Solace

~Buffy’s Perspective~

Awkwardness, check, double check, and a gold star. I’m not sure what I was expecting on the slow walk back to my house. Perhaps idle chatter to cover up the awkwardness, or just talking about what happened in the funeral home to cover up the....awkwardness. There’s a definite chatter expectation. But so far the walk has been silent, completely devoid of any and all discussion of anything, and so the awkwardness reigns supreme over the moment, like a repressive mist following us around.



I kind of figured Xander would have said something by now, being the king of saying the right thing at the oddest of times, but he walks beside me, his hands in his pockets, and his eyes straying over to look at me every minute or so. I feel like such a girl! A silly little girl who can’t look a guy I know in the eyes without blushing. I know of Xanders crush, he’s never really been secretive about it and he even told me face to face, but he’s always been off limits due to Willow’s schoolgirl crush.



I never really thought of it too much anyway. I mean, imagining Xander as anything more than a close friend is something I have never been able to do. He’s special to me, my rock in a world that constantly tries to knock me down. He’s risked his life for me, been there for me when I needed him, and always acted the role of my protector, although I’ve rarely ever needed one. I’m the Slayer afterall, destroy of all that is bad, doer of good things, and unwilling protector of the Hellmouth.



After all of the things I have seen and felt, how could one human boy make me feel so...normal? I let out a sigh of frustration ad Xander apparently hears it, because he looks at me with those concerned eyes I’m so used to seeing, and like seeing as much as I hate to admit it. I may be a Slayer, but I’m still a girl, and I like the thought of having a Prince Charming.



“Everything alright, Buffster?” He asks and a small smile creeps onto my face, “Yeah,” I reply, “Things are just so stressful right now and I haven’t had a decent nights rest in a long time.” He smiles back at me and, hesistantly I notice, wraps an arm across my back and holds me close as we walk. I can feel my body tense for a few moments but take him up on his offer of comfort, and relax my head softly against his shoulder.



I’ve never walked like this before, not even with Angel, because I thought it was too girly and intimate, as if I’m relaxing against someone and depending on them. Being the slayer means I have to be strong in body, mind and heart. Being in any situation where I let the tender side of me show makes me feel weak. Because I let that side take over before, Angelus is loose and killing innocent people.



My heart beats faster and I silently tell myself to pull away and walk strong, with my nose held high, and show people I don’t need anyone, but as Xander squeezes me tighter, but still gently enough to make me feel fragile, I relax even more against him, seeking more of his comfort. For the first time in a long time, I’m not completely tense.



~Xander’s Perspective~

When her head rests on my shoulder I swear I almost kiss her. I know I should set aside that dangerous desire, but for crying out loud Buffy is acting like she needs me right now. Needs ME. Of all the people she could get comfort from, I’m the one she is relaxing with. Today has been one hell of a day, and Buffy depending on me like this is right out of a dream. Of course in that dream I usually save her from Angelus and then make love to her, but having her against me like this still feels dream-like.



I felt a sigh of relief build up in me when we finally reach her currently dark house. I notice her mother’s car is missing from the driveway, and when we walk up to the front door she slowly pulls away from me and slides the key into the lock. “Hey Buff, where’s your mom?” I ask and she opens her door and replies, “She’s out on a date. She wouldn’t tell me with who but she probably won’t be back for a few more hours.”



She enters her house and when I don’t follow her she turns and looks at me curiously. She’s alone, I canNOT leave her alone while Angelus still has an all access pass to her house, but I also have a feeling that if I go inside and have her to myself for any length of time, I’ll do or say something stupid. She seems to sense that and nods slightly, “You should go home and sleep Xan, I’ll be alright.”



As she moves to close her door my protective side gives me a sift kick in the nuts and I stop the door with my hand. “No, I’m going to stay here with you until your mother gets home.” Granted, even with me here I would most likely be a nuisance if Angelus decides to make a housecall, but nonetheless I refuse to leave her alone.



“Xander, I’m a big Slayer, I don’t need you to protect me.” Her eyes glare at me but her voice tells me she isn’t the least bit offended that I keep acting like she needs to be protected. “Well too bad,” I say and push open the door and enter her house beside her, “Because Buffy Protection Service is going to be here until your mom gets back.” She stares at me for a few seconds, as if trying to decide if throwing me out to the sidewalk would be appropriate.



I steel my eyes and try to put on the best “Just try to make me leave” look I can. Of course, if she wanted me to leave she could MAKE me leave, but I have a feeling she won’t. We have a battle of wills for a moment but then she admits defeat and sighs, “Fine, you can stay. Just don’t get used to it.”



From that point on all awkwardness just seems to take a break. We cook some popcorn, watch some crappy late night tv shows on the Sci-Fi channel, and laugh at all of the really crappy special effects. Any scariness these things might have had in the past felt dull compared to our actual lives. Not a single one of these monsters are scary, and the villains wouldn’t last ten seconds against Buffy.



