When Doves Cry

When Doves Cry
By Ebony Silvers
Chapter 3
"Maybe You're Just Like My Father... Tearful"


New Orleans, Louisiana
Saturday, 2:03 a.m.
August 4, 2018

Spike frowned at the open suitcase and the stack of shirts in Jean's hands. "What's this then?" he asked coldly. "Going somewhere?"

Jean flinched a bit, startled. It was a testament to how upset and exhausted he was that he had neither heard nor felt his father's approach. René, on the other hand, had been aware of Spike since the moment his sire had entered the house. René placed a calming hand on Jean's wrist, a silent way of saying he'd handle this conversation. "Yes, sir. Jean's gonna come stay with me a while."

The severity of Spike's expression didn't lesse"Is "Is he?" He considered his estranged son. "I was surprised to sense you here, René."

"I sent for him," Jean quickly said. "I needed him and I sent for him."

"Don't lie to me, Jean," Spike snapped softly. "I won't put up with that."

Jean hung his head. He just didn't want Spike and René to fight again. He wasn't in any shape to deal with that tonight. Something cold had grabbed hold of his intestines and was twisting them. He felt ill.

"Jean, why don't you take Cordy's present to Connor? It's in the back seat of my car." René tossed Jean his keys. "You go on. I need to talk to Papa."

Jean clenched the keys in his fist, concern in every line of his body.

"We're just gonna talk. I promise," René assured him.

Jean nodded gratefully. He really didn't think he could face the two of them arguing again. He knew that if he was faced with anything else tonight he'd shatter like dropped crystal. He hurried from the room.

Spike watched him go with hard eyes. "So you already have him lying to me again?"

René refused to be drawn into an argument. "He didn't send for me, no. But he wasn't lying when he said he needed me. He did and I found out and I came." He didn't give Spike a chance to say anything hard and sharp. "Jean buried Marie today."

Whatever Spike had been about to say died unspoken. "Marie?" He looked to René for an explanation, his animosity forgotten in his concern for Jean Claude. "His wife?"

René nodded. "Yeah." René ran a hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face. He'd have to remember to get it cut. "Papa, Jean's a mess. He..." René shook his head at what Jean had done. He still couldn't quite comprehend the magnitude of how alone Jean had been. "For the last year-and-a-half he's been taking care of Marie." Spike frowned at him in confusion and René continued. "Yeah, with everything that was going on here with me and you and... everything, he had his own problems. And he didn't tell anybody. He'd take care of us and watch us drive ourselves crazy and near kill each other and then he'd go take care of his human family and watch his wife die little at a time. He was spending half his time here with us and half his time with them." He sank down in a chair, tired himself from uph upheavals of the last week and the turmoil his life had become. And now the one person he thought might escape with minimal scars had ended up torn to shreds. Jean was in pieces and René wasn't sure exactly how he was going to put his brother back together. He intended to set his own problems aside and try his damnedest. He faced his father sadly. "All those times we thought he was out hunting or with one of his cher amies, he was with Marie. He and Catrin been doing it all themselves. There toward the end, he did everything for her, fed her, bathed her, everything. Everything's been for her or for us. He ain't done nothing for himself in months. He ain't been hunting in weeks as near as I can tell; he's been living off bottled blood. God knows when he's been sleeping."

"Bloody hell." Spike sank down on Jean's bed, appalled. "He never said a word."

René shook his head. "No, he never did. And we never noticed." He was furious at his own blindness. "Sam found out somehow and told me." He leaned against the back of Jean's wing chair. "I came. I know you don't want me here but Jean needed me. I've tried to stay out of your way. I been staying at a hotel. But Jean wasn't in no shape to drive himself home tonight and he didn't need to be alone."

Spike waved the explanation aside. "No, you did the right thing." In the days since he had last seen René, Spike had been doing a great deal of thinking. "And this is still your home. I told you that."

René shrugged. "I figured after last week... well..." ouldouldn't get the words right. "I didn't think I'd be real welcome here."

