No! But? Bollocks!

Chapter 4 - Getting to Know You

The next morning Xander woke, snuggled between one warm body
and one co Dor Dor was cuddled comfortably on his left side, while
Spike was wedged on his right between Lonnie and himself. Xander
smiled at the low purring sound Spike was emitting. He knew from
previous experience that the sound was Spike's way of comforting
those around him. Xander supposed that Angel and Dru must have
done the same for Spike when he was first turned. Xander's smile
grew wider when he realized that the purring must have begun last
night after the kids had joined them in bed.

Slowly, Xander extricated himself from the pile of bodies, making sure
not to jostle anyone awake. He made his way to the kitchen and put
on a pot of coffee, then rummaged through the cupboards to see
what suitable fare they had for breakfast. He pulled out the new box
of Quaker the they had bought at Walmart the other day and poured
it into the pot of boiling milk he had on the stove.

Xander was humming when Lonnie walked into the kitchen. She
looked adorably sleep rumpled, her hair a mass of riotous curls, her
jaw slack in a wide open yawn, and her tiny hands rubbing circles
over dazed eyes.

"Morning sweetheart." Xander greeted her as he continued to stir the
pot. "Breakfast is almost ready. Did you want some hot chocolate?"

Lonnie sat at the table, still trying to yawn away the morning. Finally
she looked up at Xander to answer his question. "Yes, please." She
looked eagerly around the kitchen. "Do you have those little
marshmallows?"

"You're a woman after me own heart, luv," Spike chuckled as he
walked into the kitchen, chest bare, pajama bottoms clinging
precariously low on his hips as he carried Dor to the table.

Xander laughed too, leaning his cheek out for his morning kiss as
Spike passed him on the way to the cupboard with the marshmallows.

"Good morning, Spike."

"Morning, luv."

Xander poured the oatmeal into two different bowls for the kids. Then
grabbed the carton of eggs from the fridge. He scrambled them
together, throwing in a couple of chunks of ham as he went. He
poured them into the frying pan before sprinkling some shredded
cheese on top.

The kids were busily scarfing down their oats when Spike pulled out
his mug of blood from the microwave. He and Xander both sat at the
same time. Xander dividing the eggs onto two plates, one for Spike
and one for himself. Without thought they both started eating, until
Dor's small voice broke the silence.

"Is that blood?"

Xander threw Spike a worried look, panic in his eyes.

"What makes you ask that, Dor?" Spike asked warily.

"Smells like it. Kinda looks like it, too," the little boy mumbled
between spoonfuls of oatmeal. "Can I have more 'mallows please?"

"Sure, sweetie," Xander answered, glad for the change of subject.
He grabbed the bag and was pouring in a few more treats, when Dor
spoke again.

"Are you a vampire?" Dor asked, raising one eyebrow at Spike. "Like
Dracula?"

"Dracula?" Xander asked, voice squeaking. "Did you know him?"

"We had dinner at his house once." Lonnie wrinkled her nose. "He
wasn't very nice."

Spike's brow crinkled in curiosity and a bit of worry. "Did he hurt you,
luv?"

"No." Lonnie put her spoon down and stared at the table. "But I
heard daddy tell mommy that Dracula made him feel small. He
sounded kinda sad when he said it."

Spike's hand reached out to cup Lonnie's. "Drac's not a very nice
bloke. So no, I'm not like Dracula." He directed his response to Dor.
"But I am a vampire." Spike stole a quick glance at Xander, wishing
he could ease the tension he saw in his lover's broad shoulders.

"Oh." Dor turned to face Xander, tiltins hes head in thought. "Are you
a vampire, too?"

Xander let out a tension filled chuckle. "Nope, not me. Just your
regular average Joe human."

"Oh," Dor shrugged, as if he didn't know or maybe didn't care what
the differences between a human and a vampire were. "'kay."

Spike and Xander locked gazes for a silent moment waiting for more
from the tiny duo, but no further questions were asked. Xander
breathed a sigh of relief before shooing both kids off to the sofa to
watch morning cartoons while he and Spike cleared the table.

