Introductions

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Part 22

"So wait. You really think dreamcatchers are going to work?" Trevor was irritated for a number of reasons as he watched his lover put the assorted circles of woven and befeathered charms up in all the corners, doors and windows of the small house. "Come on, El... it was just some old woman, right?"

Eliiot shrugged. "Maybe. Or maybe not. All I know, Trev..." He stopped what he was doing and turned to meet the dark brown eyes seriously. "All I know is... I've never seen that woman before in my life but she knew me. I wasn't in a car I've ever driven here before and she KNEW me. Knew about Joseph. Hell, she knew I arranged for his body to be sent back to the Rez." He shrugged again. "So... I'm taking it on faith that maybe the dreamcatchers she gave me could help Robert. And if they don't, then we haven't lost anything, right?"

"Except my walkman," Trevor grumped, although he had to admit that Elliot had a point. Of all the humans in the world, HE probably knew best that the Powers worked in their own ways and in their own time. "How did you know... whatever you were speaking, anyway?"

The blond smiled as he finished hanging the last of the mystical items. "Joseph Stalkinghorse was one of my team," he said softly, moving to Trevor's side. One arm wrapped lightly around the slender waist, pulling the brunette closer against him. "He was older than me but he didn't mind when I was promoted over him. Said he didn't have the temperament for command. He was right, actually." Elliot chuckled. "We became friends and... eventually, he taught me his language. Taught all of us, really. Not that we ever had to use it but it came in handy when we wanted to talk with superior officers present."

Trevor nodded slowly, pressing against his lover's side. It was the most contact they'd had since before Tulsa and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to enjoy it while Robert was checking out the barn. "Okay," he said with a smile after a moment, "Um, how did he... I mean..." As much as he'd known about Elliot, it was the truly momentous things he'd paid attention to. Like John. He had no idea of how he'd missed Elliot being... violated after his time in the service, but then again, that had been during the whole war against Angel thing at Wolfram & Hart, so maybe that explained it. That or the fact that the older man truly didn't dwell on it, unlike the way he'd dwelled on the John situation.

Elliot sighed. "It was a standard mission. Joseph just... managed to be in the wrong place when a volley of bullets flew by the rest of us. I... had his body smuggled back to the US and to his tribe. I never told anyone. Not even the rest of my unit. So you see, the fact that the woman knew…”

And Elliot's odd faith in the old woman made more sense, suddenly. "So she's..."

"Some sort of a power in her own right, I think... and maybe not even real the way we understand the word. Yeah." Elliot nodded quickly. "Uh, she also said... Robert is being... bedeviled. Or hag-ridden. In his dreams."

Trevor swallowed hard. "I... the screaming...?"

"Yeah... our poor darlin' is being tormented, Trev. And if these things..." he gestured at the dreamcatchers scattered around the place, "can stop that? I'll be damned if I'm not gonna use them, okay?"

"Yeah," Trevor agreed, turning just a bit to wrap his arms hard around his El. "Me too, baby. I just... didn't know."

It was the apologetic look on his boyfriend's face that had Elliot pressing closer, soft, full lips finding equally soft though slightly thinner ones. "I know, love," he murmured gently, "I know..."

Robert sighed silently as he stood just outside the open door and watched the two men. They looked so... right together; so happy, aside from their worry about him. He just... wished he didn't still feel so used.

Still, it was for the best, he figured. He'd wanted both of them so much... from the moment he'd seen them, though those occasions had been years apart. And they were together. Happily so. And that meant that... even if he didn't feel dirty he didn't have a single hope of ever being with either of them.

Not that he wanted to, he reminded himself. He would never touch another man again... probably.

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It was a slow, deep, hard kiss that they shared, and even though Elliot realized Robert was there about ten seconds into it, he didn't stop. His tongue tangled roughly with his lover's, hands roaming the strong, tense back and pulling him closer.

As much as he didn't want to distress their boy, he also didn't want to deprive himself or his boyfriend of general affectionate touches. He wouldn't have sex with Trevor until Robert was feeling a bit better, but... kissing him? Holding him? Touching him? Those things he could and would do without guilt.

