So Damn Domestic

The Next Morning. FPOV


I just woke up a couple minutes ago. I’m still lyin in my bed with both of my babies in between me and B. She’s still so beat up from that demon. It’s going to take a least a week for all of her bruises to go away and until then she’s gonna stay in the house ‘cause she doesn’t want the neighbors thinkin I did anything to her. She’s so tired, so…emotionally drained. We all are. I think we’re gonna spend the next couple days just loungin around then house. Mattie’s still on Thanksgiving break, he doesn’t go back to school until next week and we have enough left overs to last us a day or two and when those run out we can just order pizza. There, it’s a plan. No leaving the house until we’re all rested. I don’t think I’m gonna wear anything but my pajamas.


B was awake when I got home last night. She was so…gone. Dawn and Red were trying to talk to her, tellin her that Addy was still alive but she wasn’t listenin. I don’t think she could’ve even if she tried. She was sitting on our bed, holding Mattie so tight that there’re some bruises on his back. When she looked up and she saw the two of us…she started crying so hard. And I sat down on the bed and she took Addy from me and kissed her all over her face and clung onto her for twenty minutes until she finally fell asleep. She hasn’t woken up yet. I’m not gonna wake her up either.


All three of ‘em are still sleepin. Mattie was so upset ‘cause of the way B just shut down. He thought his sister was dead. Even with Willow and Dawn tellin him she wasn’t he still thought it ‘cause not only was B breakin down but Addy was gone so he didn’t believe them. I held onto him when B was holding Addy. He cried pretty hard, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like that. And now we’re all tired. And it’s gonna take a while to get over this. Especially for him. He’s not like us. He doesn’t have years of experience dealing with demons and the damage they bring. He’s never suffered loss before. Even if it was only for a few hours he still went through. I really hope he’s gonna be ok.


I slowly lean up a little bit so my head’s propped up with my arm. I’m sore all over from bein thrown against that tree so many fuckin times, and that house. I hope there isn’t too much damage. Even though I’m sore all over and layin like this is killin me I’m lovin the view. B’s layin so she’s in a fetal position and her arms are wrapped around Addy. Mattie is layin with the back of his head against Addy’s chest, and the rest of his body is slanting towards me. I was holding him but I guess he rolled outta my arms or somethin last night.


Addy needs to be changed, I can smell it from here. Half of me wants to let her sleep ‘cause she looks so damn peaceful, plus B’s all wrapped around her. But I know that if I don’t change her she could get diaper rash and that doesn’t sound like fun. I slowly get out of bed so I don’t move the mattress or nothin. Mattie can sleep through almost anything, it’ll take more to wake Addy but B is probably the lightest sleeper in the world. It took a while to get used to it when we started staying over at each other’s apartments. Anyway, I walk around to the other side of the bed and very slowly lift B’s arm off Addy and as gently as I can I start to lift my girl up off the bed.


“No,” B mumbles in her sleep and wraps her arms around Addy again, only a little tighter this time like she’s clutchin onto a teddy bear or somethin. “Mine…can’t have.” I lean down so my mouth is right next to B’s ear. Hopefully I can coax her into lettin Addy go. I do that sometimes when I need to get up but B doesn’t wanna let go of me. It usually works but sometimes she wakes up.


“Don’t worry baby,” I whisper really soft so hopefully she’ll stay asleep. I want her to get as much rest as possible before she wakes up. “I’ll give her right back. Shh, B, it’s ok.” I slowly untangle B’s arms again and gently lift Addy off the bed and hold her against me so her head is on my shoulder. B whimpers a little bit and starts to feel around the bed. Her hands find Mattie and she pulls him really close to her and she calms down. I leave a little kiss on her ear and leave the room. Addy whines a little and tries to bury her face deeper into my neck. It woulda been stupid to hope she’d stay asleep. I take her into her bedroom and lay her down on the changing table.


