Quantum Xander II: In Wake of the Curse
folder
BtVS AU/AR › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
65
Views:
20,543
Reviews:
119
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
BtVS AU/AR › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
65
Views:
20,543
Reviews:
119
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
~PART 28~
Part 28
Spike woke alone. He sat up and fixed his senses on the rest of the apartment. He smelled coffee, tears, and Xander. He wearily got up and pulled on his jeans. He wondered what had set the young man off this time.
After getting himself a cup of coffee, Spike joined Xander in the living room. He noticed right off that he was holding his mate’s - his other mate’s - journal. At least he now knew the reasons for the tears.
“You okay, Xan?”
Xander shook his head and thrust the open book at Spike. The vampire just shrugged and took it. He’d already read it, so he wasn’t too concerned about what he’d see. Then he noticed the poetry. With an audible groan, he read the words.
“Okay, so he wrote poetry. It’s horrible poetry, hardly enough to bring tears to your eyes. Is it?”
Xander laughed at the edge of uncertainty in Spike’s voice and shook his head.
“No. It is awful, but it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever read. He wrote it for me.”
“So why the tears then?”
“Because the dreams are real.”
“Dreams? What dreams?”
Xander took a deep, fortifying breath and told Spike everything. He told him how he could still be with his Spike in his dreams, that somehow, they were still linked even after Spike’s dusting. He told him about the bite - how it had happened in his dream yet was there in the real world, too. Then without making eye contact, he told him about his conversation with his Spike last night. How he said it was only a matter of time before things progressed between them. When he finished, he kept his gaze averted from Spike. He wasn’t sure what the vampire would feel after learning all that.
“Xander.”
When Xander didn’t look at him or even acknowledge that he’d been addressed, Spike spoke again.
“Look at me, love.”
Xander looked up and saw Spike smiling at him. He was instantly relieved that Spike wasn’t angry.
“He’s probably right. Buffy’s moving on with her life, she still needs me, yeah. But not the way I want her to. I love her. I probably always will, but I’m not stupid. I’m not going to keep throwing myself at her. She doesn’t want me; she made that clear. You and me, well we’re friends. Okay, obviously there’s more to it than that, but I don’t want to rush anything. If it’s meant to happen, it will; but as long as we stay friends, that’s enough for me. I don’t want to be a replacement; I know you don’t want that either, but until we’re both sure that that isn’t going to be an issue, I think it best if we spend some time apart.”
Xander nodded. He was both worried and relieved at the same time. Relieved that Spike understood what he was feeling, and worried that he was going to avoid him.
“I’m going to go back to Buffy’s house to stay for awhile. I think it’s the safest solution - I don’t know that I won’t just give in to the demon’s demands to claim you physically, otherwise. You’re too much of a temptation, especially sleeping right next to me.”
“Yeah, I get that.”
Xander chuckled as he noticed that his eyes had barely left Spike’s mouth the entire time he had been talking. He had to restrain himself from kissing him. Time apart sounded like a good idea.
“I’m going to LA. Will you cover for me with the gang?”
Spike looked taken aback and blinked in confusion.
“You don’t have to go away, Xander. I have some self control, you know.”
Xander chuckled.
“It’s not about you - us. Angelus is loose again. I need to go, but I don’t want Buffy involved. She’s dealing with enough as it is. I can restore his soul permanently, but I don’t want to tell her that. After it’s done, it can be his call whether he tells her or not.”
At Spike’s stricken look, Xander rolled his eyes at his own stupidity.
“God. I’m sorry. Jeez I’m such an insensitive asshole sometimes. I didn’t even think about what this would do to you.”
Xander put his arms around Spike and squeezed him tightly. He wanted to take the last two minutes of his life back and reword them. He felt Spike bury his face into his neck and press his lips against the scar. He knew he was reaffirming that he wasn’t alone anymore, that even though he didn’t have Buffy, he still had Xander. He would always have Xander.
Xander lifted Spike’s head and looked at the miserable expression on the vampire’s face. He just looked so hurt and lost and in need of reassurance that Xander didn’t question what he was doing as he leaned in and kissed him.
