Coo Coo Ca-Choo

Buffy came awake slowly, feeling like her head was going to explode. She felt weak and groggy and like she’d been run over by a truck. She squinted her eyes open and noticed a head and shoulders draped over her mid-section. William. Where am I? She thought as she looked around the room. Looks like a hospital. Why am I in a hospital? Her mind tried to grasp at what was going on.

Slowly the images of memories began to flood her. With tears in her eyes, she moved one of her hands slowly to stroke the hair of the man sleeping on her. When she did, his eyes fluttered open. He shot up from the bed.
“Buffy! You’re awake. Oh baby...I was so scared” Spike took hold of her hand.
“I....I don’t feel so well...” Buffy croaked out.
“I know, honey...don’t try to talk. It’s O.K. You rest. You’re going to be O.K. I love you so much, Buffy” Spike told her.
“Love you...” Buffy slurred and and drifted back off to sleep, the memories of the last 24 hours coming to her in her dreams.

“SPIKE..HELP ME..ANGEL IS TRYING TO...thump thump..slap..crack..”
Angel grabbed the phone from her pocket and threw it against the wall, shattering it to pieces as he backhanded her across the face.
“You think your precious little boyfriend is going to save you, bitch? Hah! You’re mine now, Buffy and I’m going to teach you your place” Angel sneered.

Buffy was almost at the point of exhaustion, ready to give up.
“I know what kind of girl you are, Buffy. You want this as much as I do. Come on, it’s not like you haven’t fucked half the men in California as it is, what’s one more?” Angel taunted her throwing back in her face some of the things she had confided in him about her past and alcohol.
“You need to be beaten down and I’m gonna be the man to do that” Angel got some leverage and pulled himself up onto her.
“No...I don’t want that...please stop, Angel...I won’t tell anyone...just let me go..” Buffy tried to reason with him.
“You think I’m stupid?” SLAP “You think I’d just let you go?” SLAP “Your little William isn’t going to recognize you once I’m through with you” SLAP Hell, even if he did, he wouldn’t want you anymore anyway” SLAP

Buffy was crying profusely and still trying with what little strength she had left to push Angel off and get away. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed the cord from an end table lamp coming down the side of the table. She reached out to try and grasp it.

Angel was in the process of unbuttoning her pants and yanking them down her legs as he continued to hurl insults and vulgarities at her.
“You’re probably so loose from everyone you’ve fucked, I won’t even be able to feel you. Might just have to fuck that ass of yours instead. You’re gonna be my girl, Buffy. You’re my girl!” he ranted on.

With everything she had, she grabbed the cord and the lamp wobbled off the table and down into her waiting hand. Before Angel knew what was happening, she had brought the base of the lamp down as hard as she could on his skull. He slumped on top of her and she pushed him off of her and in a rage brought the lamp down onto his head again, shouting at him, “I’m not your girl! I could never be your girl!” The lamp was caked in blood and bits of hair and flesh. She dropped the makeshift weapon and in incredible pain crawled across the room to where the phone was. She dialed the three numbers everyone knows by heart.

“911, what’s your emergency?” the operator answered.
“I think I just killed someone...” Buffy slurred out between swollen and beaten lips.

Spike left Buffy to rest and went out to check on Xander and Anya who were in the waiting room. Fred and Wes had come by earlier but had to get back to work. Willow and Tara were on their way there.
“She woke up briefly but fell back asleep” Spike told them, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion. He had been up with her all night except the little nap he just had when he fell asleep draped over her.
“You really need to get some sleep, man.” Xander told him.
“I’ll be fine. Just need some coffee” Spike replied. “Mrs. Summers still not here?” he asked his two friends.
“No. I’m sure it won’t be long.” Xander assured him.

Spike had called Joyce shortly after arriving to the hospital. They had spoken on the telephone before but had yet to meet in person. It was the hardest phone call he had ever made. Joyce was hysterical when he informed her that Buffy had been attacked and was in the hospital. She told him she would be on the first plane down.

“We’ll go get you some coffee and snacks, Will. You wait here. Sit down. Rest a bit” Xander told him as he and Anya stood to go to the cafeteria.
“Alright, mate.” Spike sat down and closed his eyes recalling the previous day, the worst day of his life.

Spike sobbed hysterically on his knees as Xander kept on the line with the 911 operator. They told him they had traced her cell to a 4 block radius and had dispatched some patrol cars to the area but without knowing an exact address it was proving difficult to find her.
“Sir? Hang on...we may have some information...coming in..” the operator told Xander.
“Will...hey..they sent cars out and she just told me she has some more information coming....” Xander patted Spike on the back.
“Is she alright? Did they find her?” Spike looked up at him, eyes red rimmed.
“I don’t know yet...” Xander told him.
“Oh God....if he did anything to her...I’m gonna kill him, Xander...I swear to God...” Spike threatened.

