Shot in the Dark

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Chapter 25: Into the Light
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Psyche squeals, running around the pool in circles, clapping her hands. Cupid remains seated, but a smile lights up his face as he watches his love.

“Love, my dear! Love! They are truly and madly in love!!” Finally, out of breath, she plops down in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“It’s definitely love, my sweet,” Cupid agrees. “But it is just the first step. A very big first step, but there is more.”

“Whatever do you mean, honey?” Psyche turns her head to Cupid, brow knit in concern.

“Life. They have more obstacles to happiness than just about any couple on that Earth. Friends that won’t understand, that will violently disapprove, as a matter of fact. Not to mention that nagging difficulty of him being undead and a vampire, while she is fully alive? Remember?”

Pysche purses her full lips prettily at her mate. “Oh phooey. Reality. I don’t like it.” She crosses her arms on her chest and pouts.

“Now, now, love. Do not forget. I am not helpless. I have my ways...okay?” Cupid lifts his mortal beauty’s chin, meeting her eyes. “Okay?” His smile immediately spreads to her face and she lights back up.

“Yay! That’s my sweet Eros!” Eyes glittering, Psyche dives in for a kiss, toppling Cupid over in the process.

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“Are you out of your ever-lovin’ mind!?!” Willow’s eyes nearly burst out of their sockets. Buffy glances around as several heads turn their direction on the open quad. She yanks Willow under a tree for a bit more privacy.

“Will, shhh! What happened to ‘I’m your best friend, I’ll support you?’”

“Screw that! That was before you told me that you think you’re in love with Spi-” Buffy’s hand shoots out to cover Willow’s mouth as her volume was rising on each word.

Buffy grinds through her teeth, “Willow. Not common knowledge yet, could you keep it down?”

“But Buffy, I’m on the edge of a major freak-out here. I mean, teetering . Look at me with the teetering!” Willow waves her hands in the air as she speaks, eyes still wide.

Buffy sighs, closing her eyes. She knew it was a mistake to leave the crypt. After he told her, they just held each other for the longest time, absorbing the weight of the moment. Buffy could see he was getting more tired and decided to let him rest for the day. After all, it is his time to sleep. She kissed him and whispered that she would be back at sunset. He is there, in the crypt, sleeping soundly. His alabaster skin glowing in the dim light. God, she wants to be there in his arms.

“Hel-LO, Buffy! Did I mention about the teetering?” Willow’s hand flashes in front of Buffy’s eyes, start her her as she opens them.

“Oh, sorry. You were saying?”

Willow sighs in exasperation, pulling Buffy down into a sitting position under the tree. “Buffy. Focus on me. Look right at me and tell me you are not serious. Spike? Vampire? EVIL vampire!?”

Buffy nibbles on her bottom lip. Out here in the light of day, her best friend’s green eyes boring into her in disbelief, it all feels so unreal. Did all of it really hap D Did they...fall in love?

She knows it sounds preposterous. Last week, neither one could stop talking about how much they hated the other. So yeah, it is coming out of left field. But his arms around her, his sweet blue eyes, his gentle touch, those things are real. He’s real. What she feels is real. She nods, answering her own questions more than Willow’s.

She feels her heartbeat steady and fall into a calm rhythm. When she lifts her eyes to Willow’s again, Willow stood back a bit. There is something different about Buffy’s demeanor, something new in her eyes, in the set of her mouth.

“I’m serious, Will. I’ve never been so serious. Believe me, if there’s anyone that knows the topsy turviness of falling for a vampire, it’s me. Buffy, expert number one on relationships with the undead.” Buffy reaches out and takes one of Willow’s hands in hers. “I...don’t think I’m in love with him.” Willow lets out the breath she was holding, opening her mouth to respond.

Buffy continues, cutting her off. “I know I’m in love with him.”

Willow’s mouth clamps closed with a soft click of surprise. Her voice is higher, nearly a squeak. “You KNOW you’re in love with him? Buffy, how can you know...so soon?”

Buffy’s eyes drop to her lap, her fingers tangled together there. She attempts to collect what she feels for Spike. Tries to tidy it, tuck in the edges, neaten it so she can explain it. But it just escapes her grasp each time with a life of its own. It defies her description, her conventions. She brings her gaze to Willow again, no closer to explaining it than when she started this conversation.

“Willow, you trust me, right?” Her tone is even, controlled. Willow picks up the mood of the moment and finds herself strangely calm. A cool breeze blows her hair across her face and she reaches up to tuck it behind her ear as she watches Buffy.

“Of course, Buffy. With my life. You know that.”