Spike had the grace to look uncomfortable. All his philosophical musings aside, he had been cold and angry when he saw René standing in Jean's room. He'd let his emotions lead him to say cutting things that he didn't necessarily mean. "When your mother left, I jumped to a conclusion that I shouldn't have," he said. "I was desperate. You were the only one I could think of that she'd go to." He lo at at René unflinchingly. "I'm sorry. I should have known she wouldn't do that. She gave me her word. But more importantly, you gave me yours." Spike couldn't sit and say this. He got up and began to pace slowly. "It's pretty obvious from the shape you were in that you hadn't seen her." He paused and considered his son. René was sober and dressed in a dark suit--Spike assumed that was for the funeral--but René was rail thin and dark circles marked his eyes. For once, René's beauty appeared faded. "You look like hell, René."

Rene shrugged again. "You don't look so good yourself." Spike looked nearly as tired as René felt. Physically Spike appeared well but he projected an aura of weariness completely at odds with his normal manner.

Spike sucked his teeth. "I'm getting better. I'll work my way through this. I hope you do, too. I really do." Spike had Anne. And his anger at his wife aside, she had been right about one thing: Anne did make him happy. He simply had to find some way to reconcile his feelings for the two women that he cared about the most. Was this what Baby felt for René and him? Was this constant tug in two directiohat hat she always experienced? He had to find his wife and bring her home.

He looked at Jean's suitcase. "I can't believe he didn't tell us!"

"You know how he is. He didn't want to worry us." René wondered how many other times Jean had dealt with some private ta ala alone and they had all been too self-absorbed to notice.

Spike fingered one of Jean's silk shirts. "So he's been half-killing himself trying to do everything alone." Spike sat down again. "God, I've been blind."

"We all have," René said sadly. He looked down at his hands before facing his sire again. He wanted to be completely honest with Spike. He didn't want any more secrets or lies. "Papa. Me and Jean, we had a long talk. We decided it's best if we're together."

Spike's eyebrow climbed. "You mean together together?"

"Yes, sir. Jean's alone and so am I." He wasn't really sure how to explain. He wished he had Spike's faculty with words.

"What about...?"

Spike didn't have to word the question. René smiled bleakly. "That ain't gonna change. If it was, I'd have done something about it years ago and we wouldn't be ibe in this mess." He wasn't sure if his love for Baby was a blessing or a curse. It had opened his heart to feelings he had never thought possible. It had allowed him to find the gentleness he hadn't known he had, but it had also broken him and destroyed everything he cared about. "Jean knows that and he swears it don't matter. He says being with me even knowing the way I feel is better than being alone."

Spike nodded. Hadn't he heard nearly those exact words? Hadn't Baby sworn that his love for Buffy didn't matter because she could live with it? Hadn't he been exactly where René was? "It can work." Hadn't it worked for him? Hadn't two of the best decades of his life resulted from that decision? Some of his happiest memories had been forged with a woman he loved second-best. It had all gone to hell, it was true, but there had been a plethora of reasons for that. "Just don't either of you ever try to fool yourselves. That's when you end up heartbroken."

René nodded. He knew Spike spoke from experience. "Thank you, Sire." He looked down again. For the first time in two years, he felt connected to his sire. "You be alright here alone?"

