Never Come Back

A/N:- This is a short chapter as I wanted to leave this at a place that would then lead into the next part, as you'll probably understand once you have read it. As always , I thank all of you who have taken time to review . It means a lot so please let me know your views on this chappie , next one will be up soon, possibly even later on today! My muse is running heywire and won't rest x


Chapter 22

Buffy tossed and turned, the images spun through her mind , she saw them yet they flashed too quick for her mind to focus on them.She could feel a vampire close to her and the slayer in her raged.She sobbed in her sleep, the sensation of her attackers hands still so fresh ,it was as though he was there with her now. Buffy fought the invisible hands that clutched at her and invaded her body.

Her cries echoed through the crypt and stung Spikes ears, he tried to hold his girl and got punched and kicked back .He watched as the rage took over and her face contorted and her fangs dropped. Her fear and anger flooded him through the claim and all he could do was watch as she went through her own personal hell in front of him. Tears ran down her cheeks and stained her pillow. Spike leaned over and placed his hands on her arms ,ready to shake her back to consciousness.As his grip tightened, Buffy shot up and sunk her tiny fangs into his neck .It was neither gentle or full of love as it usually was, no, this was full of fear and hatred.

As his back hit the mattress ,Spike closed his eyes and held his girl to his body as she drank. It wasn't long before her strong and vicious pulls lulled and they became gentle. Buffy lapped at the ragged wound and pulled away from Spike. She wiped at her wet face, drying off the tears that had soaked her cheeks. She gathered the sheet around her and picked up her clothes before she went up to the upper level.

Spike held his neck in an attempt to stem the flow of blood as he went up after her.A quick look around the crypt and he couldn't see her, but he felt her,could hear her heart racing and the sobs that escaped her as she hid.His head shot to the darkest corner and Spike closed his eyes as he concentrated on sending calming vibes through the claim.Buffy's tear stung eyes met his before she buried her head in her arms that were now crossed over her knees.

Spike approached with caution, not knowing how she would react. He crouched and crawled panther like to her. He reached out and stopped , fisting his hand in the air and then withdrawing it. Instead he sighed and sat a foot away and mimicked her pose.

"Buffy.... love, I'm just going to sit here. It's okay right?"

He didn't get an answer and he shifted a little closer.Her face lifted and Buffy drew her knees closer to her chest. Spike froze and sat back down. He watched as she stared at him. He sighed again and rested his head on his knees and looked off to the side.He was not known for his patience and yet when it came to Buffy, he seemed to have all the time in the world.He was deep in thought when he heard her broken voice.

"He always said that he loved me, that he would never hurt me."

Spike looked up and in that instant, wished he could have saved her earlier that day, wished that she had never been taken, wished that he could have staked the bastard for her.So many things that could possibly make it better for her now.True, Buffy had seemed okay and like her usual self once they had her back , but Spike had no idea how rape affected girls afterwards.He'd never committed the act ,but knew that Angelus would use this form of torture on women back in the day.Spike would hear it, but when he woke the following night ,there would be nothing but a corpse, no bruised,battered and broken women to see just what it did to them.

Her feelings flooded him and his own tears fell silently as they sat in the darkened corner, on the cold stone floor.

"That wasn't Angel pet, that was Angelus.If he had had his soul ,he would never of hurt you"

"I know"

Minutes past before Buffy shifted as the hard floor started to hurt.

"How is that you aren't, weren't, like him without the soul Spike? Why haven't you ever hurt me like him, we fought but it was always a fair fight"

"I don't rightly know, except that I never wanted to be like him. He would try and make me, but I was always the rebellious type.Couldn't stand the wanker even then love.Angelus always said I was still to much like the sap I was before Dru sired me.Said that I still reeked of the soul"

Spike sucked air in over his teeth resulting in a hiss and watched as Buffy smiled sadly.

"Is that why you went after the Slayers and became a and became as bad as him? To prove him wrong?"

"No" Spike looked down again, shame filled him as they talked about his past now. "That all happened once the git got his , my soul.After finding out who's soul he had, makes sense why I reveled in the kill when he left us"

Silence fell over them again and both thought over everything.Tears still fell from Buffys eyes but she felt calmer. She glanced at Spikes neck and grimaced.

Slowly Buffy unwrapped herself and crawled to his side.She tore the sheet and held a strip to the wound she had inflicted .Tears fell more freely again. Spike raised his fingers to her chin and caught her tears before they fell. She met his eyes and held his gaze.He took his finger into his mouth and closed his eyes.

"I'd drink every tear if it meant that I could take the pain away Buffy"

She closed her eyes and shuddered at the depth of love she felt for him and coming from him at that moment.Buffy caressed his cheek and smiled sadly at him.His lips laid a gently, barely there kiss to her palm before she retracted it.

"I wish I could crawl into your arms and have you tell me everything will be okay, to be safe and feel that security there in the haven of your embrace .But I can't.I'm sorry. I know this isn't fair on you and that you would do anything I asked, so I'm asking you to give me time.Time to heal from this without you.If I stay I'll end up hurting you, and I can't stand the thought of doing that to you. Most of all I'm scared.Scared that I'll end up hating you for being a vampire, hate you for being like him, a part of him and I don't want that.I do love you Spike, believe me when I say that,please."

"I do Buffy"

Buffy stood and disappeared into the lower level before he could say anything else.Spike stayed where he was and cried.He heard Buffy get dressed and knew that she was returning to her watcher, when he heard her foot falls grow more distant.

*Wipes tears and blows nose* Don't panic and don't throw anything at me, I promise it'll get better ...