuman strength be considered normal?

He'd accepted his inability to be normal a long time ago. Well, he was unlike most of his kind. He accepted his dark nature, accepted his vampire life whole-heartedly. He'd been nothing before that. He and Dru traveled the world over. Killed, maimed, tortured...then his soul had been given to him through some vengeful witches. They had wanted guilt to drive a stake through his own heart. He smirked, it hadn't worked that way.

He'd felt guilt and distanced himself from Dru, yes, but he hadn't staked himself. Instead, he'd found a way to cope through a demon named Whistler. Whistler was a demon who thrived on changing people's lives. He found Spike at a time when he couldn't kill, could barely function and was lost without his Dark Princess. Whistler took Spike to Buffy. She wasn't a Slayer. She wasn't a Chosen One. She hadn't been called for anything. She simply was. She was a girl who'd been born a witch in a non-witch family and had the powers of a Slayer. had had been 10 when she realized she wasn't like other girls. She'd been 15 when she met Giles. She'd been 16 when she'd killed her first demon. It was at 17 she'd met Spike.

Whistler told him he had a destiny to fulfill. She was to be protected and cared for as the Slayer was. Unlike the Slayer however, she had Spike. A vampire with his ear to the grind and a knowledge of otherworldly foes, not to mention superhuman strength of his own.

What Spike saw when he first beheld Buffy was a girl with a big heart who was struggling to retain her 'normal life' whilst battling the forces of evil. Despite her abilities, she was still a girl with the same insecurities as any other girl. The only thing she hadn't been told in her life was what she was. She wasn't a Slayer, she didn't have a Watcher, she didn't have a Council to report to. All she had was her High Priest who assisted her as best he could and a mortal family who didn't always understand her. And friends she could barely relate to. She felt alone and isolated.

Spike vowed to never make her feel alone. He wanted her to feel what she was--special. She only wanted to feel that she was a normal girl. She wanted to party, hang out with her friends, date, go to the movies and go to college. She didn't have an expiration date like Slayers did, but she felt that she might as well have one. She did all the work a Slayer did without a Watcher or the training. So, Spike was her Watcher and her trainer. He was also the who who took her to parties, helped her study, took her to the movies and tried his best to make her feel normal and special at the same time. He didn't realize however, that all his attention had secluded her further. He couldn't go out during the day. He couldn't be with her when she wanted to go to the beach or spend the day in Salem. She couldn't tell her friends what he was. Couldn't explain to them why he'd never age and why he didn?t attend school with them. She couldn?t tell them anything. Her family knew, but that was only because she was forced to.

She wanted to marry one day, have babies and a family of her own. She had never said she wanted any of that with Spike, but Spike wanted to be the one to give it to her. The idea that some other guy could come along and be with her tore him apart. Especially since he knew he couldn't be the one to give her children. And how normal would her life be being married to a vampire? He couldn't be selfish, he had told himself. She deserved to have that life. She deserved all the things she dreamed about and more. He became whatever she needed him to be. In the beginning their friendship had been blissful and without hindrance. Then, as she grew older and the demons kept coming and it seemed she had lost all hope for normalcy, their relationship shifted. She went to Spike for help and assistance. She saw him less as her friend and confidante. She put space between them and Spike had felt it acutely. And one day, she came back to him. She didn't mention the distance she put between them, didn't mention the guys she dated here and there. She just started up their friendship one day as if nothing had ever happened. He never asked why she did it, how she could do it--didn't she know how much she meant to him? He just let her figure out his place in her life and accepted it. It was a far cry from the life he had led with Dru.

"I thought you might want to warn your girlfriend--"Willie came back.

Spike glared at him "she's not my girlfriend, you wanker."

"Is that what the whole problem is??"
]
Spike stared at him. "What did you want again?"

"Vampire gang coming into town looking for her. They managed to off the Slayer in Chicago and now want a piece of the other 'slayer'."

"She's not a damn Slayer!" Spike growled.

"Doesn't matter to them. She kills their kind. That's all they care about."

If possible Spike?s blood ran colder. "They come in here ,you give them a message for me: They touch one hair on her pretty little head and they will be torn limb from limb and scattered all over this damn city. And Willie, you tell me the second you get word they're in this tow

Willie nodded, eyes wide. Then he studied Spike as the blond vampire struggled into his black jacket and grabbed his cigarettes. "What is she then?"

Spike looked up at him as he lit his cigarette. "My mate." And he sauntered off, leaving a very confused Willie. Whether she wanted him or not, was was going to listen to him this time. Her life was in danger and her anger and resentment was not going to rule out over protecting herself properly. A Slayer was dead because of this gang. She was going to need his help and he was going to give it to her whether she liked it or not.

Spike sat outside her window. He knew his invitation must have been revoked by now, so it was useless to try. Instead, he opted to stay outside her window until dawn. Who knew when the gang had made their way to Boston. They had quite a trip in front of them, coming from Chicago, but Spike was not about to take any chances. He would protect her with his unlife.