Roomies

Disclaimer: The characters of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel: the Series Universes (Angel, Cordelia, Spike, Xander, Doyle, etc…) are the creation of Joss Whedon and are, therefore, the property of him, Mutant Enemy (Grr, Arg), and 20th Century Fox (and all other affiliated parties). No money is gained from this work as it is created purely for the enjoyment of others. Please do not sue.

AN: Constructive criticism and friendly fedback are always appreciated. Flames will be used to warm my toes.


~Part 27: The Man of the Stag-ette Party~


Spike bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited for Angel to lock up the car. His eyes rested momentarily on Doyle who was already making his way towards the front entrance of the restaurant. With a shrug, Spike turned back to Angel. He had an impatient quip on the tip of his tongue but it was never verbalized as the older vampire suddenly grabbed him around the waist and used his tongue to invade Spike’s mouth.

After an all too short battle of tongues and grinding of hips, the two vampires broke apart both panting needlessly with lust. Spike growled in the back of his throat and plastered himself along Angel’s side as they began walking after Doyle. He trailed his fingers down Angel’s chest and muttered, “This blessing bloody well better not take all sodding night. I wanna go home and shag.”

Angel just chuckled and broke away from Spike to fall into step with the ‘breed in a show of moral support. He entered the restaurant just as Richard was introducing Doyle to the room.

When the demon caught sight of Angel, he immediately seemed uncomfortable. “Angel? Oh, hey, this is a surprise.”

Angel shrugged, paying more attention to Doyle who looked as though he wanted to crawl into a hole and die. “I thought I’d check out the place,” he said cryptically.

“I asked ‘im ta come,” Doyle said almost defensively. Just then, Spike wandered into the room, picked up a random shiny item, and pocketed it. “And Spike’s attached ta Angel.”

In a less defiant tone, Doyle said, “I ‘ope tha’s okay.”

Spike wandered across the room and zeroed in on a couple of guys that looked alike. They were seated, quite snugly, in a corner booth talking quietly into each other’s ears. As the Richard bloke made a big scene about Doyle being there the gravely sound of a mostly dead language caught Spike’s attention.

The smaller, darker haired man of the two said conversationally, “Indeta bohuda menaka tant.”

The larger man simply replied, “Hlorwoip canano.”

Surprised confusion and the sound of incredulousness colored the first man’s voice as he repeated stupidly, “Hlorwoip?”

“Duh.”

Spike chuckled and the two of them looked up at him. The smaller man had just put something into his mouth and grinned around in as the other man just leveled him with an unreadable expression.

Curling his tongue around bared teeth, Spike openly ran his eyes over what the two—obviously related men—had to offer. He slowly ran a hand down his stomach and ended up with his fingers tucked under the waistband of his pants and his thumb hooked over the edge. He racked his brain for the perfect phrase before purring out huskily, “Hlorwoip un abea, ennia oto mang ganna.”

He added a full body shiver as he let his eyes fall on Doyle, inserting as much sensuality into the move as he could muster. If the ‘breed were to ever ask what it was about later, Spike wouldn’t give up that information under pain of torture via Barney and Friends. That thought caused another full body shiver and Spike looked back at the two men in time to see the one with food in his mouth inhale and immediately start coughing and gagging.

~~~

Xander gobbled down a mouthful of the sinfully delicious chocolate thing that someone had been nice enough to put on a plate right in front of him before continuing with his story. “Anyways, Willow pulls out a pencil and says in a voice that I will never forget: ‘Come and get it big boy.’ I just about killed myself laughing. I don’t think I’d ever seen her do something like that before. Next thing I know, her and Oz are playing tonsil hockey like the world is going to end.”

All the ladies are wide eyed. Xander could just picture some of the many thoughts going through their minds. Immediately, he dived into another story, this out about the time that he had wolf-sat Oz and had realized at one point during the night that the usually docile creature had been incredibly horny.

At the edges of his perception, he could hear Cordelia and Harry giggling over some girlish thing or another. The two of them were bonding over the condiments table like they had known each other for years.

“It was a nightmare,” Harry stated as she plucked one of the kabobs and put it one her plate. After a moment, she relented and said, “Okay, well maybe not at first. Initially, I really liked the way he took charge.”

Xander tuned out Cordelia’s response in favor of the image that Harry’s words had painted. In the few weeks that Xander had known Doyle, he just couldn’t picture the man as the take charge kind of person. Of course, Doyle had been very upfront about his feeling towards Xander but other than that, the Irishman seemed like the kind of guy who would let just about anybody walk all over him.

“Well, Xander, are you ready for pornographic pictionary?” Aunt Martha asked him excitedly.

Xander gave her one of his best silly smiles. “So long as you don’t ask me to be your model.”

The look that he received in return made Xander blush right down to his toes. He was about to reply when Cordelia dropped down next to him.

“Oh, you don’t want Xander to model. He gets all girlly about being nude. I swear, I have never met another man so insecure about his body,” the ex-cheerleader stated as she raided Xander’s plate for one of his chocolates.

