Losing It

Okay people. This is the last chapter before the last chapter...uhh...well I guess that makes this the next to the last chapter...whatever. My point is there are only two chapters left, this being the first. I really hope you enjoyed this fic and are looking forward to the sequel which I am currently working on as we speak. I can't tell you how much your reviews and kind words have meant to me. I hope to keep your support. Thanks...for everything. Enjoy... ;)

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Buffy’s POV

“You can’t have them both.”

I’m suddenly awakened by the sound of the raspy voice in my ear. I slowly open my eyes and turn my head to the side slightly. I see Faith’s sleeping form above me and I can feel her slow and steady breathing against my neck. She’s deep asleep.

That’s weird.

I turn back over and snuggle down into her embrace before closing my eyes to fall back asleep.

“You can’t have them both.”

There it is again. Only this time it’s slightly louder and much closer.

I sit up half way and Faith’s arm falls away from my waist. She lets out an inaudible mumble and turns over in her sleep.

I run my hand over my face and try to clear my head. I let out a little sigh and I suddenly feel a cold chill run down my spine…and that’s when I see…it.

In the far corner of the room, I can barely make out the figure of a woman wearing a black robe. She’s just standing there, staring back at me through the darkness.

“You can’t have them both. You must choose.”

I squint my eyes in the darkness and try to make out a face, but it appears as though there isn’t one, just darkness hidden behind the hood of the robe.

“What? Choose…choose who?”

The figure doesn’t move, just slowlfts fts her arm and a white light flashes before my eyes…

I’m suddenly standing in the middle of a graveyard, only I feel…older.

I spin around quickly at the sound of my name to see Faith fighting off two vamps and yelling at me to take cover…and to grab…Emma?

Who the hell is Emma?

That’s when I hear a cry. It almost sounds like it’s muffled…like it’s far away, but not really. I follow the sound to a nearby crypt and slowly peek in through the door.

The breattchetches in my throat and I’m suddenly overcome with a feeling of relief when I see the baby lying on the slab, crying.

Weird.

I take a step into the crypt and a vampire comes flying at me from behind the door, but before he reaches me, I hear the sound of his jaw crack and Faith steps up behind me, pushing me towards the baby.

“Get our girl…I got this bitch.”

She grins with fury in her eyes as she charges forward and lifts the vamp up by his collar, throwing him across the room.

“You wanna take my little girl?”

She jumps on him, beating his head against the wall of the crypt.

“You wanna fuck with MY family?”

She lifts his bloody and broken face to hers. She grins and wipes the blood away that has splattered on her face.

“Big mistake.”

I watch with fear in my gut as she lifts the vamp with one arm and pins him against the wall. She reaches around into the back of her belt and produces a large knife. She presses it to the vamp’s gut and slowly starts to twist. A dark river of blood starts to flow from the wound and the smell of dead, rotting flesh suddenly flares my nostrils, almost causing me to vomit.

And its not just the smell. I’ve never seen Faith like this before…so cruel…so…un-Faith.

The baby’s crying is getting louder, so I rush over and lift her into my arms. She nuzzles into my breasts anstanstantly stops crying.

Faith finally dusts the vamp and looks over at me with a smile. She tucks the knife back in her belt and walks over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

She looks down at the baby in my arms and then places a soft kiss on her head.

“Looks like someone’s hungry,” she says with a chuckle.

The slayer meets my eyes and smirks.

“You gonna feed her or what?”

I’m sure the look on my face more than says it.

“Feed…? What?”

Faith motions towards the baby with a nod.

“Emma…you know those bastards didn’t feed her. Looks like she took after me in that arena.”

She shakes her head with a laugh and then meets my eyes.

“Well? Feed the kid already.”

I don’t know why, but on instinct I open my shirt and the baby instantly attaches itself to my breast. It starts to feed and makes quiet little grunts as it holds onto my breast.

Faith leans over anssessses her on her head and then kisses me on my temple. She lets out a sigh anans ans her forehead against mine. She places her finger in the baby’s hand and her little fingers wrap around it.

“You know…I was actually scared this time. I mean, I was scared all those other times too, but I was mostly just pissed…but for some reason, this time I actually thought we’d never get her back. These were smarter than the rest. It’s never taken me three days to find ‘em before. Damn. I must be getting slow.”

Okay. The weirdness of the situation is not at all lost on me…but for some reason I have the dreading feeling of comfort…almost like I’m use to this or something.

I look up at Faith and she’s smiling down at the baby.

“Faith?” I say in a voice I don’t recognize as my own.

She brings her eyes to mine and waits.

