Through the Eyes of a Child

[thoughts] because yahell won’t recognize italics


“sorry, really sorry, bad boy, did something wrong, please don’t yell, won’t do it again, pro-miss, won’t do it again…puhlease don’t hurt me, tell me what I did, won’t do it again sorry.” Xander had his eyes closed tightly and his whole body was shaking.

Giles ran up to the table just in time to hear Xander’s plea for Spike not to hurt him. He looked into Spike’s shocked face that he was sure mirrored the look on his own. He couldn’t begin to fathom what could have happened to boy to make him so afraid? Xander’s voice didn’t sound right. It was soft and immature, something was decidedly wrong with the boy.

“Spike…”

“ Oi don’t start on me watcher, I just yelled for you and he started acting like I was going to beat him.” [Oh bloody hell, the parents. Stupid Spike, you know what the fuckin’ bastards did to the boy.] “I won’t hurt you Xan, was just calling Rupert here to come check your cut.”

“Xander you didn’t do anything wrong, you got hurt. You got hit with something and there’s a cut on your chest. What’s the last thing you remember doing?” Giles asked gently. Xander just stared at him in confusion. [He looked out the window and saw it was dark out and started to cry quietly, he was in so much trouble. He was late and his daddy would already be home…waiting for him.]

“I gots to go home now. It’s dark out and I’m apposed to be in when it gets too dark. please…I’mgonna beinsomuchtroubleandproblygetsaspankin.ineedtogohomenow.” he was sobbing and in full Xanderbabble mode.

Spike leaned towards the boy gently took hold his chin. He turned his head so they were face to face and softly asked “Xander how old are you?”

“I’m gonna be seven pretty soon but now I’m just six,” he said trying to sniff back the tears, he was holding up three fingers on each hand. “can I go home now? I gots to go home now.”

“No, you need to lay there for awhile because you got hurt. We need to make sure you are alright before you leave. We’ll make sure you aren’t in trouble” Giles was also keeping his voice low and even trying not to scare the Xander. He had to remember that this was Xander the child not a man. Oh Lord he really didn’t know how to deal with young children.

“you talk pretty, what’s your name? do you have any kids I can play with? I like to play with other kids.” He looked around the store, trying to see everything, when he spotted the girls he wiggled his fingers at them. “hi you look like my willow, do you know my willow? her and jesse are my bestest friends. I was over a willow’s house playing and then I don’t ‘member anything else. You sure I’m not in trouble?”

Spike smiled at the way his Xan’s brain was bouncing from subject to subject, his boy hadn’t changed to much as he grew up.

“No Xander, you’re not in any trouble. We have to make sure you feel better before you can leave. I want you to lie there while Spike and I talk in the office. Is that alright with you?” Giles tried to keep his voice calm so Xander wouldn’t become frightened again.

“kay. spike…that’s a funny name, is it your really name or a pretended name? Spikes a doggie name, you don’t look like a doggie…did you mommy name you spike? my really name is al-ex-and-er but my willow and jesse just call me xander it’s easiest. Only my daddy and mommy call me al-ex-and-er but I don’t like it ‘specially when they yell it…AL-EX-AND-ER LA-VELLE HARR-IS. That means I’m in so much trouble.” Xander hunched his shoulders up and crooked his finger at Spike “`mere… can I tell you a secret?” Spike nodded yes and leaned down to hear what Xan-pet had to say. “I gets kinda ascared when they yell my whole long name, it means I been bad and I’m really gonna get it.” Spike glanced over at Willow and watched as tears ran down her face and she nodded her head. She obviously knew what was going on with his Xan-pet, at least the six year old Xan-pet.

“See those pretties over there?” Spike pointed at the three girls. When Xander shook his head Spike continued. “They’re going to watch you while Rup…Mr. Giles and I go in the office and talk. They won’t hurt you and if they do just yell and I’ll come back and bite them good and proper OK?”

Xander started to giggle and shook his head till the curls were bouncing over his eyes. “’kay what’s their names? Will they like me ok, I’ll be good, I promise, crossmyheart.” Xander watched Spike walk back to the office then turned his head towards the approaching girls. “hi my name’s Xander… why are you crying? Did you get hurt too? I get hurt lots but I gets all better too. Mommy says I’m just cul…clu…uhmm…clumsy. But I don’t really know what that means. I guess it jus’ means I get hurt awhoooole lot.

