BAD ANGEL

A/N: I'm letting you know that I won't be able to update again for at least 3 weeks. Don't worry, I am finishing the story but at the moment I am preparing to take a State qualifying exam so I need to spend the next few weeks studying. That means I won't be able to work on this fic for a bit. Once my exam is done I will move full speed ahead with the next installment. I have my notes so I won't lose my muse. Sorry, but at this point RL must take precedence so I have to give it my full attention, so please hang in there.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. It's very B/Aus centric. And btw, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

Part 19


Buffy sat quietly on the balcony as dawn approached, her knees pulled up to her chest. She couldn’t get back to sleep, not after that dream. It felt so real, too real. She could still hear her cries for mercy and his sadistic laughter echoing in her ear. Her desperation and terror in the dream were palpable, shaking her to her core. She’d never felt anything like it. Gazing out at the coming sunrise, she was forced to see the truth revealed in her dream. If she ran now, she’d never stop. Her life would never be the same; never be hers. But what saddened her more was that Angel was right; he was inside, in her mind. She thought of him constantly; what he was doing, what he was planning. She knew that no matter what happened, for the rest of her life he’d always be at the back of her mind, an invisible shadow following her every move. Through fear, he would always control her. It wasn’t simply what he did to her body; her soul was shattered. But she couldn’t give up. It would crush her family to know they failed her. She had to hold on, if only for them.
Reflecting, she thought of her life, her ambitions and dreams. She remembered how happy she was when she got her job after graduating. She enjoyed her work. And living alone, paying her bills and really making it on her own for the first time. Having been born to privilege she felt a great sense of pride and accomplishment upon receiving her first paycheck. It seemed so long ago, like another lifetime. Thinking of her family, she remembered the warmth of Joyce’s smile and the comfort of her father’s arms. No matter how old she got, she was always his little girl. That always made her feel safe. But could they protect her from Angel?
Sighing, she looked out at the sun just coming over the horizon, the dawn of a new day. But she was tired, her eyes heavy from lack of sleep. She’d been under such incredible stress since Angel came into her life that sometimes she felt completely drained. The emotional strain was taking its toll and she was feeling it, mentally and physically.
Standing, she walked along the balcony and listened to the soothing sounds of the fountains. This place was really beautiful and so peaceful in the early morning hours. Scanning the landscape, she saw Forrest and Graham patrolling the grounds in the distance. Seems they were back in commission. She grimaced, yet more people watching her. Was this what life with Angel would be like? Forcing her mind from it, she moved into the sitting room. There had to be another way.


Later that morning Angel knocked on the door. When no answer came he slowly opened it to find Buffy fast asleep on the couch. He smiled; she looked so adorable curled up like a little kitten. Choosing not to wake her, he lifted her as he’d done before and carried her into the bedroom.
When he placed her in the bed and pulled the covers around her, his weight shifting on the bed woke her. Slowly opening her eyes Buffy froze, he was now closing the balcony doors and drawing the shades, blocking out the bright morning light.
Remaining still, she listened to his movements around the room for a few minutes until he quietly left.
When she was certain he was gone, she sat up and glanced at the clock, it was after 8am. He must have come to see why she hadn’t ordered breakfast yet. Lying back, she pulled the covers around her and tried to sleep. She hoped there wouldn’t be any more nightmares.


