Truth Denied
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
64
Views:
22,790
Reviews:
75
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
64
Views:
22,790
Reviews:
75
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 27/?
Pairings: Spander (eventually)
Appropriate Ratings: NC17 overall but this chapter... PG13
Warnings: Near death, a little fear, you'll see.
Beta: LJ User purpledodah and LJ User Laazikaat
X-posted to: -Complete list on my LJ-
Comments keep my muse well fed.
Xander was watching TV in the living room while Spike eyed the open oven. It was covered with baked on filth on the inside, no one seemed to have cleaned it in some time. He held up a can of Mr. Muscle, an oven cleaner, and Spike had enjoyed the name, more manly than some of those out there. And besides, he may be wiry, but he’d take any aid he could get at such a grisly task. He’d read the instructions carefully and had even opened all the windows, first time and all, he was going to do it right!
He smiled to himself and snapped thick yellow rubber gloves on and made sure the nozzle was aimed in the right direction. He felt a tickle in the back of his throat and coughed softly as the foam coated the walls of the oven. He covered his face with the back of his hand, his breathing suddenly becoming labored. “Xan…” he wheezed out and hoped the human could hear him.
~*~
Xander was busy channel flipping. He heard a soft thudding coming from the kitchen, and flipped the TV off, listening to see if Spike needed help and when he heard his wheezed name, immediately the worst came to mind, Greg had broken in and instead of taunting Spike, he’d just killed him. He couldn’t push that image out of his mind as he ran through the apartment to the kitchen, sliding on the wood floors. The sight that greeted him was curious.
Spike was bent over the door of the oven, struggling to breathe until he fell on his back, unconscious. Xander ran over to Spike, screaming his name. The boy checked his pulse and still felt it, it was starting to fade as Spike’s chest seemed to refuse to inflate and feed his lungs oxygen. He scrabbled for the phone, dialing frantically for emergency services. He was greeted with a cool, calm, voice.
“Fire, police or ambulance?” The operator asked.
Xander screamed into the phone, “My friend can’t breathe, send an ambulance, he just fell over, please please help him, send someone, please!”
“Sir, have you tried CPR?” The operator asked.
“Yeah, but I must be doing it wrong or something because his chest never moved and I couldn’t get any air down his throat, it just felt like I couldn’t get through, please you have to send help, his lips are starting to turn blue! PLEASE!” Xander babbled then screamed into the phone as Spike lay there, unconscious.
“Sir the ambulance has already been dispatched, they’ll be at the front door to your apartment in no time.” The operator tried to sooth him with his voice.
“No! They’ll never find it, it’s hidden. Go to the back of the building, I’ll…. I’ll be there, just send someone quick!”
Things happened in a whirlwind, Xander running down the stairs, hearing the sirens then directing the medics. One of them examined Spike and tried to ask questions of Xander, but the boy didn’t hear them, he was awash with terror that Spike was going to leave him, he looked to be in shock. The EMT slammed something into Spike’s thigh, and the blond gasped in a breath, still unconscious.
“I think we got here in time, you did the right thing, why don’t you ride in the bus with us? Make sure you’re alright too.” He looked Xander over worriedly. The boy was silent and just standing out of the way of everything, breathing in rhythm to Spike without even realizing it. The EMT looked at the boy’s glazed eyes and nodded to his partner. Both residents were taken from the apartment, to run screaming through the streets in an ambulance rushing, rushing to save Spike, and Xander just stared dumbly at Spike, still breathing in rhythm.
Inside Xander screamed, and pulled his hair, inside he was freaking out, terrified he was about to lose Spike forever. He was a vampire before! Nothing could have stopped him, and now? Now? Now something Greg did is going to kill him. It’s got to be Greg, no one else would want Spike dead. Unless it was for me? Maybe I was the target of this attack? Could this be my fault? Could this be some magic going hinky? We’re not near a hell mouth, but that doesn’t discredit it completely! Oh god Spike, Spike, please pull through, please fight Spike, they got you breathing, now you just gotta keep breathing, oh god Spike, please keep breathing!
~*~
Xander paced in the waiting room, throwing prayers to whatever God would answer them to please save his newly human friend! It wasn’t time for him to go! Not now! Not before… He never regretted it more than in those anguishing hours. He knew it would never be returned, but maybe if he’d said something, he wouldn’t feel so bad now, without that regret maybe he’d feel a little less like he was the heel of the earth, constantly taking the shittiest piece of the pie. He hated his life!