“Wil…”

“Buffy, hush, not now. Ixnay on the illoway. No Xander I’m not hurt just a little sad because you got hurt. You can call me Red, that’s what Spike calls me, Okay?” Xander nodded again and Willow finished introducing little xander to the friends he couldn’t remember. “This is Tara and that’s Buffy…sometimes she yells but she’s really okay. She won’t hurt you, I promise.”

“I don’t yell at all and I really want to know what the hell you’re talking about.” Buffy voice was getting higher and louder the longer she talked. Just then the bell over the door rang and Xander’s head spun around and he looked like he was going to start crying again. This time Buffy really noticed the look of fear on Xander’s face and there was no denying that it was real. “Hey little man, it’s okay. It’s just my sister, Dawn. You’re not in trouble but she better have a really good explanation about why she’s here after midnight.”

“you…you’re not gonna spank her are you?” Xander asked quietly.

Dawn snorted “Yeah as if…”

Buffy shook her head no, “I don’t hit Dawn, ever and I’d never you you either, promise”

Dawn was looking from person to person completely confused and not understanding anything. Maybe some bad guy scrambled their brain but good this time.

“Dawn this is Xander, he got hurt and we’re taking care of him since he’s only 6 and can’t be alone because you know only 6 and.” W.” Willow talked fast trying to get in everything before Dawnie could say anything. They could see the confusion fading from her eyes and understanding taking it’s place.

“Hey, Xander, I’m Dawn and yeah the loud one is my big pain in the butt sister. Your six huh, that’s cool. Hey I’m not the youngest anymore, hah. And yes Buffy I have a really good reason to be here so late. Janice got sick, really pukin’ sick and her mom thought you might like it if she got me outta there quick”.

Giles and Spike came walking back into the front of the shop. They both looked calmer and were wearing very “Willowlike” resolve faces. Whatever they had decided is what would be done and the look on their faces said that arguing wouldn’t be appreciated.

“Right then, we’ve, that is Spike and I, have decided the Xander is going home with Spike tonight. It makes the most sense.”

Buffy jumped up and started yelling immediately “No way am I letting fangless take Xander to his crypt. Not going to happen. Who knows what he’d do.”

“I have to agree with Buffy” Willow stated firmly, “I can take care of Xander, I have before.”

“Girls you can argue all you like, it has already been decided. Spike will take Xander to “his” apartment. Buffy you have Dawn to think of and your, ahem, other duties. Willow, you and Tara live in a dormitory, not the place for a young child and I have the store to take care of and research to do. Spike is the best option at this point.”

“Mister gi…umm…giles”

“What is it Xander?”

“Why can’t I go home? I really need to go home afore I get into more trouble.”

Spike came over and touched the top of Xander’s head, “Your parents aren’t here right now are they? That’s why I’m going to be taking care of you for awhile. [like the rest of my undead life] Is that okay with you?”

“mommy and daddy aren’t here? Where’d they go, is it time for them to visit grammy again? Maybe I can stay with my willow, sometimes they let me stay there.” His voice started to quiver slightly. [oh no Xan-pet not the tears again, bleedin’ Master vampire and can’t take a few soddin’ tears.]

“Xander honey, your Willow isn’t here right now either. She’s with her mommy and daddy right now,” Willow had trouble controlling the waiver in her voice. She remembered how the Harris’s always tried to find someone to shove Xander off on whenever they went somewhere. “You’ll like staying with Spike. He’ll be lots of fun and I bet you he’ll watch cartoons with you.” [And just how did you know me and my Xan-pet watch cartoons together, Red?~]

“Alright all settled then, you about ready to leave Xander? You look like your getting a little tired there.” Spike watched as Xander tried to cover up a huge yawn. “I think I need to get you home. Tell everyone ‘night and we’re gone.”

“’kay, I’m ready now. Do you live in a house? Do you have a yard. How…how bout a swing huh? Do you have one of them?” [Hell Xan-pet, you haven’t changed since you were six have you? How I the hell can you talk like that and still breathe?] Spike carefully helped Xander off the table, holding him around the waist so he wouldn’t fall. Slowly they made their way to the door. “bye dawnie, bye red, bye tara and buffy and mis..ter Giles bye.” Xander was wiggling his fingers in a little goodbye wave as Spike helped him through the door.

“Take a breath Xander, you’ll see them again tomorrow. Let’s go get you to bed.” Spike held on to Xander’s hand like he was afraid he would disappear if he let go and lead him out the door into the night.