“You have to trust me on this, too. I love him. He loves me. I don’t expect you to understand it or accept it yet, but give me...give him the benefit of the doubt, okay? Trust me?” Buffy’s eyes are pleading. She doesn’t need her best friend’s blessing to love Spike. She wants, but she doesn’t need it. For now, she just wants Willow to stop screaming and waving her hands. Baby steps.

Willow sighs, cracking under the earnest hazel eyes boring into her. “Benefit of the doubt?” She looks off in the distance for endless seconds, her green eyes scanning the horizon before returning to Buffy. “I already know him, Buffy, how can I do that? You do remember his few attempts on my life, right?”

“Of course, of course, Willow. But just think of how many times he’s tried to kill me!” Buffy’s attempt at a joke has some effect. The corners of Willow’s mouth twitch up.

“Well, you got me there. He’s tried to kill you way more times than me. It’s like grade school...the boy who pulls your hair or in this case, tries to break your neck, really must like you. If that’s any measure, this thing with you and Spike must be love.” Despite her light tone, Buffy knows Willow is not okay with this yet. Buffy can hardly blame her. Willow’s experiences with Spike have been way on the negative side so far. How can she get Willow and the rest of the gang to see that he can be different? How can she change their minds when she doesn’t even know what changed hers? How does she put into words something she simply knows? He loves her, she loves him and this fact is indelible, unchangeable and somehow, forever. Does it make perfect sense? No. Does anything?

Buffy realizes the quiet that is hanging in the air while she wrestles her thoughts. Bringing herself back into focus, she finds Willow studying her. Her green eyes are soft as she recognizes Buffy’s struggles.

“Buffy, I want to believe this will be okay, but you do understand why I’m worried, right? I wouldn’t be a good friend if I wasn’t.”

Buffy lets out a tiny sigh. “Of course. As long as you don’t run off and try to stake him...something I think will spring to mind when I tell...”

“Xander!” Willow’s voice grows unnaturally high and Buffy sees her shake her head slightly, cutting Buffy’s thought short.

Xander’s voice comes from close behind Buffy. Buffy holds her breath, hoping and praying he wasn’t there long. “My favorite college co-eds! Give the townie a big kiss! No? A hug? A friendly wave?” Buffy turns and waves weakly at Xander, struggling to plaster a smile on her face gone pale. “There we go, with such enthusiasm. So, what’s up?” Xander flops down on the grass, looking from face to face.

Simultaneously, Buffy and Willow pipe up, “Nothing!”

“Alright, ladies, I’m on to you.” Xander’s voice grows stern as he frowns at them both.

The girls exchange worried glances. Buffy starts to open her mouth, but Xander interrupts, waggling his finger at each of them in turn. “No more mid-day mochas! Look at you, with the jitters and the twitchiness.”

Willow’s laugh is too high and infused with false cheerfulness. “You caught us, Xander! Bad naughty college girls. Can’t hold our coffee.”

Xander turns to Buffy, “So, why the caffeine infusion, Buffster? Up all night giving some vamp the business?”

Buffy’s face flushes red almost immediately and Willow straightens up suddenly. “No! No business! I gave no business.” She pauses. “What business?”

“Okaaaay, I’m really close to backing away slowly with my hands up, gals. Simmer down. It’s slang, B. S. Something the kids today say? Let me simple it up. Were you up late slaying?” He knits his brow at his clearly wired friends.

Buffy laughs nervously and Willow joins in. “Oh yes, slaying. Lots and lots....and lots of slaying.” Buffy’s face continues to flush as she re-lives the ‘slaying’ she was doing all night. How will she ever be able to tell Xander the truth? Even in the midst of this nerve-wracking conversation, Buffy’s mind wanders. The need to have him is overwhelming. The thought of Spike’s face at rest when she left him, mouth soft and inviting, cheekbones sharp and enticing. She shivers in desire.

“Cold, Buffy? Xander’s voice slams her back into the present.

“Oh uh no. Anyway, I...uh...we gotta go. Late for class!” Buffy stands up, grabbing Willow’s elbow. She has to get away before she slips up in front of Xander. She’ll think of a way to break it to him. Later.

Willow looks confused. “We are? But...” Buffy widens her eyes at Willow, making sure Xander can’t see her. “We are! Late! So late. Like she said. See you later, Xander!!” Both girls stumble off quickly, leaving Xander to stare after them.

He shakes his head. “I love those girls.” He gets up to leave the quad, brushing off his pants. “I mean, I don’t understand them at all...but I do love them.” He grins wryly and heads off in the opposite direction.

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Author’s Note: Thanks, bansheeh - that's a great review. Simple & to the point. ;) Thanks to all for reading - how 'bout some reviews? :) -Tiana