Quantum Xander II: In Wake of the Curse
folder
BtVS AU/AR › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
65
Views:
20,537
Reviews:
119
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
BtVS AU/AR › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
65
Views:
20,537
Reviews:
119
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
~PART 22~
Part 22
Xander was never so thankful for a Monday morning in his life. After he left the bathroom, he quickly dressed, scribbled a note for Spike letting him know he’d be working late and he’d meet him at Buffy’s later that night, and left.
So now here he was, after spending the entire day worrying over what had happened between them that morning - where that left him when it came to his Spike, what would happen if - no when - he got his mate back, and where the hell Buffy fit into all of this. It wasn’t as if he were averse to having both Spikes in his bed - he’d done that once before and a good time had been had by all. Hell, throw Buffy in the mix and it was “High school fantasy meets Grown-up Xander fantasy” and it was doing nothing to make his erection go away.
But he still wanted to know if it was just a dream. Of course, he could always just go home, open his night table drawer and take out Spike’s journal. If it had been more than a dream - if Spike was really there in his sleeping hours - then he would find poetry in the back pages of that book. But if it wasn’t real, if the book was empty, how would he ever be able to face dream-Spike again, knowing that it was all just in his head?
Xander still hadn’t made a decision on that by the time work had ended. He drove to a little out-of-the-way diner and parked the car. The truth was, he wasn’t actually going to be working late, he just wasn’t sure he could face being alone with Spike just yet. So he went inside, sat in the farthest corner booth and perused the menu. He really wasn’t even hungry - eating alone had always depressed him.
Xander didn’t even jump when Anya materialized in the seat across from him. He just looked up at her and smiled. She seemed to have a knack for showing up when he needed her; he really felt bad about their doomed romance - she deserved so much better.
“God, am I glad to see you.”
“Really? Thank you; you know, most men still scream and cower in fear. It’s a good thing I don’t have an inferiority complex or this would be devastating.”
Xander smiled one of his biggest, happiest smiles and then leaned across the table to whisper conspiratorially to her.
“Yeah, but most men don’t know you’re deathly afraid of bunnies; see, I have a secret weapon.”
Anya mock-glared at him and he solemnly swore to take her secret to his grave. She smiled then frowned at him.
“What happened? Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”
“A lot of things are wrong, An. We’re being stalked by the uber-evil, I have mysteriously appearing wounds, and I’ve developed… feelings for my vampire roommate. Which one would you like to discuss?”
Anya took a minute to think about that. The waitress came over and took their orders and then disappeared again. Finally, Anya looked at Xander and nodded her head affirmatively.
“Spike. I think we should talk about him first.”
“Why?”
“Because I have news, but I’m not going to tell you yet because it will make it even harder for you to figure out your feelings.”
“What news?”
“Not yet, Xander. First, tell me about Spike.”
So Xander did. He told her about everything, actually - the dreams, the bite, the bathroom incident. By the time he was finished he felt a lot better. Like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. It was nice having a friend you could confide in.
“Okay, so you had sex with Spike in the bathroom after he attacked you.”
“No! It wasn’t sex, and he didn’t attack me.”
“Whatever. And what is it with him and bathrooms?”
“Anya.”
“Sorry. Anyway, it was sex. You came, he came, there was rubbing and thrusting. It was sex.”
“Fine, it was sex. Happy?”
“The question is, are you?”
“I… “
Xander trailed off and thought about that. Was he happy? No, not particularly. He wasn’t not happy, but he wouldn’t call the way he felt happy. More like confused.
“No. I’m more confused than anything. I mean, I shouldn’t want them both.”
“Why? You love Spike, and they’re both Spike. It makes sense. When you were split in two, I loved both Xanders. I’m still angry that you wouldn’t sleep with me, though. It’s not fair; you got to have sex with two Spikes at once. Hypocrite.”
Xander chuckled.
“Yeah well, I was also under a pretty heavy compulsion to ignore my homosexual urges at the time. Besides, that would have been like sleeping with my twin.”
“Well, I wasn’t asking you guys to have sex with each other. Just me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You should be. You deprived me of a very erotic experience.”
Of course, that was the moment the waitress chose to come back with their dinners. Xander was out of practice for dealing with Anya’s bluntness and couldn’t help but blush and stammer apologies at the waitress until she shook her head and walked away. He looked back over at a grinning Anya and sighed.
“What?”
“I missed that. You were so cute when we first started dating, all the blushing and stammering.”
Anya sighed and Xander glared at her.
“I wasn’t cute. I was embarrassed.”
“Yeah, but you’re cute when you’re embarrassed.”
Xander picked up his fork and started picking at his food. He still wanted to know what news Anya had, but he knew she wouldn’t tell him until she was ready.
“Xander? Do you love Spike?”
“Which one?”
“Both.”
“Yes. I love my Spike - I’m in love with my Spike, but I love this Spike too. He’s… well my friend, I guess.”
“Could you fall in love with him?”
“No. I… maybe. Yes. Yes, I could. But that’s not going to happen. Besides, he loves Buffy.”
“So, you’re sure that whatever happens, you and this Spike will never end up together?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. Without my Spike, I’m not sure I could be with this one - not without using him as a replacement. I won’t do that.”
“Okay. Then I’ll tell you my news.”