“How’s my girl this morning?” I ask and she just yawns and rubs her eyes. “Yeah, I know the feelin.” I change her diaper and put her back into her pajamas. Like I said, no getting dressed for the next couple of days, that means all of us not just me. “You hungry?” She nods her head yes and I pick her up again and take her into the kitchen. I put her in her high chair and grab the pancake mix outta the cupboard and the waffles out of the freezer. I hold both the boxes up in front of her. “Do you want waffles?” I hold the waffle box a little closer to her. “Or, pancakes?” I pull the waffle box back and put other box closer to her. She looks at both of ‘em for about a minute before she points to the waffles. “Alright, waffle it is.” I make us some breakfast and it’s pretty quiet while we eat.


I wonder if she remembers any of it. Does she remember B chainin me up? Does she remember the way the scoobs were talkin to me? I know she doesn’t know what the words mean but their tones were harsh and babies pick up on that, and the room was wicked tense, she probably picked up on that too. I hope she’s ok and isn’t gonna be traumatized or nothin because of what happened. This was her first experience of the supernatural kind. She hasn’t even been near a vampire yet.


I’d kinda like to be in control whenever my kids are around a demon or vamp or whatever. We are gonna teach ‘em how to slay when they’re around twelve or thirteen. They’ll have a lot of training before they go on a patrol but I’m sure me or B will bring a newbie vamp back to the house so they can practice.


Kinda how a mother lion will bring back a rabbit or somethin for her cubs to play with, it helps with the hunting skills. B’s a little nervous about that, but I don’t nothin too bad’ll happen. We’re gonna build a training room in the backyard and the weapons will be kept in the house and we’ll have a bunch of crosses and stuff on the wall and it’s not like we’re gonna just leave ‘em alone the room with a vamp. We’ll be there in case one of us needs to step in.


I look up when I hear B walk into the room. She has tears runnin down her face and she looks like she’s gonna break down. I get up and run over to her side and wrap my arms around her. She clings onto me and buries her face in my neck and cries. I gently rub the back of her head and rock her a little. I pull out a chair from the table and sit down and pull her into my lap.


“I woke up and you were gone,” she sobs and clings onto me a little tired. I shoulda known she would be like this. Nothin really I coulda done about it ‘cause Addy needs to eat and she’ll just make a big mess in the bedroom, but I shoulda been a little prepared for it, or at least expected.


“I know baby, I’m sorry. But Addy was gettin hungry and she needed to be changed.” She shakes her head no and leans back so I can see her face. It’s all red from her cryin, her eyes are bloodshot and puffy and her nose is all stuffed up. I gently wipe her tears off her cheeks.


“I mean yesterday.” She hiccups a little and sucks in a big breath before she lets it out. She’s tryin to calm down but she can’t make it happen. “I remember passing out when I thought she….” she can’t say it but I know what she means. “And I woke up and you two were gone and I didn’t know where you were. I thought I lost both of you forever.” She breaks down again and buries her face in my neck. “I thought he killed my baby. I thought she was gone.” I gently rub her back and try to calm her down but it isn’t workin too well.


“It’s ok, B. I got her back. I brought her home. She’s safe, baby, everything’s fine. The demon’s dead and we’re both ok. I got some cuts but those’ll get better. She’s fine though, not a scratch on her.” Except for the two little marks on her fingers from yesterday when Red did those spells. “Baby, it’s ok, she’s ok.” She keeps cryin and I know she just needs to get all this out of her system. Addy starts cryin. I was wonderin when she was gonna start. She’s at that age now when a baby sees someone cryin they’ll start cryin too. I pick B up and carry her bridal style into the living room and set her down on the couch. “Wait right here, ok? I’ll be right back.” I give her a kiss on the forehead and go back into the kitchen.


“Ok, baby girl, what’s the problem?” I pick her up and she instantly calms down. She buries her face in my neck just like B did and her sobs go away. “There, see, everything’s fine. Mommy’s just not feelin too good right now.” Understatement of the year, but whatever. I make her a bottle, which is kinda hard with her clingin onto me. I hand it to her and take her into the living room.


