Shot in the Dark

* * * * *
Chapter 22: Beginnings
* * * * *


Spike fights his urge to get Buffy to repeat herself. Struck speechless, he tilts his head slightly and looks up at her, his eyes gone soft and tender in the candlelight.

A small smile plays on Buffy’s lips. She is enjoying his reaction thoroughly. “Did you hear me, Spike?”

Finally finding his voice, Spike manages, “Let’s pretend I didn’t...” Seeing her face cloud over, Spike quickly amends his statement. “No, luv, not like that.” He reaches up, grazing her cheek with the back of his hand. “I meant, I would like to...love to hear it again.”

Buffy’s smile stretches wider as she shakes her head. “Your turn.”

“My turn for what...this?” His hand slides suddenly between her legs, causing Buffy to jump. Slapping at his arm, she laughs.

“No, not yet, Spike. I need to know how you...what you...” Her words trail off, the smile fading as worry sets in. She knows her decision to tell him may have been rash. Maybe he only wants to play? The look on his face settles the butterflies momentarily before sparking a whole new tingle. His expression is so serious, she strives to match it.

“Slayer...Buffy. I don’t bloody care ‘bout the spell. It’s over and I still can’t get enough of you. I’m thinking there’s a reason for that which was nothing to do with magic.” His hand moves up to brush her hair out of her face, tucking it behind an ear. “I feel what you do, luv.”

Both dipping their toes carefully into this new emotion, they are tentative, adjusting to it slowly. Buffy studies him quizzically, “Good. Now if I can just figure out exactly what I feel, we’ll be in business.”

Spike can’t help but laugh at her facial expression. “Well, no one ever said this kind of thing was easy.”

“Right.” Suddenly, it was starting to feel a bit too hot in the room. Buffy knew the heat was internal because the pre-dawn air was chill on her exposed skin. His gaze was warm over her face, skimming down her body briefly before coming back to her eyes. Her voice felt strangely too thick for her throat. She tried to swallow first before managing to say, “We should just take this slow...”

Again, Spike’s low laugh shakes her body with its vibrations. “Slow, pet? Is that what we’ve been doing the last couple days?” His eyebrows threaten to disappear into his hairline.

Buffy grins at him, realizing how ludicrous her statement sounds in the context of the last three days. His reaction distracts her from the fever sweeping through her body, but only momentarily. The grin slowly fades as she lets her eyes dance in his, darting to his mouth and back. “What’s the matter, Spike? Can’t keep up?” Absently, she realizes her hands have started running over his skin again, tracing the carved muscles of his chest with the tips of her fingers. Her notion of taking it slow is starting to transform into an altogether new policy which has more to do with nakedness and those damn kissable lips.

His mild growl sends shockwaves through her body as Spike’s eyes narrow on hers. His voice drops, thick like honey, a dangerous smirk playing across his mouth. “You know I can keep it up, sweetheart.”

Biting her lip, Buffy leans closer to his face, her voice a breath on his cheek. “That’s not what I said, Spike.” Letting her moist mouth hover just above his, her entire body taut against his, she freezes for just a few seconds. “But since you mentioned it, let’s test that theory.” Buffy presses her lips together once as he strains up towards her. Finally, she lets her mouth press against his, holding that position for several seconds, the moment of contact coursing through her body like lightning, sparking and burning. Free to have feelings for him beyond the physical, Buffy revels in that freedom; any barrier left to her enjoyment of him is gone.

Spike holds the breath he does not need as her lips move to his. Despite the countless kisses they’ve exchanged in the last few days, this one makes him twitch in anticipation. The weight of their admitted feelings is heavy on this moment. The kiss carries so much more than it did before. He wants it to start as soon as possible as he pulls towards her. Finally, their lips meet and the power of the feeling shocks him. He’s surprised the electricity that shoots through him does not jumpstart his centuries-dead heart.

After the initial impact, both fight their way to focus again, the awareness of their nakedness and position drawing a great deal of attention. As the kiss deepens, Buffy shifts on Spike’s chest, letting her hands wander up to his shoulders. She pulls herself higher on him, letting her smooth skin drag against his, their legs tangling under the blankets. arm arms wrap around her back, hands rising up to meet at the nape of her neck, holding her to him. Buffy feels the evidence of his arousal under her and smiles into the kiss. She dives into the kiss with renewed vigor as his fingers move up to entwine in her tousled blond hair. His erection becomes harder and more insistent against her belly. With a gasp, the kiss breaks. Buffy’s eyes dance wildly in the half-light, pupils dilated as wide as possible. Her eyes are black pools in this light and Spike quickly loses himself in them. Moving her hips in a slow circle, she grins at Spike. He bites his lip for a second, choking back a moan.

