A Different Life

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Bleach. If I did, Angelus wouldn’t be bat shit crazy, and would so be with Xander, and Ichigo would be with Kenpachi!! Yes, I know, little guy and big war monger! Got to love the odd pairing. I also do not own any songs mentioned, so you can try to sue, but I have no money. I have lint. That’s it. I’m not making any thing off of this!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7L1exTR4768
Faery-chan: Hi!! That’s right, another chapter to A Different Life. Now, the song that I have mentioned, Sweetest Poison, is German. The link above will take you to a vid set to this song. Its good, trust me. Anyways, great thanks to my beta, Sudonim, otherwise known as Echo, and to kellymutt. Without them, I don’t know how good this would be.

Alright, things to know:

*------------------------------* means normal P.O.V.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~ means Xanders P.O.V.

^-------------------------^ means Ichigos P.O.V.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ means Xanders Journal entries

////////////////////////// means Ichigos journal entries

@@@@@@@ means GILES P.O.V.

“blah” talking

‘blah’ thoughts

-blah- ripper, giles other half…..;)

Hehe, enjoy the story!!

Chapter one: Decisions, Talks and Secret Reveled

*-------------------------------*

The next morning, Xander’s alarm clock sounds sharply, breaking through the ambient music. This time, ‘Sweetest Poison’ adds to his morning mood. An upbeat tone, yet with darkness interlaced through it.

He knows why he is feeling such dual emotions, and he does not like the fact that he has been forced to take certain actions. Looking in the mirror, he can’t help but wonder if it was going to be worth it to piss of the so-called Slayer, his best friend who dropped him faster than a hot potato when Oz walked into her life, as well as Cordelia, his first friend who could care less if he could protect her, Oz, his first guy friend since Jesse, Giles, his pseudo-father-figure, and of course Angel, a.k.a. ‘Dead boy.’

Would it really be worth it? He smirks at his reflection, shaking out his long hair, having taken off his necklace the night before.

“Yeah, it’ll be worth it, if I can stop hiding,” he says to himself as he starts to pull a brush through his hair. As he self-grooms, making sure to get all the knots out, he begins to formulate a mental ‘To-Do’ list.

‘Let’s see... I need to call Uncle Issen tonight and set up a room with him. Also, I need to see if he can fax me the necessary papers to transfer schools, and I need to get the transfer paperwork from my school. It’s a good thing I still have that foreign study offer….’

Distracted with his inner check list, his fingers go about tidying his air automatically, brushing, braiding, and then twisting it into a bun that he pinned to the base of his neck with a few bobby pins.

‘Hmm… I wonder how bad Cordy is going to freak about my looks?’ The thought is totally random, and he brushes it aside with a smirk.

Hearing a knock on his door, he looks away from the mirror, shoving the last bobby pin into place.

“Come in,” he calls out. The door opens slightly, just enough for his mother, Jessica, to poke her head in. She smiles, seeing him finishing his hair and deciding what to wear for the day. “What can I do for you, mom?” he asks.

“Have you decided if you want to move to Karakura Town with your uncle and cousins?” she asks, coming completely into the room. He smiles absently at her, pulling out a cream colored sweater, and a pair of well-worn jeans.

“Yeah, I thought about it, and I’ve decided to go ahead and do it,” he says, walking past his mother and into the bathroom to change his clothes and brush his teeth.

“I really need to get away. I’m tired of hiding from everyone in plain view. I know I’m meant to be here, but… I can’t do it anymore. I may care for them, but there are just too many difficult memories here.”

He closes the bathroom door gently behind him, knowing his mother will understand that he will still talk to her, despite the barrier between them, but he wants his privacy while changing. Pulling off his clothing and beginning to dress for the day, he listens to his mother.

“Well, if you’re sure,” his mother replies, a hint of unhappiness in her words. He knows she wants what’s best for him, but as his mother, she’s going to miss him dearly.

“If you get the necessary papers for the transfer from your school, I’ll call your Uncle Issen and have him get the papers from Karakura High. I’ll call UPS to get shipping rates on your things to Japan, unless you’d rather do that.” The CD player skipped suddenly, causing his mother to pause and smile to herself.

“And yes,” she added, raising her voice as the music inexplicably grew louder, “that includes your stereo system.”

Xander smiles around the toothbrush that he had just stuck into his mouth.

“Thanks, mom,” he manages to burble around the brush, rinsing and spitting quickly in case she needs him to respond again.

