Life Behind A Shadow

Chapter 2



Two years later….





Faith couldn’t get her breath.



The view from this part of the mountain was spectacular. Coors Lite was some crappy beer but it wasn’t because of poor quality ingredients.



The beautiful sight of the sun-dappled Rockies took up most of the horizon. And damn if there wasn’t a beer commercial perfect stream a few yards away.



Faith would have been able to appreciate the late afternoon wooded splendor she was surrounded by if she and Dean hadn’t been fighting.



If she hadn’t freaked out and told him they could have enjoyed a well deserved day off but instead here she was gasping for breath in the thin Colorado air after running away from Dean.



Again.



She knew he would be along soon. This wasn’t one of their normal bad arguments where things got so heated and one of them (nine times out of ten Faith) decided they couldn’t take anymore so they took off. A few hours later there was a return, an apology or two, and things got heated again when they made up between the sheets.



You could set your watch by the pattern of their fighting over the last almost year and a half. Hell Sam didn’t even bother getting upset on either one of their behalves anymore. He just knew how to keep the one who stayed calm-alcohol worked the best- while things played out and when to clear out if they only had one room to give them a little privacy. Normal Faith and Dean fights were, though intense at the time, stupid fights a couple could laugh about later.



This latest fight was not.



Faith pondered her next move.



‘Go to a doctor? No. Don’t want to.’ Faith thought.



‘It’s just stupid magic anyway.’ That boy they saved was no worse for the wear. He got a full blast of the stuff so why should she be worried when she wasn’t even near the circle?



‘Maybe because he’s got boy parts and he’s not the one a month late idiot.’



“Shit!” shouted as she punched the nearest tree.



Dean chose that time to finally make his way up to that part of the trail.



Faith was surprised it he got there so fast. Dean was still a little tired from their previous job killing some succubi in Arizona a couple of weeks ago. The new one had been easy – thus the afternoon off- but Faith could tell he was still edgy from the lack of sleep and stress.



Hot strong young stud or not that kind of wear took a toll. And in an honest moment like this she could admit even though she was a Slayer it wore her out too. Thus she’d gotten him to come with her to the park. It wouldn’t be much, a blanket, her flask to help ward off the early winter chill, a little snuggle in the sun. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon with your man. But she’d brought her worries with her too.



So the fact that things deteriorated quickly when he’d asked innocently about the screw they’d had the other day shouldn’t have been a surprise but it was.



“Usually your pushing me away around now. Not that I’m complaining though.” Dean smirked as he held her happily remembering what an expert Faith was at giving head.



Faith didn’t know why and she sure as hell wasn’t going to put it down to hormones but she made a sharp remark about if he didn’t like it there was always his fucking hand.



Faith winced as she remembered how Dean’s face scrunched up, hurt and confused.



His question of “What’s gotten into you?” was met by a similar response.



They’d been together long enough that Dean could read when Faith was really pissed or when she was just being defensive so when he, thinking this was one of those defensive times, he probed again, she’d just blurted it out.



“Oh just…fuck it! I’m late! That what you wanted to know?”



And then she’d run.



Up the trail to god knows where but it was better than feeling smothered by a situation she barely had a hold of.



And now here was Dean equally out of breath, his eyes wild and worried, moving towards her ready she was sure to use up what little oxygen was left.



“Are you sure?” Dean panted, hands now on her shoulders, trying to turn her so she would look at him.



Fuck that she was a Slayer. She wouldn’t move.



“Not sure about anything. I just know I’m late.”



Dean’s grip got tighter as his mind raced.



This was the longest relationship for either one of them had been in by a mile. And best of all things were for the most part pretty easy between them considering everything.



Dean briefly considered that he should be scared but he wasn’t. That stunned him even more. So he held her tighter trying to impart some of the unexpected calm he felt beginning to wash over him to her.



It wasn’t working.



“We need to get you to a doctor.” Dean insisted as gently as he could. He moved his hands from her tensed shoulders down so he could wrap his arms around her waist mimicking the position they were in just minutes before.



Dean spoke into her ear as he gently rubbed her stomach, “Babe. I know you are freaked. It’s okay. Let’s just find out what the situation is for real. That’s all I’m saying.”



Faith’s tension increased as Dean annoyingly stroked the problem area. She tried to calm herself but when his finger brushed the top of the thin scar above her right hip that was the last straw.



She spun around and grabbed him by his shoulders holding him in place so that he absolutely heard what she had to say.



