Soul Mates

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****

Xander watched, a little uncomfortably, as Anya crossed the store to stand in front of him at the counter. It'd been, what, eight or nine months since he'd last seen her? And they hadn't parted on great terms. For one brief second, he worried that she'd gotten her powers back and had returned to hit him with some kind of terrible vengeance curse. But he quickly decided that wasn't the case; after all, their breakup had been just as much her decision as his. And besides, she didn't look angry - if anything, she looked a little anxious.

"Hello, Anya," Giles said as she approached. If he was uncomfortable at all, he didn't let it show. "You're looking well."

"Thank you," Anya replied. "And.... So are you." The addition sounded a little forced, but Xander supposed that was typical for her. She was obviously still having trouble with human pleasantries.

"I wasn't aware that you'd returned to Sunnydale," Giles said.

Xander hadn't had any idea that she was back, either. She'd left town shortly after she'd broken up with him, which he'd taken as a clear message that she wasn't interested in trying to patch things up. He hadn't seen or heard from her since.

"I just got back," she said. "I came to see Xander."

"You, um.... You changed your hair," Xander said, nodding toward her blonde curls. No sooner were the words out of his mouth than he was inwardly cursing himself for how inane they sounded. Here was his ex-girlfriend, who he was seeing for the first time in months, and that was the best he could come up with? Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Anya absently took a strand of her hair between her fingers. "Oh. Yes, I thought a change might do me some good. And they do say that blondes have more fun," she said, chuckling nervously. She paused briefly and looked at him, and the way she tilted her head slightly gave the unnerving impression that she was evaluating him. "So.... Can we talk?" she asked.

"Um, sure," Xander replied. Willow and Tara had said they'd be late getting here, so he had a little time.

"Somewhere else?" Anya prompted, glancing pointedly at Giles.

"Oh. Yeah, sure," Xander said. "Why don't we go to the Espresso Pump? It's only a couple of blocks from here. Giles, I'll be back a little later," he said, and Giles nodded in reply.

"Very well. I'll see you later," he said, unflappable as ever. Xander decided that one day he'd have to ask him how he always managed to stay so calm and collected, no matter what was going on. He wished he could do that. Was that something you could learn, or did it just come with being British?

Giles turned back to the cash register, and Anya walked to the front door of the shop, Xander following behind her. After they exited to the sidewalk, he fell in step beside her as they walked to the Espresso Pump.

"So, how did you find me?" Xander asked. She'd left before Giles had bought the Magic Box, so he was curious.

"Oh. I went to your house," Anya replied. "Your father was somewhat incoherent, but he told me that you'd moved out and he didn't know where you were living now, but that I might be able to find you at 'That fruity new-age magic store downtown.'"

Xander winced. His father hadn't changed one bit - not that Xander had expected him to. "I'm sorry you had to deal with him," he said.

"Oh, I've encountered far more unpleasant men in my time," Anya said cheerfully. "Though I was usually making them suffer horribly, which did make it more tolerable."

"Um, yeah," Xander said. "I... suppose it would." He was saved from having to say anything else by their arrival at the Espresso Pump, and he held the door open for Anya, then followed her inside. The place wasn't very busy, so when they sat down at a table near the entrance, a waitress approached them almost immediately. Anya ordered an iced coffee, and as the waitress left, she turned back to Xander and met his eyes, holding his gaze until he started to feel a little uncomfortable.

"So, what've..." Xander began, but that was as far as he got before Anya interrupted him.

"I want you back," she said.

Xander blinked. "What?" He'd heard her just fine, but he was caught off guard and that was all he could manage.

"I want you back," Anya repeated. "I want us to resume our relationship."

"You do remember when we broke up, right?" Xander said. "You said we weren't connecting."

"Yes, I remember," Anya said. "But I think I made that decision too quickly. I've been missing you. I don't like being single, and I don't see any reason to go through the hassle of looking for a decent man when I already know where to find one. Even if we don't see eye-to-eye on some things, you *are* a decent man."

Xander was about to reply when Anya spoke again. "And I miss the orgasms you used to give me," she said.