B’s face is buried in one of the throw pillows and she’s cryin her eyes out. I put Addy on the floor and sit down on the couch. B latches onto me and keeps cryin. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her like this before. It takes her while but she finally calms down. She’s a little embarrassed for cryin like that but I tell her it’s ok. When Mattie wakes up I make him some food while B watches T.V. with Addy. And let the laziness begin.


BPOV


So Faith has this crazy idea to just stay inside all day and do nothing. No going outside, no getting dressed, no doing housework, just nothing. And I gotta say I love her crazy ideas sometimes. And even though she said we’d do nothing all day long for the next couple of days she’s cooking, lots and lots of comfort food. The cookies that she’s making right now are her fourth batch today. I think it’s mostly just her trying to keep her hands busy. She’s not used to just lying around the house and doing nothing since there’s always something to be done, and she’s getting a little stir crazy.


I feel a little ridiculous about earlier. The way I cried…it’s embarrassing but I needed it. I feel a whole lot better now that I’ve got it out of my system. My girls are back, they’re both ok. Except for Faith’s hand. She won’t tell me what happened. She a cut across her palm and it’s taking longer to heal then it normally would so I think it was cut twice in the same spot, but again she won’t tell me why. And Addison has these little mark on two of her fingertips, like she was poked with something, but Faith won’t tell me why either. She says that they’re fine and I shouldn’t worry. But I am a little worried. I can’t help it.


The timer on the oven beeps and Faith pulls out the batch of cookies and sets the sheet down on top the stove. She’s already half way done mixing another batch. I walk into the kitchen and wrap my arms around her. We’re alone right now. Matthew didn’t really like the ‘no going outside’ rule and he’s at a friend’s house. There are a couple boys in the neighborhood that are his age and they’re his new best friends. They’re out riding their bikes right now. Anyway, I wrap my arms around her from behind and press my body against hers. I give the side of her neck a little kiss.


“Faithy, come lay down with me. Please,” I say in baby talk. It’s rare that she can resist the baby talk. I’m a little too tired for sex right now, but I won’t her to relax so we’ll just kiss, maybe some light groping. I unwrap myself from her and take her by the hand. She shuts off the stove and we walk into our bedroom together. I crawl under the covers and she silently follows me. She lies down on her back and I snuggle up to her. I just need to feel her right now. I thought I lost her forever, it was the scariest thing ever, worst then the battle with the First, worst then when Angel was Angelus, worst then when Glory was attacking us. And I thought I had lost my little baby, which made everything so much worst.


“You ok, B?” she asks and gently rubs my back. I give her a little smile and gently kiss her lips. And one kiss turns into another and another and before we know it we’re in a full-blown make-out session. Mmm, I love kissing Faith. It’s one of my favorite things to do. Her lips are so soft, and her tongue is gentle but commanding at the same time. She pulls back a little and starts sucking on my bottom lip. She likes to do that. She’s such a tease sometimes. I feel her hand move from my breast as it starts to sneak its way down to my stomach and I know she plans on going lower. I grab onto her wrist and pull back from the kiss. She looks a little confused.


“I’m sorry, baby, but I’m still too wiped. Can we just kiss for now?” She smiles and kisses me softly on the lips. But just like before one kiss leads to another and we start making-out again. Ok, so I said no below the waist stuff, so it’s perfectly ok that she’s taking off my top. And it’s definitely ok that she’s sucking on my breasts. I feel a moan in the back of my throat as she slowly takes one of my rock hard nipples into her mouth and gently sucks and then teases my areola with the tip of her tongue. Like I said before she can be a tease. We freeze when we hear the front door open and close.


“Mom, I’m back!” Faith jumps off me and I put my shirt back on. We lay down and she spoons me from behind and we close our eyes. Maybe if we play possum and act like we’re sleeping he won’t ask about the huge hickey I left on Faith’s neck. I know we promised each other no more hickeys there, but when you get caught up in the moment it’s kind of hard to remember the rules. “Cool cookies,” he says and if it weren’t for my slayer hearing I wouldn’t have heard it. “I’m taking some water out to the guys!” ‘The guys’, it sounds so weird hearing him say that. “I’ll be back later!” We’ve set up certain rules for him when it comes to playing outside with his friends. He can’t leave this street, he has to tell us before he leaves, and he has to be inside when the streetlamps come on. He’s really good about following them.


