Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me

Spike woke in the early afternoon to the sounds of Xander trying to quietly sneak into the house. He knew it was Xander because only his young lover could make enough noise to wake the entire neighborhood when he was trying to be quiet in the house. The sound of one heavy shoe hitting the floor and the soft swearing made him grin.

Then he looked at the clock and lost his amusement. Xander was home entirely too early; he was supposed to be bothering the Watcher or doing whatever the hell it was they teach in American schools. From what Spike could see, they didn’t teach all that much.

He listened closely as Xander made his way from the living room to the kitchen. Spike could hear his love humming under his breath as he poured the cereal. Whatever it was that caused Xander to be home early wasn’t bad.

He sighed to himself and scrubbed his hands across his eyes. It was entirely too early to be awake, and Xander was trying to be quiet so Spike could just roll over and go back to sleep. Problem was, he was a curious bugger and now that he was awake enough to think about it he wondered just what had happened to make Xander come home. Not that he liked it when Xander went to school anyhow but he wanted a Childe that was well educated. American schools might not do it but Spike had been tutoring him with his studies. He’d watched as Xander’s bright mind started working and growing and his boy started learning more than ever before.

All Xander had needed was a little encouragement and confidence. His boy had let slip a few things about when Red tried to help him and, from what he could tell, more often than not the little slip of a girl would get frustrated by Xander’s energy and give up. Spike didn’t.

Spike sighed and slipped on a pair of pants and made his way quietly into the living room. There Xander was, with his feet up on the couch and a bowl full of one of his noxious sugary things as he watched something on the telly with the sound turned low.

He didn’t look hurt or upset or anything like that, but there was the faint scent of adrenaline and anger around Xander. Spike purposely made some noise before going into the room to sit beside him.

“Any special reason you’re home so early, pet, or did you just miss me?”

“Spike!” Xander nearly choked on one of those absurdly colored marshmallows that were in his cereal and Spike had to pat him on the back to help him breathe. “Wow, umm, sorry if I woke you up. I kinda, sorta, got suspended and it was boring hanging out at the mall with no one there.”

Xander looked guilty and embarrassed but Spike just laughed and ran his hand through his boy’s hair. “Suspended, eh? What evil thing did you do to get kicked out, luv, put up a picture of one of your male teachers in a dress?”

Xander relaxed and went back to eating, talking in between shoving spoonfuls of sugar in his face. “Nope, even better. Okay, so first, I got in trouble for daydreaming in History class. Then I mouthed off to the teacher because he was saying how nothing good came from WWII. Now, all that slaughter was bad, yeah, but if it wasn’t for WWII, the United Nations wouldn’t be around and the 'States would still be all isolated because before Pearl Harbor we didn’t do jack shit for the rest of the world. Mr. Lilly looked like he swallowed a bug and then kicked me out of the class.”

Xander took a deep breath and shoved another spoonful of food into his mouth before continuing and Spike found himself sitting back and grinning. Of all the ways he’d been working on corrupting Xander, giving him too much knowledge wasn’t what he had planned but the boy was so proud that he knew these things and Spike just had to smile.

“Then we had a reading comprehension test in English class. Okay, I have Mr. Musick for Creative Writing but I have Mrs. Adams for regular English and she’s stupid. I mean, she can’t find her glasses and they’re on her face kind of stupid. I kinda failed a test because I said that the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock. But no…according to him they landed at Cape Cod. I sort of pointed out that you can’t land in Cape Cod because it’s a body of water, and that the Pilgrims freaking well signed Plymouth Rock and…well, between the two Snyder suspended me for three days. Seems I have a smart mouth.”

Xander was bouncing and Spike could tell the lad was proud of himself. “You have a smart everything, luv. It’s fucking amazing you even know how to read considering some of your teachers, pet.”

“Yeah, well, thank Jim Henson and the Electric Company. Without them I probably wouldn’t have even learned to read until second grade. And Mr. Rodgers, can’t forget about him, even though as I get older and more perverted I can’t help but laugh every time I see Trolley go into the tunnel.”

Spike just looked at Xander with one of his eyebrows raised and Xander blushed. He shook his head; sometimes Xander babbled about the weirdest things. Still, he wasn’t nearly as insane as Dru and was more loyal so he mainly just listened.

This time it looked like Xander had babbled himself out. Either that or he was still getting used to the idea that someone thought he was more than just the goofy mask that he would still put on around the Slayer and her bunch.

Spike ran his hand through his hair. “Tell you what, Xan, let me wake up a bit and once it gets dark we’ll do something to celebrate. Go to LA or something.”

