Shattered Souls

Buffy steps into the shower, groaning happily as the hot water beats down on her body. Enjoying the heat as it seeps into her skin, she smiles at the thought of the two women downstairs that actually care and love her. “And it isn’t a dream.” Buffy chuckles as she starts shampooing her hair. “Maybe that was a slayer dream. Have to see if it comes true.” Whistling, Buffy quickly cleans herself, before stepping out of the shower, drying her body thoroughly before running a towel over her hair, tossing it in the hamper before brushing the blonde hair, frowning as she looks in the mirror. “About time for a touch up.” Buffy grumbles, seeing the roots starting to show. Grabbing the hair dryer, she dries and styles her hair before finishing the rest of her morning toiletries. Heading back into her room, she grabs the tray of food, tossing a piece of sausage in her mouth chewing as she trots down the stairs.

Tara smiles as Buffy places her plate on the island, putting away the tray before plopping down, smirking. “Feeling better?”

“Feeling unbelievable.” Buffy admits, starting to scoop up her eggs.

“Here, that’s cold. Why don’t I heat it up?” Anya offers, reaching for the plate of food.

“It’s fine. I’ll eat cold breakfast food from now until the end of the time, if it’s with you guys.” Buffy chuckles as she quickly works her way through the plate of food.

“Maybe I should have let you talk with her before this.” Tara admits looking at Anya, her lip quirked.

“Told you.” Anya wiggles her eyebrows. “Dealing with all this pain, heartache, being bitchy… There was absolutely no need for it! You guys need to learn to be more open.”

“Hello!! Miss Straight, over here. What was I supposed to think?” Tara grumbles waving her hand towards Buffy.

“Not as straight as you thought.” Buffy chuckles. “I think it was on Dawn’s birthday that I started to actually think about things a little more.” Buffy frowns as she thinks about it. “Spike made a smart-ass comment about my trying the other side of the fence. Thinking there was something going on between us.” Buffy looks at Tara a small smile playing on her face.

Tara blushes looking down at her empty plate. “He could probably tell I already cared for you in a more than best friend way at the time.”

“Back that far?” Anya questions as she grabs more juice out of the refrigerator, filling all three women’s glasses.

“Probably even further back than that.” Tara admits looking from one woman to the other, shrugging her shoulders.

“And you weren’t ever going to admit how you felt?” Buffy looks seriously at Tara.

“No.” Tara returns Buffy’s gaze. “You never gave me any kind of sign to begin with that you might like me as more than a friend. Hell, until recently with Anya’s comments, I thought it was just flirting in a friendly way. Not that you could possibly care for me.”

Anya shrugs her shoulders. “Tried telling her that I would talk to you about this, but she was afraid that it would ruin your friendship. Then there was the whole me dynamic that was messing with her mind even more.”

“When did you know that she cared about me?” Buffy questions Anya softly.

“Before our first date.” Anya states calmly as she sips her juice, looking from one pair of shocked eyes to the other pair. “What?”

“You knew and you still asked her out?” Buffy frowns looking at Anya.

Anya chuckles, shaking her head. “It was when I asked her out, that I figured you liked her. That quick look of despair and heartache that you covered up quickly kind of tuned me in. Then the fact that Tara glanced towards you for a moment before accepting my invitation.”

“I was mentally talking with myself.” Tara admits running a finger over the top of her glass. “Deciding to go out on a date with a woman that I cared quite a bit about, that was open to a relationship, or pining away after a woman I loved that would never return my feelings.”

“So, see! You two were being idiots.” Anya crosses her arms, smirking at the two women. “Now, I expect lots and lots of orgasms for bringing us three together.” Anya ducks the hand towel Tara tosses at her, laughing loudly.

“Like you aren’t already having lots and lots of orgasms.” Tara grumbles, before smirking at the ex-demon.

“I’m always willing to have more.” Anya smirks back.

Buffy turns from one woman to the other and back again as they banter back and forth, before whimpering quietly. “I have some serious learning to do, don’t I?”

Tara chuckles looking at the slayer. “You have a great learning curve. I’m sure you’ll catch up in no time.” Reaching out, Tara gently squeezes the slayer’s shoulder smiling softly at the slayer. “We’re not just going to throw you on the bed and take advantage of you, sweetie.”

Buffy tilts her head, slowly pouting her bottom lip out. “You’re not?” Buffy’s eyes twinkle merrily as Tara blushes lightly before rolling her eyes.

“That’s my girl!” Anya chortles, smirking at the two women. “Now we’re talking!! Let‘s go upstairs, Tara‘s bed is the biggest one.”