That afternoon Angel and Buffy sat having lunch. He was happy to see her up and about but he noticed that she was unusually quiet; she wasn’t ignoring him but she just seemed nervous and extremely tired.
Buffy sat across from him in somewhat of a daze. She still hadn’t slept much at all since he put her in the bed, she just couldn’t get her mind off her dream so eventually she gave up. The recent lack of sleep only compounded that from the night before.
Attempting to get her to open up, he asked, “Would you like to go riding?”
“Huh?”
“Horseback riding? I’ll take the rest of the day off and we can go if you like.”
“Um, I don’t really feel up to it. I didn’t sleep well last night.”
“Really? You do look a bit tired … are you sure you’re feeling well?”
“Yes, I’m just a bit …” She saw the concern on his face but all she could think of was his insane mocking laughter in her dream, “Nothing … I’m fine.”
Looking at her momentarily he could very well see that she was anything but fine. She seemed rattled, more so than usual.
Still he persisted, “Well how about a drive? There’s some beautiful country out there you still haven’t seen … I’d love to show you, maybe we can take some dessert for a small picnic, I think the fresh air would do you good.”
“Angel, I’d just rather stay in today … maybe tomorrow.”
“Sure, that’s fine … whatever you want.” He then went back to his lunch, getting her to talk was akin to pulling teeth.
Looking across at him she recalled with frightening clarity the horror of her dream, the hopelessness she felt making her eyes tear up. Looking away, she abruptly stood and left the table.
Angel caught the look of utter despair on her face as she walked away. Something was terribly wrong.
For a moment he remained seated, unsure what to do, then suddenly he stood and followed her. He refused to let her shut him out.
Entering the room, he saw that she had sought refuge in the bathroom. Not allowing her to escape, he listened at the door until he heard her telltale sniffling, then slowly opening it a crack he peered in to see her sitting on the floor by the vanity, her face held in her hands. Quietly closing it again, he took a deep breath and waited a few moments. Since that day in the bathtub, seeing her cry simply unnerved him.
When he felt ready, he knocked on the door.
He heard her quickly moving about before she answered, “Just a minute.” Then he heard water running. She was probably washing her face to hide the evidence.
A few minutes later she opened the door and looked at him questioningly.
“What’s wrong?” He kept his voice firm but gentle.
Attempting to quickly move past him, “Nothing … I told you I was tired.”
For a moment he watched her pretending that she hadn’t been bawling her eyes out just moments before. “Buffy, I know you were crying just now. Whatever’s going on it’s not because you’re tired so if you’re going to lie to me at least try to be more creative. Now I do realize that I am the last person you want to talk to but right now I’m all you’ve got. I am not going anywhere until you start to be straight with me.” He then pointedly sat on the bed.
“I told you I didn’t sleep well.”
“Go on.”
“And I’m just ti …” She stopped when he raised an eyebrow at her. “Angel please …”
“Buffy is this because of your argument with Lindsey yesterday?”
“Yes.” She answered too quickly. He knew she was still lying.
“Buff?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, why won’t you just let me be?”
“Because seeing the woman I love in tears and not being able to help her is unacceptable to me.”
His declaration was simply too much, “Don’t you understand? You’re the reason I’m upset, YOU are. I can’t stand being around you and it doesn’t matter where I go or how much I try because you’ll never leave me alone. NEVER. Be it today, tomorrow or ten years from now, I’ll never escape you. So congratulations Angelus, mission accomplished; you’ve ruined my life!”
Hearing the fear and pain in her voice made his stomach tighten in knots. If he could, he would change everything. He would exonerate her in the court of public opinion. He knew what was being reported, the rampant speculation tainting her. Unfortunately, once his plan to ruin Hank got rolling it barreled down the tracks like a locomotive, he had no control over it now. He wanted so much to comfort her but he had no idea what to say that wouldn’t sound empty or pretentious. So he did the only thing that came to mind. He beckoned to her.
Holding out his hand, he watched as she regarded it with scorn.
“Buffy?”
She looked him straight in the eye, a mixture of fear and defiance crossing her face.
Standing, he walked over and briefly stood before her. Then he caressed her.
”Don’t touch me.” She stepped back and pushed his hand away.
He advanced and reached for her again, “DON’T TOUCH ME!”
But he wasn’t going to let her push him away.
When she tried to move around him, he put his arms around her, holding her in place. She screamed and pushed away, her mind instantly flashing to her nightmare.
Careful not to injure her, he held on firmly against her struggles, repeatedly murmuring “Talk to me.”
When she kept fighting, he picked her up, carrying her to the bed. She shrieked hysterically, dreading the worst.
Sitting with her, he lied back and held her close, placing his large leg over both of hers as he murmured soothingly in her ear.
For nearly ten minutes she struggled against him, her voice hoarse from screaming. She was rambling nonsensically about not giving up even if he killed her.
Throughout her tirade, Angel calmly held her to him, his voice never above a gentle whisper as he tried to calm her. Finally, she wore herself out and collapsed against him in tears. She simply couldn’t fight anymore; she was so tired.
When she quieted down, he loosened his hold and soothingly caressed her hair. Feeling her tremble against him, he pulled her onto him and lightly rubbed her arms to warm her. For a few moments they remained in silence until he finally spoke, “I can’t give you what you want but I promise I won’t hurt you, not today, tomorrow or ten years from now. I will never hurt you again.”
For a moment their eyes met and she just knew. There was no way out of this; she was trapped.
Cupping her face, Angel nuzzled her, “I am not the man you met three weeks ago. I barely even know who that man was. All I know is that you’re everything to me and even if you never love me, I just want to be with you, to share my life with you.” He then lightly kissed her forehead.
Buffy looked at him sadly, emotional exhaustion finally taking over. She just didn’t have the energy to argue. Closing her eyes, she rested her head on his chest. She just needed a break.
When she rested against him, he gently stroked her back until she fell asleep.