Xander waited while Anya took a drink of her iced tea. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know, not after all that. He just knew it was going to be bad news.
“Hallie lied.”
Xander was never so thankful for a Monday morning in his life. After he left the bathroom, he quickly dressed, scribbled a note for Spike letting him know he’d be working late and he’d meet him at Buffy’s later that night, and left.
So now here he was, after spending the entire day worrying over what had happened between them that morning - where that left him when it came to his Spike, what would happen if - no when - he got his mate back, and where the hell Buffy fit into all of this. It wasn’t as if he were averse to having both Spikes in his bed - he’d done that once before and a good time had been had by all. Hell, throw Buffy in the mix and it was “High school fantasy meets Grown-up Xander fantasy” and it was doing nothing to make his erection go away.
But he still wanted to know if it was just a dream. Of course, he could always just go home, open his night table drawer and take out Spike’s journal. If it had been more than a dream - if Spike was really there in his sleeping hours - then he would find poetry in the back pages of that book. But if it wasn’t real, if the book was empty, how would he ever be able to face dream-Spike again, knowing that it was all just in his head?
Xander still hadn’t made a decision on that by the time work had ended. He drove to a little out-of-the-way diner and parked the car. The truth was, he wasn’t actually going to be working late, he just wasn’t sure he could face being alone with Spike just yet. So he went inside, sat in the farthest corner booth and perused the menu. He really wasn’t even hungry - eating alone had always depressed him.
Xander didn’t even jump when Anya materialized in the seat across from him. He just looked up at her and smiled. She seemed to have a knack for showing up when he needed her; he really felt bad about their doomed romance - she deserved so much better.
“God, am I glad to see you.”
“Really? Thank you; you know, most men still scream and cower in fear. It’s a good thing I don’t have an inferiority complex or this would be devastating.”
Xander smiled one of his biggest, happiest smiles and then leaned across the table to whisper conspiratorially to her.
“Yeah, but most men don’t know you’re deathly afraid of bunnies; see, I have a secret weapon.”
Anya mock-glared at him and he solemnly swore to take her secret to his grave. She smiled then frowned at him.
“What happened? Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”
“A lot of things are wrong, An. We’re being stalked by the uber-evil, I have mysteriously appearing wounds, and I’ve developed… feelings for my vampire roommate. Which one would you like to discuss?”
Anya took a minute to think about that. The waitress came over and took their orders and then disappeared again. Finally, Anya looked at Xander and nodded her head affirmatively.
“Spike. I think we should talk about him first.”
“Why?”
“Because I have news, but I’m not going to tell you yet because it will make it even harder for you to figure out your feelings.”
“What news?”
“Not yet, Xander. First, tell me about Spike.”
So Xander did. He told her about everything, actually - the dreams, the bite, the bathroom incident. By the time he was finished he felt a lot better. Like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. It was nice having a friend you could confide in.
“Okay, so you had sex with Spike in the bathroom after he attacked you.”
“No! It wasn’t sex, and he didn’t attack me.”
“Whatever. And what is it with him and bathrooms?”
“Anya.”
“Sorry. Anyway, it was sex. You came, he came, there was rubbing and thrusting. It was sex.”
“Fine, it was sex. Happy?”
“The question is, are you?”
“I… “
Xander trailed off and thought about that. Was he happy? No, not particularly. He wasn’t not happy, but he wouldn’t call the way he felt happy. More like confused.
“No. I’m more confused than anything. I mean, I shouldn’t want them both.”
“Why? You love Spike, and they’re both Spike. It makes sense. When you were split in two, I loved both Xanders. I’m still angry that you wouldn’t sleep with me, though. It’s not fair; you got to have sex with two Spikes at once. Hypocrite.”
Xander chuckled.
“Yeah well, I was also under a pretty heavy compulsion to ignore my homosexual urges at the time. Besides, that would have been like sleeping with my twin.”
“Well, I wasn’t asking you guys to have sex with each other. Just me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You should be. You deprived me of a very erotic experience.”
Of course, that was the moment the waitress chose to come back with their dinners. Xander was out of practice for dealing with Anya’s bluntness and couldn’t help but blush and stammer apologies at the waitress until she shook her head and walked away. He looked back over at a grinning Anya and sighed.
“What?”
“I missed that. You were so cute when we first started dating, all the blushing and stammering.”
Anya sighed and Xander glared at her.
“I wasn’t cute. I was embarrassed.”
“Yeah, but you’re cute when you’re embarrassed.”
Xander picked up his fork and started picking at his food. He still wanted to know what news Anya had, but he knew she wouldn’t tell him until she was ready.
“Xander? Do you love Spike?”
“Which one?”
“Both.”
“Yes. I love my Spike - I’m in love with my Spike, but I love this Spike too. He’s… well my friend, I guess.”
“Could you fall in love with him?”
“No. I… maybe. Yes. Yes, I could. But that’s not going to happen. Besides, he loves Buffy.”
“So, you’re sure that whatever happens, you and this Spike will never end up together?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. Without my Spike, I’m not sure I could be with this one - not without using him as a replacement. I won’t do that.”
“Okay. Then I’ll tell you my news.”
Xander waited while Anya took a drink of her iced tea. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know, not after all that. He just knew it was going to be bad news.
“Hallie lied.”