Of Birds and Slayers

Kennedy had to walk. She needed to be alone and think for a while. Seeing Shannah...after all those months, it was like a torturous game. A part of her was glad that she was alive, but the other one was really disturbed and hurt.

‘She didn’t say a word to me...she left me once again. Maybe she doesn’t want to come back. Maybe she found the life she wanted somewhere. Then why coming to Cleveland? To spy on me? To make me suffer even more?’ The Slayer’s mind was confused, and out of habit, she made her way to the graveyard, unaware that someone was following her from above. She heard sucking noises on her left and her Slayer sense began to tingle her. She came closer and spotted a group of young vampires who were having a feast. The old lady they were eating was already dead. One of the living dead, a young boy who probably had died after a baseball game, looked up to Kennedy.

“Guys! A Slayer!” he warned with a dreadful voice. The Latino girl took a stake out of her jacket and walked towards them with a smile on her face. Slaying was one of the things that could make her forget her problems.

“Too bad! I missed your little party!” she smirked. To her surprise, the four vampires ran away, screaming. Kennedy was flabbergasted, it was the first time undeads were fleeing in front of her.

“Come back! Guys! I’ll let you live a little longer if you come and fight!” she called desperately, but the vampires had obviously no intention to die. “Fucking cowards” she muttered and turned around to bump into someone. Kennedy landed on her butt and the anger rose in her.

“You’d better run when-” her words stopped dead in her throat when she recognized the person in front of her. Shannah.

“Hi...” the Phoenix said with a small voice. Kennedy didn’t reply, she was too stunned. Shannah held out her hand to help the Slayer, but Kennedy ignored it and stood up by herself.

“Whatcha doing here?” the Latino girl asked coldly.

“The band wanted to play here for our last show, I had to follow.”

‘She didn’t come back for me...’ Kennedy’s anger was growing inside her.

“Whatcha doing here, in front of me?” The Phoenix thought for a sec and frowned.

“I wanted to see you. You look fine...”

“Fuck you” Kennedy replied and pushed Shannah on the side to go.

“I guess you’ve already turned your sorrow in anger...that’s a good thing. Hating me solves everything, doesn’t it?” Kennedy froze.

“You know what?” she faced Shannah and put her finger under the brunette’s nose. “Sometimes, I wish I could hate you. But this fucking love you put inside me, it won’t leave me! And believe me, I tried to pull it out of me!”

“Nothing’s changed, I’m still too dangerous to be with you...” Shannah whispered very low. Kennedy stared at her, incredulous. She let out a long sigh and turned away. As she was leaving, she added one more thing, still turning her back to the Phoenix.

“I don’t want you here, around me. Whatever you have to do, do it far away from me.” She paused. Her breath was fastening. “You know, Shannah...I won’t wait for you forever.”

The dark brunette watched her leave, holding back her tears as she had been taught to.

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(Angie Hart – Blue)

“That was fuckin’ weird!” Faith threw herself on her bed, face against the pillow. Buffy smiled while pulling off her clothes. The blonde took her pajamas out of the cupboard and put it on her.

“You know what? If you hadn’t screamed like that, I would have never recognized her. I mean, with the extreme punk look!” Buffy confessed and sat on the bed next to her girlfriend. Faith turned to look at her, she was very disturbed by this evening’s events.

“She looked so sad and lost...Last time I’ve seen such a face it was in my mirror after I killed the Mayor’s assistant. That’s frightening!” The Rogue Slayer exclaimed.

“She’s still Shannah, babe. The thing is that she doesn’t know anymore who Shannah is...”

“A murderer” someone said. Shannah appeared by the window, her wings folded. The Chosen two tensed. “Sorry for the intrusion. I...just wanted to talk to you. I know it’s not the good time but-”

“It’s okay.” Faith cut her and stood up. “How are you?” she asked, worried.

“Not really fine as you can imagine...”

“Um...sorry to cut you but, did you say you were a murderer?” Buffy frowned and glanced nervously at her stake on the table. She jumped slightly when Shannah changed back and sat on the chair next to the window.