Spike nodded. A sliver of warmth stole through him at the thought of his son's concern. "I'm not alone."

~~~~~

Connor closed the book on antique swords and set it aside. "It's pretty cool. Mom picks good presents sometimes." He smiled up at Jean. "Maybe we cank atk at it together next week? There's some stuff in there you'd like."

Jean smiled gently as he sat down beside Connor on the young man's bed. "I won't be here, fils," he said softly, patting Connor's hand. "I'm going away."

Connor felt his stomach clench. "For how long?" He didn't wait for Jean to answer. "Forever. You're leaving forever." That's what they always did wasn't it? They always left.

Jean nodded. "Yes, son. I'll come back to visit or when Papa needs me but I'm not going to live here anymore."

Anger settled into Connor's chest and he thrust out his jaw. He had no idea how much that action made him resemble his father. "Where are you going?"

Jean recognized the tightness of Connor's mouth for what it was. Nonetheless, he didn't try to sugarcoat his answer. He'd always been honest with Connor and it was one of the foundations of their relationship. "I'm going to Mobile. With René."

"René," Connor spat. "I don't like him." He crossed his arms, pulling away from Jean's touch.

"You don't know him," Jean corrected kindly.

"I know he made you unhappy. I know Uncle Spike hates him. I know he's sleeping with my mother." Connor's eyes turned hard and cold. "I don't need to know him to hate him."

Jean shook his head. "That's not the way to feel, fils. And your conclusions aren't all correct." He turned Connor's head so the young man had to look at him. "Spike doesn't hate René. They love each other. Fathers and sons can disagree and even fight but they still love eacher her through it all." He placed a hand on his suate ate son's shoulder.

Connor made a noise of disgust. "Yeah. Right."

Jean wasn't up to fighting that battle with the youth again. "It's true. And René didn't make me unhappy. In fact, tonight he made me happier than I've ever been." He smiled.

Consnorsnorted. "What'd he do? Ask you to marry him?"saidsaid sarcastically.

Jean's smile turned to a grin. "Yes. That's exactly what he did."

Connor glared at him in disbelief. "God! This whole family is insane." He shook his head. "So with everything he's done and even knowing he's having sex with my mother, you're going off to Mobile with him!"

Jean nodded. "Yes, I am. Tonight." He considered the sixteen-year-old for a moment. "Connor, I'm going to be living with René and your mother. I don't have to tell you how things are with the family. If René is with her, and he is, then there is a very good chance that I'll be with her, too." His gaze was steady while Connor thought about that. He gave the youth time to reach the proper conclusions. "You know I care about you, Connor, and that means I won't lie to you. If I live in Mobile, I'll probably sleep with your mother, too."

Connor thought about the way his relatives handled relationships. "Oh yeah. That's probably a given." He imagined Jean and his mom as a couple and found that the image didn't sting the way visions of his mom and René did. He sighed. "I don't mind you and mom being together. I just don't like René." Connor had never been able to convince anyone to tell him everything that had happened over the last two years but he had some ideas. And in his scenarios, René had played the role of villain. He wasn't sure exactly how, but he knew René was pivotal to what had gone wrong with the family as a whole. He knew his father hated René even more than Uncle Spike did. Of course, considering the way Connor felt about his father, being hated by Angel was a mark in René's favor. Connor looked at the one person he'd thought he could rely on and realized he was going to be alone again. "I don't want you to go, Uncle Jean," Conwailwailed and launched himself into Jean's arms.

Jean hugged the boy close. "I know, fils. I know." How could he explain to this child what was happening all around him? How could Jean tell him that yet another person he relied on was cracking under the strain of their emotional lives? if if he stayed Jean would join the growing list of family lunatics? "You could come, too. René wouldn't mind. I know he's offered before."

Connor shook his head and pretended he wasn't crying. "No. Mom didn't take me when she left," he said bitterly. "She didn't want me then so she doesn't need me there now. I'll stay here with Uncle Spike." Spike noticed him once in a while. Besides, what was there to do in Mobile? Could any place be more boring than Alabama? At least he could find something to do in New Orleans.

Jean sighed. "If that's what you really want. But you remember that you can always come to me."

Connor nodded and hugged Jean tightly. "I'll remember, Uncle Jean." He'd remember that you couldn't rely on anyone. He'd remember that they always left, even the ones that really loved you.

~~~~~

"You sure?" René said and adjusted thel phl phone so it was more comfortable. "You magnifique, you know that? Yes, and incredibly beautiful, too." He laughed softly. "Yes, and a wonderful lover." The smile on his face could be heard in his voice. "What'd I do to deserve you, Cordelia?" He glanced up and directly into Angel's fist. René went down hard, the telephone bouncing across the carpet.

"Merde!" he cursed and kicked Angel in the abdomen as the larger man reached for him.

Angel staggered back but quickly recovered and headed for René again. As the Cajun vaulted to his feet, Angel growled and fire danced across his eyes. "You fucking bastard. You're sleeping with my wife? I'm gonna kill you," he snarled.

René deftly avoided the first two swings of Angel's fist but the third clipped his shoulder. He evaded the full force of the blow but it was still enough to send him back against the wall. He knew he couldn't allow himself to be trapped there. René was taller than Angel but the older vampire was much heavier and immensely strong.

