Now and Then

Spike glanced up at the flashing blue and red neon sign. ‘The Last Ditch’ , it so proudly announced as the name of the club. Then was a line of people at least ten deep waiting to get in, held back by a red cord strung across the entry way. Jumping over it, he came face to face with the real reason all those people were standing idly by instead of rushing the door to the hottest night club in the city.

Derrick, the six foot five, african american, ex football player, ex marine, full time bouncer of the club. Sidling past him, Spike shot a cocky glance at the pissed off crowd and threw an off handed “Evenin’ Mate” at the wall of flesh he was pushing by.

“You know you’re supposed to come in the back”

Spike had to crane his neck to look at the man and it severely diminished his previous air of superiority. Shrugging he glanced back at the crowd.

“Yah, but then I wouldn’t get to see your charming face. Sides’ what fun is that, can’t annoy the locals sneaking around the back door.”

Stepping into the busy atmosphere of the club, he headed straight for his favorite spot. The ten feet of blackened and polished mahogany that made up the entire back wall. It was a bloody spectacular bar. Ducking around a group of giggling college girls, he shot them an appreciative grin and slammed his hands down, demanding a drink. The bartender shot him a
long-suffering look and slid a glass of yellow liquid towards him. Spike tipped back the shot and nearly choked as a hand clapped down on his shoulder. Spinning around he met the eyes of the owner of the club. Jules was in his late fifty’s and tried to hide it by wearing his hair in a ponytail and garish silk suits. The effort was pointless but no one bothered to tell him because Jules was also the head of the most powerful family in the city.

“Spike, glad you showed. Could use you’re particular brand of assistance, a few of your kind snuck themselves in here.”

Spike stiffened slightly at the derogatory tone the man used when referring to ‘his kind’ but quickly shrugged it off. He had been in Jules employ for over two years and had no desire to rock the boat. He took care of any and all problems that threatened the business dealings of this man. It was almost ironic that he was now getting paid to do what he had done for
years without so much as a thank you. Of course this wasn’t for the greater good, it was strictly an assassin type deal. Fact was he was bloody good at it, had built a reputation as one of the most feared people in LA by both humans
and demons alike. Thanks to Jules influence with a certain group of government doctors. A spot of violence here and there and everything he could ever want was provided. Good work if you could get it. Signaling the bartender, Spike
ordered another shot then turned back to his boss.

“Not here for the atmosphere tonite, Jules. Just popped in for a quick spot of liquid courage.”

Jules raised a brow and eyed the shot in Spike’s hand.

“You need courage? Must be a real mean son of a bitch you got your sights on then.”

“Real nasty type, man could get lost in all that magnificent moping and hair gel.”

Jules blinked at him. “Huh?”

“Nothing, just hoping this guy can help me find something I lost.”

Jules shrugged and glanced back at the club.

“Speaking of things you lost. Pissed Abby off again didn’t you.”

Spike visibly stiffened at the mention of his girlfriends name.

“What makes you say that?”

“Cause she’s had her tongue stuck down that kids throat since the minute you walked in the door.”

Spike peered into the crowd on the dance floor and spotted his girlfriend with her legs and arms wrapped around some college man.

“Bloody hell!”

Spike smashed his drink down on the bar and stalked across the room towards them.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Buffy reeled slightly as the guy who had dragged her outside shoved her up against the wall of the alley behind the bar. Peering at him through blurry eyes, she shoved ineffectually at his shoulders.

“Let’s go back inside.” She pleaded, “ I want more of those boiler maker thingys.”

Groaning slightly, she shoved at the hand trying to get under her top.

Why does everyone insist on making my life more difficult.

Buffy glared at the guy slobbering all over her neck and tried to figure out how she had got into this position. She had left Angel’s with no real destination. It was almost two blocks of muttering and cursing before she realized that her face was vamped. It had taken another two before she calmed down enough to revert to her human features.

When she finally got them under control she had found herself getting pushed into line with a bunch of giggling girls. She was in the interior of some kind of bar before she had time to realize what was happening. Within seconds of arriving, some guy had handed her a shot, assuming she was part of his crowd. Lacking viable options and feeling more than a little sorry
for herself, she had participated in the ongoing rounds of shots and beer. Just when she was on her way to getting well and truly drunk, some idiot had pulled her up from the table. At first she had thought they were going to dance but for some reason now found herself getting mauled in the alley. Craning her neck to see his face, Buffy tried to reason with him.

