Childe in Need

 

All he could hear was screaming. All he could smell was blood. All he could feel was burning. And all he knew was that it was all his fault. Thousands of innocent faces played before his eyes; all of them whole at first, but then they became progressively more mutilated. The skin was torn apart, blood sprayed everywhere, the eyes fell open in vacant stares with looks of absolute terror still captured on the features. He had done this.

William could feel his hands, cruel and unfeeling breaking the frail mortals while his teeth ripped hungrily into throats to get at the warm nectar underneath.

No, this wasn't William, at least, not the human William. These images were visions from 'William the Bloody', the demon called Spike that had taken over his life. And he had let it happen all because of that woman.

More visions of death fell over him and he began to struggle, fight against the rivers of blood trying to drown him. The dead rose up all around him, people he had killed, tortured, maimed, all of them grabbing for him, trying to pull him under and destroy him. He tried to keep his head above the blood but he was slipping under, dragged by the weight of the innocents he'd killed. He screamed.

 

Angel was yanked violently out of his sleep by his childe's cries. He bolted up and rushed to the bed where Spike was thrashing and screaming, tangled in the blankets.

"Will!" He shouted, pulling the sheets away and grabbing the frantic blonde, waking Spike suddenly. Blue eyes snapped open, their depths filled with panic and fear but calming slightly once they settled on Angel.

"Sire?" he gasped out, clutching a little at his head.

"I'm here, Will," the older vamp assured him. He looked over his shoulder at the sound of footsteps running up the hall. Great, just what he needed. "And it seems everyone else is about to be too."

He turned back to Spike to find, well 'Spike' looking back at him.

"Bloody hell! Angel?" The blonde blinked a few times and looked around the room, backing up against the headboard. "The hell am I?"

Angel stood, putting himself between the door and the bed just as the entire gang came bursting through the door.

"Angel?" Cordelia called following an armed Wesley and Gunn through the door. "We heard screaming, is everything..."

They all froze at the sight of a shirtless and dirty Spike on the bed.

"...ok?" Cordelia finished, giving Angel a confused and slightly alarmed look. Soon Lorn and Fred joined them as well, making Angel feel really crowded.

"What the hell is going on?" Spike shouted, glaring around the room.

"Hey! That's our line, mister!" Cordy shouted back.

"Angel, what is he doing here?" Wesley's tone was calmer, but no less demanding.

"That's what I'd like to know!" Spike yelled, looking at Angel furiously before suddenly grabbing his head and starting to giggle deliriously. "Everyone's so loud! All shouting at me. 'Go, go, go to hell!' they say, but aren't I there?"

"Uh, Angel-cakes, I think he's broken," Lorn said, watching the blonde with wary concern.

"I know," Angel said, moving back to the younger vamp's side. "Will? You all right, boyo?"

Spike just started violently shaking his head, his laughing turning hysterical.

"Never all right, never been all right. Light burns and shows, reveals the demon and won't let me be all right!" Angel's brow creased in concern as Spike's babbling got worse. The others in the room shared confused looks and Fred sidled up to Cordy.

"I don't get it. Who is that?" she asked quietly. Cordy sighed dramatically and crossed her arms.

"Just one of Angel's old vampire proteges. Trust me, he's a pain in the ass."

"All right, uh, I think Angel has this under control. Why don't we give them a moment?" Wesley stepped in and started trying to herd everyone out the door. Cordy put up a fuss and Gunn looked very unwilling to leave.

"A moment?" Spike giggled loudly. "I've got eternity!" Then he starting singing a few lines of 'Danny-boy' in slurred and wobbly lines for absolutely no reason.

"No no! Wes' right, come on, chickadees," Lorn piped up and helped get everyone out of the room. He turned back before shutting the door to look at Angel. "I'll talk to you when you're done, pumpkin."

Angel gave the empathic demon a grateful smile before turning back to his troubled charge. Spike had quieted down and was just holding his head breathing heavily. The brunette reached out a hand but didn't touch the other vampire, uncertain if it would set him off.

