Fall From Heaven

Spike wasn’t tired, and the only reason he decided to lie down was that it was something to do. Sleep was eluding him. It could be the excitement of his return, or, he sighed, the memories of his past. Angel went to sleep around 10:30pm the night before. Once alone, he took a walk to get some fresh air. The walk didn’t last long and before he knew it he was back in Angel’s apartment. He shifted in his bed again, throwing the blanket off the bed. He lay back his his hands folded behind his head. His eyes were wide open as he looked at the digital clock on the night stand, and it only reminded him that it had been less than 24 hours since he had returned.

Spike tried not to think of the past day’s events, but they kept returning to him. He had arrived in Angel’s office around 10am the day bef Ang Angel’s team rushed him into the hospital wing, where they pronounced him a healthy vampire, with a soul.

After that, events became a blur. Angel’s friends began to question and talk all at once. The little bit of a woman wanted to let him know she was rescued from a demon dimension. He thought her name was Fred, it was a bit masculine for a woman, but who was he to talk about a name? A green demon dressed in a purple leisure suit wanted Spike to sing. He couldn’t understand why. Then the ex-watcher, Wes, tried to diagnose how he came back with prodding questions. He was relieved when Angel rescued him from the group.

Angel didn’t speak to him very much. A glance, a sneer, a witty comment, but nothing of really importance passed between them. It’s just as well. We’ll have to talk at some point, but talking right now would be painful, Spike thought. Just at dusk, Angel took him out shopping for clothes. It didn’t take long to buy a few pairs of black jeans, t-shirts, button-down shirts, and a black waist-length leather jacket.

Flip-flopping on the bed didn’t help him get any sleep. He knew the bed was the best that money could buy, but it held no comfort. Why can’t the bleeding past stay in the past? He thought to himself.

Spike got up out of the bed and began to pace the room. After a bit, he began to wander around the plush grand penthouse apartment. It was Angel’s style, or, more likely, Angelus’ style. Spike would be happy with just a crypt, a comfy chair, a telly, a comfortable bed, and just enough to get by.

He hunted in his jacket to grab a pack of cigarettes he had lifted from the local market. He was a good guy now, but old habits died hard. While lighting his cigarette, he watched the sunrise in the distance. It was unnatural to look out of a window during daylight, and more unnatural for a vampire to be bathed in morning light. The windows in the apartment were laced with fancy scientific coatings so he would not burn into flames.

It was a strange feeling to be standing in direct sunlight without burning. He sighed as he paced the floor. What was his problem? He found himself being pulled to Angel’s room. Walking by a clean ashtray, he used i put put out his cigarette. He moved slowly and quietly as he opened Angel’s door.

Angel was sleeping peacefully. He has a face like an Angel, Spike thought. He leaned against the door jamb, not wanting to go into the bedroom.

No matter what they went through, no matter how long they knew each other, Angel was a part of who and what he was. Dru, insane as she was, could not teach him like Angel could; the artistry of the kill, the way of the vampire, about the blood. They were connected, he and his grand-sire; both changed for the love of the same woman, both having souls, both seeking redemption.

“Angelus was an evil prick.” he declared softly, hoping that Angel would not hear him.

“Can’t sleep?” a groggy voice questioned from the bed. Angel moved to face him. “I see that you’re properly attired!” Angel said with a sneer.

“Nothing wrong with being naked.”

“What’s wrong, Spike?” Angel asked with a frustrated concern.

“The bed’s hard.”

“What are you doing here, Spike?”

“I live here, if I remember.” Spike said snarkily, as he looked toward the window.

“What are you doing in my room?”

“Just hate my bed.”

“Come sit down so we can talk.” Angel said in a firm commanding way that reminded him a little too much of Angelus.

“Not bloody likely.” Spike said snarkily. Spike was there to help, but he was not here to be Angel’s floor mat.