“Look, I’m sure your really nice and all, but I’m am so not in the mood. Let’s go back inside and get another drink, maybe later we can-”

The wannabee Romeo suddenly lost all sense of sweetness and Buffy cringed when his hand wrapped in the back of her hair and pulled her head viscously back.

“This is my game, bitch, and your gonna play it just like the rest.”

Buffy stared at him in shock and felt the first tendrils of fear curl in her stomach. “What?”

“Come on baby, you know you want this, let’s quit the act. You know your just a tired little piece of slutty trash, that is dying for someone to pay attention to her.”

Buffy shoved at his shoulders. His words were echoing too closely some of the comments Spike had thrown at her just a few hours before. Buffy wedged her hands between their chests and pushed with all her strength. A small cry caught in her throat as she realized just how weak she was. The alcohol combined with lack of blood had made her as weak as a kitten.

No this is not happening

Even as she thought it, his hand was ripping at her pants. A scream started to build in her throat as she felt his fingers rip through the fabric and shove up inside her. Tears were streaming down her face as she heard the telltale sound of a zipper opening. Buffy realized dimly that the loud piercing wail she was hearing was the sound of her own screams.

I can’t let this happen. I have to stop this.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


“Come on, luv, I said I was sorry. It was business.”

“That’s no excuse for running out on me when we were………well you know”

Spike smiled at her, amused that someone so gifted in bed couldn’t bring herself to say the words in public.

“When we were what, luv, shagging like animals?”

Abby ducked her head and smiled shyly.

“Yah, when we were doing that.”

Spike slid his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her head. He really enjoyed this woman in and out of the bedroom.

“No more distractions, I promise. Just gotta make a quick call and let someone else deal with it.”

Leaning back, he lifted her chin and gazed into her eyes.

“Okay?”

At her nod he pulled her tight and smiled into her face. Tracing the curve of her cheek he cocked his head and grinned suggestively.

“Why don’t you go back to my place and put on that little red thing I like……That is if you can tear yourself away from the whelp over there.”

Abby slapped playfully at his arm.

“Spike, you know you’re the only one I want to be with. I was just trying to make you jealous.”

Peeking up through her lashes she asked coyly.

“Did it work?”

“You know it did, luv. Brought me to heel right quick. Matter of fact-“

Spike was cut off by the abrupt arrival of Jules.

“Spike get out back… Now!… Some bitch just took a chunk out of one my regulars.”


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Spike crouched next to the body of a man in his early twenties. Flipping his head to the side, he found ragged tears where the throat had been half ripped out. Spike glanced up at Jules, who was hovering by the door.

“Probably a new one. Look at this bite, no bloomin’ finesse what-so-ever.”

“I don’t give a shit about bite etiquette, Spike. Just do your job. Can’t have some two bit vamp slowing down the flow of my business.”

Spike stood up and stared down the alley towards the street.

“Probably didn’t get far, the new ones are just looking for the next kill. I bet a short walk and I’ll run right into-”

Spike’s words were cut off by a low moan coming from behind a dumpster.

Circling back he approached the sound cautiously.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are. No need to hide. Just want to talk.”

He called out in a sing song voice.

Reaching around the corner of the dumpster he grabbed a handful of cloth and pulled the figure into the open, and almost lost his grip as shock reverberated through him.

“I was…..he was……and then…………oh god, Spike.”

Spike stared dumbfounded at the girl dangling from his fist. Buffy was a mess. A river of blood dripped off her chin, mingling with tears to create a dull red paste on the front of her formerly white top. The front of her short was ripped almost in two and he could see huge welts that must have been scratches marring her chest. She had on a pair of grey sweat pants that were riding so low on her hips they looked like they would just slide off any second. She was shaking uncontrollably and her hands were clutching at the fist he had balled up in her shirt.

Dropping his hand he studied the babbling mess in front of him for a moment. It occurred to him that maybe she was sorry for the boys death. But he rejected the idea as the smell of blood that covered her wafted up to his nose. Glancing back at the decimated body on the ground he came to the conclusion that she wasn’t his Buffy anymore and he had better get used to it. That said she still needed him, shaking his head he resignedly swept her into his arms.

“It’s okay, Buffy…….shhh……it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Stroking her hair, he slipped an arm under her knees and lifted her to cradle against his chest. Turning around he started to walk down the alley. A voice to his right stopped him in his tracks.

“What the fuck is this shit, Spike? You know the score.”

Spike slowly turned his gaze from the bundle he carried to his forgotten boss.

“Not this one, Jules.”

Jules ran a hand down his face in frustration and studied the determined look on his employees face. After a moment he nodded.

“All right, fine. Take her to Derrick, he’ll take care of it.”

