Facultatem Saeva, Capacity for Cruelty

A/N: Still not mine, still mean to pre-Buffy Xander. Just a taste of how things are headed. I think the biggest warning here is incesty perving, maybe voyeurism?

This one is from Xander's point of view, as Severus experienced it through legilimency.

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I was in my room, laying on my bed and staring at the ceiling, trying to fall asleep. With any luck, I would close my eyes, have some nice dreams, and wake up to the morning. My parents would be passed out so I could get out of the house early. Hopefully, they would be passed out somewhere other than the bathroom so I could even shower and stuff. 

I could hear dad out in the dark hallway. I held my breath. Several times over the last few weeks, he had opened my door and stared at me when he thought I was asleep. This time, he ... did something else.

I kept my eyes closed and my breath as even as I could. I could hear him stumble into my room and close the door before he leaned back against it. I heard his zipper slide down.

It was a hot summer night and I slept in nothing but my ratty boxers. The blankets were already kicked to the end of the bed, so that left me pretty naked. I could feel the breeze from my overhead fan through the gaping hole in the seam of my boxers.

My senses sharpened and my heart raced as I heard a sound I recognized. The sound my own hand made when I stroked... But my dad wouldn't be doing that, right? I chanced a glance, barely opening my left eye for a moment. Yup. That's what he was doing. That drunk asshole. Gross.

I closed my eyes again and concentrated on my breathing. I bet he could see my nuts through that hole. Maybe if I pretended to turn over in my sleep?

The floor creaked and his hand slowed as he stepped up to my bed. I was freaking out. What the fuck was he doing now?

I felt something touch my nuts – moving my boxers so they were exposed more. He lifted them in his rough fingers and pulled them gently through the material before letting go. I focused on staying still. He was drunk. He would go away soon.

His hand stopped making slick noises and I felt the bed shift as he put weight on either side of my hips. My heart pounded but I just stayed put. I didn’t want to get hit again today. I felt his hot breath on my balls and then to my absolute horror, a wide, wet tongue.

Oh god, the first person to lick my balls is my dad. Does this count as a blow job? He did it three times, then stood and stepped back again. The noise started up again and I relaxed a little. He really had me scared there for a second.

The noise went faster and sounded wetter before I heard his breath hitch and a rumbling groan mark the end of his movements. He stood there a while longer before he zipped up and left.

I wanted to curl up but didn't dare make the bed squeak. So I just layed there, balls out, and thought about leaving home. Not for the first time, I came to the conclusion that I just couldn't do it. Not yet. Not with the gangs. I didn't want to end up in the obituary section of the school paper.

It took me a while to get to sleep.

When I woke up, I spent some time scrubbing the new stain out of my carpet. Then I took a shower and scrubbed my balls until they hurt. I spent that whole day thinking about what I would do next time. What if he didn't stop at a taste?

I didn’t tell Wills or Jessie or anyone. It would only get me in more trouble.

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Severus ended the spell and apparated back to his rooms. He sat down heavily on his chair. He felt uncomfortably sympathetic toward the young man. He understood being bullied, being scared.

Nonetheless, in two days, he would be the one causing Alexander’s anxiety. He would have to do so much worse than his father did. But surely, this one sacrifice was worth it if he could get close enough to the Dark Lord to stop his regime. After all, Severus knew he was already damned. What was one more innocent.

Right?

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A/N: I don't know about the point of view. Or the tense. I'll try it again for the next chapter. Let me know what you think.

Next chapter: Xander's dad is seriously terrible.