“That was weird, he didn’t even come check on us,” Faith says and she sounds a little hurt. Our baby is growing up, getting more independent. Soon he won’t need us at all. He’ll be away at college, partying with his friends and hitting on girls. I roll over in her arms and give her a little kiss on the lips. She relaxes a little but she’s still a little down. I cup her cheek with my hand and gently caress her soft skin with my thumb.


“He’s growing up Faith. Besides if we wanted him to see us we would’ve gone out there. And I think staying in here was for the better, or did you want to explain this?” I ask and kiss the hickey on her throat. Yeah, it isn’t just on the side of her neck like most hickeys are. This is in the middle of her throat, right out front where she won’t be able to use her hair to hide it. It’ll go away in a couple of hours. “Besides, he still needs us. He’s not going to be all grown up for a long time.” I give her another little kiss on her lips and she kisses me back this time. “And with him out playing with his friends it gives us more free time to do this.” I kiss her again only this time I get my tongue involved. I pull back after a minute or two to catch my breath and she smiles and nods her head.


“You’re right.” Of course I am, I’m always right. “He’s only eight…high school is still six years away.” High school? What is she talking about? He’ll still need us when he’s in high school. I open my mouth to talk but she takes this as an opportunity to kiss me and she snakes her tongue into my mouth. I moan a little and slowly swirl my tongue around hers before gently sucking on the tip. Wait…she distracted me on purpose. I pull back and put my hand on her neck and rub the skin with my thumb.


“What do you mean high school? He’ll still need us then. I was thinking more along the lines of college. I mean, he has to move out to go to that.” She smiles a little a shakes her head from side to side and I know what she’s thinking: ‘poor naïve Buffy, too blonde for her own good’. At least I think that’s what she’s thinking.


“B, he’s going to be too busy hanging out with his friends and trying to get a date to be worried about us. Look how you were when you were a teenager.” I was fine when I was a teenager. Just because I was the slayer and had to sneak out at night to kill things and save the world doesn’t mean I didn’t need my mommy. I’m a grown woman and sometimes I still want my mommy. “Sure you still needed her there, but you didn’t tell her everything. You kept secrets, you were independent and stubborn. And he’s a guy, he’s not gonna open up to us ‘cause we’re his moms. He’s gonna turn to his friends for everything.” I guess she’s right. But I still don’t like it.


“He could be different. He could open up to us about some stuff. Just because he’s a guy it doesn’t mean he has to keep everything bottled up inside. Right?” She smiles and gives me a little kiss on the lips and then on the tip of my nose. She’s trying to make me smile but I’m still serious. I want her to answer my question. She sighs and shifts around a little bit so she’s a little more comfortable.


“It’s possible, I’m not a Seer or whatever Cordy is. I can’t predict the future. All I’m sayin is when he hits those teen years he’s gonna change. We might as well get used to the idea now and love the fact that he still wants to spend time with us.” That’s true. Why is she almost always right about these kind of things? I’m the ‘girl’ of this relationship so I’m supposed to be right all the time. “Enough talk, more kissing.” And the cave-slayer emerges. Not really, but you get what I mean. I close my eyes as she kisses me again and it isn’t long before she has me on my back and she’s gently rubbing the insides of my thighs as she sucks and nibbles my breasts. And just when she’s about to reach the spot I need her most…Addison starts to cry. We both groan out in frustration.


“I’ll get her,” Faith says and leaves one last kiss on my breasts before she gets up and leaves the room. She’s still completely dressed; I’m in nothing but my underwear. How the hell did that happen? I guess I better get up. I am getting kind of hungry and I need to make some lunch because Matthew and his friend usually eat over here. I don’t know if it’s because I’m the only one who will make them lunch or if they just like my cooking……...Yeah, I think the other mothers kick ‘em out of their houses and send them here.