Some hours later Buffy slowly opened her eyes. Shifting, she froze at the feel of a hard body beneath her. Lifting her head, she nearly gasped. The room was fairly dark but she could easily make out Angel’s face in the low light. She was lying on top of him and his arm was still around her, the other under his head. He was fast asleep. She could hardly believe that she fell asleep with him, let alone on him. She must really be losing her marbles. Moving against him, she tried to sit up when she felt his arm tighten around her waist. She stopped, unsure how to extricate herself without waking him. Deciding not to chance it, she settled onto him again. Looking around the room, she wondered how long she’d been sleeping. All things considered, it was beyond belief that she was able to sleep at all. That in and of itself probably showed the extent of her exhaustion. But now she felt somewhat rested and less overwhelmed.
Just then she felt him stroking her back again. Alarmed, she looked down to find he was still asleep. For a few moments he continued, his hand gently massaging her lower back but not once did he actually wake. When he eventually stopped, she let out a sigh of relief. She needed to get out of there.
Moving ever so carefully, she twisted until she could reach his hand and gently tried to ease it off. As she worked on prying his fingers off, she jumped when his other arm suddenly came around and clamped down on hers. Abruptly twisting back she looked straight into his warm eyes, a mischievous little smirk on his face.
“Going somewhere?” He asked playfully.
“I-I want to use the bathroom.” She replied shakily.
“Ah … and here I thought you were just trying to get away.” His smile widened when she looked away guiltily.
Flipping them suddenly, she yelped when he settled over her and nestled between her thighs before she could stop him.
“Angel! Please … don’t.” She pleaded, pushing against the wall of his chest.
“Shhh … I’m not doing anything more, I just want to talk.”
“Fine but do we have to talk with me on my back and you … being so close to me.” She blushed at the intimacy of their position.
“Well we don’t have to but I think this is more fun … and it’s not like we haven’t … been this close before. In fact, we’ve been much closer.” He smiled wolfishly.
Buffy rolled her eyes; he was being far too flirtatious for her comfort. Propping herself up on her elbows, she pushed him back and from between her thighs, which she then firmly clamped shut.
Angel smirked.
“You want to talk, well talk.”
“Are you going to tell me why you were so upset?”
“Are you going to tell me more about what happened to you and your mother after the trial?”
He glared.
She smiled innocently.
“Will you let me kiss you?”
“Will you let me walk out of here free and clear?”
Studying her closely, he conceded, “I knew there was a reason I loved you.”
Lunging, he planted a quick peck on her lips before pulling back and standing. Then moving to the nightstand he turned on a light.
“I know this will sound odd given everything but I am serious Buff, whatever you’re feeling, don’t keep it bottled up, tell me, scream at me … hit me, whatever … just please don’t shut me out. I have caused your pain; let me be here for you. ” When she remained silent, “I’m not going to insist further that you tell me what upset you but I hope that you will eventually. I want to make this as comfortable for you as possible so please Buffy, promise me you’ll take care.” When it seemed she wasn’t going to argue he waited patiently till she nodded in response.
“Good, I’m going to hold you to that.”
Walking to the balcony to collect his keys he noticed the remnants of their lunch. “Are you hungry? You didn’t finish eating earlier.”
“Um, not really, I didn’t have much of an appetite today.”
“Ok, well I will give you some space so I will dine in my suite tonight.” Then as he was leaving, “Should you need anything …”
“I won’t hesitate to ask.” She finished for him.

When he left Buffy slumped back in the bed. Absently running her hands through her hair she took a deep calming breath. Every day her ordeal got stranger and stranger and more and more taxing, she just never knew what to expect from Angel. One minute he was scary and threatening, the next he was so gentle and playful. He was so unpredictable; she didn’t know what to make of him, let alone how to deal with him. And what was going on today? What the hell was she thinking falling asleep with him? Clearly she wasn’t.
But what was she to do now? Fighting him was obviously pointless and from Lindsey’s warnings, not to mention her nightmare, she was certain that running away would only unleash an even more dangerous Angelus. She refused to spend the rest of her life looking over her shoulder and being scared of her own shadow.
Sighing, she rolled over into the exact spot where he had lain, his warmth still clinging to the sheets. Running her hand over the soft linen, she recalled his words to her earlier. She was everything to him. Somehow she didn’t doubt that, in some twisted way she knew it was true. His regard for her was probably the only thing stopping him from taking advantage of her while she slept. Not that she was singing his praises but in all honesty, he could have held her down and taken what he wanted. In fact, he could have done so at any time over the past few weeks. But he didn’t, because she had power over him. He was waiting for her consent.
She snorted at the irony, now he was concerned about it being consensual. It was almost laughable. Where was this concern when he held Dawn’s welfare over her head?
She cringed as she remembered Lindsey’s words, that she had bartered her body for her sister. As crude as he was, she couldn’t deny it. But it kept Dawn safe and now she was home so as far as Buffy was concerned it was well worth it.
Well that was the gist wasn’t it? Lindsey was telling her exactly what she needed to do but she felt it would cheapen her. That giving Angel what he wanted was the same as selling out. But was it really? Couldn’t she use it to further her own agenda? It wasn’t anything she hadn’t done before. Would it injure her further? Her reputation was already sullied, would it be any worse than what she had already endured? She did it for Dawn, why not her own benefit? Then she remembered the promise she made to herself the day Angel beat her. She was no longer simply trying to survive him; she had to prevail. That was even truer now. She couldn’t continue being a victim. But what did that mean exactly? Was it possible that the key to her freedom was down the one path she refused to consider? By giving Angel what he wanted, could she turn the tables on him? It would take some planning and extreme caution but it wasn’t impossible. But could she actually do that, be with him again? Just imagining his hands on her made her stomach turn but if it led to her freedom, was it also worth it? Was she really prepared to do anything to get home?
She was shaking just thinking about it, there was no way she could have sex with him again without freaking out. The last time they were together she had to stop and now she was too afraid to open that Pandora’s box again. No, this was a bad idea.
Forcing her mind from it, she turned on the television and tried to watch a movie. There had to be another way.