Besides, if Robert saw them being loving and happy to touch, it might remind him that those things existed... that it was still possible to find joy in being intimately close to someone, especially someone who loved and WAS loved.

Finally, he forced himself to pull away then looked at the door as if surprised. He left his hand on Trevor's ass, though, fingers running gently up and down the pocket of the dark jeans. "Robert," he said with a smile, slowly releasing his lover, "How did you like the barn?"

Robert shrugged, trying to control his blush at seeing the two men so close. "Uh, it's nice... the, the loft especially. Bloody marvelous. The... the plasma telly alone..."

Trevor blushed a bit himself, somehow slightly ashamed of being caught, even by Robert, although he found the pink tone of the younger man's cheek somewhat encouraging.
"Wait... there's a plasma TV in the BARN?" He stared at Elliot and blinked. "Why the FUCK would you put it out THERE?"

Elliot laughed and finally stepped away from his Trev. "Because the barn is bigger than the house, baby. And the loft isn't really... barn-like. Besides, if you were looking for a place to rob, would you go for the house or the barn? Unless you were trying to rip off hay or something, I'm guessing the house."

He winked playfully then moved towards the kitchen. "We don't have much food here... mostly freezer stuff and cans but I'm sure we can scrape something together for lunch. Who's setting the table?"

Robert and Trevor exchanged one eye-rolling look then laughed and followed the older man. Elliot could be so domestic sometimes... and oddly enough, they both found it... sweet.

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He found the other blond on the porch as the sun set across the lake. He almost didn't want to bother him, seeing how peaceful the older man looked. Still, he had some questions and... he had a feeling Trevor wouldn't have been able to answer them, although he was equally sure the brunette would have tried if asked.

"I... Elliot?" he started, then blushed deeply at the intense look the man gave him. "I'm sorry. I'll just... go..."

One arm snaked out, pulling the younger blond close to him but not TOO close. "No... stay, darlin'." His arm settled very gently over Robert's shoulders and Elliot nodded at the sunset. "You see it, baby? The colors... they're from all the pollution in the air now, mostly. But it's still beautiful, isn't it?"

His eyes followed the nod and Robert smiled a bit, seeing the amazing array of shades spread over that corner of the sky. "It is," he admitted, his own arm slowly-- skittishly-- slipping around Elliot's solid waist. "I... that orange shade... it's... brilliant."

Elliot tried not to let himself hope too hard. He tried to tell himself that the arm around his waist was just Robert trying not to be as... stand-offish as he'd been since Tulsa, but he couldn't help tightening his arm around the younger man's shoulders. "Did you have a question, darlin'," he almost whispered, not wanting to scare the boy off. "I told you I'd answer anything I could, right?"

Robert sighed and leaned against the taller man, well aware of the fact that the touch was purely friendly. He paid no attention to the fact that until they'd gotten to this place he'd rejected even those kind touches. Instead he blushed again and stared even harder at the fading strands of color in the sky.

"I... how long, Elliot? How... I... you keep saying I'll get through this but it already feels like forever and I just... HATE myself right now, and I feel... I feel so... dirty!" he sobbed quietly, tears forming in his eyes yet again, he noted with disgust. "I can't even think about... pleasure… without remembering what... and I... God, Elliot! H-how long is it going to take before I can... stand to be... touched?"

The older man sighed, pulling the smaller blond close to his chest and holding him tightly. His head dipped a bit, lips resting against one smooth temple. "I don't know, darlin'," he admitted. "It's different for everyone who... goes through it. For me it was months... close to a year. And I wasn't the same after, just like you won't be the same."

He pulled back just enough to meet weepy brown eyes. "Don't wait to get back to 'normal', darlin'. Because it's not gonna happen." One hand rose to stroke a tight, tear-streaked cheek lightly. "You're never gonna be the same again. You'll never TRUST the same again. But you'll make it through." Elliot nodded, giving the young man a confident smile. "I know you will."