“ANYA!” Tara yells, blushing deeply. “Stop that.” Tara grumbles at the laughing ex-demon. “I don’t think she’s going to be ready for us to pounce on her.”

“Speak for yourself.” Buffy murmurs softly. “I’ve been thinking about you two, fantasizing and pretty much being horny as hell. You two kissing and hugging and touching has been enough to drive me completely crazy.”

“But, we haven’t…” Tara looks confused at the slayer. “We haven’t been all hot and heavy around you, Buffy.”

“Yeah, well…” Buffy blushes lightly looking down. “I’ve caught you making out a few times at the store, looking through the window. Most of the time I head home.”

“So, she’s caught you feeling me up at the store is basically what she’s trying to say.” Anya looks at Tara, a small smile playing on her face.

“I’m sure it wasn’t just me she caught!” Tara frowns at Anya.

“I bet it was. You always like to play out in the main area. I usually wait till we’re back in the office, downstairs, or in the training room.” Anya flutters her eyelashes at the witch, smirking.

“Ummm.” Buffy bites her lips looking at Tara apologetically. “It’s usually you I caught with your hands in the cookie jar, per se.”

“And very talented hands they are.” Anya pipes up, grinning happily.

“Goddess!” Tara murmurs, dropping her head into her hands, whimpering quietly. “How come I have this feeling I’m going to be in for some serious teasing?”

“Can I ask something?” Buffy questions hesitantly.

“Of course, sweetie.” Tara looks up at the slayer glancing towards Anya, smiling as Anya watches Buffy intently.

“How, exactly, is this… us going to work?” Buffy asks worriedly.

“I’m assuming you aren’t meaning how the sex portion is going to work, right?” Anya questions Buffy, tilting her head.

“Well, that also. But more of telling Dawn.” Buffy whispers looking down at the island. “I have a feeling she might freak.”

Tara sighs quietly, looking from Buffy to Anya and back. “I don’t know, Buffy. But I don’t want to hide our relationship. I went through that before and it bothered me more than I ever let on.”

“I always wondered.” Buffy smiles apologetically at the witch. “If I had been there for Willow, she probably would have said something sooner.”

“Don’t blame yourself, Buffy. If I hadn’t been so afraid of speaking up, and stood up for myself it wouldn’t have been a factor.” Tara allows a small smile to cross her face. “Then I was also afraid of becoming a demon, so I actually figured I wouldn’t be around for much longer anyway.” Tara frowns as she thinks about that time. “I don’t know if I ever told you, but I want to thank you for standing up to my family that day.” Tara glances up looking at the slayer, her eyes serious. “You can never know how happy I was that day. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere.”

“You do belong. I think without you here the last couple years, this group would have imploded.” Anya reaches across grasping Tara’s hand. “You mothered us, you were there to listen when we needed an ear, you were the glue that held us together, Tara.”

Buffy nods her agreement, watching as Tara blushes, looking down. “You do so much for all of us, Tara. You have literally helped keep me sane since I came back. I just wish I’d had the foresight to come to you to begin with.” Buffy stands and walks behind Tara, wrapping her arms around the witch’s waist, hugging her gently. “If I had, I never would have went to Spike and I might have started getting my head on right a lot sooner.” Buffy looks at Anya, smiling gently at the woman as she smiles in agreement. “You see what you do for us? And that’s barely scratching the surface.”

“Stop.” Tara sighs in embarrassment, shaking her head lightly. “And if it wasn’t for all of you, I would be back home with my father and brother. I think… No, I know I got the better end of the deal.” Tara places a hand on top of Buffy’s arms while squeezing Anya’s hand that’s still in hers.

“Okay, enough of this mutual admiration society. What’s the plans for the day?” Anya smiles at the two women, her eyes twinkling wickedly.

“I know what you’re voting for.” Tara narrows her gaze on the woman. “We actually need to talk. Who’s going to break the news to whom. Or are we all going to sit down with each person individually? Or just have one big group meeting and throw it out there for everyone to freak out?” Tara raises a hand to brush across her forehead. “I have a feeling what we went through with Willow is going to be mild compared to how she’s going to act with this news.”

“Ummm.” Buffy looks apologetically at Anya, watching as Tara shifts around in her arms frowning at her. Wincing, Buffy smiles slightly, embarrassment obvious on her face. “That might be less of a problem than you think.”

“What exactly are you saying here, Buffy?” Tara blinks her eyes in surprise at the slayer, wondering what she might be talking about.