He couldn’t tell the guy he liked that he liked him because he couldn’t ever be with a guy, not that way, no way. He wished he could, he hated his father with a venom, taking away that huge piece of his life just… out. He took it out, and he put nothing in its place to replace it and now Xander was left hollow and empty inside, and nothing ever seemed to fill it just right.
He’d come close with Anya, but in the end, he knew that the being gay thing would always stand between them, he couldn’t deny it forever. He thought Buffy might fit it, she was strong like a big burly man, he could possibly have pretended with her. But all in all, even Cordelia, he’d just been trying to grasp at the teenage norm. To stay away from whatever made him… him. He hid from all the men he was attracted to, using stiff retorts and biting comments to shield himself from trying anything, no way someone could like you if they thought you hated their guts, right?
He was still pacing, lost in his thoughts, when a doctor stopped him. “You’re the one that called it in? Are you family of some sort?”
Xander blinked back tears, thinking, was he family? “Of a sort,” he managed to mumble out.
The doctor smiled and patted his arm. “Don’t worry, our hospital sees same sex relationships as real relationships. Your friend suffered an allergic reaction to some oven cleaner he was using. We gave him epinephrine and some other drugs, he’ll be fine. You saved his life, if you’d been one minute off your friend wouldn’t have survived without severe brain damage. He’s got his own room for now, and you can go in to see him. I’ll leave a note at the desk telling them you’re family so regular visiting hours won’t apply to you.”
Xander stared, finally remembering to breathe when the doctor finished. He gasped in a breath and started sobbing uncontrollably, his hand on the doctor’s shoulder. He finally tapered off and sniffled, looking at the doctor abashedly. “No one needs to know about this, right?” He pleaded with his eyes.
The doctor smiled and patted his arm, “I’m a doctor, I know how to keep a secret. You can go into your friends room now, he’s sleeping, but you can see him, try not to wake him.” He smiled again and wandered off, a few files under his arm.
Xander collapsed into a chair, and ran his hands through his hair, panting. Spike was alright, he was going to be fine, it was an allergy and Xander and heard Spike in time, it was okay. He cried a little more, wiping at his moist eyes with the heels of his hands, and breathed deeply, making his way to Spike’s room.
Appropriate Ratings: NC17 overall but this chapter... PG13
Warnings: Near death, a little fear, you'll see.
Beta: LJ User purpledodah and LJ User Laazikaat
X-posted to: -Complete list on my LJ-
Comments keep my muse well fed.
Xander was watching TV in the living room while Spike eyed the open oven. It was covered with baked on filth on the inside, no one seemed to have cleaned it in some time. He held up a can of Mr. Muscle, an oven cleaner, and Spike had enjoyed the name, more manly than some of those out there. And besides, he may be wiry, but he’d take any aid he could get at such a grisly task. He’d read the instructions carefully and had even opened all the windows, first time and all, he was going to do it right!
He smiled to himself and snapped thick yellow rubber gloves on and made sure the nozzle was aimed in the right direction. He felt a tickle in the back of his throat and coughed softly as the foam coated the walls of the oven. He covered his face with the back of his hand, his breathing suddenly becoming labored. “Xan…” he wheezed out and hoped the human could hear him.
Xander was busy channel flipping. He heard a soft thudding coming from the kitchen, and flipped the TV off, listening to see if Spike needed help and when he heard his wheezed name, immediately the worst came to mind, Greg had broken in and instead of taunting Spike, he’d just killed him. He couldn’t push that image out of his mind as he ran through the apartment to the kitchen, sliding on the wood floors. The sight that greeted him was curious.
Spike was bent over the door of the oven, struggling to breathe until he fell on his back, unconscious. Xander ran over to Spike, screaming his name. The boy checked his pulse and still felt it, it was starting to fade as Spike’s chest seemed to refuse to inflate and feed his lungs oxygen. He scrabbled for the phone, dialing frantically for emergency services. He was greeted with a cool, calm, voice.
“Fire, police or ambulance?” The operator asked.
Xander screamed into the phone, “My friend can’t breathe, send an ambulance, he just fell over, please please help him, send someone, please!”
“Sir, have you tried CPR?” The operator asked.