It was meant to be a reassurance, comfort. It started out that way, but quickly it became a lot more. The kiss deepened and Xander pulled Spike onto him so that the vampire was straddling his lap. Xander’s hands tightened on Spike’s waist as the vampire’s hands fisted into his hair, tugging lightly. They bumped their teeth together in their urgency, trying to climb into the other man’s mouth.
Xander tugged on Spike’s waist, pulling him impossibly closer. The movement sent their cocks sliding over one another’s and they both groaned into the kiss. Before Xander knew what was happening, he was on his back; his boxers somewhere around his knees and Spike was on him.
The blond’s jeans and boxers were rucked down and he was grinding his erection into Xander’s hip. Xander wriggled until he had freed one leg and wrapped it around Spike’s waist. With the added leverage, he pulled Spike down onto him and returned the frantic movements. He was reluctant to end the kiss but he wanted something else more, something that the vampire seemed to instinctively know as he moved away from Xander’s mouth and buried his fangs into his neck.
They both cried out as they came almost at the same instant. Xander let his leg slide bonelessly back to the couch and held Spike to him as the vampire licked over the fresh wound and purred contentedly. They were still lying that way five minutes later when the phone rang. Spike reluctantly rolled off Xander and grabbed the phone. Tossing it to Xander over his shoulder he pulled up his boxers and jeans and headed for the kitchen to get a proper breakfast.
Xander answered the phone.
“Hello? … Oh, okay… Uh sure, no problem. I’ll be there in an hour, gotta shower first… Really? Okay then, give me fifteen minutes… yeah, okay. Bye, Wills.”
Xander hung up the phone and turned to see Spike watching him from the kitchen while sipping on a mug of blood.
“Take it that was Red?”
“Yeah, some girl from Angel’s office called and asked her to come down and re-soul him. She needs a ride, so I guess you won’t have to cover for me after all.”
“You should get ready then, jump in the shower and all that.”
“No time. Gotta grab a few things and go.”
Xander dashed off to the bedroom to dress and get his journal. It was where he had written the permanent soul restoration spell. He also brought his spell book. Just in case.
After packing these things into a bag as well as a change of clothes, he stopped briefly to kiss Spike goodbye and then left. He didn’t see the satisfied smirk on the vampire’s face or he might have rethought his “no time to shower” policy.
Spike woke alone. He sat up and fixed his senses on the rest of the apartment. He smelled coffee, tears, and Xander. He wearily got up and pulled on his jeans. He wondered what had set the young man off this time.
After getting himself a cup of coffee, Spike joined Xander in the living room. He noticed right off that he was holding his mate’s - his other mate’s - journal. At least he now knew the reasons for the tears.
“You okay, Xan?”
Xander shook his head and thrust the open book at Spike. The vampire just shrugged and took it. He’d already read it, so he wasn’t too concerned about what he’d see. Then he noticed the poetry. With an audible groan, he read the words.
“Okay, so he wrote poetry. It’s horrible poetry, hardly enough to bring tears to your eyes. Is it?”
Xander laughed at the edge of uncertainty in Spike’s voice and shook his head.
“No. It is awful, but it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever read. He wrote it for me.”
“So why the tears then?”
“Because the dreams are real.”
“Dreams? What dreams?”
Xander took a deep, fortifying breath and told Spike everything. He told him how he could still be with his Spike in his dreams, that somehow, they were still linked even after Spike’s dusting. He told him about the bite - how it had happened in his dream yet was there in the real world, too. Then without making eye contact, he told him about his conversation with his Spike last night. How he said it was only a matter of time before things progressed between them. When he finished, he kept his gaze averted from Spike. He wasn’t sure what the vampire would feel after learning all that.
“Xander.”
When Xander didn’t look at him or even acknowledge that he’d been addressed, Spike spoke again.
“Look at me, love.”
Xander looked up and saw Spike smiling at him. He was instantly relieved that Spike wasn’t angry.
“He’s probably right. Buffy’s moving on with her life, she still needs me, yeah. But not the way I want her to. I love her. I probably always will, but I’m not stupid. I’m not going to keep throwing myself at her. She doesn’t want me; she made that clear. You and me, well we’re friends. Okay, obviously there’s more to it than that, but I don’t want to rush anything. If it’s meant to happen, it will; but as long as we stay friends, that’s enough for me. I don’t want to be a replacement; I know you don’t want that either, but until we’re both sure that that isn’t going to be an issue, I think it best if we spend some time apart.”