Angel, still groggy, sat up, swung his feet over the bed and moved to face him. Spike reviewed Angel; roughed-up hair, black silk pajamas, and a look of uncertainty on his face. Spike watched him as he walked to the closet. Angel disappeared a m a moment and came out holding a black silk robe.

“Wear this.” Angel said as he threw the robe at Spike.

“Little too fancy for my tastes.”

“Just wear it, and stuff the sarcasm.”

Spike put the robe on, then followed Angel out into the living room. Spike slipped onto the leather sofa as Angel sat in a chair directly opposite him. Spike played with the remote controls for the windows, and allowed more sunlight in.

“Why did you do that?” Angel asked mildly annoyed. Spi Spike ignored him and placed his hands behind his head, then laid back into the comfortable sofa, allowing the robe to open and expose him to the room. He could tell that Angel was not happy, but basking in the sunlight while not burning up was too tempting. He chuckled to himself and decided he liked to see Angel all aggravated. It was his turn for payback. He turned his head and faced the man that he had thought of as a mentor in another day and time.

“Do what?” he asked finally knowing that it would aggravate him.

“Annoy me!”

“I annoy you? Got the wrong vamp, mate!”

“I am not your mate.” Angel said firmly.

“Bloody well right, you’re too stiff to be a mate of mine. Look at you, all prettied up.” Spike looked around the room and noticed something was missing. “Where is the telly?” He smiled as he righted himself on the sofa.

“Look Spike, I don’t know what happened to you after…” Angel seemed uncomfortable.

“Right... you are so concerned about me! I only matter to you because I have a soul. Didn’t much matter to you before.” Spike’s voice softens as he spoke.

“Spike.”

“Well it’s true, now, innit? You… Me… never really cared for each other. You kept me around to keep Dru happy. I stayed because I was completely batty for her. Sure, you taught me a thing or two, to keep me in line.” Spike didn’t look up. “And why are you being nice to me? Taking me out, dressing me up, and bringing me home? Don’t try to...” Angel cut him off.

“Buffy…”

“Bollocks! Leave her out of it.”

“How can I leave her out of it?”

“Did you call her?” Spike said apprehensively, not knowing if he wanted her to know that he has returned from the dead just yet. Would she come? Should she come? he asked himself.

“No, it would…”

“…be complicated.” Spike finished Angel’s sentence. Both men looked at each other with uneasiness. e wae was uncomfortable with the idea of talking about Buffy. “Yea, well, right. What the bloody hell am I going to say to her?” Spike was almost in tears. “Sorry, luv, but I’ve come back from the dead. Now we can go and live happily…Right, that bloody well will work. Or better yet; ‘Come on pet, we can get that crypt with a white picked fence I talked about. Pick the Little Bit up…” Spike felt the urge to hit something, but calmed down. “I will call her, but on my own terms, Angel” he said softly, then looked up at Angel. “She is okay, I saw her…” Spike wanted to talk but was cautious, his feeling were raw and edgy. The truth was he didn’t know what he wanted.

“Where were you Spike? Angel asked. Spike could see tension in his face.

“I think I was in heaven.”

“You came back?”

“Yeah, ripped out of heaven, more like it.”

“Why?”

“Your deal.” Spike said with sarcasm.

“I don’t need your help Spike.” Angel said sarcastically as he shifted in his seat.

“Regardless or not you have me. Don’t think I could ignore the forces that brought me here. I don’t sodding want to be here. Comfy cozy up there in heaven. Until …” he stopped speaking for a moment, to collect his thoughts. Until you buggered it up. he thought. Right. He didn’t want to think about it anymore. It hurt too much. You always mess things up. Take what’s mine.

“What happened after Sunnydale?” Angel asked.

“It doesn’t matter. Tell me, Angel, about the deal you made.” Spike could see anger in Angel’s eyes. He also could see fear and hurt. He was going to say something sarcastic but decided against it.