~~~

With pictionary over, Xander being the winner, the girls were mostly at a loose ends as to what to do next. Xander was reduced to convincing each of the older women to dance with him. He had all of them in hysterics and completely oblivious Harry’s unexpected phone call.

Xander quickly begged a reprieve and wandered over to Cordelia rubbing his neck. “Man, those women are lethal,” he muttered.

“That would be, because they’re demons,” Cordelia stated, her face reflecting worry.

“Rusty, considering it’s a dead demonic language,” Harry was saying.

“What’s going on?” Xander asked.

Harry put her hand over the mouth piece of the phone and said, “Angel heard one of the guys speaking in Aratuscan. He wants me to do a translation. Could you grab me a pen and some paper?”

Cordelia nodded and went off to grab the requested items while Xander asked, “Doesn’t Spike know that language. I could have sworn I heard him bragging about it.”

Harry frowned and relayed the question. After a moment’s pause she shook her head and said, “Angel says that Spike only picked up a few phrases. None of which have anything to do with ceremonial chants.”

Cordelia came back and handed her both pen and paper. Harry got Angel to repeat the chant and wrote it down. A moment later she closed the phone and handed it back to Cordelia. “Xander, could you keep the ladies busy while me and Cordy work on this, I don’t want them to suspect anything.”

Xander was in the process of nodding when Cordelia interrupted. “I’ll deal with the in-laws. Xander has a knack for weird books; he used to help Giles all the time.”

~~~

Xander kicked the chair again and Spike snarled, “Bloody well stop it!”

“Why should I?” Xander demanded quietly.

Spike eyed him levelly. “I’ll call Richard and tell him that I’ve got a brain to replace the one that he lost.”

Xander went slightly white before shrugging and saying, “I’m not scared of you, Spike. You lost your status of big bad when I caught Brood-boy and you snuggled asleep on the couch.”

Suddenly, Cordelia grabbed Xander by the arm and hauled him to his feet. “Hey, what’s going on?! Cordy!” he protested.

“Give it a rest, Xander,” Cordelia ordered. “Someone needs to go out there and cheer Doyle up. I’ve decided that you’re him, considering you’re the only male here with a heartbeat.”

“Plus, the fact that he wants to jump yer bones might aid in your attempt,” Spike stated.

Xander walked out of the private office and sighed at the sight of Doyle lying on the too small couch. Unsure of what he was supposed to say, he waited until Doyle looked up at him in hopes that he would have enough time to think of something to say.

When Doyle looked up, he still didn’t know what to say so he settled for a something easy. “Hey, Doyle,” he said with a grin.

There was a pause while Doyle stared up at him and Cordelia and the others watched them expectantly. Finally Xander asked, “Are you gonna become some hide in the dark and brood type pining guy full time? ‘Cause Angel’s pretty much got that covered and it just doesn’t suit your character.”

“Hey,” Angel called from where he stood.

Doyle glared at him as well.

Cordelia took a step forward and said, “You know, Angel can get away with it! He’s tall and… And look at the way clothes hang on him.”

Xander grinned at Cordelia’s antics before turning back to Doyle. “Look, the past is over. There’s no changing it. You and Harry didn’t work out but, hey, at least her new stud didn’t get your brain… or her for that matter.”

Angel sighed and called out, “I think you’ve cheered us up enough now.”

“So move on,” Xander insisted. “Let it go. Tomorrow’s just around the corner and did I mention that it’s time for you to move on?”

“Twice,” Doyle said, lips twitching.

Xander dropped down on the couch next to him. “So you’ll live. This isn’t the end of the world and nice guys don’t always finish last.”

“You think I’m a nice guy?” Doyle asked.

A shy grin tugged at Xander’s lips and he looked at the other man through his eyelashes. After a moment, he nodded and said, “I think it, I say it. Most of the time that results in foot in mouth but this time… my brain got a chance to process and it and my mouth definitely agree.”

“Thanks.”

“Feeling better?” Cordelia asked.

“Yeah,” Doyle said softly.

“Yeah?” Xander asked, just for reassurance.

Suddenly, Doyle gasped and grabbed his forehead. His entire body tensed and he started to fall off the couch. He managed to grab hold of the arm and stay seated but only just barely.

Xander jumped up and away from the couch. “Not my fault!” he exclaimed.

“He’s having a vision, you dolt!” Spike stated.

Angel shot forward and grabbed Doyle’s shoulder. He looked into Doyle’s startled green eyes and asked, “What? What did you see?”