"Will?"

"Great bloody bollocks on fire, would you stop calling me that." The blonde bit out quietly without looking up. Angel dropped his hand and backed up a little.

"How are you feeling?" he asked. Spike laughed bitterly and shot him a miserable look from under his hands.

"How the fuck you think I'm feeling?" he growled. They sat in silence for a long while after that until finally Angel couldn't take the silence. He didn't know how long Spike would be mostly lucid for.

"So... you have a...?" he started uncertainly. His childe just scoffed.

"Yeah."

"When did...?"

"A few months ago."

"Fuck."

"Yeah."

"How did it happen?" The older vamp asked.

"Demon Trials," Spike muttered, spitting the words out like foul blood. "I did them, made a wish, a bad wish, and they shoved fire down my throat."

Another silence stretched out between them as Angel absorbed that information. He was shocked that Spike had gone through the Demon Trials, let alone passed them. He had thought that maybe the other had been cursed, like himself or something similar. Why would Spike have fought so hard for his soul back? What had made him want it so much?

"Spike... you know I'm here for you... right?" the brunette says uncertainly. "I'll help you through this however I can."

The hysterical laughter was back but with an undertone of bitterness.

"Oh fuck me sideways with a chainsaw, Angel, I didn't know you gave a fuck!" Spike shouted, finally looking Angel in the eye.

"Of course I do," he answered levelly.

"Oh fuck you!" Spike yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Angel. "You selfish fucking tosser! Fuck you, and your poncing white horse! You never fucking gave a shit about me, ever! No it's only now that I've got myself a soul that you suddenly give a flying fuck! Fuck you, FUCK you... GYAHHHH!!"

The blonde let out a splitting scream and grabbed his head as his body pitched forward into Angel's chest.

"Spike!" Angel held him as he writhed in pain, blue eyes looking up at him in misery.

"Kill me... please... I can't take it anymore... this isn't... I didn't want..." he groaned pitifully and tried to roll away from the other vamp but Angel held him fast.

"I know, boyo, I know," he soothed, holding him tight and rocking his childe slightly. "I know it hurts but it'll get better. You'll get through this I promise."

"I don't want it, I don't want it!" the blonde started struggling, fighting his arms free of Angel's grip and trying to scratch at his chest. "I don't want this! Get it out!" His nails dug into skin that had only just begun to heal before Angel was able to recapture his hands.

"Spike, stop! It won't help." He pulled him close again, trying to keep the frantic vampire from hurting himself further. Spike collapsed, the fight suddenly going out of him as he lay against Angel. He started crying again, softer then before, and as Angel held him he was reminded again of how thin his childe had become.

"Spike, boyo, when was the last time you ate?" he asked quietly when the cries had died down a little.

"Don't know, don't care. Can't... eat. It's wrong, it's sick, but I need... I can't..." he quieted down, shaking his head and pulling away to fall limply against the pillows.

"Do you think you can stomach animal blood?" Angel urged. Spike just shrugged, curling up on himself in the covers. Angel slowly stood, wondering if he should leave his childe alone. Spike glanced up at him, blue eyes rolling as he sighed.

"For fuck's sake, Angel, stop staring at me like I'm about to shatter and get me some blood already!" he spat in frustration.

"Right, I'll be right back," the brunette responded. He made his way out of the room and towards the stairs, taking a long moment on the upper landing to prepare for the interrogation awaiting him in the lobby. Out of the frying pan, and into the fire.

 

Kuragari: my thanks to everyone who reviewed and my deepest apologies for taking so long on an update. I keep getting distracted by my ADD plot bunnies. Also I don't know if I mentioned but this story is post season 6 of Buffy, so Spike has a soul and he went all crazy, but post season 2 of Angel the Series. I kind messed with the time line a little and I hope you'll understand. Also any spoilers are by accident and I apologize in advance but there shouldn't be many. anyway enjoy!