Darkened Soul

A/N:- Thank you so much for the review Falco. I don't intend for Buffy to be Spikes ' victim ' as it were. Thanks for your suggestions, I don't mind if you make any, it allows me to see where you think the story is going from your prospective.

Here is Chapter two , I hope that you enjoy this one too.



Chapter 2 / Who Are You?

"Don't , let me just go. Your alive, I came ,I saw ,now move so I can go"

"Not so fast pet, you must have a reason for being here, so sit, let me explain"

"I get it, you got out of the Hell Mouth and you survived, so did the rest of us, congratulations, now move "

"You really honed your bitch skills Buffy, I thought you said you loved me, my mistake , must have been that pillar of fire fucking with my mind ,eh pet"

"What would you know, you have been missing months, I grieved for you. I'm past caring ,now let me go"

I shrug off his hold on my wrist and run from the club. The alcohol hits me as the fresh air fills my lungs and I stagger to a stop. My head swims and my stomach rebels against the volume of liquid still there. God this is the worst night of my life. I hear a man ask me if I'm okay and I just hold my hand out and push him away as I empty more of my stomachs contents onto the floor of the alley. I look up to see a couple further into the alley, they look like lovers , only that tingle races through my body. I watch as he finishes her off. I know that I should stop him, stake him, kill the predator, but I can't feel anything. Nothing but emptiness and despair .

"Why didn't you go after that vamp luv? You letting them run this town now?"

"Go away, what will it take for you to just leave me alone?"

"What the hell is wrong with you Slayer?"

"I'm not the Slayer now, stop calling me that"

"Right"

I struggle as he picks me up. I hit his chest, punch at him, claw him and yet his hold on me remains. The anger builds in me. I feel it burn me , sear me from inside and I scream. People watch as he carries me to an apartment. Why won't they help?

Once inside the apartment he dumps me on a bed.

"Stay there, just going to get you something for you to change into. You look like a bloody whore in that"

"Like you give a shit, I'm leaving"

I get off the bed and head for the door but he's there blocking the way. The anger returns and I take a deep breath. I open my eyes and look at him. I see the shock on his face and frown, he has the same fear in his eyes that I see in almost all that challenge me.

"What the hell is wrong with you Buffy?"

"Nothing that wouldn't be cured by you and the rest of the demons in this town going up in smoke"

"I tried that already pet and I'm still here"

"Well, I can see that, thanks to that demon friend of yours for the catch up"

I storm out of the apartment and ran home. Dawn had left a message on the machine, Giles had tried to get hold of me. I ignore them and just pick up the messages to make sure they are okay. Faith is the Slayer in charge now. That's what they all wanted before, turned me away for her, now they have her. I washed my hands with it all. I'm sick of making the sacrifices, let someone else do it now. Let's see how they cope for a change.I fall into bed and shut out the emotions that threaten to overwhelm me. Sleep claims me . My dreams fill with his face again.

Wolfram and Hart.

"I'm telling you Angel, she's changed and not for better. There's something wrong with her. Her eyes were dark black and when I looked into them I saw nothing. She's empty"

"What do you want to do? Bring her here and run tests?"

"She won't come here, I tried to get her back to my place and help her but she ran off. She's drinking heavily , it's like she's self destructing"

"Can you blame her? She's lost everyone she cares about except Dawn" Angel sighed

"I'm still here, but it's like she doesn't care"

"Maybe she doesn't , not now"

"You would say that, after your touching speech outside the tomb and the cookie dough crap. You just want to see if she's ready to give you another go" the bitter tone in Spike voice hit a nerve

"Spike, give it a break, I have Nina, Buffy's out of the equation"

"Yeah, dog girl got you on a leash now , try another line mate, that ones not working"

"If you can get Buffy here I'll help, but if she really is as far gone and dangerous as you say she is it's down to you to deal with anything that happens,see if Wesley knows about the origins of the Slayer, it might help"

"I'll do that, get some of those wankers in recon to keep a watch out for her" Spike stormed out of the office.

I woke up with the hangover from hell. Each morning is the same. Wake , go to the bathroom, heave up the remnants of the night before, shower , eat breakfast , listen to the messages on the phone and then find a bar to hide in.

I keep to the other side of town today. After being tracked down by the empath demon , I want to avoid being found again. Spike had seen me. Had tried to help me. Stood in front of me and had seen the depth of pain in me and tried to help. Like he cared, like he could help me.He couldn't stop the pain or the anger, he's the cause , the catalyst that started this.