Xander nodded. He was both worried and relieved at the same time. Relieved that Spike understood what he was feeling, and worried that he was going to avoid him.
“I’m going to go back to Buffy’s house to stay for awhile. I think it’s the safest solution - I don’t know that I won’t just give in to the demon’s demands to claim you physically, otherwise. You’re too much of a temptation, especially sleeping right next to me.”
“Yeah, I get that.”
Xander chuckled as he noticed that his eyes had barely left Spike’s mouth the entire time he had been talking. He had to restrain himself from kissing him. Time apart sounded like a good idea.
“I’m going to LA. Will you cover for me with the gang?”
Spike looked taken aback and blinked in confusion.
“You don’t have to go away, Xander. I have some self control, you know.”
Xander chuckled.
“It’s not about you - us. Angelus is loose again. I need to go, but I don’t want Buffy involved. She’s dealing with enough as it is. I can restore his soul permanently, but I don’t want to tell her that. After it’s done, it can be his call whether he tells her or not.”
At Spike’s stricken look, Xander rolled his eyes at his own stupidity.
“God. I’m sorry. Jeez I’m such an insensitive asshole sometimes. I didn’t even think about what this would do to you.”
Xander put his arms around Spike and squeezed him tightly. He wanted to take the last two minutes of his life back and reword them. He felt Spike bury his face into his neck and press his lips against the scar. He knew he was reaffirming that he wasn’t alone anymore, that even though he didn’t have Buffy, he still had Xander. He would always have Xander.
Xander lifted Spike’s head and looked at the miserable expression on the vampire’s face. He just looked so hurt and lost and in need of reassurance that Xander didn’t question what he was doing as he leaned in and kissed him.
It was meant to be a reassurance, comfort. It started out that way, but quickly it became a lot more. The kiss deepened and Xander pulled Spike onto him so that the vampire was straddling his lap. Xander’s hands tightened on Spike’s waist as the vampire’s hands fisted into his hair, tugging lightly. They bumped their teeth together in their urgency, trying to climb into the other man’s mouth.
Xander tugged on Spike’s waist, pulling him impossibly closer. The movement sent their cocks sliding over one another’s and they both groaned into the kiss. Before Xander knew what was happening, he was on his back; his boxers somewhere around his knees and Spike was on him.
The blond’s jeans and boxers were rucked down and he was grinding his erection into Xander’s hip. Xander wriggled until he had freed one leg and wrapped it around Spike’s waist. With the added leverage, he pulled Spike down onto him and returned the frantic movements. He was reluctant to end the kiss but he wanted something else more, something that the vampire seemed to instinctively know as he moved away from Xander’s mouth and buried his fangs into his neck.
They both cried out as they came almost at the same instant. Xander let his leg slide bonelessly back to the couch and held Spike to him as the vampire licked over the fresh wound and purred contentedly. They were still lying that way five minutes later when the phone rang. Spike reluctantly rolled off Xander and grabbed the phone. Tossing it to Xander over his shoulder he pulled up his boxers and jeans and headed for the kitchen to get a proper breakfast.
Xander answered the phone.
“Hello? … Oh, okay… Uh sure, no problem. I’ll be there in an hour, gotta shower first… Really? Okay then, give me fifteen minutes… yeah, okay. Bye, Wills.”
Xander hung up the phone and turned to see Spike watching him from the kitchen while sipping on a mug of blood.
“Take it that was Red?”
“Yeah, some girl from Angel’s office called and asked her to come down and re-soul him. She needs a ride, so I guess you won’t have to cover for me after all.”
“You should get ready then, jump in the shower and all that.”
“No time. Gotta grab a few things and go.”
Xander dashed off to the bedroom to dress and get his journal. It was where he had written the permanent soul restoration spell. He also brought his spell book. Just in case.
After packing these things into a bag as well as a change of clothes, he stopped briefly to kiss Spike goodbye and then left. He didn’t see the satisfied smirk on the vampire’s face or he might have rethought his “no time to shower” policy.