Angel's fist dented Spike's silk-covered wall as René threw himself to one side. He managed to land a kick to Angel's ribs and another to his shoulder before a block from the Irishman sent him flying. He flipped in midair and landed on his feet with catlike grace. René relied on his legendarily fast reflexes and his own superior strength in battle but he knew he was no match for Angel. He could only hope to knock Angel unconscious or evade him and run. René hoped to reach the pocket doors on the other side of room. If he could get out of the house, he had a chance. He knew he was much faster than Angel and he knew every inch of the French Quarter.

He ran straight for one of the Louis XIV settees and vaulted off its sturdy seat. He sailed over Angel's head, thanking the architect for sixteen-foot ceilings, and landed in a roll. He sprang to his feet and dived for the door. As his fingers brushed the polished brass handle, Angel's hand closed around his ankle, jerking him back and away from freedom and hope.

"That was good," Angel said. "That was really good." He smirked. "I'm impressed."

René kicked him, the sole of his boot landing flatly against Angel's face. Angel snarled but didn't let go. René kicked again and Angel batted his foot away. The older vampire twisted René's ankle viciously, grinning as he heard bones pop and break. René roared in pain but managed to slam his uninjured foot into the side of Angel's head. He pounded his fist into Angel's face three times in rapid succession before he managed to break Angel's hold on his leg. He scrambled away as quickly as his injury would allow.

"Oh no. It isn't going to be that easy, boy," Angel grated as he wiped the blood from his lip. "I'm gonna break every bone in your body before I rip your head off."

René feared that Angel wasn't lying. He swung a chair at his great-grandsire. Angel blocked it with his forearm, shattering it. René held on to one of the fragments. "I'll do my best to kill you if I have to, Angelus."

"You had cha chance at that," Angel growled. "And you threw it away." His hand closed over René's, squeezing and pulverizing the Cajun's slender fingers. Angel smiled. He crushed them slowing, enjoying the feeling as he felt the bones in René's hand grating against each other and the wood of the make-shift stake. He laughed when René finally screamed. He turned the splintered end of the chair arm toward René's chest. "Then again, maybe I'll just kill you and get it over with. You're not worth my attention, boy." René pushed back with all his strength, his uninjured hand clamped onto Angel's wrist. Angel's arm didn't budge and the older vampire grinned broadly. "You may have had my minions terrified of you but you just annoyed me. You never understood that you were there on my sufferance. I let you stay around to keep Baby warm at night. I could have killed you any time I wanted to. I just didn't want to." He ground the fingers of his free hand into the pressure point of René's hip, eliciting another cry from the injured man. "But now I do. Cordelia's mine! You dared to touch her, you piece of shit." He squeezed René's hand again, crushing more bones and pushing the stake a little closer to René's heart. René's cry of pain was as lovely as any he'd every heard. Angel had his heavy frame pushed against René's slighter one so René couldn't use his legs to kick or push Angel away. He leaned in and snarled, "You dared to touch my consort and that's why you're gonna die, you bastard." The jagged end of the stake snagged on René's shirt. René's arms trembled with the effort of holding the deadly wood away for a few more seconds but he knew he couldn't maintain the effort much longer. He slammed his forehead into Angel's face. Angel staggered back and growled, his eyes turning yellow. "That's it. Now I'm gonna dust you." He bent and picked up one of the broken chair legs.

Spike's forearm locked around Angel's throat. "Not tonight, Sire." He pulled Angel off-balance and forced him to the carpet. Beau and Jerry grabbed Angel's shoulders, helping their sire subdue their raging patriarch. Connor stared wide-eyed from the doorway. Jean ran to his brother. As two more of René's siblings appeared to help, Spike stepped away from Angel and went to his eldest sons. He knelt and quickly assessed René's injuries. "Not bad. You held your own remarkably well," he said. René nodded and leaned back against the wall gratefully. "Let's get you out of here,ike ike said, pulling René's arm over his shoulder. Shrieks and shouts from the telephone lying on the floor attracted his attention. Spike picked it up and spoke a tentative "hello" into the receiver. "Yes, Cordelia, he's alive. A bit the worse for wear but he'll be fine." He looked at René. "She wants to talk to you." René nodded and Spike held the phone to his son's ear.