But as the hours passed her mind kept returning to it, nagging at her. She knew very well there was no other way and if she didn’t act soon, Angel would move back in and she would have little bargaining power, at least this way she could do it on her terms. She had to shift the odds more in her favor. Considering it again, she stood and paced the room, wondering what good it would achieve, what great plan was she going to come up with?
Then it occurred to her. A phone.
Prior to her confinement she had noticed the lack of telephones throughout the house but there were phone lines, just no actual telephones. That was beyond strange, particularly in a house that size. She assumed Angel must have instructed the staff to remove the phones before they arrived. But there had to be at least one somewhere in the house. Deciding the most likely place was Angel’s office; she wondered what else was in there. Perhaps a computer with Internet access? Of course, his office was off limits to her and she was restricted to her room but if she could somehow get his keys, maybe she could pull it off. All she had to do was call home and before Angel and the others figured out what happened, the cavalry would be on its way. It wasn’t a guarantee but if Angel and his men were incarcerated that would definitely help put her at ease. The more she thought about it the more she knew she couldn’t go on like this. She had to do it. The plan was risky but it was also very simple and something she could pull off. It would take precise timing and perhaps more than one attempt but if she succeeded, it would definitely be worth it. This time she wasn’t going to make the same mistake as she did with the gate, she was going to take her time and watch; she needed to study Angel and his men. It would be hard but if she bided her time, she knew the perfect opportunity would eventually present itself. Trouble was she had to get out of her room first and get Angel to trust her somewhat. That was a challenge in itself and would require more than she ever wanted to give. She felt ill just thinking about it. But the lure of a telephone was too much to resist. She had to at least try. She’d just have to take it one day at a time, one step at a time. And the first step was getting out of that room.

Standing at the bedroom door, she paused, her stomach doing flip-flops. What if she went in there and things got out of control? What if she wanted to back out and he wouldn’t let her? She felt herself start to hyperventilate.
Backing away from the door, she forced her self to take deep calming breaths. She could do this. She did it for Dawn; she could do it for herself. She just needed Angel to lift her confinement and remove the guard from her door. It might take some time but that was it. Simple. This was a means to an end, that’s all. Then she thought back to what Angel said, she was everything to him. That’s why he hadn’t forced her in the past few weeks and that’s why he wouldn’t now. She just needed to keep her cool.

Glancing at the clock she saw that it just after midnight. She had better do it before she changed her mind. So taking a deep breath she opened her door and came face to face with Adam. Keeping her fear hidden, she stood straight and tall, her head high.
“I want to see Angel.”
“Mr. Rayne has retired for the night.”
“He wouldn’t mind if I disturbed him.”
“I cannot let you leave this room.”
Indignant, “Perhaps but Angel will not be happy when I tell him that you stopped me from seeing him.”
When he looked at her curiously she added, “I know for a fact that he would want to see me.”
Adam was a little taken aback by her authoritative stance and tone. She barely resembled the terrified young woman Angel carried in two nights before. Granted he was aware that Angel was trying to woo her but he had strict instructions not to let her leave. But her self-assured air made him wonder exactly where things stood between them. “I will escort you to his suite then he can decide.” Adam then stepped aside and escorted her down the hall.
Buffy was surprised to find that all this time Angel was only a few doors away from her. Standing outside his door, she suddenly didn’t feel quite as confident as she appeared just moments before. What if he turned her away? Nah, that was ridiculous, he’d never be so stupid. So mustering her courage, she knocked.

