Killer

Alcohol now flowing freely through their bodies, inhibitions lowered so the sly flirty glances lingered into long undressing stares, as they passed each other the pool cue. Smirking as they playfully taunted each other with gentle soft whispers of the score, teasing each other with blatant innuendos and promises of skin, and of flesh to the victor. The bar owner tried for over an hour to move the four of them from their corner seats in the now empty bar. Promises of free drinks next time they came in had them gathering their things and staggering home.

Willow and Kennedy walked hand in hand slightly faster than the two slayers, who lingered behind, their glances to each other speaking volumes in the absence of conversation.

“What's up F, thought you’d be all ‘I win you lose nah nah’.”

Faith smiled “Just basking in smugness… loser.”

“So what’s your demands oh great one?”

“That depends; I wouldn’t want to push my luck.”

Buffy saw the twinkle in Faith's eyes “Who said you’d be pushing?”

“I don’t take advantage of drunken girls B. No matter what my rep might say.”

Buffy reached out lightly, brushing Faith's hand with the back of hers. “Strange. Must be the slayer constitution, but I'm not drunk. In fact I feel quite sober.”

“’Quite sober’?” Faith laughed “You sound like Giles.”

Buffy stopped walking and stood staring, pouting at Faith.

“C’mon B I didn’t mean anything by it, just a joke. You kinda tend to go on long winded when you’re nervous, or slightly tipsy, is all.”

“Long winded?” Buffy crossed her arms and pouted some more.

“I'm just messing B. Chill.”

Buffy stood staring into the brunettes eyes not saying anything.

“B? Buffy, you’re freaking me out. Say something will ya.”

Buffy's eyes narrowed like a predator spotting its meal in the distance, she closed the gap between them as if stalking her prey.

“B?” Faith took a step back, readying herself for an attack.

Buffy's hand slowly rose, catching Faith gently on the back of her neck, drawing her in closer. Locking her lips to the brunette’s as gently as she could. The fire inside burning like an inferno now, she wanted so much for this to be a more passionate kiss, but she could feel the hesitancy emanating from Faith's stiffened body. Bringing her other hand to Faith's hip, gently kneading the skin below to assure the other slayer. Knowing instantly, as she felt Faith relax and return the kiss, that this was what she wanted.

“Jeez… you two get a room will ya.” Kennedy looked back and shouted to them, as she nudged Willow “Never thought they’d *actually* get it on.” She remarked to Willow.

Willow tugged on Kennedy’s arm “Leave them alone. It’s about darn time, and at least she’s not kissing *me*.”

Faith stepped back, breaking the kiss. “B. We can’t, I can’t.”

“Why?” Buffy looked confused, everything had been going so well so far, she still held Faith gently in her hands.

Faith looked into the green pools in front of her “It’ll ruin everything B.” She took hold of the hands cradling her, releasing their hold as she took a step back. “It's not that I don’t want to. I just…” she took another step back as Buffy tried to move closer “Don’t B.”

“Faith wait. Don’t push me away. Why? Why can’t this happen?”

“I said no.”

“What was that all about back there in the bar? Playing pool, flirting with me; I thought we were taking the next step.”

“No Buffy, we were having fun.” Faith felt sick as she saw how her remark cut the blonde slayer, she watched helpless as the green faded in her eyes to disappointed. Sad and dull.

Buffy sighed “Oh. Sorry. Guess I read it wrong.”

Faith turned away, not being able to look at the hurt in the blonde’s eyes any longer without losing her stomach contents, “Let’s forget it happened, put it down to the drink yeah?”

Buffy didn’t respond, she felt like Faith had punched her, stealing her breath from her.

They walked the rest of the way home in an uncomfortable silence, the tension in the air between them almost electrifying.

~ ~ ~ ~

Faith sat at the barstool in the kitchen, swirling ice around a glass of whisky, staring into it like she would find the answers there.

“I’m ordering food, you want?” Buffy held the phone in her hand, waiting for Faith to reply.

“Sure. Pizza’d be good.” Faith’s voice was dull; void of any of the emotion curling in the pit of her stomach.

Buffy told them the order and hung up “Half hour ok.” She stared at the brunette, trying to get a read on her.

“Sure.”

“Faith, we need to talk.” Faith didn’t respond “What changed?”

“Nothing.” She stared intently into the glass before her.

“Fuck you Faith; I'm trying here.” Buffy turned to leave.

“Don’t go.”

“Give me a reason to stay.”

Faith took a deep breath letting it out slowly as she faced the blonde “It hurts B. Watching you everyday, living with you so close, yet so out of reach. It hurts here.” Faith brought her hand to her heart. “The flirting, the teasing. It all helps take the pain away. Not for good but long enough I feel normal, wanted.” Her gaze returned to the glass.

Buffy couldn’t move, but she knew she had to say something. She thought carefully before opening her mouth “I’m sorry.”

“What for B?”

“I didn’t know I made you feel like that, never giving you the chance…”

“I wouldn’t have told you. You know that.”

“Why now? Why have you waited so long?”

“Weren’t exactly best buds Buffy, remember?” Faith’s tone became snappy as the walls built up around her, protecting her.

“Don’t do that Faith, don’t shut me out. Not now.”

Faith shrugged “Why did you kiss me? You opened up old wounds I thought I’d healed. You just ripped them wide open again.” Faith's eyes reflected her inner fight.

“I never meant to do that Faith. I was trying to show you how I feel, that it was ok for you to have feelings for me. When I looked into your eyes outside the bar, I saw something in there. I saw you and I wanted that. I wanted you.” Buffy took a deep breath; she wasn’t sure if Faith had heard a word she had said. “They say a kiss can say a thousand words, I guess I didn’t say the right ones. Tell me to go. Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll go. Or grow some fucking balls and take what you want.” She waited; it seemed like forever for Faith to respond.

“I can’t.” Faith's body began to tremble, her voice cracked as she whispered “I'm scared B.”

A single tear rolled down Buffy's cheek as she saw Faith’s shoulders shudder and knew she was weeping silently. The walls Faith had built to protect herself lay in rubble around Buffy's feet, the face Faith showed the world no longer there, and in its place a weak and vulnerable young woman. “Faith.” Buffy whispered gently “Faith look at me.”

Slowly Faith stood, her face still slightly turned away from the blonde. “Faith.” Buffy stepped closer, wrapping her arms around the trembling slayer. “I got you F. Now and forever, if you’ll let me.” The shuddering dissipated as Buffy placed light kisses on her head. Faith looked into Buffy’s eyes, opening herself completely to the blonde. Their warm breath shared as they found each others soul, sealing their connection with a kiss.

The doorbell ringing broke them apart. “Fuck. We ever gonna get a break?” Faith smiled in relief, brushing her tears away with her fingers.

“Guess not, and from the sounds you were making I'm guessing you need food.” As if on cue Faith stomach grumbled loudly.

“Yeah I guess so. You ordered me two right?” Faith sat back on the stool as she watched the blonde leave.

Buffy looked back and smirked “Sure did. *And* I got dessert.” She winked as she disappeared to the door.

Jx