But that’s ok with me. His friends are polite and quiet and they always leave right after they eat so I don’t have a bunch of rowdy boys in my house. That’s probably going to change as soon as get the pool built in our backyard. But that’s fine, dealing with four boys will be like dealing with Faith when she’s hyped up on mochas and I’ve had years experience with that.


FPOV


I leave my bedroom smilin. After almost ten years together and me and B are still has frisky as teenagers. One of these days our libidos are gonna calm down, until then I’m gonna milk this for all it’s worth. Then again, maybe it won’t. There are slayers our age, well a year or two younger then us, but still around the same age as us. And they’re not aging either. Maybe stayin this young lookin is a slayer thing. I walk into Addy’s bedroom and she’s standin up and holdin onto the side of her crib and cryin a little.


“Addy, what’s the matter, baby?” She’s not usually like this after a nap. She’ll pretend to cry until we come in the room and let her out but there’re never tears. Maybe she had a bad dream? I pick her up and hold her really close to me. She puts her head on my shoulder and her sobs stop but the tears are still comin. She’ll hiccup every once in a while but that’s it. I gently rub her back and sit down in the rocking chair. B always does this to calm her down so I might as well give it a shot. I usually sing to her but my voice is still a little fucked up from all that screamin yesterday.


“Book, Mama, book,” she says and sits up and points to her bookshelf. I know what she wants. She has a collection of little kids books, at least a hundred of ‘em but she always wants me to read the same one. I don’t mind at all ‘cause Mattie was the same way. “Book,” she says and looks at me with this big pout. And her eyelashes are still wet from the tears and she looks even more adorable. How can I say no to that look? No one can, that’s for damn sure. She could probably melt the coldest heart. Maybe we could use her as a secret weapon against terrorists. Have her cry in front of a T.V. camera or somethin. I’m sure world peace would come pretty quick after that.


“Want me to read to you?” I ask and she nods her head yes and puts her thumb in her mouth and starts suckin. I don’t know how we’re gonna get her to stop doin that. She’ll only use a binkie at night and if she keeps suckin on her thumb when she gets her adult teeth they could get all messed up. The binkie we can take away, same with the bottle. She’ll get upset and cry a lot and throw some fits but she’ll get over it. How the hell do you get a kid to stop suckin their thumb? I get up and take the book off the bookshelf. We have two copies; one stays in the diaper bag in case she gets fussy when we go somewhere, and one that stays on her shelf. I sit down in the chair and she turns around in my lap so her back is leanin against me so she can look at the pictures. I open it to the first page and clear my throat.


“‘I am Sam. Sam I am’,” I say and make my voice a little higher pitched. I have different voices for the characters. I guess that’s part of why the kids love it when I read to them, I’m just so damn creative. At least that’s what Buffy said. “‘That Sam-I-am. That Sam-I-am. I do not like that Sam-I-am’.” My voice is deeper for this one. I try to make it as grouchy as possible. “Where’s Sam?” I ask and she points to the little guy on the page. “That’s right, good job.” I give her a little kiss on top her head and keep reading her. Her breathing is starting to even out now and isn’t all erratic like it was before. What the hell was she dreamin about? Did she have a nightmare about what happened in Sunnydale? I hope not. I just want her to forget the whole thing so we can get our lives back to normal. Well, as normal as they can be.


“‘Would you, could you, on a boat?’” I’m almost at the end now. I can feel Buffy standin at the door watching us, but she hasn’t said anything and I haven’t let on that I know she’s there. She used to do this when Mattie was a baby and he was cuttin his teeth. I’d stay up late with him, readin to him, and talkin to him and she’d watch but wouldn’t say anything and I never let her know I knew she was there because that was my time with my son and we both new not to ruin it. I make my voice go deep again.