Maybe it wasn't right for me to run out on him. I should have told him that he meant nothing to me now. My love for him died that day in the pit that is now Sunnydale. He wouldn't come looking again after that. The barman refills my glass and I throw money at him, I empty the glass and walk out. The sun stings my eyes and I walk to my favorite diner. The waitresses all know me and have my order ready for me. I listen as a group of teens whisper insults and take the piss out of me. My cold stare is enough to shut them up. After , a few of them they give up and leave. I watch as the girls shudder. My laugh echoes in my head, taking joy in their nervousness. The door opens and a guy in a suit sits opposite me and orders a coffee. He smells like a demon, but he's definitely human. Takes all sorts, he's probably married to a demon or just screwing one. I take no more notice of him and carry on eating.

The walk back to my apartment takes me past the bar again, the one that I saw him in. Funny how I hadn't noticed that before. Maybe I should keep walking but curiosity makes me walk in. The air is thick with smoke and the smell of alcohol still. I sit at a table and watch the different faces come and go. They all seem so happy, I was once. I sigh and mentally tell myself to stop dwelling on the past, look to the future, what future? Slaying and nothing else , that's all I see for myself. What a shitty existence.

The three vamps that I have just dusted came from Sunnydale, they all heard what happened and how Spike had sacrificed himself. They thought that it would give them an edge, thought I'd break down or something and they would be able to kill me. Idiots. While they were cockily rubbing the salt in my 'wounds' , I took them out. The last vampire didn't even see it coming. If they had made their way here then I'm sure a lot of the other vamps and demons have too. Soon it will be common knowledge that the Slayer William the Bloody sacrificed himself for , is here. That's what I dread.Since leaving the crater that was the Hell Mouth, I haven't been on any demon hit lists. They all thought that I had died closing the Hell Mouth and that another Slayer had been called. Every city thought that the Slayer there was the new one. No demon had yet to work out that there was in fact, hundreds of Slayers.

So now I guess I'm going to be busy defending my own life. Is it really worth saving? I'm not 'the' Slayer now, the world would still be protected and it's not like I'd be missed.I get home, Home? This room with a bed and a fridge and nothing else. It's a far cry from the large house filled with all the comforts you could want. The house that was full with family and friends. The house in the town that I called home. The town and house I loved. Just another thing that was taken from me. I lie on my bed and feel the hatred boil up inside of me, making me beat my fists against my pillow and mattress, makes me kick and punch the walls. I stop once the rage ebbs away and stare at the walls. They have large holes in them where I take my frustration and anger out on them regularly.I snort as I think that there's no way I'm getting the security deposit back. But I don't care, the only time that's likely to occur is if I die, and it's not like I'll need it back then, is it.

I finally fall asleep and the dreams routinely occur. I am dragged back through them , making me hostage to my own thoughts and fantasies.

Tonight's have him in them, again, only this time we're not back in Sunnydale, we're here. He's fighting along side me again and he's protecting me. I can't let him back in , I can't let him take care of me again. He'll die again and my conscience is full of his last death and everyone else's. I don't have room for any more.


Wolfram and Hart


"Angel, I found the place she's staying at and it's even shittier than my bloody crypt back in Sunnydale"

"So what do you suppose I do? Move her here?"

"No, she'd be too close to you , wanker, I'm talking about giving her one of the Wolfram and Hart houses"

"And you think she'll accept that do you?"

"She might if it came from you"

"Spike she doesn't want anything from you, me or anyone else for that matter. She just wants to be left alone, can't you get that through you thick skull"

"We leave her Angel and she's going to get swallowed up by the darkness in her. I promised I wouldn't let that happen to her"

"Then I guess your too late , we're all too late"

"Wes reckons it's the first Slayer and the First evil that did this to her "

"Then I suggest keeping your distance, The First tried to get me to kill myself once. As for the First Slayer, bad news again. I'd be careful Spike."

"Ain't I always?"

Spike had followed me home , I could sense him. He didn't approach me so I just ignore the fact that he was there and returned home again.I can feel him hovering outside the door. I sigh and opened the door and startle him.

"Come in here now"

He steps across the threshold and I pin him to the wall

"What part of leave me alone do you not get? How fucking stupid are you?"

The fear is back in his eyes and I can smell it.

"I came to check up on you. I'm worried about you Buffy. Some thing's wrong and I think it's the First "

"Good one " I snigger " You think I'm possessed by the First?"

"Yes "

I let him down and back away from him

"You're the one that died and came back, how do I know your not 'it' "

"You don't, but going by who's acting out of sorts love ,I'd say it's you that's got the uninvited on board"