"I'm alright, Mémé," René assured her.

Spike raised an eyebrow as he plainly heard Cordelia's reply. "Well, you better be because if you aren't I'm coming to New Orleans and I'm gonna kick Angel's ass!"

René grinned. "I'd like to see that." He smiled at Jean and used his uninjured hand to squeeze Jean's, assuring Jean that he really was all right. "Don't worry about me, m' cher. Me and Jean, we'll be home before dawn." Jean nodded. There was no way he was going to let René stay in the same house as Angel for one moment longer than necessary.

"He hurt you, didn't he? That big idiot hurt you. You only tell me not to worry if you're hurt! Oh honey! I'm so sorry. I should have known he'd be like this. Sweetheart, you get Jean packed and get your cute ass home where I can take care of you both."

"I will, m' belle ami," René answered.

There was a brief pause. "He didn't hurt anything ... important did he? I mean, everything's still where it's supposed to be?"

Jean's eyebrow shot up to match Spike's.

"No, belle. Everything still where it's supposed to be." René shot a look of pure loathing at Angel. "I promise you, he didn't hurt nothing that you and Jean g be be wanting later tonight." He allowed a purr to creep into his voice just for Angel's benefit. "I can still make you scream, sweet cher." It took all four of Spike's sons to hold Angel down.

Cordelia's laughter rang out over the long distance line.

René grinned. "I'll see you in a few hours, Mémé. Love you, cher," he concluded and Spike took the phoway.way.

He held it to his own ear for moment before walking over to Angel. His sire was sitting on the floor thinking of ways to kill René slowly and painfully. "She wants to talk to you," Spike said.

Stark terror settled on Angel's face. Spike almost felt sorry for him. Angel swallowed and took the phone. "Hi, honey," he said gently. He pressed the receiver tightly against his ear, trying to block most of Cordy's words from the other vampires in the room. He winced. "Honey, I... But baby, I..." He winced again. "I couldn't help it, Cordy. I smelled you all over him and then I heard your voice and what you were saying and I just lost it." The words "idiot" and “moron" were loud enough for the room to hear. "I know I don't have any right... I know that... But sweetie... But... I know that I.... Yes, dear. Yes, dear. But Cordy... Yes, dear. I'll never... No, dear." Angel screwed up his face as Cordelia's voice grew louder and words became intelligible to everyone.

"...Can't believe you were such a complete asshole. If you ever do anything like this again I'll dust you myself! Are you listening to me!"

Beau scrunched his face up in sympathy for Angel and was grateful he was single. His brothers looked uncomfortable and rather terrified. Her stay at Rue Royale had been enough to convince every male in the house that Cordelia Chase-Angel was a force beyond their comprehension.

"Yes, sweetie. I'm listening." Angel sneered at Spike's grin. He avoided looking at René at all and so didn't see the satisfied glee on the Cajun's face. Nor did he see Jean bury his face in René's chest to stifle his laughter. "Cordy, Cordy please. I just don't understand. You know how I feel. I could understand if it was someone else. But why him?" The pain that flashed across Angel's face was all too real. He listened in silence for several minutes, pain and regret sharing equally on his countenance. "I'm sorry, Cordy. I'm so sorry, honey. I'd take it all back if it could." He turned his back to the other vampires.

Spike jerked his head, signaling everyone but Jean and René from the room. Angel nodded at him gratefully. "I know I messed up, Cordy. I know that. I don't think about anything else anymore."

René's eyes turned hard and the amusement in them died. He knew how devastated Cordelia was. Didn't he hold her every day when she cried over Angel's betrayal and lies? Angelus could brood all he wanted but he wasn't doing anything to ease Cordelia's suffering. René despised him.

"I just want you to come home, Cordy," Angel said. "I'll do anything you want me to. Just please come home." He nodded unconsciously. "I . I. I just keep hoping..." His shoulders slumped. "No, I understand." He listened some more, glancing at René frequently. Something besides hate appeared in his eyes. "Then I'm glad. I don't want you to be alone." He drew a long breath. "All right. I love you. All right." He turned off the phone and let it fall to the carpet again. He turned and faced the trio that was making its way slowly to the door. "René?"