“Well, after you two broke the news to her and Xander, I kind of went over to her house.” Buffy starts, moving over to sit down again. As Tara nods her head to continue Buffy bites her lip. “She was pissed and angry, wondering how long I knew about you two. Then when she finally started calming down I kind of went on about my feelings, I wasn’t even aware I was talking out loud.” Buffy rubs a hand over the back of her neck. “Long story, short. I told her I loved Tara, and that she wasn’t the only one hurting from you two dating. We had a big yelling match, she told me to leave and that was pretty much it that night. That’s also the night I found Phoenix.” Buffy looks down to the lightly snoring puppy, smiling.

“So, how can you telling her about all three of us having a relationship going to be a good thing?” Anya questions, frowning heavily. “Sounds like she’ll freak out even more!”

“That’s not the end of it.” Buffy admits, a small smile playing on her face. “When Tara went over to your apartment the first time, and was late getting home?” Buffy looks from one woman to the other, making sure they know what night she’s talking about. As they nod for her to continue, Buffy sighs. “I ran into Willow at the Bronze. She apologized and went on about how we can’t help who we love. Needless to say I also brought up the fact that I was having very confusing feelings about both of you, not just Tara. I think I kind of shocked her, but she said she’s there for me, if I need her. We’ve talked a few more times since then. That night before I admitted I liked both of you, she actually told me I should tell Tara how I felt.” Buffy looks up, smiling briefly.

“Huh.” Tara blinks in surprise and shock glancing back over to Anya, noticing the shock on her face. “Well, maybe Willow won’t be a problem.”

“She might get a little freaked, but I honestly don’t think it’ll be that bad.” Buffy looks from one woman to the other. “She’s dating a wonderful, beautiful woman, and I think that with Christina being ‘normal’ and not part of the insanity that is our lives is actually good for Willow.”

“It can’t be easy on her dealing with everything. I know if I had went back to her, that it would have been hard for her to be around me all the time. I wouldn’t have done magic around her, but if you’re tuned into the other person, you can sense when they’ve done magic. And, honestly, that wouldn’t have helped Willow in the long run.” Tara admits sighing quietly.

“Kind of a moot point, you couldn’t go back to her, anyway.” Anya pats Tara’s hands gently. “I know it shouldn’t, but it still pisses me off that she treated you like she did.’

“You’re not the only one that gets upset when you think about it. That night when we argued and yelled at each other, I kind of threw what she did to Tara in her face. That might have been part of what made her a little more understanding when I talked to her the second time.” Buffy shrugs, watching Tara.

“She said last night that she’d always love me, but that I did the right thing by breaking up with her. She even apologized for the things she’d done.” Tara smiles looking up at Buffy. “I bet you were the one that made her come to that realization. She’s back to the woman she was before, Buffy. And I can honestly say that I consider her my friend.”

“Good.” Buffy smiles, exhaling a breath she’d partially been holding. “I really would like for all of us to get along. How do you think Xander will take it?”

Anya shrugs her shoulders looking at Tara. “I haven’t a clue. He shocked the hell out of me with his reaction to Tara and I dating.”

“It was very surprising.” Tara agrees softly, thinking what would be the best way to tell the group. “Maybe you would want to talk with Willow. Since you’re already discussed your feelings with her regarding us.” Tara looks at Buffy, tilting her head. “If you want us to be there with you, we will. But since she already kind of knows…” Tara grins lopsidedly at the slayer.

“I think she’ll be okay. Maybe I’ll call her later, see if I can come over to see her.” Buffy agrees to the idea. “I’m still more worried about Dawn.”

Tara sighs deeply looking at the slayer. “I don’t know what her reaction will be, Buffy. She took Anya and I dating okay, after the initial shock wore off. She probably never even entertained the idea of you liking a woman, so it might be a little harder.”

Buffy frowns as she starts thinking, trying to remember something tickling at the back of her mind about Dawn.

“There is one thing I have to say.” Anya offers quietly, looking seriously at Buffy. “I have to thank you for not having the guts to ask Tara out. If you two had admitted your feelings before I was in the picture, I never would have had a chance with either one of you. So your delaying and fighting it, actually gave Tara a chance to find out she cares for me, also. And she probably never would have if you’d been together.”

Tara smiles softly at the ex-demon, reaching over to clasp her hand gently. “I think this was meant to be, Anya. Things happen for a reason, and maybe we three are meant to be together. So, no more worries about how we came to be together. We just accept it and enjoy each other, how does that sound?”