He almost thought he should give up right then. He'd never be the same. Elliot had said it himself and he would know. And... the person he felt himself becoming since the... event... wasn't someone he wanted to be. "H... how do you know?" he finally said, almost begging for some sort of comfort.

Elliot smiled and stroked Robert's cheek again. It was time. He could sense it. FEEL it. And if he didn't say it now, he had a feeling it would never be said and that would be the worst thing that could happen to the younger blond, not to mention himself and his lover.

"I know, darlin', because... remember what we talked about in the car? About... thirds?" He bit his lip a little then smiled slightly, hoping to be comforting. "You're our third, Robert. Mine and Trev's. You're meant for us... or that's how we feel, anyway." He watched as the brown eyes looked confused then widened, and when the young man tried to pull away he didn't let him. "Calm down, baby... darlin', calm down."

He was panicked as soon as those words left the older man. Their third? There was no way. He couldn't... not ever! He could barely even stand to consider the idea of ever finding intimacy appealing again, and here was this man he trusted telling him that he AND Trevor wanted to...

But Elliot wasn't trying to hurt him. Wasn't forcing him to do... anything, except stay in his arms. Hell, the older man wasn't even hard as far as Robert could tell, so... he forced himself to calm, just as Elliot was asking, and that was when he realized how irrational he'd become.

Robert shivered slightly then relaxed into the tight hold on him, his eyes ashamed when he glanced for a moment into the pale and concerned blue ones just inches away. "I... I'm sorry. I just..." he sighed.

"Freaked?" Elliot suggested sofly, still holding the young man against him as he willed his cock to stay quiet. "I can understand that, darlin'. But YOU need to understand that we-- Trev and I-- aren't going anywhere, okay?" He looked down into wide and frightened brown eyes. "We came to you because we care for you, darlin'. And we both want you to be a part of us. You already are to US, but... with what's happened, we know it's gonna take some time."

He nodded slowly, still staring into those wide, disbelieving chocolate eyes. His hand stroked that cheek again, cupping it lightly as he let every emotion he felt for the man before him bleed into his own eyes. "We'll never push you, darlin'. Not ever. But... when you're ready... for anything... we're hoping it's us you'll turn to."

Robert shivered again, equally enticed and disgusted by the sensations flowing through him at the words. "What if it's not you," he finally said after a minute or so of tense silence. "What if I want... someone else?"

Eliot sighed softly, his hands roaming up and down the tense spine comfortingly again. "That's up to you, baby," he admitted quietly. "Trev and I... we have no control over who or what you want. But we'll still care for you and still want to be sure you're okay... and we'll still want you if you change your mind and decide to come back to us after."

And somehow that obviously honest statement had Robert's mind reeling. Hell, his mind was reeling so much that he didn't even notice the creaking of the screen door consciously. He only knew he'd noticed it on any level when the other large, comforting body pressed against his back and he didn't cringe.

"We'll always want you, baby," Trevor murmured, his arms wrapping around Robert's sides to touch his lover. "Even if you decide you just want to be friends. I mean, I figure that's pretty much all we've ever been, right?" His hands moved slowly up and down Elliot's sides and he knew Robert could feel what he was doing as well as his lover's subtle responses to it.

"That's MY fault," Trevor murmured against Robert's ear. "I should have made you mine when we first met. I wanted to, but I didn't know you were... interested. And I know you're feeling kind of lost right now, but... when you want to feel someone touching you again... and know that whoever it is loves you... needs you..." he placed a soft, swift kiss to Robert's shoulder, "I want it to be us too." He nodded, echoing his El's earlier comment.

And that just made him cry more, Robert noticed with a weepy frown. Of course, this time he was pressed tightly between two strong, lean bodies, both of which wanted him regardless of how unworthy and dirty he felt.

And if there ever came a day when he could think about... sex... without cringing... well, he knew who he'd turn to. He loved them, after all. Even if he didn't know how or when being attracted had turned into... that. It was enough that it had and that they would wait.

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(A/N: Thanks to TheShadowCat, DaniKitten (HI, Dani! *hugs*), RemityGirl and Kat for the reviews. Always appreciated and adored. *mwahs for all* More soon, I bloody well hope. :))