“‘I could not, would not, on a boat. I will not, will not, with a goat. I will not eat them in the rain. I will not eat them on a train. Not in the dark! Not in a tree! Not in a car! You let me be! I do not like them in a box. I do not like them with a fox. I will not eat them in a house. I do not like them with a mouse. I do not like them here or there. I do not like them ANYWHERE! I do not like green eggs and ham! I do not like them, Sam-I-am.’” Addy laughs a little and shifts around a little so her head is almost all the way between my boobs. If I were wearin a bra this would hurt like hell. I hear B try not to laugh and that makes me smile. She tries so hard to be silent ‘cause she knows I want this time alone with our girl. I finish the book and slowly close it. Addy gets down off my lap and crawls outta the room. I look up and see Buffy standin there, smilin at me.


“I was going to make some lunch since Matthew and his friends will be here soon. Any requests?” she asks and leans against the doorway. She looks so tired, how is she standin? I stand up and put the book down in the chair and walk over to her. I wrap my arms around her waist and let my hands rest on her hand. I lean in and give her a little kiss on the lips that she deepens. I open my mouth a little and she slides her tongue inside. I swirl it around with mine and gently suck on the tip. She moans and pulls back and smiles really wide. “As much as I’d like you to have me for lunch I’m pretty sure you don’t wanna share.” I roll my eyes and give her a little kiss on the neck and she giggles.


“Whatever you feel like fixin. Somethin simple though. This is supposed to be a lazy day, remember? We should just order some pizzas.” I know better though. She’s not about to let five little kids eat a greasy pizza in our clean house. She gives me this ‘think of something else’ sort of look. “Alright, no pizza. How about you heat up some of those chicken strips? We still have those right?” She usually stockpiles on the frozen chicken strips ‘cause the kids love ‘em. And not just ours. Mattie’s friends eat here all the time. I’m thinkin about kickin ‘em out one day ‘cause I’m sure one of the other moms knows how to make a damn sandwich. But B likes havin ‘em over for whatever reasons.


“Alright, that sounds fine. We’ll order something tonight, ok? I was thinking something along the lines of Lee’s Chinese Palace.” Fuck yeah. Lee’s is the best Chinese food I’ve ever fuckin had, ever. It was like the third week we moved here or somethin and I went around to every Chinese place in this city (there’s only five) and Lee’s is the best. And they deliver and it’s usually here in fifteen minutes. “I’ll take your smile as a yes.” I give her a little kiss on the lips and then gently suck on her earlobe. She loves it when I do this.


“I was thinkin,” I whisper and blow some hot air onto the wet spot on her ear. She shivers and wraps her arms around me a little tighter. “If you feel up to it.” I kiss the shell of her ear and she moans. “I could have you for dessert.” I suck on her earlobe again, a little harder then before and she starts grindin against me. I let go of her ear and she kisses me. It’s a little rough and rushed and I know I got her all worked up. I pull back from the kiss and she leans forward, tryin to follow me but I reach up and put my finger on her lips. She opens her eyes and smiles this little smile.


“Tease,” she whispers and lets go of me. “You’ll pay for that tonight.” I get a little shiver. Oh how I can’t wait. And no I’m not bein sarcastic. I give her a little smack on the ass as she walks away and she giggles and speeds up. I guess she’s expectin me to chase her or somethin. But I’m not.


I walk over to the rocking chair and pick up the book. I sit down with a heavy sigh and take a look around. We painted the room a very light pink, it’s almost white ‘cause B didn’t want to make it too girly. The crib, Mattie’s old crib, is painted a light pink, so is the changing table. All of the carpets in the house are the same, just plain ol’ brown. They were brand new when we moved in and we didn’t wanna spend the money to get a different color. This little girl has no idea how good she has it. And if I get my way she’ll never find out the alternative to this.


BPOV


“Ok guys,” I say and the girl at the table gives me this little glare. “And girl,” I add and she goes back to normal. I don’t know why Lindsay hangs out with the boys. She’s not a tomboy or anything. She wears dresses and skirts and pretty blouses that I really wish were adult size so I could go buy some. But she hangs out with the boys. There are other little girls on this block and they do the normal girly stuff; tea parties, dress up things like that. But she doesn’t want to do that stuff. She’s weird. “When you’re done put you plates in the sink, and be careful or you’ll break them.” I give a little glance to Lucas. Last time they were here, he accidentally dropped a bowl into the sink and it shattered into ten pieces.