A moment later he finishes dressing, tugging his shirt over his head and checking his hair in the mirror, and opens the door. The look on his mother’s face is troubling, and he stops in the doorway, allowing her to stand first. Her expression is complex; she wants to talk to him about something important, something potentially very bad, but she’s holding back. Over the years he’s learned to read her quite easily and precisely, and knows that this cannot lead to a pleasant breakfast, and will most likely mess with the rest of his day on top of that.

He follows her downstairs, trying to hide his apprehension. His stress will only make it harder for her.

While his mother sets about making breakfast for everyone, he starts the coffee, knowing this his father will be downstairs soon. His mother starts talking while standing over the eggs, making sure they don’t burn. He makes and butters the toast while listening to her.

“Now Alexander, I’m sure you know about what goes bump in the night right?” she asks. He nods without looking at her, still busy steering the toast onto the kitchen table and fishing into the back of the fridge for signs of orange juice.

“I also know that you are fighting these creatures, without your powers to back you up, probably because of the Slayer and the Shinigamis that are around trying to control the Hollow population running around.”

At this Xander straightens and turns, nearly knocking himself silly against the side of the fridge, and looks at her with moderate surprise.

‘My mom knows about Shinigami and Hollows? When the hell did this happen?’ is the only thought running through his head.

She smirks at him knowingly, making him squirm; he doesn’t like the idea that his mother has known, despite his careful precautions to keep her out of the loop, and he’s concerned that she might know other things he’s been hiding.

“Yes, I know what they are,” she continues, stifling a chuckle.

“You’re descended from a long line of demon hunters. We are the opposites of the Slayer. While she may hunt the demons and have a relatively short life span, we hunt and make friends with demons. We know what we are doing, and we always go into a fight with a plan. Granted, most of us learn how to fight while actually fighting, but that is mostly because of out powers. Demon hunters are human, but not completely. We are blessed by various gods to do our work. While the Powers That Be blessed the slayer with the strength to fight, the Others decided that there needed to be a group who could do the work the Slayer couldn’t.”

“Originally, a select few families were given the ability to fight the demons as only we are capable of. They, and we in turn, were compelled to also aid the Shinigamis in their battles when necessary. Scattered to the four winds, demon hunters began to spread with the threat.”

“Eventually, there were hundreds of demon hunters all over the world. While the Slayer fought alone, without even her Watcher at her side, demon hunters would seek each other out, connect with one another, and fight wherever the threat was strongest. Some, like your father and I, stayed in one place and hoped that the next Slayer would be sent to them. Until that happened, or someone came and relieved them, they would stand guard and make sure that the demon population wouldn’t get to out of hand.”

She pauses in her tale to move the eggs from the pan to a plate. Taking the plate, she places it on the table. Xander follows her lead and places the coffee pot on a heating plate, along side the toast and juice pitcher. He notices his dad, Tony, is suddenly sitting at the table, and he jumps in surprise.

‘Since when did Dad get so sneaky? And when did Mom become a folklorist? This is…this is weird…’

Without hesitation, Tony picks up where Jessica left off.

“Seeing as how the Slayer is here now, we can take a break. But with all the ‘big bads’ running around right now, we haven’t taken a break. The reason why is because she pulls the demons to her like a magnet does metal.”

“Demon hunters, on the other hand, aren’t prone to those kinds of inconveniences. Demons are attracted to us because of our smell and the feel of our power. We have a very distinct smell, and a very distinct power signature. Due to this, demons don’t want to kill us, they want to mate with us to control that power. It doesn’t happen all that often though,” he says, taking a sip of coffee and talking between bites of food.

‘Wait, what? And Dad is calm about this how?’

“I know you have had some demons after you,” his father continues matter-of-factly. “Well, now you know why. By the way, your aunt was a demon hunter, but decided to settle down with Issen when she met him while in Japan. After having Ichigo, she gave up her power, passing most of it to Ichigo, and splitting the rest between Karien and Yuzu to supplement their innate abilities.”

“She knew what would happen when she had children. Seeing as Issen was a Shinigami, they would be extreme demon- and Hollow-magnets when they hit a certain age.”

“That’s precisely what’s happened to your cousin. Ichigo can draw a Hollow to him like a corpse draws flies, while his sisters are not to that point. I have a feeling that their powers will emerge as healing arts. I hope so. A demon hunter that is proficient in the healing arts is usually safer from demons,” he finishes, again taking a sip of coffee.

“Now, I doubt that you will be meeting many demons while living with your aunt and uncle,” his mother picks up, “but you will more than likely end up attracting Hollows. They usually aren’t picky as to what they eat so I want you to be safe.