“No.” Faith said firmly. “And this conversation’s over.”



As she held Dean, literally at arms length, she hoped if he wouldn’t accept what she said he would understand the look in her eye.



Dean had seen it before. Usually during fights when things had maybe gotten a little out of control, some creature had got a blow in that Faith hadn’t been expecting and damn it, it wasn’t going to happen again.



Faith was the best at shutting things the fuck down.



And that’s what she did then, finally letting Dean go with a slight shove and storming away back to the motel.



*****



“Uh…Uh…Uh…Oh...,Ahhhhh…Uh…Urrrrgggh...FUCK!”



Sam grabbed onto the top of the toilet tank to steady himself as his orgasm lurched him forward.



The naked spread eagled blonde in the porno mag he’d been using to get off looked like she was smirking at him as she floated underwater, Sam having dropped the magazine into the toilet as his orgasm took him.



See this is why he didn’t like doing this in the bathroom.



But he didn’t feel comfortable doing it in the main room of the motel room. Thin walls, too many vacationing families around, the possibility of someone walking in and frankly when he came he got pretty loud so in the bathroom it was.



At least he could run the shower to blunt some of the noise because the last thing he needed was for the three of them to get kicked out of another motel. He’d already used up the only excuse he could, giving a slightly red faced shrug and saying ‘Sorry about that. Newlyweds’ to a complaining manager to explain away Dean and Faith’s boinkfesting a couple of days ago.



Besides worse than getting kicked out of the motel would be Dean’s inevitable teasing about why they got booted.



Sam sighed as he fished Miss November out of the bowl.



“Ew.” Sam proclaimed as he held the magazine up with a thumb and forefinger and tried to minimize the completely gross drops from touching him.



He’d almost made it over to the wastebasket when he heard a cell phone ring.



Surprised because he didn’t recognize the tone he dropped the magazine quickly and ran into the main room.



There was nothing special about the ring except for the fact that he’d never heard it before. Maybe it was a cell phone left by someone who had the room before?



He closed his eyes as he tried to locate the area the sound was coming from.



He pinpointed it coming from under Faith’s pile of clothes in her duffle bag.



Rooting around with the non-gross non-wet hand, trying to ignore the fact that he essentially was going through Faith’s underwear, he finally got a hold of the phone and held it up to look at the display.



‘R 999’ appeared on the display before being replaced by text saying that there was one missed call.



Sam stared at the phone. He’d never seen Faith with it. In fact he didn’t even know Faith had a cell phone. Whenever they were on a job Faith just used his or Dean’s if she needed one.



Intrigued he made a mental note to let Faith know about the call and placed the phone on the dresser.



After the noisiness of the last few minutes Sam took time to enjoy the silence of the room as he cleaned up and got dressed.



There had been few moments of peace for the three of them in the last few weeks. Thus why he was in the motel room alone while Faith and Dean got some real alone time in.



It was a shame though. It seemed lately that the only time you got to take a breather was when you absolutely needed one.



Sam broke away from the sight of himself mirror trying to shake those sullen thoughts when Faith came charging into the room.



Faith sat heavily down on one of the beds, head in hands, one leg fidgeting like crazy.



All Sam could do was stare. What happened and where was Dean?



Part of him was afraid to push her to open up but knowing that with Faith the alternative, letting her stew in her anger till she exploded, was way worse.



He also knew he couldn’t go in straight away. He had to wait for a better moment than this.



Remembering the phone call she missed he decided to start there.



Moving closer he called out to her “Faith? Faith!”



Faith raised her head. Her face was reddened, Sam couldn’t tell whether it was from anger or something else but he knew an afternoon in the park shouldn’t make you look like that.



“Faith your cell phone rang while you and Dean were out. I put it on the dresser.”



Faith was momentarily stunned but she recovered quickly.



“How long ago was the call?”



“Not too long.” Sam replied.



“Did you answer it?” Faith asked getting up and walking to where the phone was.



“No. It’s not my phone so…”



She stared at the grey plastic square like it held some deeper meaning.



Faith picked up the phone and from Sam’s point of view looked like she steeled herself before flipping it open.



“Fuck.” She muttered seeing the number of who called.



She pressed a single number on the phone and walked over to the other side of the room to where the bay window was.



Faith stared outside waiting for the line to pick up.



Sam couldn’t hear much but did recognize the muffled voice that answered as female.



“He there?” Faith asked angrily. “Yeah. Then go get him.”