“Ok,” they all say in unison. It’s really creepy when they do that. I ruffle Matthew’s hair as I walk by and he gives me a little glare. I pick up Addison’s plate off the counter and put it in front of her. She’s in her high chair and getting very impatient. She hates waiting, takes after Faith. I swear if those two were anymore a like Addy would be a Faith clone. Now there’s a scary thought. I pick up my plate and walk into the living room. The kids will be fine. I don’t need to worry too much about Addison because Matthew gets very protective when he’s around her and other people so he’ll watch her like a hawk. I stop about a foot in front of the couch and glare at Faith.


“What?” she asks like she doesn’t have a clue in the world as to why I would be mad. I glance down at Tucker and then glare at Faith again. “You gonna tell me what’s wrong or just stand their glarin all day?” I glare a little more. Here’s why I’m mad: Tucker’s lying in my spot. The couch is big enough for five people so it isn’t a big deal that he’s lyin on it and Faith always picks up the dog hair so I don’t have to worry about that. But everyone knows that I always sit on the crack of the two middle cushions. That’s my spot. And he’s lying across it, taking up almost three cushions so the only place for me to sit is at the very end.


“You know I don’t like the dog on the furniture.” Not true. I’ve never really cared if he’s on the couches or not because Faith makes sure to clean up after him. The only thing I don’t want him on is our bed. She gives me this look and I know she’s a little irritated. She puts her plate down in her lap and crosses her arms over her chest.


“Since when, B? He’s always been allowed on the couches before. What’s the big deal now?” He’s in my spot, that’s the big deal. I probably sound insane but I’m just possessive of my stuff. It’s a slayer thing. Faith is the same way. So, she’s not as bad as me but she can be. She looks at him and then scans the couch with her eyes and then she looks up at me with this shit-eating grin on her face. And here we go. “Sorry, B. Forgot you like this spot.” And she pushes him off the couch with her foot. What? No teasing? No calling me princess in a demeaning tone and teasing me because I was acting a little spoiled? “You gonna sit down or just stare at me all day?” she asks in her teasing tone. I sit down next to her and give her a little kiss on the cheek.


“Thank you,” I say and she gets my meaning. I’m not just thanking her for making the dog get down, but for not teasing me like she normally would. Don’t get me wrong, I can handle her teasing and I usually have a comeback for it but I don’t think I’d be able to handle it today. Too much happened yesterday and I’m still trying to process and get over it. The last thing I need is her teasing me because I wanted to sit in my spot. She flips through the channels for a little while until she settles on a movie. I have no idea what it is, I don’t recognize any of these actors but whatever.


“B, you’ve gotta try this,” she says and I look over at her plate. She rips off a little piece of chicken and first dips it into the little pile of ketchup and then dips it into the little pile of…bar-be-que sauce? That’s so gross. “Don’t scrunch your nose up yet. Just try it. It’s really good, B, you’re missin out.” She holds the food about an inch away from my mouth and I slowly lean forward and take a little bite. EW! This is fucking gross! I put my plate down and jump off the couch and run as fast as I can into the kitchen and spit it out in the sink. I cough a few times but I already know I’m not going to throw up. It wasn’t that gross. I rinse my mouth out and let the water force the nasty food down the garbage disposal. I go back into the living room and Faith’s face is turning red she’s laughing so hard.


“I can’t believe……you fell…..for that!” she says in between laughs. I glare at her. I need to think of some way to get her back. I look down at my plate that’s still sitting on the couch and smile. I rip off a little piece of chicken and dip it in the ketchup and throw it at her, aiming for her hair. Faith is so damn fussy about her hair, you wouldn’t believe it. She stops laughing when she feels it land and she reaches up and pulls it off her head and looks down at it. “What the hell, B?” she asks and sounds a little irritated. See what I mean? I just give her this cocky look and put my hands on my hips.