She knocked three times before Angel came to the door.
“Yes …” He answered groggily as he rubbed his eyes. His hair was sticking up in every possible direction and he was wearing nothing more than a pair of low-slung pajama bottoms. But despite his disheveled appearance, he still managed to look incredibly sexy. Buffy swallowed hard.
Then suddenly he saw her, “Buffy?”
Before she responded Adam jumped in, “I’m sorry Sir, she insisted on seeing you.”
“Uh, is there a problem Buff?”
“N-No, I-I want to speak with you.” She stammered, all of her earlier bravado gone.
Furrowing his brow in suspicion, he stepped aside, allowing her entry. He then looked at Adam, “It’s ok. If there’s a problem I’ll call you.” Adam then retreated to one of the adjacent rooms.
Closing the door, Angel uneasily ran his hands through his hair. He had no idea why she was there but now that she was he didn’t want to scare her off. Slowly walking back into the room, he found her staring out a window. Careful not to startle her, he pointedly cleared his throat as he came up behind her and gently touched her shoulder.
“You wanted to talk?”
“Yes.” Her voice broke with the tension.
Seeing how nervous she was, he asked, “Would you care for some water first?”
“Uh, yes please.”
“Please make yourself comfortable.” He gestured to the armchair as he walked over to his nightstand and poured two glasses of water from a small pitcher.
Handing her one, he sat on the bed and slowly sipped his while he watched her ponder her next move.
Both glasses were empty again before she said anything.
Finally summoning her strength, “I want to talk about your offer.”
“Pardon me?” He thought he might be hallucinating.
“Your offer, it’s still on the table isn’t it?”
“Oh yes, very much so … are you accepting it?”
“Maybe … I just have two conditions.”
“Go on.”
“If I accept your offer I want two guarantees … in writing.” When he waited patiently, “I want you to give up your vendetta against my father. If I’m to stay with you then you must call off your FBI spies and leave my family alone.”
“And the other?”
“I insist on using contraception.”
“That’s all?”
“Yes.” She wanted to ask that he also remove the prison guards from her door but she didn’t want to make him any more suspicious than he already was. She’d ask for that later.
“Your requests are more than reasonable, I’m sure I can meet those conditions.”
“Fine.” she then remained seated, unsure how to proceed.
“Is there anything else?”
“Um, no.” This wasn’t going how she’d expected. Surely she wouldn’t have to make the first move.
As if reading her mind, Angel slowly reached into his nightstand and pulled out a condom, deliberately placing it in her line of sight. He then held out his hand to her, the gesture exactly the same as before. She looked at the condom, his hand and then at him before she stood. Standing before him, Buffy forced herself not to see the man from her nightmare, not the man who had hurt her but the man to whom she was everything. She needed to see the man that Lindsey had known from childhood. For a few moments they simply took in the other’s presence, adjusting to the closeness. As the seconds crawled by, Buffy was acutely aware of her heart pounding in her chest. The blood rushing through her veins sounded like a wind tunnel in her head. She was certain she would faint.
Placing his hands on her waist, Angel brought her even closer. Looking into her eyes, he saw her fear and uncertainty as he slowly moved his hands up her trembling body. He had to take this slow.
Desperate to get it over with Buffy suddenly brought her hands up and shakily began unbuttoning her pajama top but he rested his hands on hers, halting her. When their eyes met, he lowered his mouth to her hands and kissed them lightly then he shook his head. He wouldn’t take her like that. This was not going to be a fuck.
Running his hands through her hair, he held the back of her head and gradually brought her mouth to his. For several long moments their mouths lingered, their lips barely touching as they reacquainted themselves. It was familiar and strange all at the same time.
Buffy wanted to bolt, the intimacy was too much and her entire body was screaming retreat but she stayed rooted in place, allowing him to touch her. She was desperately trying to get back to that place in her mind she often escaped to whenever she was intimate with him. But that wasn’t happening. She was very much there in the moment and it was unnerving.
Fully kissing her, Angel playfully nipped at her, encouraging her to participate but he knew she was holding back. Taking the initiative, he wrapped his arms around her and hoisted her into the bed. Pausing momentarily, he waited for her to protest but when she didn’t he continued exploring her mouth, gently coaxing her along.
Within moments their tentative kisses had become heated and frantic but Angel could tell it wasn’t passion that was driving her, she was just eager to get it over with.
Hoping to rekindle her passion, he slowed things down and kissed along her neck, making his way to where she had stopped unbuttoning her top. The exposed valley of her breasts beckoned to him like a siren and he lavished the creamy skin with small ardent kisses. But he could feel the tension coiled tightly within her. She was clutching the pillow so tightly and her eyes were squeezed shut so tight that he thought she’d give herself a headache. And her ragged breathing sounded more like an impending panic attack. She clearly was not enjoying it. Gradually his kisses abated and for a few moments he simply nuzzled her, then prying her hands from the pillows he kissed them adoringly.
“Let’s just sleep tonight.” Her eyes flew open at his words and he saw the immense relief in their depths, her unshed tears glistening in the moonlight and instantly knew he was making the right decision. She was trembling with anxiety, not need. Although it had been a while, he was attuned to her body enough to know that she simply wasn’t ready for this.
Refastening the rest of her buttons, he gently pulled her into his arms. Despite his throbbing erection, he was satisfied just to have her next to him again. He could wait. Wordlessly, he began stroking her arms to comfort her.
Resting her head on his bare chest, Buffy snuggled into his embrace, her pulse still racing. What had she gotten herself into? Once she decided to go ahead with her plan, she thought she could go through with it, that she could use sex to regain the power he had taken away from her. She knew it would be difficult but she never expected it to be so overwhelming. She had rushed in too quickly and hadn’t anticipated the intensity of her emotions. She didn’t want to think what might have happened had he not stopped. But he did and she was grateful for it. It was the reassurance she needed.
For quite some time both remained wide awake, neither speaking, each in their own world but as the hours passed eventually they drifted to sleep.


