The Silent Urge Series

*
**

Chapter 27 - Insight


~ Xander ~
Sleep won't come for a long time. Eventually, I fall into the dark realms of my dreams.
Spike and Treck are there, making out, fucking like animals again and again while I stand outside watching them, with a spent and flaccid cock.
My jeans are soaked in come and I feel so unworthy, so ashamed of my inexperience.
They look at me and laugh ‘til tears are spilling down their cheeks.


~ Spike ~
I am still pacing and raving, bloody quietly, to myself so as not to disturb the idiot boy, when I hear his heart speed up. I don't care. Serves him right. Enjoy your nightmares, whelp. I don't bloody care.

Slowly I make my way over to the door and open it. The scent of fear and cold sweat, tears even, wafts over me. Must be a good one. He throws himself from one side to the other, tangling himself up in the bed sheets pretty well. Houdini in reverse. I chuckle quietly, but even I know it's fake. Damn.


~ Xander ~
"He is just human, Spikey. You know he can never give you what you need." Treck says to Spike and I start to cry when they get on with it again. My father is suddenly there strangely, commenting on how beautiful these demons are together and I can't but agree with him. There is no space for me. Cold chains form around my biceps, holding me in place, making me watch them. I can't get away. I panic. Dad grins at me. I try to turn away. I can't. The chains hold fast. Dad laughs. No. God. I want this to stop. I..

"No, please, no. Spike! Daddy, I'm sorry… No Dad. I can do better. I can… Spike!" I cry out in agony, but they won't hear me.


~ Spike ~
When I hear him say Daddy I am over at the bed, shaking him. No-one deserves such a fucker for a father.
"Xander. Xander. Wake up!" I say, trying for a soothing tone. "It's just a nightmare. Xander, wake up, pet." So, what? I don't care, but I don't need him to keep me awake all the time with his moaning and screams and.. Oh fuck it. So I do care. 'S not the first time I’ve taken care of someone. Bad Habit and all.


~ Xander ~
I wake with a start. Spike is again hovering over me, a worried look on his face. His hands are around my biceps, just his hands – no chainy chy cheeks are wet from crying, my body sweating.

"Spike." I say, and throw myself against his chest. "You're here. With me." He embraces me and places little kisses in my hair.

"It's alright pet. You're safe. I've got you. Nothing can hurt you. You're safe." He murmurs, again and again. And yeah, I feel safe. Spike keeps me safe.

He yawns deeply. A look at the clock tells me it’s 8 a.m. Sun's been up for three hours now.
"You're tired." I state, and he nods. "I.. stay with me?" I ask, childlike. "Please?" Don't leave me alone.

"Can do if you want."

"You don't want to?" I question, fearfully.


~ Spike ~
Oh boy, if you knew. He stares at me with the manga-sized brown eyes, scared and kicked puppy look. Want is the understatement of the bloody year. "I want to, pet."

"Stay please.." He begs and I nod. I let go of him and pull my shirt over my head, shed my boots and socks. I quickly decide against losing my jeans too. No underwear and don't know what the whelp dreamed, with crying for his dad to stop after his first sexual encounter with me.

Bloody hell. Why do I always get the disturbed ones? Always have to pick up after 'Daddy'. Bloody hate it. Really, is it worth the effort? But this one, the boy, he is so different, maybe.. He is young.. he can learn, can change. Nothing lost with this one so far, just scared.


~ Xander ~
I curl myself in a tight ball, knees to chin, arms around shins, Spike spoons behind me, arms around me, a kiss against my neck. This is how it has to be and I sigh loudly when he presses his demon face between my shoulder blades. Sleep claims me almost instantly.


~ Spike ~
I wake up just after sunset, still lying nearly in the same position, curled around the boy who's clutching my hand to his chest.

"Morning, pet." I nuzzle against his neck. Damn it all, let's just have a moment of sleepy haze.

"Hey." He greets, weakly.

"You okay?" Sweet boy. You smell so good.

"Hm." He moans and presses back against my chest. I kiss his neck and he pulls my hand to his lips and starts sucking on my thumb. I groan, my tongue darts out to lick his skin, taste the blush and arousal. I can smell his precome and just knowing this makes him so hard that he’s leaking already, makes me even harder. He circles his tongue around my thumb, takes it deeper into his warm, wet mouth. In return, I nibble his skin with blunt teeth and press my cock against his ass.


~ Xander ~
I groan when I feel his pretty impressive, hard length pressing in the cleft of my ass.
Releasing his thumb just to take his index and middle finger in my mouth, he gasps when I make the fingers very wet with salvia, lick along the inside of them, every so often sliding my tongue between them, pressing harshly through the fence they're building.

He starts rocking against me in earnest, panting and moaning.
"Fuck, Xan, don't stop. Please, so good, so hot, Xan.." In reply I arch my back, giving him better access to my ass, pressing back, meeting his thrusts. I feel him change against my neck, not able to control his features in the heights of passion when

<> <>

I cry out when Spike stops and tenses: "NO!"

"I have to go, Xander. It's my cell phone. Only one person has the number to it. It's important."

"No." I resist, pouting.

"Xan, I have to." He tries to pull his hand away but I bite down hard. And immediately regret it.

"Let. Go. Of. Me!" He growls, very, very angrily. Shit. I let go and he is out of the bed and out of the room less than a second later. Oh fuck. I bit him again. Again! After he made the rules clear. After he told me not to do it ever again. Dumb, dumb Xander. I should write a book: How to fuck up sexual experiences properly. I would make millions. I bury my face in the pillows and try to hold back the tears threatening to roll down my cheeks.


~ Spike ~
What the hell is he thinking? Is he thinking at all? I thought he understood, he wouldn't do it again after I made it clear to him. I am a vampire in my own rights – nobody bites me. Without my permission and when I say I have to go, I go – he's not gonna hold me back. I do what I want to do. Bloody fucking hell. I just hope the call is important enough. I swear someone – the bloody powers or whatever there is – someone's got the instruction to make my unlife hell! I can't bite, can't fight, can't get laid for god's sake! Oh god.. William the bloody pathetic. *grrrrs*

So, I am not that upset 'bout the bite – just, does he have even an idea as to what he hints with it all the time. No – course not – didn't have the talk. Talk first, blood later.. Ahhh, that's why! I smack my head dramatically. Idiot. Not that it matters, when he's my mate he's allowed to do as he pleases, biting and all, don't need to rip him a new one for this now.

I close the door behind me. I have to answer the call, see what Peaches has to say, let the boy feel like shit for a while, he can take it. He's not my mate – yet. He does not have rights to—

I take up the mobile and press the green key.


***


Thanks very much for the lovely comments. It means a lot to me.
On this site I started posting and gradually found a lot of new friends and my way in the internet-world.
Whenever I hear someone say that he followed this from the beginning, from the first post here about 7 months ago.. I am so touched and have this happy tears in my eyes. Thanks so much for all your support. *hugs*

*