Of course, the waitress arrived with Anya's iced coffee at exactly that moment, and she stared down at them in shock upon hearing Anya's words. Xander chuckled awkwardly and looked up at her. "Thanks," he said. "We'll pay at the register."

Recovering quickly, the waitress nodded and set Anya's coffee down in front of her. "No problem," she replied, and made a quick exit back to the counter.

As the waitress left, Xander sighed and turned back to Anya. "Anya, didn't we...." Thinking better of what he was about to say, he stopped himself and shook his head. He didn't want this conversation to get sidetracked by another argument about what was and wasn't appropriate for discussion in public.

"Never mind," he said. "Look, I'm flattered that you want me back. Really. But... it's just not possible."

"Why not?" Anya asked, looking at him curiously. "Are you seeing someone else?"

Xander nodded. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, I am."

Anya's face fell. "Oh." She fell silent for a moment, absently twirling the straw in her iced coffee. She took a sip, then looked up at Xander again. "Who is it?" she asked.

Xander gripped his seat with one hand, suddenly very uncomfortable. His friends had accepted his and Willow's and Tara's relationship easily enough. But how was Anya going to react?

His first instinct was to tell her that it was none of her business and avoid the problem entirely. But he quickly decided that he couldn't do that. Anya had come back to Sunnydale for him, so the least he could do was be open and honest with her about why they couldn't be together. Besides, even if he didn't tell her about Willow and Tara, she could find out easily enough anyway; almost everyone he worked with knew that he was in a triad, even if they didn't know much about Tara or Willow beyond what they looked like.

So it was best to tell her himself. He owed her that much, at least.

"I'm with Willow and Tara," he said. "I've been with them for a few months now."

Anya blinked.

"Willow... *and* Tara?" She stared at him in disbelief.

Xander met her eyes. "Yeah. We're living together."

"Is this one of those jokes of yours that I never seem to understand?" Anya demanded.

Xander shook his head. "No. No, I'm serious."

"Because this is a little hard to believe," Anya said.

"I know," Xander replied. "Sometimes I can hardly believe it myself. But it's true."

"You're in a relationship with Willow and Tara. Both of them."

"Yeah. I am." Xander had to smile as he said that; he'd found that even just thinking about his relationship in passing was enough to make him happy.

"But.... They're lesbians." Now Anya just looked confused. "Have you been having sex with them?"

Xander held back a sigh. Anya was as blunt and to the point as ever. "Yes," he said.

"With both of them."

Xander nodded.

"At the same time?" Anya looked as if she still couldn't quite believe what he was telling her.

"Look, I'm not going to give you the intimate details of our sex lives," Xander said. "Do you remember how we used to talk about boundaries? Well, this is one you need to respect."

Anya sighed. "Fine," she said. "But at least tell me one thing. This thing you have with Willow and Tara.... Is it serious? I mean, is this a long-term thing? Because if this is just about you three having sex together for a while, I can wait."

Seeing the look on Anya's face as she spoke, Xander couldn't help feeling a little sympathy for her. He'd been in the position she was in now, after all. "Yeah, this is a long-term thing," he said, keeping his tone gentle. "At least, I hope it is. We're happy together."

Anya gave a half-hearted smile. "Well, I suppose you deserve to be happy." She paused for a moment, a thoughtful look passing over her face. "You know, this is new for me," she continued. "Wishing a man happiness. Usually it's been all about the pain and the screaming, terrible vengeance."

Xander chuckled. "See? That means you're growing as a person."

Anya smiled, but he could tell that it was forced. She took another sip of her coffee and turned toward the window, watching the people walking by outside for a moment before speaking again. "Still, I feel I should tell you..." she said, turning to face him again and fixing him with a serious look. "In my time as a vengeance demon, I ran across a few relationships like yours. They don't usually work."

"Well, this works for us," Xander said. Still, he knew that Anya was right. There was a reason that three-way relationships weren't very common, after all. He'd thought about this a lot in the time he'd been with Tara and Willow, about whether they'd be able to make their relationship work. And although he did still worry about it sometimes, the truth was that he was starting to get more comfortable with the idea. Or at least, he didn't think there was any point in worrying himself sick about it. Granted, he had a history of screwing up relationships, but all he could do was give it his best. The rest would have to take care of itself.