“Nothing to it. We beat the bad guy and Wolfram & Hart gave us the LA branch.” Angel said as he put his hand to his lip.

“Right, and who are Wolfram & Hart?” Spike saw the look of anger on the older vampire’s face.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Angel said as he got up from his chair. Within a te hte he slammed the door to his bedroom, leaving Spike alone.


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Angel took Spike to work with him and dumped him in his office, telling him to stay put and not to touch anything. Angel showed him the high-definition television with surround-sound and the satellite. After Angel left, Spike searched the office, but there was nothing about a deal, no paperwork of any kind that he could access. Right now he wished he had Red with him so he could get past the security on the computer.

Flipping through the channels, he realized that he didn’t know what had happened in Sunnydale after he took care of the uber vamps. He knew they won and that Buffy, Dawn, Xander, and Willow had made it out, but he didn’t know about anyone else. Bugger it, he said, frustrated. What, is Angel going to keep me to himself? he thought.

It didn’t matter that he did, in fact, saved the world. He was still treated like the dirt under the floor mat. This rubbed him the wrong way. Spike got up and started to pace the floor, until the door opened and a tall leggy woman came in, dressed impeccably.

“Well, William the Bloody. Or do you prefer Spike? It is a pleasure to meet you at last.” Lilah said, holding out her hand.

“I prefer Spike. And who are you?” Spike tilted his head and took her hand. She was pretty, he thought. He wasn’t fooled one bit, because he also noticed the nice jagged scar that wrapped around her delicate neck. Within a moment Angel came through the door.

“What are you doing here, Lilah?” Angel asked coolly.

“Just want to see the latest member of our team.” Lilah said with a smile.

“I am a part of no one’s team.” Spike said defensively.

“Well, the way I see it, you came back after you wore the amulet that Angel gave you, so you belong to Wolfram & Hart.” she said with certainty. Angel looked at Spike, then Lilah. Spike was getting a little hot under the collar as she continued to speak. “Way I see it, he is back under mystical reasoso hso he is ours.”

“Enlighten me, Lilah. How exactly is Spike back because of Wolfram and Hart? Because last time I checked, he wasn’t part of the package deal.” he asked sarcastically.

“No, but he is the result of the deal, remember.”

“I don’t remember asking for his return in our deal. I didn’t ask to have him back. Hell, I don’t even want him here. Tell me, Lilah, when did I ask for him?” Angel asked with utter disdain in his voice.

“No, we didn’t bring him back and tech….” She was cut off by an angry Spike.

“The truth is, peaches, they don’t know. They didn’t bring me back; just think they can take the credit for it.” Spike said sarcastically to Angel. “As for you, Ms. Candidate-for-Hell-Queen-of-the-year, I am not here as part of the sodding deal. I have other reasons, which don’t concern you or this place. Now I would suggest that you turn your hot little ass around and walk out that door.” Spike said mockingly. He could see that Lilah didn’t know what to say at first. She looked to Angel and back to Spike.

Lilah raised her eyebrow and smiled then winked at Spike. “Nice to meet you Spike. It will be interesting working with you.” She turned around slowly and walked out the door, accentuating her hot little ass. Spike tilted his head and watched. He might be dead, but his body parts were definitely acting alive. He turned and sauntered over to Angel’s chair and sat down, hands behind his head, feet up on the desk, and smirk on his face.

“Now, are you ready to tell me your deal?” Spike watched a visibly-upset Angel walk towards him. Spike thought he would kick him out of his chair, but he didn’t. Instead he sat somberly on the edge of the desk and looked down at him.

“I told you the deal Spike, nothing more to tell.” Angel said apprehensively. Spike could see the look of disappointment in his grand-sire’s eyes. Angel’s faceeareeared was strained and tired. He looked like a man with a heavy burden. Spike wondered if there was more to this deal than saving the world. Was it personal? Angel was quiet for a moment, and then looked at the door and back to Spike. “You probably shouldn’t get Lilah mad at you.”