Buffy whimpered in his arms and Spike tightened his hold.

“No. Nobody touches her.”

“Spike you know the rules and and you know that I am not the type of man you want to fuck with. So do your god damn job and stake that bitch or let someone else do it.”

Jules lowered his voice to a menacing growl.

“Before I am forced to renegotiate your contract.”

Spike placed Buffy softly on the ground and walked over to the man. Glancing at the crumpled figure, he lowered his voice and leaned into Jules.

“Look, mate, don’t worry, I’ll get rid of her. Me and the bint had something going a while back, lots of hidden talent in that one. Just thought I could coax a little gratitude out for saving her neck. Once I’m done with her, she’s dust.”

Jules eyed him skeptically but agreed. Spike’s sigh of relief was short lived at his bosses next words.

“Don’t make me have to rethink your loyalty here. You know what I can do for you, Spike. You also know what I can do to you. Let’s hope we don’t have to find out and end our partnership.”

Spike watched the him retreat back inside and slowly unclenched his jaw. He hated having to suck up to anyone, especially that typeof revolting little man. Some things couldn’t be helped though and staying on Jules good side made for a profitable,
undusty, unlife. Pushing away from the wall he stalked back to Buffy and pulled her off the ground. Stomping down the
alley he dragged limp body behind him.

“Come on then. Let’s get you out of my hair before you screw up my life even more than you already have.”

“Where are you taking me?” she mumbled

“I’m thinking a little reunion is a damn fine idea. Cheer up, pet. Soon you’ll be making puppy eyes at your one true love.”

Spike whipped around when the hand he been holding was ripped out of his grasp.

“Nope, no way. Not going.”

Spike gaped at Buffy, just seconds ago she had been a crying, A pitiful little girl. Now he was facing a defiant strong woman. A tiny thrill went through him as he caught a glimpse of the slayer. Pushing it down, he filled his voice with annoyance.

“What? Of course your going. This is perfect.”

“No, it’s not perfect. I’ve already seen Angel and let’s just say he’s not doing cartwheels about all the things we have in common now.”

Spike glared at her for a minute then abruptly turned and punched his fist into a wall.

“I should have know the great poof wouldn’t be able to deal with this. What your not pure enough for him now? Or is he still knee deep in sexual frustration over the cheerleader?”

Buffy visibly cringed at the question but didn’t answer. Taking her silence as agreement he began pacing the alley.

“What in the bleedin hell am I supposed to do with you now?”

Still pissed off Buffy shrugged and examined her nails. After a few more minutes of his furious pacing she’d had enough.

“Never really improved much with in the planning department, did you?”

At his growl, Buffy grinned and limped past him.

“Anyway as fun as this has been, I’ll just be going now.”

Spike grabbed her arm

“Oh no you don’t. I can’t leave you out here for anyone to stumble over. You’re coming to my place until I figure out how to get rid of you.”

“What do mean get rid of me?’” she choked

Spike dragged his hand through his hair in frustration.

“I mean until I can get you out of town. If anyone finds out you’re still alive, I’m a dead man.”

“You know Spike, you really should pay attention to the words coming out of your mouth. In case you haven’t noticed I’m not alive anymore and you aren’t gonna get much deader. But seeing as how I’m not real big with the options right now, let’s go.”

Moving past him she started down the alley

“And just so we’re clear don’t you even dream about touching me.”

Spike glared at the blonde stomping up the alley.

“Have you looked at yourself lately, not exactly a lust inspiring sight.”

Buffy stopped and glared over her shoulder at him.

“Good, then I guess you won’t need to bother coaxing any gratitude out me.”

Spike blanched slightly.

“Heard that did you?”

Buffy tapped her ear and mouthed the word ‘vampire’ before rounding the corner of the alley.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Buffy picked up an ashtray and idly passed it from hand to hand, waiting for Spike to reappear from his bedroom. She was trying to decide what was bothering her more. The fact that Spike had an apartment or the fact that Spike had a really nice apartment.

Sure beats the hell out of the crypt. Wonder where he got the cash for this?

Deciding that ignorance was bliss she leaned over to examine the magazines on the coffee table in front of the couch she was sitting on.

Cosmo! What in the hell is Spike doing with Cosmo?

She glanced up as Spike stalked out of the bedroom and tossed a pile clothes at her.

“Go get cleaned up, you look bloody awful.”

Buffy stared at the clothes in her hands and lifted up a frilly blue shirt.

Well there’s the Cosmo explanation.

Folding it carefully she looked up at Spike.

“So does she live here or…?”

