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Chapter Nineteen

She was a mess. That was the only way to describe it. The rest of her night had been dreamless, but she had been restless in her sleep. She must have tossed and turned forever before finally falling into an exhausted sleep sometime after five. Her alarm went off at nine and she had groggily forced herself out of bed to get ready for work. She felt like a zombie and after dropping the soap in the shower a dozen times, dropping the shampoo on her foot, spilling her cereal and then starting to eat with a fork instead of a spoon, Buffy had just about had it. She shoved her bowl away, and buried her face in her hands. This was useless.

"Sweetheart, I thought I told you not to go in today." Angel.

She kept her face in her hands, frozen. She was so not ready to face him right now. Her dream haunted her. She kept seeing him, how handsome he was, remembering how much she craved his touch...would she find him the same in the day? Or did her dream self's feelings dissipate with the day? She was afraid to look upon him and find that his eyes were in fact a warm chocolate brown and that she craved his touch as much as she did in her dream.

"Yeah, I know."

"Are you all right?"

"I'm tired."

"Go back to bed then."

"I'm thinking I will."

"Buffy, look at me."

"Nah."

"Why won't you look at me?"

Think fast. "My eyes hurt."

"From what?"

"Lack of sleep?"

"I told you to go back to bed."

"Okay," she got up, keeping her eyes down. This was freaking ridiculous. What was she going to do spend the next few days running from Angel and refusing to look at him? Act like an adult Buffy.

She straightened and looked directly into the warm chocolate brown eyes that could only belong to Angel. Along with his angelic face. Yep, she was in trouble now. Okay, this is normal. This is just like in high school when she dreamt of the guy who sat next to her in History. She had the warm fuzzies for him for like a day and then they dissipated by the following day. It was just part of the tricks dreams play. It meant nothing.

Were his lips always so full and kissable? Okay, Buffy. Abort, t!
t!

"Buffy?"

She shook her head. "Huh?"

"You're staring. Are you sick? Your eyes are glazed over."

"I'm fine," she chirped and dumped her cereal in the sink. "See you later!" And she took off to her room, practically slamming the door and locking it. She needed to be secluded for a while.

Somehow Buffy managed to make it through the day without having to see either vampire much at all. She felt like such a horrible person, but she really needed to get her head together. She felt full of so many emotions that all she could really pinpoint were two defining ones: Love and Confusion. After that, it all got pretty muddled. Hence the confusion part.

When Willow called and asked her if she wanted to join her to see Oz and his band play, Buffy jumped at the chance. Loud music, no thinking-- that was just what she needed. She breezed out the door, giving the shortest explanation possible and promised to check in. They had barely a chance to say 'bye' before she was out the door and on her way to Willow's. She planned not to come home that night and to call them later and just tell them quickly she'd be crashing at Willow's.

"So, are Angel and Spike going to crash the party here tonight?" Willow asked as they waited for the band to start. They had arrived a little early to get themselves settled before Dingo's Ate My Baby started.

Buffy shook her head, "I doubt it. I was very sparse with the details. I told them that after spending so much time studying, I needed to cut loose. And by cutting loose, I didn't mean I wanted to go kill something. I didn't tell them I was spending the night either. I'll call them later and tell them."

Willow's eyebrows raised and she took a sip of her drink. "Something happen you're not telling me?"

Buffy felt her cheeks get red. There was no denying it, she could feel the heat immediately. She shook her head ahrughrugged, looking away.

Willow grabbed her elbow and tugged. Buffy looked at her, trying to feign innocence.

"What happened?"

"I really don't want to talk about it right now Will. I've been having so much fun so far...putting on my makeup, trying on your clothes," she let out a laugh. "You know, girly stuff that I never get to do. I haven't been tense in the past foursours since I arrived at your apartment and I want to keep it that way."

Willow nodded, "I understand. Later then."

"Thanks Wills."

Buffy was having a blast. She laughed so hard she spit her drink out of her mouth and she danced until her legs ached. In a word, she felt, free. She couldn't help but wish a few times that Spike and Anwerewere there to share in her good time, but she quickly shoved those thoughts down. This was about a girl's night, about letting off steam and forgetting her problems.