Some hours later Angel slowly woke, his face buried in a mountain of silky jasmine-scented golden strands. Inhaling deeply, he wrapped his arms closely around the young woman curled up next to him and nuzzled her. If only every morning could begin like this. Watching her sleep, he wondered why she changed her mind, what made her come to his bed? He might be smitten but he wasn’t stupid, she was up to something. Whatever was going on in her little head he had to hand it to her; this was certainly a curve ball he hadn’t expected. Granted, it wasn’t quite the fireworks he had hoped for but at least she was there and more importantly, not fighting him off. Now he just had to be patient and let it happen. Recalling her conditions, he wondered what Warren and Parker were up to anyway. It had been weeks since they contacted Lindsey but then again once they left the country he hadn’t expected them to. It’s not like they knew how to reach him or even where he was. Sighing, he made a mental note to sever all ties with them. He didn’t like having loose ends.
Her other condition was interesting. Contraception. Well he had an ample supply of condoms in the nightstand so that was definitely not an issue. Fortunately once he decided to keep Buffy he asked Lindsey to pick up some shortly after their arrival to Jamaica. Question was would he ever get to use them? Smiling, he snuggled closer to his love, in due time.

Eventually Buffy also woke. She slowly drifted awake to the aroma of blueberry pancakes. Opening her eyes she saw Angel sitting in his bathrobe on the balcony reading a newspaper. When she sat up, he called to her, “Ah, you’re awake.”
She nodded.
Then he picked up a breakfast tray and brought it to the bed. The large platter was laden with blueberry pancakes, syrup, whipped cream, toast, fresh fruit and juice. It was a small feast. But it was a feast for two. Unraveling the cloth napkins, he placed one in her lap and then proceeded to share the sumptuous delights. He poured a generous helping of syrup on the stack of pancakes then added a dollop of whipped cream. Then playfully swirling his finger through it, he tasted the sweet fluffy mixture, his eyes gleaming with desire.
Buffy tried to ignore his antics, not to mention the flash of heat that streaked through her core, she didn’t want to remember the naughty things that mouth was capable of.
Not fooled in the least Angel smirked, the more she tried to appear unaffected the more he knew she was. But he would behave, for the most part anyway.
Keeping to himself, he proceeded to eat and forewent the idea of feeding her. That was probably too much too soon. So the two ate quickly and without incident.
Afterwards, Angel removed the tray and placed it on the floor then turned back to her just as she was getting up. Tugging her back against the pillows, he hovered over her briefly, “Thank you.”
Puzzled, she asked, “For what?”
Snuggling against her, “For trying.”

It was another hour of soft kisses and touches before Buffy managed to untangle herself from Angel. She still felt nauseated being so close to him but she had to keep focused on her goal. She was going to get home or die trying. As he escorted her to her room, she couldn’t help noticing the goofy smile on his face. He was almost giddy. She never imagined that she could have that kind of effect on a man. It was perfect.
Standing by her door, he asked, “Would you care for that horse ride today?”
“Uh, sure … I think that would be fun.”
“Great, I’ll make the arrangements and then meet you here just before noon.”
She nodded.
Then as she turned to leave, “By the way, I am lifting your confinement but Luke and Adam will still be posted out here … when you leave they will escort you whenever Lindsey or I can’t.”
Her heart sank; she was still stuck with Luke and Adam.
But that was ok, at least her confinement was lifted. Given time she’d get rid of those goons as well. She nodded.
Leaning in, Angel then kissed her forehead. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

Walking to his office, Angel pondered what Buffy might be up to. He knew lifting her confinement was risky but if he was ever to have a chance with her then she needed to at least feel free to come to him. Having to go through Luke or Adam each time would probably discourage her. And he didn’t want that. So he would give a little but he wasn’t about to let her roam unsupervised.

Standing in the shower, Buffy let the hot spray ease the tension from her body. She tried not to think of what she was doing. She needed to stay focused. She’d deal with the consequences later. As she scrubbed, she paid no heed to the tears blurring her vision.

A few hours later Buffy stood in front of the mirror in the closet dressed in her equestrian gear. The sleek boots and breeches, her riding shirt, gloves and helmet made her look very sharp. All she needed now was a whip and she was ready to go.
On his word, Angel arrived in his own riding attire a few minutes before noon. From his stifled groan, she knew exactly how much he appreciated her sleek outfit.
Walking together, they made their way to the car and within minutes were on their way.