“Sir? Sir? Are you there?” the operator came back on the line.
“Yeah..yes..I’m here” Xander said.
“We think we’ve got her, Sir. Another 911 call came in from a woman in the same sector. She is on the phone now with one of my fellow operators. She called herself Buffy. That’s the name the other gentleman there with you gave me, right?” she questioned Xander.
“YES! That’s her. Oh God...she’s O.K. then?” Xander asked.
“One of the patrol cars in the area is on their way to the address she is at right now. That’s all I know, Sir.” The operator answered, not allowed to divulge any other information.

“They found her, Will!” Xander informed him.
“Is she alright?” Spike stood up.
“I don’t know..they won’t tell me anything more.” Xander explained.
Spike grabbed the phone back from him.
“Is she O.K.? Have they gotten there yet?” he yelled into the phone.
“Sir! Calm down. They’re almost there. I really can’t give anymore information...” she began.
“I wanna know if my girlfriend is alright...PLEASE tell me!” he sobbed.

Xander grabbed the phone back from him. “Come on man, pull it together”
“Sorry, ma’am. He is upset, obviously...” Xander apologized to the operator.
“I understand. I’m going to have to end this call now but my co-operator has informed the responding officers to call you as soon as they have any information” she explained to him.
“Uh..O.K. Thank you” Xander hung up the phone.

“Why are you hanging up? What’s going on?” Spike yelled.
“She had to end the call. The cops are gonna call us when they have more informaton, she said.” Xander explained to Spike.
“Great! So what are we supposed to do..just sit here and wait?” Spike paced back and forth.
“Yeah, it looks that way. She called herself, man. That means she is alive. She is gonna be O.K.” Xander rationalized.
“Oh gee..thanks. She is alive... way to make me feel better...god...I feel so fucking useless..” Spike kicked the coffee table over cracking it.
“Well, I don’t know about you being alive though now, after Buffy sees what you just did to her table” Xander tried to lighten the mood.
“I’ll be dead anyway if she isn’t O.K., Xander” Spike sighed and slumped down onto the sofa.

“William? Excuse me. Are you William?” Spike awoke in the same chair he had dozed off in. He looked up to see an attractive middle aged woman who resembled Buffy.
“Mrs. Summers?” he questioned.
“Yes” she answered.
“Thank you for coming. I’m so sorry” Spike apologized.
“Thank you for calling me, William” she pulled him into an embrace. “My daughter is quite enamored with you. I can see now, why” she smiled warmly at him.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect her....” William began
“It’s not your fault and please call me Joyce. Now, where is Buffy? Is she alright?” she asked him.
“Come with me. I was just letting her rest a bit. She woke up before but fell back asleep. Our friends Xander and Anya just went to get me some coffee and food and I was waiting for them to come back. Willow and Tara are on their way here as well.” Spike informed Joyce as he led her back to Buffy’s room.

Spike pushed open the door for Joyce and she gasped as she took in the sight of her daughter lying there bruised and beaten.
“Oh dear Lord.” She rushed to her bedside.
“Buffy, baby. Oh my little girl.” Joyce began to cry and stroked her daughter’s forehead.
“What happened? Did he...Did he?” Joyce couldn’t find the words.
“He attacked her, beat her up but she stopped him before he could do anything else, Joyce. She is a strong lady” Spike told her.
“That’s my girl. My brave strong, Buffy. Where is the bastard that did this? I swear I’m going to...” Joyce began.
Spike cut her off, “Uhh..Joyce..that’s the other thing. I didn’t mention it on the phone. I didn’t want to make you anymore upset” Spike sighed. “Joyce, he is dead. The man that did this. Buffy hit him over the head with a lamp to get away and...well..it killed him. The police officers told me bits and pieces. Buffy hasn’t been fully awake enough yet to tell us all exactly what happened.” Spike informed Joyce.

“You must think me a cold woman, William but I’m glad that piece of scum is dead. I would’ve killed him myself if given the chance.” Joyce said.
“I know how you feel. I don’t think of you as cold at all.” Spike responded. “I was so scared. I’ve never been so scared in my life. I love your daughter more than anything, Joyce” Spike confided in her.
“I know you do, dear. She loves you too. She has never spoken about anyone as she does about you, William.” Joyce smiled at him again.

“I better go back out. Xan and Anya will be wondering where I ran off to and if Willow and Tara show up...” Spike explained.
“You go ahead, dear. I’ll sit with Buffy for awhile.” Joyce watched him leave the room then turned back to her daughter and held her hand and began singing her a favorite child hood song, “Three Little Fishies”. Buffy may be pushing thirty but she was still and would always be her little girl.

Spike found Xander and Anya in the waiting room.
“We just got back. Was wondering where you were” Xander said. “Here’s your coffee”
Spike took the paper cup from him. “Thanks, mate. Joyce is here. She is back with Buffy now.” He informed them.