“Who is this? Where is this…I mean…what happened?”

She looks at me like I’ve just said something incredibly stupid and I’m starting to get the feeling that maybe I did.

“You hit your head or something B? You know…this is Emma…our daughter.
We’re in a dark, dank and extremely rank smelling crypt at the moment…and this was me kicking the shit out of the dumb fucks who took our girl…again. I swear, this shit is getting old.”

She lets out another sigh and keeps her gaze on the baby in my arms…which I now know to be our…daughter.

God. When the hell…HOW thel dil did that happen?

Suddenly the white light starts to emerge again and the scene slowly fades away, bringing me back to my place in Faith’s bed.

“Thathow how it will always be. If you stay with her…your child will forever be in danger.”

I look over at the cloaked figure with my throat dry and my heart pounding in my ears.

“My…my child?”

I can make out the faint outline of the figure’s nod.

“Yes. Yours and hers.”

I look over my shoulder to see Faith sprawled out on the bed beside me.

“But…but…how?” I ask in a low whisper.

“The witch.”

I turn my head back to face her as the realization hits me.

“Wi.”
.”

Again she nods.

“Yes…but it would have happened eventually. She only helped the inevitable. The slayer must have an heir, so it is deemed…but evil will stop at nothing to destroy her.”

The figure steps forward into the small strip of light shining in through the blinds on the far window, and that’s when I see her scarred and mutilated face.

“Nothing.”

The sight almost makes me vomit. The figure chuckles cruelly at the visible sign of my disgust.

“Yes. Take a good look. If you stay with her…this is the face of your child. A mutilated freak, an outcast…a monster.”

She pulls the robe from her head and I can see where the scars run from one side of her face to the other and all down her neck.

“Do you really want that for your child? A life of pain…of feeling like a hideous monster…of one day becoming that monster. Well…”

She stares deep into my eyes, and I can see the years of pain and torment behind hers.

“Do you?”

And with a bright flash of light…she’s gone.

I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, throbbing behind my eyes. My breaths are deep and heavy, my throat a constricted mess.

I slowly pull the covers back and place my hand gently on my stomach.

I knew it.

That thing earlier tonight…I felt it…I felt her.

When Faith…when she came inside of me…I knew something was wrong…but it was so very good.

And now…a child? A daughter…our daughter.

I look back over my shoulder at my lover’s sleeping form. I trail my eyes down her body over her left hand resting against her chest, to her right hand resting by her side. Flashbacks of the moment in our future I just witnessed come flooding back. The images of her beating the vamp to a pulp…plunging the knife in his gut and grinning cause it excites her so…

Is that really the person I want to raise my child with?

I ponder the thought for a moment…when I hear her call my name in her sleep.

“Buffy…”

Such a deep and sultry voice that makes me literally drip when I’m aroused…but yet…soft and comforting when I need to feel safe, and she does…make me feel safe. So safe, so loved…and so home. Faith is my home…my life.

Could I really hurt her like that?

Could I enforce on her the greatest pain that a parent could ever know?

Can I really take her child from her without ever giving her the chance to be the father…the mother…that I know she can be?

And what about…Emma…I kinda like that…what about her? Could I really take the other part of her and dismiss it like it doesn’t exist? Because Faith is the other part of her. I didn’t do this all on my own.

Could I break both their hearts without even blinking an eye?

I hang my head in my hands and try to fight back the tears.

I’m so torn.

What am I supposed to do?

How can I keep Faith from her child? A child from it’s mother…father…whatever.

But…iftay tay with Faith…I know it will be just the way it was in the vision. I know that evil will stop at nothing to…destroy her, to make sure the slayer’s heir never sees a day of peace in her life.

Her life would be a living Hell…literally.

Faith rolls over in her sleep and reaches out for me, but when she only meets air, she instantly jerks awake and her eyes meet mine with a hint of fear.

“Baby? What is it?”

She lightly places her hand on my stomach…if only she knew…

I place mine over hers and bring her knuckles to my lips, placing a delicate kiss on the back each. I give her my best smile and shake my head.

“Nothing baby. Let’s go back to sleep.”

She nods sleepily and we lay back down, me moving into her arms.

As we lie there, her holding me close, breathing in each other’s scents…I feel the tears quietly slipping from my eyes. I pull her strong arms tighter around me and I inhale her scent deeply, forever burning it into my brain. I wan rem remember her like this…in this bed…on this night…in her arms.

For I know what I must do, and even though it will break my heart, destroy our lives, and tear my world apart…it’s for the best.

It has to be.

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Ready for the end? ;)