“I guess I have to start from the beginning...” the young brunette sighed “Faith, maybe you remember that day Kelly went to me all cocky and...” The Rogue Slayer nodded. “Ken and I had a fight after that, and I was really mad. In fact, since several weeks, I was feeling quite unnerved for any reason. My eyes were turning black, my claws were drawing out each time something was pissing me off... And I began to feel this violence in me.” Shannah’s voice was trembling slightly. The Chosen Two were listening to her carefully. The Phoenix put her hand to her very short hair and dropped it heavily. “So, after the quarrel, I needed to calm down and put out all this anger. I flew to the graveyard and slayed a dozen of vampires. I was really cought into the fight and...this girl came from nowhere, she grabbed my shoulder and I stabbed her before realizing she was not a vampire...She was a Slayer, a very young one...” Shannah looked down and violently wiped away her tears. Faith glanced at Buffy and was surprise to see she was very calm whereas herself was upside down. Meanwhile, her friend was carrying on her story.

“That night, you heard me screaming to Kennedy. I had locked myself in the bathroom to wash off the blood and I had to burn the girl’s clothes...”

“What did you do with th-the...” Faith stammered. The memories of Alan’s body were still vivid in her mind. His face when she had thrown him into the river was still haunting her dreams. Shannah looked up into her friend’s eyes, and her expression of guilt turned into panic. She swallowed hard and opened her mouth to speak, but no word came out. Instead, she burst into tears and put her hands to her face. Buffy rushed toward her and took the young girl in her arms. She was shaking violently, as if convulsing.
“It’s okay, we’re here...” Buffy whispered quietly to smooth the Phoenix.

“No it’s not!” Shannah exploded. Her metal blades went out of her hands and her brown eyes darkened. Buffy moved back, her face still very calm. Next to her, Faith was feeling more and more nervous, worried and frightened by her ex-cellmate. “I threw her in the lake, with a fucking rock!” Shannah sobbed. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry...” she began to chant. She had done that several times those last six months.

“We know that you were possessed at that time, it was the First’s Offspring who made you the target of his attacks.” Buffy tried.

“No...it happened after, I felt it. He put things in my mind and I believed it. I really thought you wanted to kill me because you knew what I had done...who I was. Who I am...” Shannah was gradually calming down.

“You’re not a murderer! It was a mistake!” Faith suddenly shouted. Both girls stared at her.

“F, I know you’ve been through this, but it’s not the same thing. I made the choice to go, whereas I had you two, and K...I didn’t want you to be in danger because of me. When this guy cast that goddamn spell on me, I knew somehow, deep inside, that you would never want to kill me. It took me a while to understand that: when I tried to kill you all, I was trying to kill myself. Everything I loved, that was very important to me, everything that was holding me on this Earth, I wanted to destroy it. ”

“That’s what you did with me.” Buffy looked at Faith who stared back and nodded. There was a long silence.

“So what now?” Faith sighed.

“I don’t want you to tell Kennedy about it. Don’t say that I came here, please.” Both Slayers nodded.

“I don’t know what to do...how to control this violence...But I’ll be around, watching over you, guys. If you need me, you can try this number.” She put out of her back pocket a little piece of paper and offered it to Faith. Before going away she faced them once again.

“You know guys, I still love you all. You’re my family...I’m not sure you still consider me as a Scooby...but thank you...for helping me. It means a lot to me.”

“Shay!” Faith called out when Shannah was leaving. The young girl turned and they hugged.

“I’m there for you.” The Slayer sobbed in Shannah’s shoulder.

“I know Faith, I know. Don’t worry about me.” The Phoenix looked at Buffy. “ You take care of her, ‘kay? She’s a big girl, but sometimes even the toughest Slayer needs some love.” Buffy smiled in response. Shannah waved goodbye and jumped outside by the opened window.

In the nextdoor bedroom, Kennedy unstuck her ear from the wall separating Buffy and Faith’s room and hers.

“Oh God...” she wisphered.

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