Pulling up to Quentin’s estate Buffy and Angel went directly to the stables. Heading into the tack room, Angel pulled out his gear. As he prepared the saddle he asked, “How much riding experience do you have?”
“Um, I took classes for a few years but I gave it up after high school. I haven’t since.”
“So that would be 5 or 6 years now right?”
She nodded.
“Well you should still be pretty comfortable on a horse, there are some things you never forget but would you mind if we shared one today?” Gesturing to the horses, “These guys can be a bit temperamental so I’d rather not take the chance.”
“Fine, if you think it’s necessary but won’t we be a bit heavy?”
“Hardly, you weigh little more than a feather. I’m sure he can handle it. Besides, better safe than sorry.”
“Hmm and this is not all some elaborate scheme to be close to me?”
“Well, it might be.” He smiled devilishly.
Buffy shook her head; he was absolutely incorrigible.
Angel then led a very tall black thoroughbred out of its stall and tethered him. As he saddled the horse, Buffy cautiously approached with a few carrots in hand. She smiled when the horse’s soft muzzle brushed against her palms as he accepted her offering. She then gently stroked its sleek coat.
“Is this one of yours?”
“Yes, he is the last one I got.”
“What’s his name?”
“Ares.”
“As in the god of war?”
Angel smiled.
“I guess that’s fitting considering his owner.”
“Very cute my dear but no, the name has nothing to do with me. The breeder had intended to keep him so she named him Ares and believe me, he lives up to it; at his best he’s a fierce thing and well, at his worst he is an absolute beast.”
“Hmm, I’m certain some of that is your influence.”
Smirking, “Well we definitely have one thing in common … very few can tame us.”
Buffy ignored his pointed remark.
“Anyway, after much negotiation I finally managed to persuade her to sell him to me.”
“Negotiation?” She asked skeptically, “What did you do, bust her knee caps?”
Angel’s roar of laughter made Ares start.
“Oh Buffy, you are adorable. Seen a few too many Godfather movies have you?”
Resting her hands on her hips she challenged, “You think I don’t know what you do? Why else would you have those Frankenstein zombies and that freak Caleb working for you?”
“Frankenstein zombies?” After a beat, “Do you mean Luke and Adam?”
At her shameless challenge Angel clutched his stomach in laughter. He had never heard anyone describe his men so. He was turning red in the face, he could hardly breathe. She had him in stitches.
When he seemed to regain his composure she asked, “Are you denying it?”
Turning serious he looked at her, “No, I’m not denying it but Buff, that’s not all I do. About 90% of my work is legitimate. I deal mostly in international trade and banking. I employ hundreds of people around the world and I pay taxes like everyone else. Like the majority of my work, procuring Ares was a normal, non-violent transaction”
“And the rest?”
“The rest is an ugly business. It’s illegal and often dangerous. It’s nothing I’d wish to expose you to further.”
“You don’t want me to ask about it?”
“Uh, no. You can ask but I will do everything in my power to shield you from it.”
“If it’s so ugly why not just walk away?”
“It’s not as easy as that. Once you’re in this business you tend to make friends as well as enemies. Pulling out would take me out of the circuit and definitely leave me blind. It’s almost impossible to get out while at the same time keep tabs on everyone.”
“So you do this because you’re afraid of what might happen if you leave?”
“Well I’m not afraid for myself but I am worried for those I love. Of course until now that wasn’t a concern of mine.”
She nervously looked away.
Continuing, “It was easy enough for me to find you.”
She looked up curiously then, “And how exactly did you find me?”
“Easy. I looked.”
At her unsatisfied expression, “Buffy, I’m not some common citizen without family, education or connections. My business affairs often require that I rub elbows with politicians, celebrities and other wealthy individuals. Oddly enough, you and I move in many of the same circles. To be honest, I’m surprised we never met before this.”
“So you asked around and then what?”
“I went to your apartment building and for weeks on end I parked outside and watched you come and go. I knew when you went to work and when you got home. I saw you go for your morning jogs and stop at the corner newsstand to buy a bottled water and newspaper on your way back.”
“You were stalking me?”
“I was watching you.”
“Is there a difference?” She had no idea why she was so surprised. He was a kidnapping rapist; his being a stalker too was hardly a stretch of the imagination.
“Perhaps not but my point is, it didn’t take much for me to learn your routine and find the perfect opportunity to strike. I won’t have you so vulnerable.”
Buffy wasn’t sure if he was trying to frighten or reassure her.
Sensing that his admission was having the opposite effect than he intended, Angel amended, “I’m not proud of it. I’m just saying that you were an open target.”
After a moment she nodded thoughtfully. Having this conversation was beyond weird but it certainly opened her eyes to how Angel operated.
Focusing on the horse again, she tried to change the subject. “He’s an impressive animal.”
“Yes he is and he seems to like you. Would you like to lead him out?”