Xander gave a snort. “Only you would think of rewarding me for being suspended, Spike, but okay. Hey, can I drive?”

“Only in your dreams, pet!” Spike ruffled his young lover’s hair as he got up to make his way to the shower. He wouldn’t let Xander drive his precious DeSoto, but maybe he’d find some other car for the boy to practice driving in. He didn’t have a license yet, despite the fact that he was older than sixteen, and Spike seriously doubted that bastard that squirted into his mother's belly ever got off his fat arse to teach Xander how to drive in the big city.

He listened to Xander humming under his breath and grinned to himself. Maybe he’d teach Xander how to jimmy a car door and hot wire it. You never know when that talent might come in handy.

*****

Xander sat back in his chair at the Library table and sighed. He was bored. Bored, bored, bored. Giles was busy in his office and the girls hadn’t come in from whatever the hell it was they were doing. Then again, anything would be boring after eight hours of the Psychopath Driving School. He fought back the urge to grin. He knew he should feel guilty about his “lessons”, especially since they had “borrowed” someone else’s car, but it had been fun.

Deep down he knew that more and more he was testing his limits. Even Giles had frowned when he’d confessed about getting mouthy at two of his teachers. It wasn’t what he had said but how he said it, he knew, but he just couldn’t respect someone who was that idiotic. Add to that the fact that he’d heard that Mr. Lilly liked to pay attention to the tenth grade girls a little too much and it just went to remind him that not all monsters were demons.

Plus it was fun, freaking the mundanes out. That’s what he was beginning to call the people of the Hellmouth that were blind, deaf and dumb. The other night he’d been hanging out with Cordy at the Bronze and Harmony had nearly been attacked by a vampire. He’d saved her but she had totally ignored the fangs and yellow eyes. She had thought he was just some jerk and had started bitching, which almost made him wish he hadn’t saved her life.

Oh well, at least Cordy was glad he hadn’t let her minion die.

He heard a set of footsteps in the hall and Xander grinned. Speak of the devil and She would appear. Cordelia came stalking into the library, obviously pissed off, the short red dress and pulled up hair all but screaming, “Bitch with an attitude.”

“There you are! Aren’t you off that suspension or whatever yet? I actually needed to talk to you for once and you weren’t there!”

“Sorry, Cordy, I still have one more day being blissfully school free. Well, Wills is bringing me homework to do but other than that… Why, what did you need?”

She sat down on the library table he was in front of and crossed her legs. He had to admire the move; he was gay, not dead. Besides, he pretty much figured that she’d practiced in front of a mirror every day for a month when she was in Junior High just to get it right, so it would be rude not to look.

“Okay, there are some retarded fledges running around town, and I can’t help but hope your boyfriend doesn’t have such bad taste. Whoever vamped Tina DeWitt probably had some serious issues; she is such a know it all. And get this, one tried to pick me up last night! Wearing something out of a bad Saturday Night Live sketch, one of the ones after Belushi left. What are you going to do about it?”

Xander frowned. He knew for a fact that Spike wasn’t making any minions right now, said they were stupid and a pain in the ass. He knew that there were a few that Spike…talked to? Connected with? Ordered around and they scurried to do his every wish?

A sharp slap on the back of his head brought him out of his confusing thoughts. “Don’t you dare space out on me! It’s bad enough that Buffy is acting weirder than ever before, with your lifestyle you can’t afford to get any stranger. Can you do anything or not?”

He looked around to see if there was anyone else in the library to hear her. Giles was quiet in his office but not too quiet. Well, at least he hoped he wasn't being too quiet. It would be just his luck to have Giles hear a conversation about Spike.

“Okay, number one, it just ruins my image of you to know that you watch reruns of SNL. Two, I’ll have Sp—Will check things out. What happened last night ... I mean, I know you’re okay since you’re sitting here in the sunlight and all that, but how?”

“Please! I’m not stupid, Xander. Ever since finding out about this burg’s nocturnal activities I’ve been taking Tae Bo. I may not be up to Buffy’s standards but I’m getting pretty good. It’ll keep my ass from going south in another five years, too. Oh, and high heels are a girl’s best friend, not diamonds. Not that I’d say no to diamonds…”

Xander couldn’t help but grin at her. Cordy sounded so proud of herself. It occurred to him that in a lot of ways Cordy had just as sucky a home life as he did. Okay, maybe her Dad didn’t beat the crap out her but it wasn’t like anyone at home gave a shit either. They pretty much ignored her.

Then his grin got even wider. “Gotta say, great idea with the Tae Bo, Cordelia, but I’ve got an even better plan…”

*****