"Anyway," he said, trying to gently change the subject, "what are your plans? Are you going to stay in Sunnydale?"

"I think so," Anya replied. "I'm almost out of money, which means I'll need to find some sort of - what do you call it? 'Gainful employment.'"

Xander paused briefly before replying. He *really* hoped that he wasn't going to regret what he was about to do, but.... "Well, Giles owns the Magic Box now," he said. "And the cashier he had working for him just quit a few days ago, so he's been looking for a new one."

"Really? Perhaps I'll ask him about working there," Anya said. "Do you think he'd hire me?"

"I don't see why not," Xander said. "You know a lot about the kind of stuff they sell there, don't you?"

"That's true," Anya said. "When I was there earlier, I noticed that the conjuring powder was priced much too high. I wonder where Giles is getting it? Because I might be able to...."

Xander was distracted by the sound of the door opening, and he looked up to see Willow and Tara enter the coffee shop. He waved to them, catching their attention, and stood up as they approached the table. Willow frowned when she saw Anya, and Xander could tell from her posture that she wasn't happy. Tara seemed more at ease, though he could see a touch of concern in her eyes, too.

"Hi... honeys," he said, giving first Tara, then Willow, a hug and a quick kiss. When he pulled away from Willow, she held on to his arm, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw her take Tara's hand with her other hand.

"Hello, Anya," Willow said, her tone cool if not exactly hostile. "What are you doing here?"

"Hello Willow, Tara," Anya replied, totally oblivious to Willow's reaction to seeing her. "I was back in town, so I thought I'd come see Xander. I wanted to see if he was willing to resume our relationship, but he told me that you two are giving him orgasms now."

Willow's eyes widened with shock, and her grip on Xander's arm tightened. Xander knew her well enough to know that she was on the verge of giving an angry reply, but then she seemed to think better of it. Instead, she drew herself up to stand a little taller. "That's right, we are," she said defiantly. "Do you have a problem with that?"

Anya shook her head quickly. "No," she said. "No, no problem at all."

Xander couldn't tell, but she might have been a little taken aback by Willow's reaction. He certainly hadn't expected it, and from the look on Tara's face, he could tell that she hadn't, either. Willow had been trying to get more comfortable about being open about their relationship, but this....

"So, we should probably get going," Xander said, trying to head off any unpleasantness. Maybe there was nothing to worry about, but better safe than sorry. "Anya, I guess I'll see you around."

There was a touch of something in Anya's eyes - regret, maybe? - as she looked back at him. "Yes. I'll... see you around." She held his gaze for a moment, and Xander felt like there was something more he should say, but he honestly had no idea what it was, so he just gave her a tight smile and turned for the door.

"It was, um... nice to see you again," Tara said, nodding toward Anya as she and Willow fell in step beside him. When they reached the door, Xander held it open for them, and they exited the coffee shop together. Once they were outside, he stepped to one side of the sidewalk and turned to face his girls.

"I'm sorry, but she just showed up out of the blue," he said. "I had no idea...."

"Why don't we wait until we get home to talk about this?" Tara said gently, interrupting him.

Xander nodded. The sidewalk wasn't exactly crowded, but this still wasn't the place for this conversation. It was better to wait until they got home, even though Willow still looked a little upset and he wanted to reassure her as quickly as possible.

"Okay," he said. "Let's go home."

They turned and headed down the sidewalk together, making the short walk to his car in silence.

****

Willow broke the uncomfortable silence as soon as they got home.

"What was Anya doing there?" she demanded as they walked into their apartment. "And did I hear her right? She came back to Sunnydale to get you back?"

After Tara had passed through the door, Xander closed it behind her and stepped into the living room. "Well, can you blame her?" he said. "This is the Xan-man we're talking about, here."

Willow glared at him, and Xander chuckled nervously. "Okay, not the best time to be making jokes. Look, like I said, she just showed up out of the blue. I'm sorry you had to walk in on us like that, with no warning, but I didn't know she was coming. And when she asked about getting back together, I had to tell her about us, I hope you understand...."