“Yeah, but I must be doing it wrong or something because his chest never moved and I couldn’t get any air down his throat, it just felt like I couldn’t get through, please you have to send help, his lips are starting to turn blue! PLEASE!” Xander babbled then screamed into the phone as Spike lay there, unconscious.
“Sir the ambulance has already been dispatched, they’ll be at the front door to your apartment in no time.” The operator tried to sooth him with his voice.
“No! They’ll never find it, it’s hidden. Go to the back of the building, I’ll…. I’ll be there, just send someone quick!”
Things happened in a whirlwind, Xander running down the stairs, hearing the sirens then directing the medics. One of them examined Spike and tried to ask questions of Xander, but the boy didn’t hear them, he was awash with terror that Spike was going to leave him, he looked to be in shock. The EMT slammed something into Spike’s thigh, and the blond gasped in a breath, still unconscious.
“I think we got here in time, you did the right thing, why don’t you ride in the bus with us? Make sure you’re alright too.” He looked Xander over worriedly. The boy was silent and just standing out of the way of everything, breathing in rhythm to Spike without even realizing it. The EMT looked at the boy’s glazed eyes and nodded to his partner. Both residents were taken from the apartment, to run screaming through the streets in an ambulance rushing, rushing to save Spike, and Xander just stared dumbly at Spike, still breathing in rhythm.
Inside Xander screamed, and pulled his hair, inside he was freaking out, terrified he was about to lose Spike forever. He was a vampire before! Nothing could have stopped him, and now? Now? Now something Greg did is going to kill him. It’s got to be Greg, no one else would want Spike dead. Unless it was for me? Maybe I was the target of this attack? Could this be my fault? Could this be some magic going hinky? We’re not near a hell mouth, but that doesn’t discredit it completely! Oh god Spike, Spike, please pull through, please fight Spike, they got you breathing, now you just gotta keep breathing, oh god Spike, please keep breathing!
Xander paced in the waiting room, throwing prayers to whatever God would answer them to please save his newly human friend! It wasn’t time for him to go! Not now! Not before… He never regretted it more than in those anguishing hours. He knew it would never be returned, but maybe if he’d said something, he wouldn’t feel so bad now, without that regret maybe he’d feel a little less like he was the heel of the earth, constantly taking the shittiest piece of the pie. He hated his life!
He couldn’t tell the guy he liked that he liked him because he couldn’t ever be with a guy, not that way, no way. He wished he could, he hated his father with a venom, taking away that huge piece of his life just… out. He took it out, and he put nothing in its place to replace it and now Xander was left hollow and empty inside, and nothing ever seemed to fill it just right.
He’d come close with Anya, but in the end, he knew that the being gay thing would always stand between them, he couldn’t deny it forever. He thought Buffy might fit it, she was strong like a big burly man, he could possibly have pretended with her. But all in all, even Cordelia, he’d just been trying to grasp at the teenage norm. To stay away from whatever made him… him. He hid from all the men he was attracted to, using stiff retorts and biting comments to shield himself from trying anything, no way someone could like you if they thought you hated their guts, right?
He was still pacing, lost in his thoughts, when a doctor stopped him. “You’re the one that called it in? Are you family of some sort?”
Xander blinked back tears, thinking, was he family? “Of a sort,” he managed to mumble out.
The doctor smiled and patted his arm. “Don’t worry, our hospital sees same sex relationships as real relationships. Your friend suffered an allergic reaction to some oven cleaner he was using. We gave him epinephrine and some other drugs, he’ll be fine. You saved his life, if you’d been one minute off your friend wouldn’t have survived without severe brain damage. He’s got his own room for now, and you can go in to see him. I’ll leave a note at the desk telling them you’re family so regular visiting hours won’t apply to you.”
Xander stared, finally remembering to breathe when the doctor finished. He gasped in a breath and started sobbing uncontrollably, his hand on the doctor’s shoulder. He finally tapered off and sniffled, looking at the doctor abashedly. “No one needs to know about this, right?” He pleaded with his eyes.
The doctor smiled and patted his arm, “I’m a doctor, I know how to keep a secret. You can go into your friends room now, he’s sleeping, but you can see him, try not to wake him.” He smiled again and wandered off, a few files under his arm.
Xander collapsed into a chair, and ran his hands through his hair, panting. Spike was alright, he was going to be fine, it was an allergy and Xander and heard Spike in time, it was okay. He cried a little more, wiping at his moist eyes with the heels of his hands, and breathed deeply, making his way to Spike’s room.