Somewhere between laughing, poking fun at crappy effects, and channel surfing Buffy had cuddled against me. I didn’t notice it for a while, because it just felt so natural. An image of Cordelia appears in my mind and I forcefully push it away. My focus is on Buffy tonight, and if I can make her smile and laugh then I will do anything in my power to keep it going. This is the first time I’ve seen her so....lighthearted in a long time. For about an hour we continue on without any problems, and I find myself actually enjoying myself.



Every once in a while we would click through the channels and accidentally come upon those late night pornos. I was definitely not a stranger to these things, but every time we passed one I could feel Buffy’s body heat up and shift uncomfortably. Her shifting causes her body to rub against mine, which also causes an erection that I desperately try to hide. The last thing I want is for Buffy to discover I have a hardon and ruin the good mood she’s in.



About ten minutes later we come upon another one and Buffy press the remote to quickly change the channel but...nothing happens. On the screen it shows a dark haired guy spreading the legs of a young blonde woman. He slowly licks his tongue against her slit and a whimper of pleasure escapes from the woman. I shake my head to clear the cobwebs and places a hand on my thigh to stand up, but her fingers brush lightly against my erection.



I’m not sure if she feels it or not, because she runs over to the tv, switches it off, and looks back at me. She shudders visibly and my spider senses tell me she’s aroused. Part of me is extremely excited about that, but another part of me really doesn’t know what to do. She just stands there, looking at me, and I look back at her, motionless. I can tell she is fighting the urge to look down, but unable to control herself she does, and both of our attentions are drawn to my very obvious erection.



Shit.



~Buffy’s Perspective~

“Buffy Anne Summers control yourself!” My mind yells at me and I sigh inwardly. Slaying makes me horny, and usually I’m able to control it, but immediately after the last slay I kissed Xander, which only made it worse. During the walk home I was able to control myself and my arousal dipped down to a more manageable levels. If Xander had left before, I would have taken a shower and then handled the arousal.



But I didn’t, and for the last hour I’ve had Xander against me, with the very graphic porn popping up a little too frequently, and it rose back up again. The video of the blonde getting oral sex was too much for me, but now I find myself shaking a little. I’ve almost always had a chance to take care of my arousal after slaying, but now it’s become a little too much. And then I felt something hard as I got up to turn the tv off.



I’m not stupid, I know exactly what it was. Angel and I didn’t do much. There was some kissing and we got straight to the sex. I guess we just figured we had time for everything else later, but we didn’t expect the curse. Since then I’ve been left with the knowledge of how incredible sex can feel, but no Angel to experiment with. My eyes involuntarily wander down his body and to the erection I know he has.



Xander moves slightly and I look back up into his eyes and the intense stare he gives me makes my legs feel like jelly and between my legs feel wet. I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way, but couple the slaying arousal, the fact that I had bliss for one night before it was taken away, and months of crippling stress, my body just wasn’t listening to reason. I walk over to Xander, bend down, and kiss him.



I half expect him to be the voice of reason here, despite being a horny teen himself, and for a few moments Xander doesn’t do a thing. Just when I think I might have made a mistake his arms wrap around me and pull me down on top of him. We kiss each other passionately enough to make my entire body feel inflamed, while at the same time making my slayer muscles relax and the tender girl in me to come out.



Our bodies press together and I whimper at the feel of his erection pressing between my legs, and the sounds I make seem to spur Xander on even further and make him shove his hips upward, driving his erection between my legs. “I shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t do this.” I keep repeating those words in my head but at the same time I push my hips down and rubs against his erection.



Small moans and gasps are torn irregularly from our bodies between frantic kisses and movements. One hand starts to move up my body while the other one stays behind me, and I let it continue. When his hand gently cups my right breast through my shirt I moan into his mouth, and he takes that as encouragement to squeeze it. Even now, when both of our bodies are fighting to get closer to each other, and our arousal is growing so high, he’s gentle with me.



The fact that even now Xander is treating me less like the Slayer and more like a woman makes me warm in a good way in my chest. His hand continues to explore my breast, squeezing and pulling on my nipple. Part of me wonders how I could have possibly ended up in this position with Xander, but another part makes me push closer to him, closer to his body, mouth, and hands. It’s at that point, in all the heat, moans, and fire, that I realize I need him. I need Xander Harris.



With that thought in mind I reluctantly pull my lips off his, and his erection still feels hard between my legs. The pained look on his face lets me know that maybe his pants weren’t baggy enough to keep his hardon in comfortably. “Xander,” I somehow manage to whisper, “I need you.” I grind my hips down against his erection and my name comes out of his mouth in a strangled moan, proving to me more than ever that he needs me.