Buffy let the question hang in the air and held the shirt up in front him.

“Who? Oh that, Abby leaves some stuff here so she doesn’t have to go home.”

“Abby.” Buffy tested the name on her tongue, it definitely came with a bitter tang. “Have you known each other long?”

“About two years. We met when I-“ growling Spike cut himself off. “I’m not doing this, Abby is off limits.”

“Why are you doing this. Obviously, I’m messing up your life, so why are you bothering at all?”

Spike sighed and flopped down on the couch beside her. He studied her face for a moment as if trying to realize the answer himself.

“There’s nothing wrong with helping out an old friend who got themselves in a spot of trouble.”

Buffy stared down at her hands and picked at the nails on one.

“Nice speech. Maybe put a bit more emphasis on the old before you make it to her though.”

“ Bloody hell, Buffy! What do you want from me? I’m risking my ass for you, so don’t give me this jealousy crap. Especially since we both know you don’t mean it. I loved you once, and yes for the sake of your precious ego a part of me still does.
You know it damn near killed me to leave Sunnydale…… to leave you. I’m sorry, if it bothers you but, yes, I moved on. Look Buffy, you know I’ll help you any way I can. But I also want you to know that as soon as your on your feet, I need you gone.”

Buffy nodded and bit the inside of her lip.

“I understand, I do. I don’t want to mess things up for you. I can see you really got things together. I never really got to tell you how sorry I was about….well everything.”

“You didn’t have to.” Spike held her chin and tilted herf ace so she was looking at him.

“I always knew how you felt Buffy. I was the idiot who fell in love with a girl who couldn’t love me back. Besides, luv, any pain I felt was nothing compared to what that blighter you married did to you.”

At his reference to ,single-handedly, the worst mistake of her life, Buffy blanched. Sighing, Spike pulled her into his arms.

“You didn’t know. No one could have know what he was up to.”

“You did.” She mumbled against his chest.

“That? I was just blowing off some jealous steam. Really though, If I had even guessed for one second what he was really up to I never would have let him touch you.”

Buffy felt tears she had thought long gone well up in her eyes.

“Yah, chalk another one up for Buffy. The only idiot in the world who could marry a demon assassin with a contract to kill her.”

Pulling back, Spike wiped at her face.

“Stop it. He fooled us all. Even I didn’t see he was a demon. I’m just sorry you had ……well you know what you had to do.”

Buffy nodded and moved out of the circle of his arms.

“It’s okay, I dealt with it a long time ago. My biggest regret is sleeping with the sonofabitch before I got the chance to tear off
his head. And I mean that head tearing bit in the literal sense, buying that dress was damn expensive.”

Spike laughed slightly

“That’s my girl, glad to see it didn’t hold you up too long.”

“So, you never did tell me.” He said ,gesturing at her neck. “How many were there?”

Buffy swallowed convulsively, she had been dreading this. All the details of her last death had come screaming back when she sang for Lorne. Finding an abject fascination with a spot just above Spike’s head she tried to stutter out an explanation.

“Well there was just one actually.”

“One? How’d that happen. You were the best I’ve ever seen.”

Buffy’s confession was cut off by a slight knocking at the door. In a sudden panic Spike jumped off the couch and glanced wildly around the apartment, flipping his gaze from the door to her.

“Dammit, I forgot.”

Pulling her off the couch, Spike shoved Buffy towards the bathroom.

“Don’t come out until she’s gone. Understand me.”

“Yes, Spike I get it. Don’t want your current to find your ex hanging around the-“

The sentence was cut off as the door slammed in her face. Glaring, she pulled off her wrecked top and threw it at the door.

So much for the heart to heart.

Spinning around she grabbed the frilly blue shirt she still held and started to yank it over head. Her attention was caught by the mirror as the shirt seemed to float above her and then disappear as she dragged it down on her body.

Okay, that’s just neat.

Looking around the bathroom her gaze fell on the toilet and she had to smother a laugh as it occurred to her that it was something she would never need again. Pulling off her ripped pants, all laughter died as she stared at the ragged tears in them. Sinking slowly to the floor, she stared up at the ceiling trying to stop the tears in her eyes. Angel’s words about not
being able to fight her demon came rushing back.

Fact was, she hadn’t even tried. The second she had felt her pants start to slide down instinct had kicked in. Use any weapon available. She still remembered the way his body had stiffened as her teeth slid in his neck. Even the sound of him screaming hadn’t quieted the thrum of pleasure as his blood had flooded her veins. At the time she had felt pure euphoria but now she just felt an overwhelming urge to purge herself of borrowed blood. Placing a hand on her stomach, Buffy tried to quell the sudden attack of queasiness.