Just then, the waiting room doors flung open and Willow and Tara came running in, worried looks across their faces.
“Spike! Oh God, I’m sorry it took us so long. I should have checked my voice mail sooner. Where is she? How is she?” Willow babbled.
“Joyce is back with her now. She is sleeping but she did wake up once. She looks pretty bad but the doctors told us she would recover fully, at least physically” Spike looked down.
“Oh, thank Goddess” Willow sighed.

The five friends all sat down waiting patiently while Joyce visited with Buffy.
Not long into their wait, two police detectives came into the waiting room and asked Spike and Xander if they could come to the station and giveir eir statements as to what had transpired the evening before. They would need to question Buffy when she woke up too, they informed Spike.
“She’s not in trouble, is she? She was defending herself!” Spike raised his voice.
“Calm, down young man” the older detective told him. “We’re not planning on charging Miss Summers with anything. We do, however need her statement for our reports. We have a dead guy in the morgue and we need to make sure we report everything accurately” he explained to Spike.
“O.K. Do you want us to come now?” Spike inquired.
“That would be great, if you could.” He answered.
“Alright.” Spike replied.

Xander and Spike went back to their friends and informed them that they had to go to the police station to make out statements but they would be back shortly. The two men left with the two detectives leaving the three girls to wait together. Joyce came out about an hour later and seeing Willow, took her surrogate daughter into her arms for a big hug.
“Willow. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. My how you’ve grown into a beautiful woman” Joyce smiled at her then turned her gaze to Anya and Tara.

Recognizing Tara from photographs Willow had sent, she hugged her as well, “You must be Tara. You’re even more lovely in person. So nice to finally meet you” Joyce told her.
“You too, Joyce. I’m sorry it’s under these circumstances though” Tara said.
“Me too, dear. Me too” Joyce replied.

“I’m Anya. Xander’s girlfriend and I work with Buffy” Anya stuck her hand out to shake with Joyce.
“None of that, we’re all family here” Joyce said as she embraced Anya as well. “Buffy has mentioned you and Xander many times when we’ve spoken on the phone” Joyce informed her.

“Joyce....how is she?” Willow said in a serious tone.
“She....she doesn’t look too good, Willow but I talked to her nurse while I was back there and she told me the doctor said she was going to be just fine...but her face...it’s pretty bad” Joyce responded.
“Can I see her, now?” Willow asked.
“Yes, dear. Of course. I’ll take you back.” Joyce led Willow away.

“I hope the guy that did this to her gets what is coming to him” Tara said as her and Anya sat back down.
“Oh..didn’t they tell you?” Anya asked her.
“Tell us what?” Tara inquired.
“Angel, the guy that attacked Buffy. He’s dead. Buffy killed him.” Anya answered.
“Oh..wow..no..we didn’t know...oh God. Poor Buffy...” Tara trailed off.

Willow sat with Joyce at Buffy’s bedside, tears rolling down her cheeks. Buffy slowly opened her eyes and saw her best friend softly crying.
“Willow...hey...don’t cry sweetie..please...I’m going to be O.K.” Buffy mumbled.
“Oh, Buffy! You’re awake. I’m so sorry.” Willow cried.
The other face in the room came into focus.
“Mommy?” Buffy said.
“Yes, honey...I’m here.” Joyce came around to the other side of the bed and leaned over to kiss the top of her head.
“Mommy...it hurts..” Buffy started to cry then.
“Oh, baby...I know..I’m sorry..do you need some more pain medicine. Want me to call the nurse?” Joyce asked.
“Yes...please...oh...Mommy...I killed him....I remember...I killed him Mommy...” Buffy sobbed.

Willow’s eyes opened wide to the first time of hearing this knowledge.
“It’s O.K., Buffy. You did what you had to do. No one blames you for anything.” Joyce told her.
“Am I going to jail?” Buffy questioned.
“What? No! Of course not” Joyce replied.
“He was going to...he was...I tried to make him stop...he wouldn’t...didn’t listen...I...didn’t mean to kill him..but he wouldn’t stop and I wasn’t going to go through that again...not again...no no no.” Buffy rambled on.
“Again?” Willow spoke up. “Buffy? What do you mean, again?”
“Honey?” Joyce looked at her questionly as well.

Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It was time. Time to tell the two most important women in her life her decade long secret.
“Parker Abrams raped me when we were in college, Willow. I never told anyone, except William. Not you and not even my mom” she motioned to Joyce.
“Oh Buffy!” Joyce’s tears began to fall as well.

“I didn’t have to kill him.” Buffy said softly.
“I already told you, honey..” Joyce started.
“No..the first time I hit him, knocked him out. I could have gotten away. All I could see was his face and Parker’s face, morphing back and forth and I hit him again...and again...I wanted him dead, Mommy. I murdered him. Oh God...” Buffy sobbed.

The three women held onto each other for dear life, tears mingling and falling to the floor at Buffy’s revelation.

Continued in Chapter 22-Coming Out of the Dark