Healing

Part 26

When Xander got Spike back to the apartment he steered him into the bedroom and began to undress him. He was still coated in Drusilla’s dust and Xander knew that wasn't helping Spike any. Spike himself was shut-down, a situation Xander had seen him in before.

After stripping Spike, Xander undressed as well and led the unresponsive vampire into the bathroom. Xander turned the shower on and pulled Spike under the hot spray. After washing his lover from head to toe - twice, because he knew how sensitive a vamps senses were - he dried him off and dressed him in a pair of his comfy sweat pants and a loose t-shirt.

Xander took Spike back to bed and just held him. Slowly Spike started to come back to himself, Xander continued to hold him and try his best to comfort him. Finally Spike was coherent enough to talk about it.

"Xander?"

"Hey, Spike. You okay?"

"Not really, luv. I will be though."

"Why, Spike? Why did you ..."

"Stake Dru? Had to, she was too dangerous luv. She would have hurt you, or worse."

"You - you did that, for me? I don't know what to say."

"Say you love me. Say I did the right thing. Say you're mine."

"Yes, yours. I love you Spike, always."

"Show me?"

Xander kissed Spike with all the love he had in him, he wanted to make Spike understand how very much he loved him. He touched him gently, carefully, like you would a cherished object.

Spike responded to the gentle caress of his lover, it was what he wanted, what he needed right now. He didn't know how he ever got so lucky, to have someone love him this much, someone who seemed to be able to read his very thoughts. Xander always seemed to know the right thing to say, the right thing to do. And what he was doing right now was very much appreciated. He was letting him know that he was loved, above all others, he was what was important.

Xander spent countless minutes just touching and kissing Spike, gently removing the clothing from his lovers body. He stood and undressed himself and just looked at Spike, naked and hard on their bed, pale skin glowing in the moonlight. He was beautiful.

"You're beautiful, Spike. I love you so much."

"Xander, please. Touch me, love me."

"Always Spike, always."

Xander returned to the bed and began to worship Spike with his hands and mouth. He kissed and caressed every inch of that pale skin until Spike was trembling and begging for more. Then he gently prepared the vampire and eased himself into his lovers body.

Spike arched into the heated body of his lover, he needed this contact, this reassurance. It was maddening, the slow pace and gentle touches, but at the same time it was exciting and new. In over a century he'd never had anyone take such care to be gentle and good with him as Xander did, and probably always would. It was the difference between making love and having sex or fucking.

Xander set a slow and easy pace, making sure to nudge Spike's prostate on each stroke. He wanted to bring pleasure to Spike, to wipe out the pain of what he'd done earlier, to prove to him that he was loved.

Spike was close, he could hear Xander chanting 'love you' over and over in his ear. He felt Xander shift his weight to one arm just before a warm hand wrapped around his throbbing cock and began to stroke him. It was too much and he came with a strangled scream. Xander felt it the moment Spike let go. He stopped holding back and let himself climax as well.

Xander pulled out of his lover carefully and rolled them so that Spike was lying on top of him. He held him close and rubbed soothing circles on his back. He couldn't help but smile when he heard the faint rumbling emit from his vampire. He decided that now was as good a time as any to ask Spike something that had been nagging at him since they left the school.


"Spike? You remember the first morning after the... The thing in the park?"

"Yeah, what of it?"

"You remember what you said about killing? About vampires only killing for certain people?"


~FLASHBACK~

"Well, if you were a vampire, it would mean you were either my Sire, my Master, or my Childe. Vamps don't go around protecting each other unless they're close, family close. The only other thing a vampire will kill for is it's mate. They aren't always vampires, but most of the time they are. Since you're human, it doesn't have to mean anything. I'd like it if it meant we were friends."

~END FLASHBACK~

"Yeah, I remember. What of it? What are you trying to say pet?"

"I was wondering... Am I... Are we... You killed for me. Why?"

Things were starting to make sense to Spike, he had an Idea of what Xander was trying to say.

"You want to know if you are my mate, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"No, not yet anyway. I want you to be, but right now you are just my claimed, my lover."

"What's the difference? I mean we did the whole biting thing."

Spike sighed, this was not something he was good at, explaining vampire traditions was always more of Angelus's forte. Still, he could tell Xander what he knew, it wasn't much but it would have to do.

"Alright, now you probably know more about stodgy vamp ritual than I do, but the bonding of mates is something that isn't done very often so you won't find any written works on it. Basically, a vampire and his chosen, be it another vamp, a human, or something else, tie themselves to each other with magic. It forms a bond, a link, between the two. They get the best parts of the other, in our case you would gain immortality and I would likely gain the power to withstand holy objects, possibly even sunlight."

"Wow. So uh, why don't more vamps just bond with humans? If it gives them these advantages, I mean."

"Because, the bond only works if the two in question are truly in love. Not many humans could love a demon, or vice versa. Hells not many demons can truly love anyone, especially vampires."

"You can."

"Yeah well, I've always been unique what can I say?"

Xander kissed Spike on the top of his head and then fell silent. He was thinking about everything he'd just heard. He knew about being claimed and the benefits he would gain from it, but had never heard of bonding - being mated. Spike had said he wanted to bond with him, make him his mate, but did he want that with Spike?

Spike knew Xander was thinking, he hadn't wanted to have this discussion yet, not like this. Yeah, he wanted Xander, wanted to be with him forever, but it was too soon for this. Xander was human, he had no idea of what it would be like to become the mate of a vampire. Eternity sounded good, until you were actually faced with it. How would Xander cope with watching all of his friends grow old and die while he remained the same? Not that they really stood a chance of living that long here on the Hell mouth. That was the one reason Spike had to push this, he didn't want to lose Xander before they got the chance to bond.

Xander took a good look at the man sprawled across his chest. Could he love him forever? Did he want to? After much consideration he knew the answer was a heartfelt yes. He had given his life over to Spike completely the night he'd deactivated the chip. That was the night he turned away while his father and uncle were tortured and killed in the name of love and vengeance, the night he had been claimed. He loved Spike. If that meant he had the chance to truly love him forever, he was going to take it.