Come on, Buffy. Get a grip. You know what he was going to do. You had no choice.

With that line of reasoning another idea came and that one sent her straight to the toilet. Leaning her head against the seat she wiped at the traces of blood on her chin. Her guilt had nothing to do with the fact that she had killed a human being. It had all to do with the fact that she didn’t care.

Oh good one Buffy, feel guilty for not feeling guilty, That’s productive.

Easing up to her knees she glanced at the door and froze. There was no way they couldn’t have heard her. Squeezing her eyes shut she waited for the door to fly open. After a few minutes, she pried one eye open and peered at the door. Crawling over, she pressed her ear to it, even with her now advanced hearing she could only catch bits and pieces of murmured
conversation. Sighing thankfully she resumed her place against the wall.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Twenty minutes later, she was still sitting in the same spot. The only thing she had been able to determine was that they had left the living room and were, presumably, continuing the conversation in the bedroom.

“Come on, Spike,” she muttered, “Get rid of her. Nice bathroom and all but I think I’ve had the tour now.”

Dropping her face against her upraised knees, she began a mental list of things she was going to do to repay him for forcing her to hide in the bathroom. Many of which involved a stake and his ass. The grin from her mental picture faded swiftly as a low moan reverberated under the door. Jumping to her feet Buffy felt her body tense as the noise got louder.

“You have got to be kidding me……. He wouldn’t. There’s no way he’d….”

Buffy felt a growl begin low in her throat as she heard a female voice break the silence of the apartment.

“Oh yes, Spike”

Fury ran through her veins and Buffy pulled on the jeans that had come with the top.

That son of a bitch. I’m going to kill him. I’m going to rip off his head and use it as a hat.

Ripping open the bathroom door she stalked around the apartment looking for shoes. Spotting a very nice pair of designer boots she picked them up.

“Oh god. Yes there. Please Spike. Oh yes.”

Glaring at the closed door to the bedroom she pulled on the boots.

I bet he’s doing the tongue thing.

A high pitched squeal came flying at her ears.

Yep, definitely the tongue thing. Bastard.

Heading for thefront door, she tried to remember every swear word she had ever learned and systematically started to apply them all to Spike, starting with A. Spike’s low guttural moan added to the girls and Buffy fought the urge to cover her ears.
Reaching for the door handle she froze as Spike’s voice rose above the girl’s screams.

“Yes, baby. Oh God…….Buffy.”

Buffy calmly dropped her out stretched arm and slowly turned around. Moving to the couch she sat down, crossed her legs and watched the door to the bedroom. Her face remained completely impassive as a small red head came rushing out of the room.

“You son of a bitch. You’ll pay for this, Spike.”

Buffy barley kept the grin off her face when a naked Spike came rushing out behind her.

“Abby…….I’m sorry……shit…..Abby come back here.”

“No Spike. This is it. I’ve put up with your crap long enough. This is the last straw. We are finished……..And who the fuck is that?” she said pointing at the spot where Buffy sat.

Tired of fighting the grin on her face, Buffy stood up and offered her hand to the enraged woman who appeared to be searching for her shoes.

“Hi. Pleasure meeting you at last. Abby, is it?” Buffy shot an amused glance at Spike who was frantically waving his hands in the air pleading with her for silence.

Oh I don’t think so, Spike. Not after that.

Smiling sweetly she turned her attention back to Abby.

“ I don’t think we’ve properly introduced.”

She heard a slight moan of pain coming from Spike’s position and her smile grew wider.

“ I’m Buffy.”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Buffy tried to push herself up off the couch, but every time she looked Spike another bout of laughter would send her back down. He was still naked, sitting in an armchair beside her, alternating his glare from the door to her.

“I’m…….sorry.” she choked out between giggles.

Spike grabbed a cigarette from the table between them and lit it. Blowing out the smoke he fixed a furious gaze on her.

“No your not. But you will be.”

“What? Why? Come on Spike she’ll get over it. Or not.”

The idea swept her off into another round of laughter.

“No she won’t. You don’t know who she is. And now that she’s seen you it’s not going to take long for her to put two and two together.”

Buffy started to sober at the ominous tone in his voice.

“What do you mean? Who is she?”

Spike leaned over and tapped his smoke in the ashtray she had been playing with earlier.

“You remember that pleasant man at the club.”

At Buffy’s nod Spike blew a stream of smoke in her face.

“That was Abby’s father.”

“Oh shit”

“Exactly”