There was more waiting which provided plenty of time for Sam to wonder just who this he was.



The “he” in question must have finally gotten because the muffled voice was now deeper.



The only parts of the conversation that Sam could hear were the short “Yeahs” and “Umms” coming from Faith. Not much information there but the “Shit!” she cursed part of the way through signaled this probably wasn’t a good call.



Faith was still on the phone when Dean made his entrance swinging the door open so hard that banged against the wall.



He looked to be in as bad a shape as Faith but more pissed off judging from the angry stance he took as he glared at Faith on the phone.



Faith was oblivious. A few more “Yeahs” and she walked over to the other side of the room past Dean, who was so angry that he seemed he couldn’t move or tear his gaze away from Faith, to scribble something on an old take out receipt sitting on one of the nightstands.



The man on the phone made some more muffled noises to which Faith answered finally “I’ll be there”.



Flipping the phone closed she made her way back to the other side of the room but was yanked to a stop when Dean’s hand shot out and grabbed her arm.



Sam uttered a small, “Oh shit.” under his breath at the sight. Answers to what was going on weren’t going to be coming be but he was sure that the cops were going to be involved if things kept going like they were.



Running over to his brother he pulled Dean off of the young woman.



Faith surprisingly hadn’t seemed to notice or care because she just kept going, walking over to a pile of her dirty clothes that were on the floor and beginning to shove them into a bag.



“So you’re just going to fucking leave. Is that it?” Dean yelled.



Faith continued to ignore him opening drawers now searching for more of her things to pack.



Dean was incredulous he tried to move forward but Sam held him back. Dean knew that he couldn’t stop her from going if she really wanted to but he deserved more than this shit. It was his too.



“You didn’t answer me.” Dean said, “’Cause if you are going you are the biggest fucking coward in the world.”



At that Faith turned and looked at the two men. The phone call must have been a heavy because she now seemed more subdued and numb. Whatever she and Dean were fighting about replaced by something else.



“It’s not all about you.” she addressed to Dean. “I just got something to take care of and I can’t be here to do it.”



Dean scoffed. “And what’s more important than this?”



“A friend’s in trouble. It’s looking like he might die.” Faith replied and finished insisting, “I’m going to be there for him.”



Both men thought the same question ‘What friend?”. In the time she had been working with the brothers she hardly mentioned any other relationships. In the early hours of the morning, after one love making session, Dean had heard her confess briefly about her parents. Both gone. According to her she had no other family. She never mentioned the people they’d seen her with when they encountered her in L.A. The only other relationships she talked about were sexual so who had she been talking to?



For Dean the fact that this friend was a “he” was the last straw. Maybe that guy was the father?



“Your friend? Where exactly is this friend?” Dean asked angrily.



Faith finished her quick packing job. Slinging her duffle over her shoulder she answered “Cleveland. He’s been sick for a while.”



Dean squirmed out of Sam’s grasp walking until he was right in Faith’s way, “No. We’re going to settle this before you go anywhere.”



Faith who could have thrown Dean through the flimsy wall of the motel and about fifty feet into the parking lot if she felt like it, looked exasperated and tired at Dean’s challenge.



She ignored Dean and to Sam’s surprise looked to him. “I need a ride to the bus station. Can you take me?”



Being included in the conversation wasn’t what Sam wanted and he sure didn’t want to play referee.



Lying because he could feel the keys to the Impala in his pocket, Sam said, “I don’t have the keys.”



Faith looked at him and understood. It was a family thing. Fine.



She went over to the nightstand and pulled out the yellow pages flipping to the “Taxi” section.



“You’re really gonna do this? After everything?” Dean asked.

Faith just kept looking through the book.



Dean threw up his hands exasperated. After thinking for a second he tried again. “We’ll drive you…” He said.



Faith thankful this drama was over, looked up and put the phone book down. She made a move towards the door when Dean finished saying, “…to Cleveland.”



Faith stopped in her tracks looking at Dean quizzically wondering what he was up to.



“It’ll less than a day if we leave right now. Your friend will be able to hold out that long won’t he?”



Faith pondered the offer. Hours of being stuck in a car with Dean right now, wasn’t her idea of a good time but it would be quicker than a Greyhound that stopped in every podunk town along the route.



Faith didn’t answer instead she just walked out of the motel room out towards the car.



*****



Dean was still white knuckling the steering wheel as drove the Impala through Iowa.



