Lost Memories
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Het - Male/Female › Spike(William)/Willow
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
38
Views:
2,632
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
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Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Het - Male/Female › Spike(William)/Willow
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
38
Views:
2,632
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, nor do I profit in any way from the writing of this story.
Deciding
She was still with Kennedy, and apparently they were happy. He never would have expected that. Kennedy just wasn’t Willow’s type. He had to laugh at that, because if Kennedy wasn’t Willow’s type, then neither was he. Kennedy was like a female version of himself. Maybe that’s why he didn’t like the chit, too much alike and all that rot. Maybe that’s why Willow had started seeing Kennedy, maybe she was subconsciously dating him?
That was a brain puzzler for another time, right now he had to decide where that left him. He was real again, solid as they come, but he hadn’t yet gone looking for her. Before it was because he didn’t know where she was. Now though, since Andrew’s visit, he knew exactly where she was. Well, not exactly, but close enough that he could find her easily.
Brazil, it’d been a long time since he’d been there. Shouldn’t be hard to locate a fair skinned red head in Rio or Sao Paulo, if you knew the right people and questions to ask. He did, he always did, no matter where he was. So, finding her was no longer the problem, that part would be easy. The issue was deciding how to approach her once he was there. Should he just go straight in for the kiss? Should he romance her a little first? They hadn't really gotten to do that the first time. She deserved to be wooed a little. For her it could be like starting from the very beginning again. He would have the chance to do it right, well, right up to the point were he kissed her and she went all black eyed on him for lying to her. Yeah, not such a good idea. Straight in for the kiss it was then.
With that decided, all he had to do was go. He could be there in under 24 hours. Could very well be in her bed, in her arms, drowning in her warmth by this time tomorrow. That is if she didn't get all pissy about him doing what she'd asked him not to. Surely she wouldn't, really the only reason she'd requested secrecy in the first place had been because of Tara. Since that was now a non-issue she shouldn't have a problem with him showing up and shoving her memories back into her head via his tongue, right?
But, Andrew had been gone for several days, and still he hadn’t gone looking for her. Why? He should. He should pack up what little he had that actually belonged to him, and hunt her down. That had been the plan. But, what if she really was happy with Kennedy? The last time he’d gotten in between her and her girl it hadn’t turned out so well for them. He’d just buggered up her life as well as his own. He’d screwed everything up so bad that she’d had to force herself to forget him.
He couldn’t handle that kind of rejection again, and if she was really happy, well, he didn’t want to mess that up. He realized that he was willing to give her up forever if it meant she could be happy. Her happiness was more important to him than his own, it was a strange feeling. When she’d cast that spell he’d pretty much demanded the loophole, wanted it so that he didn’t have to give her up completely. Now though? Well, if she needed to forget him and be with someone else, then he’d let her have what she wanted and not intrude.
God but he missed her so much. Maybe he could find her, just let her know that he was back, talk to her for a little while, find out if she was really living the life she wanted. No, he’d be too tempted and Andrew said they were all doing well. Obviously they didn’t need him, they were doing just fine on their own, and why shouldn’t they? Hadn’t they gotten along just fine before he joined them? Survivors, the lot of them. The world could crumble tomorrow and they’d stand united till the end.
They’d loved and lost and still come out on top. They’d been kicked and gotten right back up. The bloody Scoobies were a force to be reckoned with, and with a shake of his head he realized he envied them. He also realized that he missed them and not just because of Willow, he missed them all. He’d been part of their fold once, and though there had been reluctance on both ends, he’d never felt more like he belonged.
Maybe instead of just showing up at her doorstep he’d sit down soon and give them each a ring. He’d have to start with Andrew since he didn’t have any of the other’s numbers. Yeah, he’d do that soon, just not right now, not today. He wanted to be their champion for just a little while longer.
That was a brain puzzler for another time, right now he had to decide where that left him. He was real again, solid as they come, but he hadn’t yet gone looking for her. Before it was because he didn’t know where she was. Now though, since Andrew’s visit, he knew exactly where she was. Well, not exactly, but close enough that he could find her easily.
Brazil, it’d been a long time since he’d been there. Shouldn’t be hard to locate a fair skinned red head in Rio or Sao Paulo, if you knew the right people and questions to ask. He did, he always did, no matter where he was. So, finding her was no longer the problem, that part would be easy. The issue was deciding how to approach her once he was there. Should he just go straight in for the kiss? Should he romance her a little first? They hadn't really gotten to do that the first time. She deserved to be wooed a little. For her it could be like starting from the very beginning again. He would have the chance to do it right, well, right up to the point were he kissed her and she went all black eyed on him for lying to her. Yeah, not such a good idea. Straight in for the kiss it was then.
With that decided, all he had to do was go. He could be there in under 24 hours. Could very well be in her bed, in her arms, drowning in her warmth by this time tomorrow. That is if she didn't get all pissy about him doing what she'd asked him not to. Surely she wouldn't, really the only reason she'd requested secrecy in the first place had been because of Tara. Since that was now a non-issue she shouldn't have a problem with him showing up and shoving her memories back into her head via his tongue, right?
But, Andrew had been gone for several days, and still he hadn’t gone looking for her. Why? He should. He should pack up what little he had that actually belonged to him, and hunt her down. That had been the plan. But, what if she really was happy with Kennedy? The last time he’d gotten in between her and her girl it hadn’t turned out so well for them. He’d just buggered up her life as well as his own. He’d screwed everything up so bad that she’d had to force herself to forget him.
He couldn’t handle that kind of rejection again, and if she was really happy, well, he didn’t want to mess that up. He realized that he was willing to give her up forever if it meant she could be happy. Her happiness was more important to him than his own, it was a strange feeling. When she’d cast that spell he’d pretty much demanded the loophole, wanted it so that he didn’t have to give her up completely. Now though? Well, if she needed to forget him and be with someone else, then he’d let her have what she wanted and not intrude.
God but he missed her so much. Maybe he could find her, just let her know that he was back, talk to her for a little while, find out if she was really living the life she wanted. No, he’d be too tempted and Andrew said they were all doing well. Obviously they didn’t need him, they were doing just fine on their own, and why shouldn’t they? Hadn’t they gotten along just fine before he joined them? Survivors, the lot of them. The world could crumble tomorrow and they’d stand united till the end.
They’d loved and lost and still come out on top. They’d been kicked and gotten right back up. The bloody Scoobies were a force to be reckoned with, and with a shake of his head he realized he envied them. He also realized that he missed them and not just because of Willow, he missed them all. He’d been part of their fold once, and though there had been reluctance on both ends, he’d never felt more like he belonged.
Maybe instead of just showing up at her doorstep he’d sit down soon and give them each a ring. He’d have to start with Andrew since he didn’t have any of the other’s numbers. Yeah, he’d do that soon, just not right now, not today. He wanted to be their champion for just a little while longer.