Dingo's finished their set and started packing it up. Oz promised to join them after, so Willow and Buffy danced to the house music and chatted sporadically in between. They had just gotten drinks and were on their way back to the table when Willow stopped. Buffy looked at her friend in wonder and Willow pointed.

Looking across the room, Buffy spotted Angel coming in the door.

"For the love of..." she began, irritated. She couldn't help but notice the tiny glee she felt at seeing him and the flutter in chest.

"He's not alone. Who are they?" Willow asked as Angel was followed by a dark-haired shorter man and then---Faith.

Buffy glared, remembering how the slutty bitch had hit on Spike before. She balled up her fist at her side.

"Who are they, Buffy?"

" not not sure."

"Do you want to go over and say hi?"

She opened her mouth to say 'yes', then changed her mind. "No."

That startled them both.

"Do you think Angel was hunting you down?"

"No, Spike would do something like that, but not Angel. Angel had work to do at the gallery--oh! I know, they must be part of the show tomorrow night. Although, I would remember Faith."

"Hey--isn't that the girl that was hitting on Spike at Willy's?"

"Yep," Buffy answered through clenched teeth.

"You sure you don't want to go over and say hi? Wouldn't Angel be upset if you didn't at least pay him the courtesy of acknowledging his presence?"

"Oh for crying out loud when you put it that way...come with me?"

"Sure, why not."

Making their way over, Buffy watched Faith interact with Angel. She spoke animatedly to him, but her arm was around the other guy.

Angel looked directly at her when they were not even halfway over. He smiled warmly at her and Buffy felt that damn flutter in her chest again. He really had to stop being...well, Angel.

"Hey Buffy, I didn't know you'd be here tonight." Angel greeted her.

She smiled at him and then at his company. "Didn't expect you to be here either. What are the odds? And you are?" She asked pointedly to the man. He was a tad taller than her with short dull brown hair, glasses and beady eyes. He wore neatly pressed khakis and a blue button down with a vest. He seemed so put together and far out of place for a club like Envy.

"You're Buffy Summers? Joyce's daughter?" The man asked. Buffy noted the upper class English accent.

"That's me. You knew my mom?"

"I did, well, sort of. I'm Wesley Wyndham Price. I'm an artist, my paintings will be part of the exhibit tomorrow night. Your mom and I had talked a few times about my work. I was just a fledgling then and she told me that once my work was done, she would be happy to show it. I never got the chance--" He stopped, his blue eyes darting to the ground and then looked back at her with an apologetic smile. "That is, she never got the chance to see my finished work."

"Oh." Buffy didn?t really know what to say to that. "Well, I'm sure she would have been excited about seeing it Mr. Price."

"Please call me Wesley."

Buffy smiled welcomy, \y, "Wesley."

"We met up at the gallery, I had some things to go over with Angel and I asked him if he wanted to join Faith and I for a nightcap."

"At a nightclub?" Buffy asked.

"It was my idea. Like to be able to shake my thang if you know what I mean," Faith finally spoke up.

Buffy glanced at her, wanting to continue to ignore the girl. Faith, however, was not about to be ignored.

"How you doin' B?" Faith asked, smirking.

"You two know each other?" Angel asked.

"Not really, no." Buffy answered, glaring at her.

"We met once at Willy's. She was grinding with some hot young stallion and her knight Spike came to her rescue."

"Grinding?" Angel asked.

"There was no grinding, listen, it was nice to meet you Wesley. I just came over to say hello. I'll leave you guys alone now. Come on Wills."

"How does Wesley know Faith? They seem complete opposites."

"Opposites attract? I don't know. As long as she stays away frngelngel, we'll be good."

Willow stopped and grabbed Buffy's arm, making her face her. "Ok, what's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did you hear what you just said?"

"What?"

"You said as long as she stays away from Angel, you'd be good. Then there was the vapid ho comment the other day about Cordelia crushing on Angel."

"So? I told you, I'm protective of him."

"So if say, that girl--" she pointed to a red head with long black boot leg pants and a v necked red top--"were to ask Angel out it would be okay because it's not Faith or Cordelia?"