“No worries, had worse than that beast angry at me. I can take care of myself.” Spike said softly, remembering the torture thaory ory and the FE put him through. He sighed.

A knock came at the door, which then opened. Wes poked his head in. “Ah, yes, good, both of you are here.” He walked in to the office with a book open. Wes was reading the passage one more time. He placed a finger to the spot to mark his place and looked up. “Good then. I found something that might explain Spike’s return. I did some reading on the Shanshu Prophecy, and Spike doesn’t fit that, because he definitely returned as vampire with a soul, not a human. But this piece just might do the trick. It seems as though Spike is the champion.” Wes said with confidence as he closed the book.

“Champion of what? Bad hair?”

“It seems as though dear Lilah wasn’t entirely forthcoming with you. It seems as though the amulet that Spike wore was meant for you. Once you gave up the amulet, you transferred your rights to be the Champion. She did know that you would die if you wore the amulet, Angel. Spike is a wildcard.” Wes spoke softly.

“So you are telling me Captain Peroxide here is the Champion.” Angel was visibly upset, hot with anger.

“Hey, watch it! I don’t like this anymore than you do.” Spike swung his legs off the desk and got up. Both men stared at each other for several moments.

Angel broke the silence by throwing a punch to Spike’s face. Spike returned the favor with a left uppercut to the chin, followed by a right hook to the nose. Angel fell forward, elbowing him in the gut, while sweeping Spike’s his legs out from underneath him. Spike rolled out of the way as Angel tried to jump on him and landed face-down. The two men rolled around the floor cursing each other. Each reached for the other’s throats.

“You took everything.” Angel grasped Spike’s throat hard.

“I d-i-d-n-‘-t.” Spike managed to loosen Angel’s grip with a knee to the groin. Then he rolled out from underneath Angel. Quickly he managed to straddle him, pinning him down. “You sorry bloody fool!” he said, dead serious. Spike forgow a w a good fight felt -- there was nothing like the thrill of the fight, with adrenaline running and emotions on edge.

“Are you two finished?” Wes asked as he slammed the book down on the desk to get their attention. “Now, children!”

Both men looked at Wes. Spike moved away from Angel and tried helped to help him up, but Angel rejected the hand. They moved away from each other. Angel went to sit at his desk, and Spike sat in one of the gray chairs.

“Good. Now stop. I wish I had the guidance of Rupert right now, but my hands are tied.” he said as he looked sharply at Spike.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Spike flipped the cover his new Zippo lighter off and on, igniting and extinguishing the flame. It was a reproduction 1941 replica hand-satin sterling silver lighter. He had driven Angel crazy, trying pick out one from the 50 or 60 lighters that were in the shop. He chuckled as he remembered a very annoyed Angel as Spike demanded the limo to stop in front of the fancy smoke shop. Spike was a like little kid as he watched Angel shell out 200 bucks for the lighter. Angel asked if he wanted cigarettes and Spike shook his head no and declared that he already had some. Angel had locked himself in his study, and they hadn’t spoken to each other at all since they had come home.

Spike sat on the floor beside the wall-sized window. He really didn’t know how long he had been there playing with his lighter. It captivated him and distracted him from what he had set out to do. He wrapped his arms around his legs and pulled them in closer. Next to him were a phone and a bottle of JD. There was something to a bottle of booze that was calming.

He had attempted twice to call. Each time, he placed the phone back down in its cradle. What in blazes was he going to say to her? Sorry, Buffy, to ruin your life again, but I am undead again. Not bloody likely. Practicing didn’t help. He was relieved that Angel was in his study out of his way. Just as well. What do I say? Buffy, I am with the great Poofter. Spike shook his head and took a long drag from his cigarette. He knew that smoking in the apartment pissed Angel off -- even better reason to do it. He studied the cigarette for a moment. Closed his eyes, took a drag and put it out on the floor next to the bottle of JD. He picked up the telephone and started to dial the number he had memorized.