“What did I tell you, pet?”

Letting her hips continue to rotate, brushing his cock lightly, she replies, “Never really doubted you, Spike. You haven’t let me down yet...” He bites back the smart aleck comment he had prepared, their words dancing back and forth between playful and serious with little warning.

“Don’t intend to.” Spike’s hands move down her spine, tickling her slightly with the light touch before clenching her hips. He lets his hand ride the rotation for a moment before stilling her body above him. They’ve had sex too many times to count in the course of this spell...but this, this time is different. They both know it. Both fully aware of their free will, continuing on this course will make a louder statement than even those tentative words they exchanged. That broke the ice, this is going to shatter it.

His deep voice breaks the quiet. “You sure ‘bout this, Slayer?” Spike’s eyes won’t release hers. Buffy tries to listen to him over the pounding blood in her ears. Being in his proximity jams all her frequencies ‘til she’s sure her body emits a low hum. She can feel every inch of contact between them and it is simply not enough. She wonders if it will ever be enough.

Never looking away, Buffy nods, nibbling at her lip, not in nervousness, but anticipation. She knows he is not just asking about the sex, but about everything between them. “Yes. I’m sure.”

Spike thankfully steps off the precipice and brings her body down onto him, filling her slowly, deliberately. This is the first time. The first time they’ve truly chosen each other and he wants to make it last. He wants to memorize every taste of her, every small movement of her face, every fleck of light catching her hair, each and every time she touches him with her hands, her legs, her lips, her whole self.

Buffy inhales deeply as he enters her. The faint scent of freshly turned earth and grass from the cemetery, the waxy smell of the candle, and underneath it all, him. The scent of his maleness, leather, smoke, nighttime. She doesn’t stop to think what nighttime smells like - it is simply his scent. Her fingers dig into his shoulders as he finishes his slow and methodical penetration. They are locked together now, quivering in the knowledge of what they have just done. Vampire and Slayer together by choice.

Buffy’s heart, which had been racing, slowly steadies. A moment of pure knowing passes through her. He is right. He fits her in the all places she needed and some she never knew about. And he loves her. He hasn’t said it, but the knowledge settles around her with comforting certainty. No one will understand, but it occurs to her that they don’t actually need to. She understands in her gut why this works, why this feels like coming home. She just can’t put it into words.

Spike gazes up at her, her heat filling him as he filled her. He wonders if he could well and truly combust while making love to the Slayer. His mind catches around his last thought. Making love? Is that what this is now? No longer sex or fucking or just getting their rocks off...but love-making? He wonders if you can actually make love, d itd it through motions and words and gentle sighs. Truly make it. His thumbs run in circles on her hip as he feels her body shiver, adjusting to his presence.

Buffy wants to move and wants to stay absolutely still at the same time. In the cool , early morning hours, she and Spike can almost stop time, living this in-between time before the world wakes up. It is their moment and she wants it to spin out slowly, to savor it.

Finally, with an unspoken agreement delivered with only eyes and body, they start to move together. She rises and falls on him, gentle as a breath. He comes to meet her, feeling her silken skin envelop him in a tender embrace. Their movements are invested with a new depth and while it is comforting, it is also unsettling in its newness. With grasping hands and searching eyes, they feel their way through this uncharted territory. Buffy and Spike are more naked than they have been in days, as they have now exposed much more than skin to each other.

The inevitable pressure builds, their pace rising to meet the demands of their bodies. Spike’s hands grip her hips, fingers digging into the soft flesh there. Leaning forward so her breasts just brush his chest, her hair tickling his cheek, Buffy kisses him. Gently, then more insistently as her body takes control of the rhythm. Spike feels his body tighten and his hands run up her back, finally reaching and holding the side of her head as they continue to kiss. Early waves start to run through Buffy’s body. With one final drive, they come together, breaking their kiss as they fall over the edge together, breathing hard. Eyes locked into each other, lips just barely touching, they gasp as their bodies shudder in pleasure. Buffy lets Spike see the ripples shake her, her skin heated under his hands. Spike pumps deep inside her, once again wondering at the warmth of her, the life pulsing in her that he can share for the minutes he spends in her arms.

Still entangled, they kiss softly, no words exchanged or needed as they fall to sleep again, the first light of dawn just breaking through the darkness.