"Well, first of all Faith hit on Spike remember? Of course I hate her. Secondly, Cordelia was a snob who made stories up--okay, they were true, but she didn't really know that! Thirdly, that girl is not Angel's type. He prefers blondes."

"Like you."

"Like me--wait, no! You tricked me!" She waved her finger at Willow. "Don't start Willow Rosenberg. It was all thanks to you that I dreamt about him and started having these feelings! Can open, worms everywhere, and it's all your fault!" She exclaimed accusingly.

"What feelings? What dream? What is going on, Buffy?"

"I had a dream last night about Angel of the um, romantic nature--"

"Oh my Goddess!" Willow exclaimed and slapped her hand over her mouth.

"Yeah, I know, and then this morning I couldn't look at him without thinking about it and I started having these feelings and...they're still there."

"Feelings like you had in the dream?"

Buffy nodded solemnly.

"Buffy, it's totally okay! It's normal. I had a dream about Devon once before I met Oz and even though I could barely stand him, I had the warm fuzzies for him for like a day."

"Will, I'm not supposed to get the warm fuzzies for Angel, at all--ever. I'm with Spike, remember?"

"Except that you're afraid to tell Angel--oh my Goddess!"
WhatWhat now?"

Willow pointed at her, "you have feelings for Angel!"

Buffy looked around her, confused, then at Willow. "Did I not just say that?"

"No, I mean, you've had them all along but you didn't realize them until now! Until your dream, until I planted the seed!"

"Stop talking! Stop talking now!" Buffy exclaimed and walked away from her.

"But it's true! The whole reawhy why you're so afraid to tell Angel is because you're in love with him too and you don't want to lose him!"

"Too?"

"Well of course you're in love with Spike too."

"I can't be in love with two men at the same time. I can't be in love with Angel too and I can't be having this conversation any longer Willow! You put bad thoughts in my head that were never therforefore you came along with all your...your...talking."

"Buffy--"

"It's done, Will. Drop it."

"Buffy--"

"I mean it."

"Look at Faith and Angel."

Buffy's eyes immediately scanned the room until they landed on Faith and Angel on the dance floor.

There was a semi-slow song playing and Faith danced around Angel, arms above her head, chest sticking out and swaying her hips to the music ever so slowly, seductively. Her ruby red lips were smiling invitingly at him and everything about her body language said she wanted Angel, while everything about Angel's body language said he wanted to be anywhere but there.

Buffy's face scrunched up into one of disgust. "That's not how to dance with Angel," she murmured absently.

"How does one dance with Angel then?"

Buffy started across the floor then, her intent to save Angel. She wanted to pummel Faith into the next year, but she wasn't all that worried about Angel falling for her act. Angel was a class act. He was gentle and kind; he was a true gentleman. Faith wouldn't have a shot in hell with someone like Angel.

Without thinking about it, Buffy poked Faith on the shor. Tr. The girl turned and looked irritated by the invasion. "What is it B?"

Buffy looked up at Angel. "May I cut in?"

He breathed a sigh of relief and nodded.

"If you'll excuse us," Buffy told Faith, practically pushing her out of the way. She paid no more heed to Faith as she wrapped her arms around Angel's neck and pressed herself against him ever so gently. His hands settled on her hips and she could feel his unneeded breath on her neck.

"This is how you dance with Angel," she muttered. "Because he doesn't like to be flashy and the center of attention. He likes to just be with the other person, have all his attention on them and no one else. He prefers it slow and easy, because that's his personality. The whole world melts away when you dance with Angel and that's the way he likes it. Flaunting yourself like a cheap whore is not the way to Angel's heart. You have to be real, smart, and sweet. Isn't that right Angel?" She looked up at him then.

Her heart wasn't fluttering anymore. It was a steady rhythm, already having accepted what it knew to be true. It just waited for the rest of her to catch up, and it seemed it was starting to.

He nodded, his eyes so full of love and tenderness that it almost made her tear up.

Angel's love moved her, Spike's love shook her
Oh
Oh god, Spike. Her eyes widened and she pushed herself away from Angel. She looked up at Angel, stricken.

"Buffy--" Angel started, reaching for her.

She shook her head and did what she was good at.

She ran.


TBC....