“I agree wholeheartedly.” Buffy whispers smiling at the two women. “This is the Hellmouth after all. We can’t do things the easy or normal way, now can we?” Buffy chuckles as the two women roll their eyes.

“I’m going to go take a shower.” Anya smiles, standing. “Then we need to decide how we’re going to spend the day today. You know what my vote is.” Anya chuckles before leaning over, placing a gentle kiss on Buffy’s lips before walking over to Tara, giving her a quick kiss.

Both Buffy and Tara watch Anya sway out of the kitchen before looking back at each other, laughing quietly. Tara shifts her chair so she’s sitting closer to Buffy. “What do you want to do today, sweetie?” Tara questions softly, stroking her fingers through Buffy’s hair.

“In a way, I’d love to do what Anya’s suggestion is. But in another way, it’s almost too fast.” Buffy frowns. “No, it’s not that it’s too fast.” Buffy looks up into questioning blue eyes, before sighing. “I’m afraid, Tara. I’ve never been with a woman before, I don’t know what to do, how to act. I’m afraid I’m going to be one big huge disappointment.”

“Oh, sweetie.” Tara stands, wrapping both arms around Buffy, hugging her tightly. “Just do what feels right, what you’re comfortable with. If all you want to do is hug, kiss and light touching, we’ll honor your wishes. Hell, if you want to just be curious, to look, touch, taste, either Anya or I will be more than happy to let you explore. Just take your time, sweetie. We don’t have to literally jump right into bed with each other right off the bat. If you have questions, ask.”

Buffy releases the breath she’d been holding, smiling at Tara. “I can explore?” Buffy hesitantly questions, a small smile playing about her lips.

“Yes. I believe that may be the best thing for you to do. Become comfortable with our bodies, since you’re already comfortable with us personally. You’re just scared of the intimacy of the relationship.” Tara hugs Buffy before leaning down to kiss her gently. “There’s going to be a learning curve for all of us, Buffy. I’ve never had a lover with preternatural strength before. There are things that will definitely be different because of it. So, if there’s anything you like or want, you just need to tell either Anya or myself. Or both of us.” Tara smirks at the thought. “There may be things we like having done that is better with two sets of hands instead of one.”

“Huh?” Buffy looks up confused. “What do you mean?”

Tara chuckles wickedly stroking a hand down the slayer’s neck. “Say that I like my breasts being pinched and teased at the same time I want someone to be inside me, an extra hand would be extremely handy to have around right then.”

Buffy blushes as she squeaks out Tara’s name. “I can’t believe you! Here I always thought you were sweet and innocent…” Buffy sighs shaking her head.

“Told you before that I’m not innocent, Buffy. And just so you’re aware, lovemaking between women isn’t always sweet, soft and slow. It can be quick and fast, hard and rough, and can take an extremely long time to where you think you’re going to scream for a week if you aren’t given release. And Anya is very, very good at keeping me on the cusp of orgasm without letting me tip over.” Tara explains softly, watching as Buffy’s eyes dilate with desire. “But when she takes it that bit further, it’s a mind blowing experience when you tip over the edge. That first night she did that to me, I passed out from the immense pleasure.”

Buffy closes her eyes, whimpering deep in her throat, feeling her body starting to ache in arousal at the thought of the two women making love, and Anya bringing Tara’s body to a fever pitch of sensation. “I think I want to explore.” Buffy finally whimpers out in soft, ragged tones, her eyes opening as she looks at Tara with desire.

“Good. I think that would be a wonderful way for you to start.” Anya chuckles as she walks into the kitchen, brushing her hair. “Who would you like to explore first?” Anya questions, tilting her head as she looks from Buffy to Tara, considering the two women for a moment. “Would it freak you out to much if I watched while you learn Tara’s body?” Anya questions quietly, thinking about how watching the two women together would be an extremely satisfying and highly arousing sight.

Tara smirks at Anya, before turning her gaze back to a lightly panting slayer, the hazel eyes unfocused. “Sweetie?” Tara questions quietly, stroking a thumb over Buffy’s cheek.

“Definitely be okay.” Buffy swallows, her mind coming back from her own fantasies of what it would be like to watch Tara and Anya making love. “As long as I get to watch you two, sometime?”

“I think that can definitely be arranged.” Tara smiles before kissing Buffy quickly. “I’m going to shower, then head to the bedroom. Meet you two there.” Tara smiles at the two women as she slowly walks out of the room.

“Anya?” Buffy questions, her gaze still on the empty doorway Tara disappeared through.

