Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me

What the bloody hell is that, Xander?”

His lover gave him an odd look and held up an egg. “Don’t tell me after hours of labor you don’t even recognize your own child, Spike! He looks just like you, he even has your nose! I think I’ll call him Fang.”

Spike looked at Xander and had to grin at the teasing look on his face. “Please just tell me you’re not gonna grow feathers, pet, because that would be too creepy. Vamps might be a kinky bunch but I for one do not go after chickens.”

Xander laughed and headed into the kitchen and Spike followed. Spike couldn’t help but grin in satisfaction at the scalding kiss he’d been given when Xander came in the door from school. Xander was coming along quite nicely in the sex department, and it was getting harder to keep himself from throwing his boy on the floor and just taking him. But while he knew that Xander’s body might be ready for that, his brain would need a bit more time to get used to the idea.

Spike hated to wait, but this was important. Because once he took Xander he knew that he’d never let his boy go.

“…so I tried to point out to Mr. Whitmore that I’m gay and therefore it would be extremely unlikely that I’m going to get someone pregnant. That still didn’t get me out of the stupid project. I think he was just mad because I pointed out that one of the consequences of sex was needing a shower. Well, it is if you do it right. At first he was going to make me pair up with one of the Cordettes but I figured I’d rather be a single parent and got out of that.”

The entire time Xander was talking he was getting out one of the saucepans and filling it up with water and a bit of salt. “So, that’s our little one, eh? And you’re going to boil him to death? Good job, luv, nice bit of torture.”

Xander shrugged. “Think of it as a protective measure, like shots. It’ll hurt the kid but in the long run he’ll be safe from breakage and scrambling so it’s all of the good. And after he’s all cooled off I can draw on him, use a sharpie and give him little baby fangs and a duster.”

Spike walked over and hugged Xander from behind as he carefully dropped his new offspring into the water. “As long as I don’t have to change nappies or feed the thing, I don’t really care what you do. Got plans to patrol tonight, pet?”

Xander shook his head. “Nope, Buffy and Angel are supposed to be out hunting the Gorches. Have you heard of them? Old, deadly yet dumb as a post?”

Spike frowned. “Yeah, pet, they’re kind of famous for going to excess when killing, and you know that coming from me that says a lot.” He squeezed Xander in the middle. “Maybe they’re the ones that've been turning half the Bronze. What do you think?”

Xander frowned and turned in Spike’s arms. “I don’t think so; that would take planning and, from what Giles said, Lyle and Tector couldn’t plan their way out of a paper bag. What kind of name is Tector anyhow?”

“Bollocks.” Spike sighed and pulled Xander closer. “Think I’m going to have to do something that you’re not going to like, pet. There’s a reason those two blokes are here, and there’s a reason there’s more minions running around. Means there’s a Master Vampire trying to take over the Hellmouth and since I’m supposed to be the Master in the area I’m gonna have to take care of it. Can’t have some bloke taking my territory, now can I?”

“What does that mean, Spike?”

“Means I’m gonna have to be seen hunting, and it means I’m gonna have to spend more time in some of the demon hangouts, Willy’s and the like. I can’t protect you if I don’t know what’s going on, luv.”

Xander sighed and Spike could feel his muscles tense up. Spike knew this was hard on his love; the last time he’d had to take off he was killing Xander’s father and Xander knew that. The boy had to be afraid of what would happen this time. But it was something that needed done. He just hated that it put Xander out of his good mood.

“Okay, I get that, just…be careful, all right? I mean, Buffy isn’t doing a lot of patrolling right now--her and Giles are kinda on the outs--but still I don’t want you dead. Deader. Whatever.”

“'Course, pet, I’ll do anything to come home to you safe and sound. You know that, don’t you?”

Despite his somewhat joking tone, Spike meant every word of that promise. He’d hate to hurt Xander by killing his friend but he would do anything to come back to this beautiful boy who loved him, despite knowing what he was.

Xander had pulled away slightly and must have seen the look on his face. He nodded slowly and put his head on Spike’s shoulder. “Okay, I…I get that. Thanks.” He took a deep breath and Spike listened as Xander tried to get his emotions and breathing in check. “We have tonight, though, right? I mean, you’re leaving tomorrow, right?”

“I was thinking I’d leave just before dawn.”

“Then, tonight, will you…I mean... I want to have sex. With you. You know, all the way.”

Spike closed his eyes and tried to control himself, but it was a close thing. Having his lover warn and cuddly in his arms along with the mental pictures he had of Xander spread open and begging for his cock nearly broke him but he managed to rein himself in.

“Xan, luv, there is nothing I want more in this world or any other. It’s just, well, you’re not ready yet, pet. For hell’s sake, you can’t even say it.”

Xander looked so lost and Spike hurried to reassure him. It was so easy to forget that all of Xander’s confidence was so new, and most of it tied to Spike’s presence in his life, even if he didn’t realize it. “Look, pet, the first time, well, it should be special. Candlelight and all that rot. Not just because you’re worried about me, or because we’re both horny. Plenty of other stuff we can do, eh? Don’t get me wrong, Xan. When the time is right I’m going to have that sweet, tight ass of yours, and after that, well, I’m not ever going to let you go. Understand, luv?”

Xander gave him another one of those looks that always made Spike feel as if he had a soul and his human was looking into it. “You know, it’s weird but I get that. I always thought I’d be a typical guy and just, I dunno, jump you or something but I really get that.”