He’d insisted on driving, snatching the keys out of Sam’s hands back in Glenwood Springs. He was flying by the seat of his pants on this one and driving was the only thing he felt he could be in control of.



Dean normally liked silent late night drives like this. Highway hypnosis was usually a welcome form of meditation that broke the insanity of his life.



Now all the silence afforded him was more time to worry about what was going to happen once they got to Cleveland.



He’d gotten a little taste of what might be in store a couple of hours into the trip when they had to make their first stop for gas.



Dean had pulled the Impala into the parking lot of a large rest stop which conveniently had not only a gas station but a CVS too.



The minute they’d stopped Faith got out of the car and marched right into the store. Hoping that he could get Faith alone, Dean stuck Sam with filling up the car while he trailed Faith.



Listening to the sound of his footfalls crunching against the asphalt he wondered how he and Faith had gotten to this point. She hadn’t said a word to him since the fight at the motel. Faith pointedly climbed in the back of the car with her things to get as far from Dean as she could. Dean understood that. He was still wound up when they took off but hours later, when he had calmed down and thought that they could at least be civil, she’d just ignored the small talk he tried to make.



He couldn’t even look to Sam for some help, seeing the other man’s awkwardness

as Sam squirmed in the passenger seat, giving off vibes that he’d rather be anywhere but in the car with the two of them.



So since Dean had nothing else to work with and feeling more like he was out on a limb with each passing minute he slipped into the store behind Faith.



He found Faith standing in the candy aisle yapping away with that damn cell phone plastered to her ear.



She paced back and forth, nearly knocking over some little kid who was drooling over some candy bars.



Dean’s jealousy flared. Though Dean had learned and sort of accepted that there were parts of Faith that she just wouldn’t let him reach the idea she might be talking too god knows who about things instead of him…



Faith’s conversation ended and she stalked off to another aisle. Dean followed.



Faith stopped at the condom aisle or that’s how Dean had always thought of it. But now he watched as his girlfriend’s face scrunched up, unsure as she tried to figure out just which pregnancy test would give her the bad news.



Dean had kept his distance but seeing her take even this tiny step at acknowledging what they needed to do propelled him forward until he was standing behind her.



“I’ll pay for half.” Dean said jokingly trying to use a gentler approach.



Faith continued her browsing.



“You just going to keep ignoring me?” Dean asked moving to Faith’s side trying to get her to see him if she wasn’t going to listen.



Faith grabbed one of the tests off the shelf and to Dean’s surprise turned towards him and looked him in the eye and answered.



“No. Are you going to keep stalkin’ me when you know damn well I don’t feel like talking right now?” Faith retorted.



“You going to take that test?”



Faith didn’t answer.



Dean took a chance and squeezing in between Faith and the shelves.



“I’m not trying to push you.” Dean explained holding his hands up in gesture of supplication and continued.



“I just…” Dean struggled with the words he wanted to say. Feeling suddenly vulnerable he stuffed his hands in his pockets and breaking eye contact with the woman who could be carrying his child he simply finished by saying, “You know how I feel.”



After a second or two of silence Dean forced himself to look up.



Faith was still staring at him taking in what she’d just heard the closest either one of them had gotten to anything approaching declaring their relationship meant more.



Looking over this man, she remembered in flashes their first meeting in L.A. She remembered their second meeting. She’d left Cleveland in a frazzled run a few months before with a Council cleaned record and ended up running into the two men in Nebraska.



She and Dean didn’t waste time. They hooked up that same night and Faith not having anywhere else to be decided to stay on for a bit. What better way to begin a new lease on life with a hottie who could keep up with you at work and play?



Staying on for a bit had turned into the longest stay she’d had anywhere that hadn’t had bars and guard towers to keep her confined.



The months with Dean and Sam had passed without her really noticing and now here she was having screwed up a perfectly good situation again.



Faith more scared than she could admit came up with the only answer she could muster.



“And you know how I am.” She said giving the pregnancy test box to Dean before turning and walking away.



And that had been that.



There had been a repeat performance of her distancing herself from him when they stopped for what turned out to be an incredibly tense dinner at a diner along the way.



Dean watched her as he nursed a bitter cup of coffee. She sat in the opposite booth with Sam and barely looked at him as she ate.



Dean continued to choke the steering wheel, remembering how easy it was for her to toss him out of her life.



Sam and Faith’s light snoring didn’t cover up the sound of the pregnancy test shifting in its paper bag on the floorboard below.



Dean decided to pay for it himself.