“Don’t give it if you can’t take it, F.” I raise an eyebrow at her and she gets this little smirk on her face. Before I can move she scoops up the pile of ketchup off her plate and throws it at me. I try to duck but that makes the problem worst because it gets me on my forehead and in my hair.


“You’re so goin down, Blondie.” And before I can react I’m being pelted with pieces of Tyson chicken strips. I grab my plate and hide behind the end of the couch. I rip off a bunch of pieces and start chucking them at her. She copies me by diving for the other end of the couch for cover. I duck down and start ripping the strips into small pieces. I want to be ready. I peek out over the arm of the couch and I don’t see her so she’s probably still hiding.


“AAHHHHHHH!” I scream when I feel cold slime being spread against the back of my neck. Ok, so it isn’t slime, it’s the bar-be-que sauce that was on her plate. I turn around and push her back. She has this big shit-eating grin on her face. Before she can react I start throwing my arsenal at her two pieces at a time. They got flying all directions as she tries to control her laughing and get away at the same time. I chase after her as she runs toward the kitchen. Oh no, she’s not getting away that easy. She grabs Addison out of her high chair and uses her as a human shield. She smiles and backs up a little and makes sure not to turn her back to me. I dive for the sink and turn on the water and pull off the detachable faucet and spray her right in the face. She wasn’t expecting that because I moved too fast. We’re both laughing really hard as she runs over to the fridge and uses the door as a shield. Surprisingly Addison isn’t crying. She thinks it’s hilarious.


“Give it up, Blondie. I got a whole supply right here.” I aim the faucet so the water will spray over the door and land on top of her but I can’t see her so it’s kind of hard and barely any of the water is making it over the top. Why did I have to buy the extra large fridge? I reach up into the cupboard and grab the large plastic punch bowl and fill it up with water and Faith keeps up with her threats. When she hears that it’s gone quiet she calls out, “You given up yet B?” I slowly sneak forward and stand near the edge of the door. I can feel the coldness leaking out and kissing the air, making the area around it cooler then the rest of the room.


Faster then the blink of an eye I jump in front of her and throw the water on her. Two gallons of water to be exact because this bowl is for parties so we got a big one. But most of the water doesn’t hit her like I intended. I wanted her soaking wet because her skintight clothes would have been almost impossible to get off without ripping. She doesn’t get hit in the chest like I thought she was going to. See, I forgot she was holding Addison so Faith only got a little bit of the water on her shoulders, Addison got almost two whole gallons of cold water right to the face.


I stand stock-still, my muscles are tense and I hold my breath and wait as the water splashes on her and then falls to the floor. She looks shocked, and pissed off at the same time, it’s actually kind of cute. She opens her eyes and tries to sniffle as water leaks out of her nose. She opens her mouth and lets out a scream and she starts bawling her little eyes out. She’s crying and screaming really loud and Faith just kinda smiles and turns her around and Addison buries her face in Faith’s neck. I feel guilty, I never meant to scare my baby, but come on! It’s just water. She’ll get over it.


“It’s ok baby girl,” Faith says and bounces up and down a little bit. “Mommy didn’t mean to do that.” She bounces her a little more and gives her a kiss on the side of her head and walks out of the room. She’s probably taking her into the bathroom to get cleaned up. I close the fridge door and toss the bowl into the sink. I look at the mess we made and cringe. Who’s going to clean all this up? I glance into the living room and Tucker’s already eating the chicken that was thrown. Ok, so he’ll clean up in there and I’ll clean up this water. I walk over to the drawer were we keep the dishrags and I notice that the table of five little seven year olds is completely silent, until one of ‘em breaks it.


“Matt, you’re moms are weird.” Hey! We are so not weird. I glace at them as I get down on my hands and knees and start cleaning up the water. They’re all looking at me like I’m some circus sideshow freak or something.


“I know,” Matthew says and takes another bite of his chicken. “You think this is bad, try living with ‘em.” Oh he is so going to bed without dessert tonight.