“Sure.” Buffy then took the reins and led the horse out.
After a short distance they came to a step and Angel helped her mount the horse. He quickly followed, settling in behind her and the two then set out.
Having learned this new information Buffy felt extremely uncomfortable with him so close to her. How could she have been so oblivious to his presence? Granted, before he took her she had no idea who he was or what he looked like but knowing that he was able to watch her undetected for so long sent chills down her spine. Recalling her nightmare, she was now convinced more than ever that she had to end this herself. She had to stay focused.
Guiding the horse along the path, Angel showed Buffy the many breathtaking views on Quentin’s property. As they rode he could tell that she was still rather unsettled by what he told her. He hoped it wouldn’t push her away again. Continuing, they rode through lush pastures and idyllic hillsides until they came to an open field.
Angel then pulled Ares to a halt, taking a few moments to enjoy their surroundings. That’s when she saw it, a picnic basket sitting on a large blanket spread under a tall shady tree.
“I thought you might enjoy lunching out here.” He whispered in her ear.
Feeling her shiver, he wrapped his arms more closely around her, “Are you cold?”
“No. I’m fine.”
“Are you really?”
“Yes.”
“Ah, so my little confession back there didn’t bother you? Not even a little bit?”
“Everything about you bothers me Angel but somehow I’m managing to deal with it.”
“Hmm, well I’m glad you feel free to be so honest with me.”
“That is what you want isn’t it?”
“Certainly but that’s not all I want.”
“Oh I don’t doubt that.”
Smirking mischievously, “Well I want that too but that’s not where I was going with it.”
Curious, she turned slightly to face him.
“I’m hoping that eventually you won’t only see me as a monster.”
Their eyes met and for a brief moment they gazed at each other. As she began to look away, he tenderly held her chin, his eyes boring into hers. Moving in, he softly brushed his lips against hers, entreating her to reciprocate. Initially she didn’t, her every instinct to recoil making her hesitate but she held firm and allowed his kiss. It was awkward with him seated behind her but as their mouths mingled Angel infused every bit of his urgency and emotion into it. Within moments they were engaged in a searing kiss.
That was until Ares took an impatient step forward, startling them.
Instantly they pulled apart, the moment broken.
Embarrassed by his horse’s poor manners, Angel offered, “Well, I said he was temperamental.”
“That you did.” Buffy agreed still blushing slightly. She was rather glad for Ares’ impertinence.
Tightening the reins, Angel moved Ares along. Then “Would you tell me something?”
“Maybe.”
“Why did you come to me last night?”
She froze, her mind frantically thinking of some response. “I-I don’t know. I know I can’t fight you anymore, it’s just too much.” She knew how lame it sounded.
Angel knew that wasn’t everything. She had to have a very compelling reason for going to him. Sighing, he’d have to find another way to get her to come clean.
Making their way over, Angel dismounted and led Ares to a nearby fence, tethering him. He then held Buffy’s waist and helped her down.
Settling down to their picnic, Angel pulled out a bottle of chardonnay and several dishes.
“I hope you like stuffed chicken and pasta salad.”
“What’s it stuffed with?”
“Um, I think chopped vegetables, rice and mushrooms … you like?”
She shrugged indifferently.
Serving them, he placed a generous portion on her plate along with some of the garden salad. “Red wine vinaigrette for milady.” He smiled as he poured the dressing. He then placed the dish on a tray and set it in her lap before tending to his own.
As they ate, Angel could feel the tension building from their earlier conversation. He tried to strike up some small talk.
“So, tell me what you do at work.”
She looked at him somewhat surprised then answered, “Well, I, I mainly do research on human rights in different countries. I help prepare situation analysis reports and progress reports … things like that.”
“Do you enjoy it?”
“Yeah, the documentation can be a bit of a pain but the work we do is great. My supervisor, Robin, and I were working on the issue of street children in Brazil. We were supposed to do a presentation a few weeks ago … but that was … before.” She stopped, looking down at her food, her appetite suddenly gone.
“Before me?” He asked gently.
When she didn’t answer, he set aside his lunch and moved over to her. When she stiffened at his closeness, he pulled her into his arms, caressing her. For a brief moment she seemed to withdraw from him again but eventually she allowed herself to meld to his embrace.
“Were you excited about this project?” He prodded gently.
She nodded.
“Would you mind telling me about the street children?”
She looked at him, somewhat reluctant to share more of her life.
“You don’t have to but I’m sure you worked hard on it, you should get to tell someone.”
“It would only bore you.”
“I’m sure it won’t. Nothing that you do could possibly bore me.”
She pulled back and really looked at him, “Why do you want to be with me? You hardly even know me.”
“I’ve known you longer than you know. All I know is you.”

tbc...


A/N: All I have to say is do not assume anything.