When I feel his hardon twitch between my legs, I know what I need to do next, and Xander will be the first one I’ve ever done it to. I pull my body away from his and stand up, using that brief moment to look down at him. A small moan escapes my body as I see how horny he is. The look in his eyes told me he would devour me if given the chance. Having that power makes me feel like a woman.



~Xander’s Perspective~

Every ounce of my willpower is being used not to jump her right now. The look in her eyes holds so many possibilities, and when she bends down to her knees between my legs my mind jumps ahead five minutes in the future and I moan lustfully at what I hope she’s going to do. I can see the nervousness in her eyes and when her hand tentatively reaches out and closes around my still covered erection, I close my eyes and hiss in pleasure.



“Please,” Buffy says and the tenderness in her voice makes me open my eyes again, “Look at me.” She finishes and my heart beats even faster. What I see before me isn’t a strong, demon fighting, vampire dusting, world saving Slayer. I see in front of me a nervous but terribly turned on young woman. I nod and smile, “I’ve never stopped looking at you, Buffy.” She blushes and I can’t help but smile wider, but when she squeezes me again I moan.



She finally unzips my pants and slowly pulls them down my legs, leaving me in my boxers which gives me more growing room, but is still too uncomfortable. She stares at the bulge in my boxers, which makes my skin feel hot. She finally takes my boxers and slowly lowers them, my hardon springs free and I moan as the uncomfortable tightness vanishes. I’m not enormous, but I like that I’m seven inches long. Yes, I have measured myself.



Her wide eyes stare at my penis, and I can’t help but enjoy her attention. I do find it strange though, she’s slept with Angel but right now it looks like she is really looking at a real penis for the first time. When it looks like she finally maps out my penis in her mind, her hand slowly wraps around it. “B-Buffy...” I moan and she looks up into my eyes as if she did something wrong. God, this girl is doing everything right so far.



The sight of Buffy’s face just inches away from my penis, with her hand wrapped around it and her eyes boring into me I fought to keep myself under control. I can’t let this end before it really begins. If only I could take a picture. “Xander,” She whispers and looks down down slighty, “I’ve never done this before.” What?! But her...Angel...virginity...how the hell? She looks back up at me and when she sees my questioning look she explains, “We didn’t have the chance to do anything else.”



So I’m going to the first one to...? Oh shit oh shit oh shit! I wrestle furiously with my self control and even more so when I feel her hand start to gently move up and down my shaft. “Oh God, Buffy.” I moan and she stops for a moment in concern, but upon realizing it was pleasure and not pain she continues. I can’t help the sounds that come out of my mouth, and with each moan it only seems to encourage her further.



I never take my eyes away from her, and her arousal seems to build with my own. “Please hold off as long as you can.” She whispers and flicks out her tongue, licking the head of my penis. My hips nearly leap off the couch, but sensing this might happen, she holds me in place. I struggle to think of anything to calm myself down. Snyder in a thong, Oz naked, Giles having sex, but nothing works well at all! Her hand continues to move up and down my hard shaft while her tongue explores my penis.



She knows what she’s doing to me, I can see it on her face, and I can also see that she’s loving it. I don’t know if she’s loving her power over me or loving what she is doing to me. Either way, I keep moaning and gasping and grabbing at the couch as her tongue explores every inch of my hardon. I should get a medal for holding off this long!



She suddenly stops licking and when I look into her eyes again, she takes that moment to gently wrap her lips around the head of my penis and suck. Hard. Slayer hard. Oh God! “B-Buffy...Oh God...I’m going to,” I can’t get off the warning as her her eyes stay locked on mine and her head bobs slightly, taking my penis into her mouth a little deeper and sucking hard.



I cum hard, and to my surprise her mouth stays on my penis, her tongue still licking me as I fill her mouth full of my sperm. Even then her eyes stay locked on mine, watching my every reaction, and enjoying every moan that burst out of me. She was barely able to keep my hips from thrusting, and not only the feeling, but also the look of this beautiful girl greedily sucking down my cum, made sure that by the time I finally finished, I have nothing left in me.



I stare down at her as she pulls her lips off me, licks one last time and then gulps. Sexiest thing in the world. I stare down at her, and she stares back at me. I can feel her fighting to keep her embarrassment down, so I pull her up and kisses her, not caring that my taste is in her mouth. She responds to the kiss but I pull away a few moments later.



“Thanks, Buffy. You have no idea how good that felt.” She smiles but she quickly blushes again when I say, “Your turn.”



~Author's Note~

This turned out a lot longer than I intended! Because of that I have decided to release this part now to give me time to write the next part. I'm pretty certain you won't be disappointed though. If I see that people want the next chapter then I'll write it sooner! So please review and rate the story. Writers need those things, it's our fuel. Anyways, this will go on to chapter 3 and possibly beyond if enough people like the story. Thanks for reading!