"What do you think
"I
"I think Drac may be able to answer a few questions for us," Spike
answered, rinsing off the bowls before placing them in the
dishwasher.

"But Dracula's dead, Spike. Buffy dusted him," Xander reminded his
mate.

Spike gave Xander an exasperated look. "Do you think that after all
these centuries, Dracula was going to let *Buffy* dust him? With all
the gypsy tricks that silly sod knows, he'll unlive forever."

"O-k-a-y." Xander dragged the word out. "How do we find him?"

"It'll take a bit. I know some demons, who know some demons. I'll
start askin' around." Spike finished rinsing the silverware before
dropping them into the washer cage.

Xander's expression turned pensive as he thought about the fact that
they might allyally know who and what the kids are sometime in the
near future. That meant that they might actually discover some living
relatives. Some people who might take the kids away from them.

Xander was feeling really torn. On the one hand, he knew that having
relatives that loved them would probably be good for Dor and Lonnie.
But on the other, Xander dreaded having to give them up. He *knew*
that he and Spike would love and take care of them better than
almost anybody else in the world. He already loved them! Xander
swallowed back the lump in his throat. It was going to be really hard
to give them up.

Before Xander knew what was happening, strong arms surrounded
his torso and pulled him close to a cool body. "None of that now, luv."
Spike squeezed him in a tight embrace. "Thought we decided not to
worry 'bout that 'til we had to."

Xander hugged Spike back, wondering how it was that the vampire
always knew what he was thinking. Always knew when he needed
comfort and exactly how to provide it.

"You're right," Xander answered, giving Spike a quick peck on the
lips. "So...whhoulhould we do today?"

"Maybe we should ask the little blighters what they want to do?"
Spike suggested.

"Good idea, sweetie."

They went out into the living room together, a small smile curving
Xander's lips at the picture the two kids made on the couch. They
were curled up together under a worn blanket that Xander kept for
those late night movie sessions he and Spike usually had. Xander
really loved the fact that the kids were so affectionate towards each
other. They really seemed to want to take care of and protect the
other.

"Hey, kids!" Xander addressed them cheerfully. "What do you want
to do today?"

"Can we go to the zoo?" "Can we go to the movies?"

Both children spoke at once. They turned and gave each other
assessing looks.

"Let's go to the movies." "Let's go to the zoo."

They said in unison again, each suggesting the other's activity.

Xander laughed. "Why don't we do both? We can go to the zoo, and
then catch one of those IMAX movies, okay?"

"Yeah!" Dor answered happily. He was in the process of jumping off
the couch to go get dressed when Lonnie spoke again.

"Wait. What about Spike? He can't come out to the zoo with us, can
he?" Lonnie asked. Dor stopped and turned to stare at the vampire.

"No, luv. 'Fraid I won't be able to go out with you during the day,"
Spike answered. "No worries, though. I'll just see you when you get
back.""No."No." Lonnie shook her head. "We should all stay together. Why
don't we do something Spike can do, too?" She turned an inquiring
look at Xander.

"Well, sweetheart." Xander was touched that Lonnie wanted to
include Spike, but wondered whether this still had something to do
with her phobia about being separated from the two of them. "That
would mean we'd all have to stay indoors. Probably here in the
apartment."

"That's okay," Lonnie turned toward Dor, "right?"

Dor hesitated a tiny moment before nodding his head. "Can we still
watch a movie?"

"Are you sure you want to do that, luv? I don't mind, really," Spike
asked Lonnie.

"We want to stay with you." Lonnie turned her pleading look toward
Xander. "Please?"

"Of course, sweetheart," Xander answered, hugging her and sending
both she and Dor back to their bedroom to get dressed for the day.

"Sorry, luv." Spike apologized as soon as they were out of earshot.

"For what?"

"For ruining your plans," Spike answered dejectedly. He hated it when
his undead state got in the way of Xander's life. It was one of his
deepest fears that Xander would one day realize what a hassle it was
being with a vampire.

And now that there were kids in the picture, and Spike had no doubts
that Xander would keep them in the picture for as los pos possible, he
worried about it even more. What would they do if there was an
emergency during the day? Spike couldn't go, couldn't help. What if
one of the kids needed a ride to or from school? They would have to
call Xander. How could he be a parent to any child, let alone two,
when he was so hampered?