The Cajun turned to face Angel. The desolation on Angel's face was plain and painful to see. "She said you're the only thing that's kept her alive and sane for the last three months. She said you're the only friend she has left."

"I try to take care of her," René said softly. Still the truth of his words rang in the room.

Angel nodded. He remembered how gentle and caring René had been with Baby when they all been on the run. He thought of Cordelia alone in a strange city with no family or friends except this man. He was suddenly glad René had been there. "Thank you," he said harshly and stalked from the room. He didn't speak to Connor as he passed. His son stared after him for a moment before returning to his room alone.

~~~~~

As Spike and Jean began to help René from the room once more, the phone lying on the carpet beeped demandingly. Jean picked it up and handed it to René. René didn't recognize the number but he answered it. The list of people who had his cell number was very short and they only called in emergencies. He nearly dropped the phone when he heard her voice. "Bébé?" Only Spike and Jean's support kept him on his feet. He hadn't heard her voice in over three months. Not since he'd left her here in this house. "Are you all right? We all been so worried about you!" He listened for a moment.

Spike stared at his son and tried to hear what his wife was saying. The connection was exceptionally clear and he could hear most of what she was saying.

"...know you're hurt. Are you all right?" Spike closed his eyes. There was deep concern in her voice. He could feel that concern through their link and he realized she had to have felt René's injuries through the bond she had with his son.

"I'm fine, cher." René could barely believe she was speaking to him. He missed her so and sometimes dreamed of just talking to her.

"No, you're not. You're hurt. I can feel it. Are you in trouble?" The fear she felt for him warmed René. She still cared and somehow that mattered more than any injury or pain he might be feeling.

"No, Bébé," he reassured her. "I had a fight with Angelus. I a lia little bit squashed. I'll be fine." He couldn't sort out his emotions. He wanted to hold her and love her and shake her for being stupid. "Spike pulled Angel off before he could do anything permanent."

"Angelus!" She sounded terrified. "Don't go near Angelus, honey. He's too dangerous. How bad did he hurt you?"

"It's just my wrist and ankle. I've had worse." He quickly assured her and then gasped as he felt her open their bond for just a moment. Her love and concern flooded him and, for that moment, he felt whole. She softly withdrew until he could barely feel her presence, nothing more than a tingle at the back of his head. He felt bereft. "See," he said shakily. "I'm okay."

"Please be careful. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you." That was a lie. She knew that she’d go completely mad the day he died. She had no doubts about that.

René nodded and whatever else she said was lost to Spike as she lowered her voice. René listened to her whispers for a moment more. "I'll do that. Are you coming home? Oui, I understand, m' amour." He closed his eyes. "Mai oui, m' belle ange. Je t'aime, aussi," he whispered. He put away the phone with a sigh.

He kept his eyes closed a moment longer as though that could hold her to him for just a second more. Finally he opened them and turned to his sire. "Maman said to tell you she all right and you should stop worrying," he told Spike. "She says you need to go be happy like she told you to."

Spike shook his head. He'd hoped but hadn't really expected she'd talk to him. It didn't matter. He'd think of a way to find her eventually. "I'll never stop worrying. Just like you." He found most of the anger in his heart had died. It felt good not to be angry with René for a change. He wrapped René's arm more securely around his neck. "Let's get you out of here and get you patched up."

Jean nodded. He decided to ignore his mother's phone call. He was too tired to think about it. He focused on his brother. "Oui. You let Papa and me take care of you. We'll get you bandaged up and then you and I will head out for Mobile."

René nodded. "That's what I want."

Spike agreed. "I think that may be best for everyone right now. I'm glad the two of you have worked it out. It's about time someone around here had a little happiness."

Still, there was an emptiness in his heart as he watched Jean drive away two hours later. He hadn't faced life without Jean since he'd turn the young professor. He was suddenly unsure if he could run his empire without Jean's steady hand on the tiller. With that uncertainty nibbling at his heart, he turned his back on the Louisiana night and went in search of Anne.

~~~~~
TBC