Willow was brought up short when she realized that Xander was starting to babble. She knew that he only did that when he was really anxious about something. Abruptly, she realized how she'd been acting, and all her anger drained away, only to be quickly replaced by guilt.

She stepped forward and hugged Xander, cutting him off in mid sentence. "I'm sorry," she said. Tara joined their embrace, and Xander wrapped his arms around them, holding them close, a look of confusion and not a little relief on his face.

"I'm sorry," Willow repeated after a moment's silence. "I'm just really emotional today." She sighed. "What with that nightmare this morning...." Even though Tara was alive and perfectly fine and Willow had been with her all day, the memory of Tara dying in her arms in her nightmare was still hard to bear. Willow shivered, and Xander held her a little tighter.

"Hey, it's okay," he said. "Really."

"Yeah," Tara said, reaching over with one hand to rub her back. "It's okay, honey. We understand."

Willow sighed again. However she was feeling, it was no excuse for her to treat Xander so badly. He hadn't done anything wrong, after all. Guilt welled up in her again, and her eyes started to water. She blinked rapidly to clear them - she was *not* going to cry.

"Why don't we sit down?" Xander said.

"Sure," Tara said. Willow nodded, and they walked over to the couch together. She sat down next to Xander, resting her head on his shoulder, and Tara sat down at his other side, snuggling against him. She reached out and squeezed Willow's hand, and Willow held on to her hand, grateful for the gesture of support.

"So, are you all right?" Xander asked, and Willow smiled as he kissed her forehead.

"Yeah," she said. "It's just, when I saw you with Anya.... Well, for a second I was afraid I was going to lose you."

"Yeah?" Xander said. He turned toward Tara. "And what about you?"

"Well.... I was a little worried, too. I mean, just for a second," Tara confessed. "I know you had real feelings for her."

"Well, let me tell you," Xander said, in a tone as earnest as any Willow had ever heard him use. "You don't ever have to worry about that. I'm not going to leave you two. I mean, yeah - when I was with Anya, I felt something for her. But it was *nothing* compared to what I feel for the two of you." He turned to look Willow in the eye as he finished. "Really."

Willow had no doubt that he was telling the truth. She could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice. And honestly, she'd never really doubted him. It was just that the shock of seeing Anya, combined with her nightmare earlier, had thrown her for a loop.

She sighed. "Well, I feel pretty silly now," she said.

"Hey, it's okay," Xander said. "Don't worry about it." He gave her a reassuring smile, and she smiled back at him, relaxing against him as she felt some of the stress and tension that had tied her in knots ever since she'd seen Xander talking with Anya finally leave her body.

"So, what was it like?" Tara asked. "Seeing Anya again."

Xander considered the question for a moment. "It was.... I don't know," he said. "I really had no idea what to say to her. We had problems when we were together, even before we broke up, and I always sort of felt like it was my fault."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Xander," Willow said. "She *was* pretty hard to get along with."

"Yeah, but we did okay for a while." Xander shrugged. "It was always tough, with her. For whatever reason." He shook his head. "I guess it's pointless to wonder about it. What's done is done.

"But I do know one thing. It's not tough with you. With Anya, it was like, there was always friction, you know? Pieces breaking off. Maybe we eventually would have fit together, but I don't think it would have ever been really comfortable. But with you two, I just... fit." He chuckled. "That probably sounds lame, but I don't know how to put it any better than that."

Willow's only reply was to sit up and kiss him deeply, and when she was finished, she watched as Tara did the same. Xander could be so sweet sometimes, and he didn't even seem to realize it. It was one of the things Willow loved so much about him.

When Xander and Tara broke their kiss, Xander chuckled. "Okay, I'm guessing from your reactions? Not lame."

Willow and Tara both laughed. "Not in the slightest," Tara said.

"Well, just remember that the next time I stick my foot in my mouth, okay?" Xander said with a grin.

"Okay," Willow replied, still giggling. "You have one get-out-of-foot-free card." She leaned forward to kiss Tara, then snuggled up against Xander again.

"Well, I'm glad that's over with," Willow said. "And I hope this doesn't sound too nasty or anything, but I'm glad Anya's gone."

Xander cleared his throat nervously. "Um, yeah," he said. "About that...."

END CHAPTER 10