“Good, luv. I don’t want you to think I don’t love you, pet, you just need some more time to…”

“If you say grow up, Spike, I am so going to hurt you. Just so you know.”

“Mature, then?”

“If we’re waiting on maturity, it’ll never happen. You’re over a hundred and twenty and still aren’t mature. For god’s sake, you scream at Katie Couric in the mornings when I get ready for school.”

“She’s more evil than I am, luv. It's just not natural to be that fucking perky in the morning. She’s a demon brainwashing people into wearing Capri pants.”

Xander laughed and Spike found himself being hugged even tighter. “You know, that whole conversation would be scary if I didn’t think that Kathie Lee was evil incarnate. Maybe it’s a conspiracy.”

“Might be.” Spike tipped Xander’s head up and kissed him slowly, trying to put everything he felt for the boy into the kiss. When he pulled away Xander was panting and his eyes were dilated. He smelled oh so sweet, of love and desire and lust and it was getting more difficult to control himself.

So he took a step back and took a deep breath. “So, you gonna be okay while I’m gone, luv?”

Xander went to take the pot containing his temporary child off the stove. “Yeah, I guess. I’ll miss you, though. If…well, if it’s bad you’ll let me know, right?”

“Believe me, pet, if I find something that's scarier than I am, you’ll be the first to know.”

*****

“Ow, ow, ow. And again, OW! I don’t see why you both had to hit me in the same place. And multiple times. Was it not enough that you hit me the first time?”

“Sorry, Xander, you just have a hard head.”

He was standing with Cordelia and Willow, watching as Buffy got into more trouble with her Mom. You’d think the whole being used as a puppet by an ancient parasitic demon thing would have gotten Mrs. Summers off her mad at Buffy but it hadn’t.

And to tell the truth, he didn’t care. He was more than a little mad at Buffy for not calling and warning him that his egg might suck his brains out. Or did one of those flying cell thingies like in that Star Trek episode where Kirk’s nephew is the only one left alive on a colony. She had called Willow, but did she call Xander? Hell, no.

And she was pissed at Giles for being with Ethan and pissed at Xander for encouraging him and pissed at her Mom for being a Mom. Xander sighed. Didn’t she know how lucky she was?

He looked at his friends. Cordelia’s parents only paid attention to her when they wanted her to date one of their business associate’s sons in a political maneuver. Other than that, they threw money and cars and clothes at her and pretty much just wanted her to go away.

Willow’s parents weren’t even that attentive. Unless she showed up with a B on her report card they could go months without even noticing she was alive. Her Dad was in computers and her Mom did…well, he was never sure what she did but she went to different cities and helped organize…groups and clubs and protests and stuff. Either way, they just weren’t there.

Then there was his Mom, who he’d gone back to see once since Spike had killed his Dad. He had been sad to see she was just as drunk alone as she had been with him. He’d been hoping she’d get her life together but it was too late. She didn’t even remember that he’d left home, for fuck’s sake.

Yeah, Buffy’s Mom was strict but she was there. She actually cared if Buffy came in hurt or late and who she was hanging out with and what was going on at school. And instead of being grateful Buffy, didn’t like it. Maybe he could offer her a trade, his Mom for hers.

“You know, I don’t know why she just doesn’t tell her Mom. I mean, it would be easier than lying all the time, wouldn’t it?”

He jumped in surprise and looked at Cordelia. To anyone else she would look…haughty, but to him she looked kind of wistful. Her brain must have been running along the same thoughts.

Willow actually chuckled and she looked sort of sad too. “Do you think Mrs. Summers would believe her? Really? Buffy would get grounded until she was thirty if she was lucky, but more than likely she’d get one of those jackets that tied in the back.”

Xander shoved his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, well, we can’t do anything now. Hey, who’s up for movies? Cause there’s nothing better with demon parasites than a good movie. We can have a marathon with Puppet Masters and Manchurian Candidate and other brainwashing movies; it’ll be fun!”

“Did the blows to the head make you retarded? Because, really, I’d like to know now so I can leave town before your boyfriend comes back and blames me.”

Cordy was looking at him as if he’d grown a second head and he had to remind himself that she wasn’t used to the silly Xander anymore, even though Willow had just smiled at his babble.

This whole having different personalities for different people sucked big time.

Then Willow got one of those hurt looks on her face and turned to Cordelia. “<>You<> know Xander’s boyfriend?! He won’t tell me a thing other than he’s older and not nice! I’ll give you a dozen cookies if you spill!”

Oh, gods. Cordy was looking at him and he just knew in her head he was being compared to a plate of chocolaty goodness. Add in the fact that it was getting near a certain time of month, and wasn’t it scary that he knew that, Xander just knew he was going to lose out.

He spotted Giles walking toward him and pounced. “Giles!! You okay? No lasting effects or anything? Need a ride home? I’ve got a car. It's not my car, it’s a rental but still, I have wheels and I’m not afraid to drive them! It, whatever.”

His little speech ran down as Willow gave him a somewhat dirty look and Giles acted like he had a second head. Well, on his shoulders.

He so needed to practice diverting other's attention more often.

“Xander, I think it’s time you told me a little more about your boyfriend. After all, I have been your best friend for years.”

Willow latched onto one of his arms and even Giles looked a little anticipatory, like he was looking forward to seeing Xander in the hot seat for once.

He was in so much trouble.

*****