“Yes?” Anya blinks and turns her gaze towards Buffy.

“Is her body as hot as I think it is?” Buffy questions, whimpering quietly.

“The woman has a body to die for.” Anya admits softly. “She’s more muscular than I ever imagined, her breasts are absolutely gorgeous, the soft stomach that I can’t ever keep from touching and caressing.” Anya sighs quietly, closing her eyes. “The hips, and just wait until you get your first taste of her, Buffy. The rich musky flavor, then when it turns sweet as she comes.” Anya growls quietly as she licks her lips at the thought of Tara.

Buffy blushes deeply at the thought of doing THAT to Tara, before quickly standing, the arousal heavy in her body. “I better see if Phoenix needs to go out.” Buffy calls softly to the dog, opening the back door as the puppy runs out it, barking playfully.

Anya chuckles as she follow’s Buffy, wrapping her arms around the slayer’s waist as she watches Phoenix play. “Don’t be afraid, Buffy. Touch, kiss, lick, suck, nibble on anything you want. To look at her, you wouldn’t think it, but Tara is very adventurous and willing to try anything you can think up. It actually surprised me quite a bit, and I’m not surprised easily.”

Buffy nods, leaning back into Anya’s arms, surprised at how comfortable she feels wrapped up in the ex-demons embrace. “Is it so wrong for me to feel this comfortable around you two? I feel like I’ve come home whenever either one of you hug me.” Buffy admits quietly.

“No, it isn’t wrong. It’s something you haven’t had in a very long time, that you deserve, Buffy. We all deserve to be happy, to feel comfortable with the people we love. Unfortunately it isn’t something we’ve had much of lately.” Anya explains gently. “I do love her, Buffy. More than I ever thought I would. Over the past month I’ve come to care very deeply for you. To even love you, which I think is kind of strange myself, with the way we always were around each other.” Anya chuckles softly.

“The night you stayed here, and grabbed my ass was the first time I really paid attention to you, Anya. Listened to what you weren’t saying, instead of just listening to your words. I think I realized at that time that there was a lot more to you than I ever realized there was. I’m sorry for being such a bitch to you in the past.” Buffy whispers as she turns in the shopkeepers arms, wrapping her arms around Anya’s waist.

“Yeah, well. Just to let you know, I remember that night.” Anya finally admits to the slayer, grinning. “I let Tara know a while ago, but I don’t know if she told you.”

“She didn’t.” Buffy chuckles hugging Anya tightly. “So grabbing my ass and Tara’s breasts are a definite cure for what ails a person, huh?”

“Oh, most definitely.” Anya laughs quietly, reaching up to tuck a couple strands of hair behind Buffy’s ear, watching the slayer. “Yes, I do love you, Buffy.” Anya whispers as she closes the short distance between them, capturing Buffy’s lips in a sweet, gentle kiss, groaning as Buffy takes the initiative to stroke her tongue gently over Anya’s lips. Allowing the slayer entrance, Anya sucks gently on the questing tongue, smiling as she hears the deep groan come from the slayer. Releasing the muscle, Anya swirls her tongue gently around Buffy’s, for a few long moments, the two women gently battling against each other, before slowly easing back from each other’s lips, breathing heavily.

“Damn.” Buffy blinks, whispering the word. “Kissing is definitely of the good.”

Anya chuckles quietly. “Wait until Tara gets a hold of you. That woman kisses better than anyone I’ve ever known.” Anya laughs as Phoenix comes up to them, panting heavily after playing in the yard. “I guess Phoenix is ready to go in. And Tara’s probably finished with her shower.”

Buffy’s eyes widen in trepidation before Anya kisses her again, smiling encouragingly at her. “Anything?”

“Anything.” Anya smirks at the slayer. “You take the urge to nip on her toes, do it! Anything you want, Buffy. Trust me on this.”

Buffy takes a deep calming breath, nodding her head. “I am so going to look forward to this.”

“You and me both.” Anya nibbles her lip. “If it’s half as hot as I’m thinking it’s going to be…” Anya shivers, the desire coursing through her.

“You know, I would have thought you would be jealous, and not want to share.” Buffy admits quietly as they walk into the house. “With the way you went on about Xander.”

“Different dynamic. Plus guys usually cheat. Tara wouldn’t cheat, that’s just not her. Plus the fact I knew from the beginning that she loved you, so I opened myself to the thought of it possibly becoming a threesome from the beginning.” Anya shrugs, smiling. “Let’s get you upstairs, Buffy. You will never be the same after this!” Anya smirks as Buffy whimpers quietly.