Xander watched as Spike's expression turned from dejected to
worrisome. He knew what his lover was thinking; it was a
conversation they'd had more than once during their relationship.
Xander wouldn't trade Spike for anything in the world, and he never
saw Spike's sun allergy as anything more than a small hiccup in their
plans.

But Xander knew that it was just another thing that made Spike feel
like less of a man, at least in their relationship. As a vampire he was
never bothered by the fact that he could only carouse during the
night. But after the chip, it was just another thing he couldn't do. With
the chip in his head he couldn't hunt, and when he started to hang out
with thoobioobies he couldn't do anything but wave goodbye to them
during the day. The chip wouldn't allow him to be a vampire, and he
couldn't be a man.

"Hey," Xander called softly, breaking Spike out of his funk. He
stepped closer bringing Spike into his embrace, and pressing a rough
kiss against his forehead. "You didn't ruin anything. I *love* that the
kids want to spend time witu. u. And even though I'm a little bit
wigged, I'm glad that they know you're a vamp." Xander kissed him,
pressing gently then sweeping his tongue across Spike's pouty
bottom lip. "My vamp." Xander nibbled, grazing his teeth against
said lip, until it was red and swollen from his kisses.

"Now, what kind of movie do you want?" Xander pulled away to grab
his coat. "The kids and I will go pick it out, and grab some movie
munchies."

"No monster flicks, yeah? 'Cept maybe that one with the giant man
eating plant and the transvestite, bloody brilliant that!" Spike grinned
cheekily.

"I think the kids are a little too young for the Rocky Horror Picture
Show, Spike," Xander admonished, though he was grinning at his
lover.

"Fine." Spike pretended to pout. "But you better get the popcorn with
the extra butter. And some of those chocolate covered peanut
things." Spike added.

"Goobers."

"Am not!"

"Not you, you doof." Xander laughed. "The chocolate covered
peanuts. They're called Goobers."

"Oh, yeah, knew that," Spike mumbled and was happy to be saved by
the kids rushing back into the room.

Spike grabbed the coats they'd bought the other day and made sure
each of them was wearing one.

"But 's not even cold outside!" Dor whined.

"Doesn't matter. You keep this coat on, unless Xander says it's
okay." Spike gave Dor his best 'Master' look.

"Yes, Spike," Dor agreed grudgingly.

"Can't comecome with us?" Lonnie asked as Spike bundled her in her
own coat.

"Sorry, luv. But you'll only be gone for a few and then we'll all squat
on thn the living room with the snacks and movies, okay?" Spike
asked, kissing her on the cheek.

"Okay," Lonnie agreed reluctantly.

Xander observed the byplay with concern. Lonnie really was afraid to
be separated from either of them. He supposed it was only natural,
but Xander wished he knew what he could do to help.

Xander watched as Spike turned to give Dor a goodbye kiss as well.
The boy made an 'ick' face, but he turned his cheek up anyway,
waiting for the peck. Xander sighed. How could Spike think he
wouldn't make a good dad?

When it was his turn for a goodbye kiss, Xander eagerly leaned
forward. Before pulling away completely he pressed his lips to
Spike's ear and whispered. "I think you'd make a bloody brilliant
dad." Xander tried for the accent, but it came out wonky and ended
up making Spike laugh. Which was his goal anyway, so score!

They kissed again, and only stopped when Dor tugged on Xander's
coat urging them to leave. "Better go." Xander grinned, taking both
kids' hands in his. "Be back in a jiffy." Then they were out the door,
and Spike was left alone.

Spike sat down on the couch and considered Xander's words. What
kind of da would he make? It wasn't as if he had any real examples,
his father having died when Spike was barely twelve. And he
definitely wasn't going to use Angelus as a role model. So how did
he know what kind of da he would be? How did Xander know?

Well, maybe now wasn't the time to think about it. Maybe he could
just shove it aside the way he and Xander were shoving aside their
worry over losing the kids. He was a one day at a time kind of vamp.
So that's how he'd handle this. One day at a time. So far, so good.