One ring. He was tempted to hang up.

Two rings. He was getting nervous.

Three rings. “Pick up the phone,” he whispered to himself.

The fourth ring, finally
“H
“Hello, Summer’s residence.” Spike recognized Willow’s voice. He paused, and again Willow spoke. “Anyone there?” Bloody hell, Spike thought.

“Can I talk to Buffy?” he asked.

“Who is this?” Willow’s voice sounded a little strained.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, Red.” Spike said.

“Oh God, Spike.” Spike heard the phone drop and then a glass. A moment later Willow came back to the phone. “I didn’t do it I swear.”

“I know pet.” He said softly.

“How? Never mind. Stay, you stay on the phone. Let me get Buffy.” Spike heard Willow put down the phone and her footsteps as she moved away from it. A moment later he could hear whispers. He heard the phone being picked up and light breathing. He knew that sound like he knew the sound of his own voice.

“Hello!” her voice was soft, but he could sense traces of fear and apprehension.

“Hello.” he said in almost a whisper.

“Who is this?” Buffy asked.

“Buffy, god this is bloody hard.”

“Spike…” The phone fell to the floor and he heard a thud. He was angry at himself for not getting on the first flight out to be there in person. He heard Willow helping Buffy and hushed voices.

“Spike is that really you?”

“Yes.” he . W. Where are your witty words now, Spikey? he asked himself.

“How?” she paused. “Where are you?” Buffy asked confused.

“Landesteesterday in the office of the dark avenger. Seems like…”

“You’re with Angel?” she asked as she cut him off.

“Yeah! Seems like it.”

“Are you okay! Do you want me…”

Spike cut her off. It was painful to hear her voice and not be able to touch her. He desperately needed to touch her, to hold her, to love her. He sighed.

“No pet. Not sure what is brewing here, all I know is something is not right. I was brought here to fix something. I don’t know…” The truth was he didn’t know if he was back for the fix or back for an extended stay.

“All the more reason to…”

“Things are complicated, luv.”

“You don’t want me?” she asked on the verge of tears. It killed Spike to hear her voice. He wanted her, more now then ever.

“I want you but…” What was the blasted but? He had nothing to offer her. Nothing to give to her. The truth was…

“Spike, let me come, we can talk.”

“No, Buffy, not right now.” A long awkward silence passed between them.

“Angel in trouble?” Buffy asked softly. Spike could hear the tension in her voice.

“Might be. He is the reason why I am back.” He had hoped that he could keep control over his voice, not let it crack, not to show emotion. “Wes seems to think Angel passed his Champion status to me.”

“He okay?”

“Little black and blue.”

“Spikeu diu didn’t fight, did you.”

“Yes.”

“I should come.” she said with a worried voice.

“No, it would be complicated with you here, Buffy, for all three of us. Give it some time.” Oh God, he thought. He wanted her, desperately wanted her. He needed to ram himself deep within her and get lost in her touch. She was his air and it felt like he was suffocating without her. This is hell, he thought.

“Spike, I...”

“I know, Buffy, I know.”

They spoke for a little while longer as Buffy told Spike of how Sunnydale ended, how the gang was, and where they were living. She liked Bath, England. He could hear that she was happy with her knew role as guardian of slayers and one of the four co-founders of the new council of watchers. They sidestepped any talk about Giles. Finally he cried when he found out that Anya died in the battle. He didn’t want the phone call to end, but he had to cut her off.

“Buffy...”

“Spike, I love you, you know that, right?”

“I know.” His hand gripped the receiver harder. There was nothing more he wanted to do than to tell her that he loved her too, but felt that it would make difficult.

“When do.”

“I wilve yve you a call soon.”

“Tell Angel…” She paused. He could hear strain in her voice.

“I will. Goodbye, luv.” He hung up the phone before she could say goodbye.

His hands trembled as he reached for the bottle of JD.