“Xander, understand that we couldn’t tell you this until you were a certain age. I hope you can forgive us for not telling you sooner,” she finishes.

He’s a bit overwhelmed, to say the least, but he knows that his parents wouldn’t hide something from him unless it was absolutely necessary. Despite being a bit miffed, he does his best to give his mother a compassionate smile.

“I guess I understand,” he replies. “It’s just really, really weird, and really, really hard to take all at once, but-“

Catching sight of the wall clock, he realizes he’s running almost ten minutes late. With a strangled grunt of exasperation, he scrambles to put an egg between two slices of toast and down some juice straight from the container.

“Sorry, but I’ve got to grab my stuff right now or I’m going to be so late,” he says, rushing out of the room. He’s gone barely a moment, his footsteps pounding up the stairs and wildly through his room, before returning to the kitchen with his bag, tucking his necklace under his shirt.

“I’ve decided today’s the day to tell everyone about…me,” Xander adds, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl on the island chopping block. “Hopefully they won’t take it poorly. I’ll see you when I get home. Love you, mom, dad.”

He kisses his mom on the cheek before flying out the door and down the front walk, taking the porch steps all in one leap, and twisting his ankle just enough to peeve him on impact. The day is bright and cloudless, which does well to brighten his mood, until he sees that he’s got company.

Standing directly in front of his house, looking rather peeved, are Buffy and Willow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I look at them. The girls that I once called friends. The ones who became my precious people in the last few months. I can’t help but feel ashamed that I let myself become so far entrenched in my own act as to deny myself the love that Jesse had offered, had I just noticed sooner. I was such a fool then, but I’ve changed since.

Smiling like the goof they expect me to be, I walk up to them and hug each of them in turn.

“Hey, you two,” I greet them. “What’s up?”

They look at me and smile brightly, totally oblivious to my underlying chagrin.

“Same as always,” Buffy replies flippantly. “Are you going to be at tonight’s Scooby meeting?”

I smile and nod.

“Patrol tonight too, then?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

“No, not tonight, thank goodness,” Willow laughs, winking as she adds, “I have a date with Oz tonight.”

I smile at her in response. As we walk towards school, I allow their conversation flow over me, not really hearing it, responding sparingly in the form of grunts or nods, as my mind provides its own distraction. Thinking about how this charade-that-is-life would end tonight makes me slightly worried as I imagine all the ways this could turn out. And none of them are pretty.

I have a feeling Buffy isn’t going to take the knowledge that I can wipe the floor with her and not break a sweat very well. And Willow, she’ll get pissed off that I didn’t tell her sooner, and then she’ll go into her I-want-Xander-but-I-can’t-have-him-because-I’m-dating-Oz mode. Oz will get mad at me because I upset his girlfriend. That’ll be more than likely the same reaction from Angel, but with his motivation being Buffy. Angelus will more than likely find this whole thing funnier than all get-out. Giles will pale, stutter, then polish his glasses even as he tries to figure out how to tell the Watchers Council that a demon hunter was helping the Slayer and he didn’t know it.

Embarrassing for everyone involved, in short.

‘Because if demon hunters are opposites of slayers, like a Quincy is the opposite of the Shinigamis, then more than likely the council and the hunters don’t get along,’ I think, becoming more and more uncertain about going through with it.

‘Well….more than likely hate each other with a passion,’ I conclude.

I watch the girls walk ahead of me and can’t help but feel that this will be the last day that I spend with them that they don’t glare at me, or try to pull the puppy dog eyes out on me to try to get me to give up my powers and history.

‘Yeah, like that’s ever going to happen,’ I snark mentally to myself. ‘Not ever going to happen, no matter what.’

I continue to watch the girls and know that no matter what happens, they will never truly comprehend what I am, or how powerful I am. I myself to smirk, knowing they won’t notice, seeing as they are too busy laughing about something or another. I think I lost track of the conversation at some point... Oh, well.

Buffy’s voice breaks through my thoughts.

“Hey, Xander, what’s up with the different look?” she asks. I realize I’m about ten feet behind them, and they’re both facing me, with matching looks of concern and suspicion. Such is the life of a Slayer and her Scoobies, I suppose.

“Where did your other shirts go off to?” she asks, finally noticing my new look. Willow nods in agreement. I smile at them and walk closer.

“I just decided to wear something different, that’s all,” I say, totally dodging an honest answer. Fortunately, we’ve reached the campus, and I can see a safe retreat is within reach.

“Hey, I’ll see you in class,” I say with fake levity. Without waiting for a response, I brush past them and break into a light jog. I call over my shoulder as I wave back weakly, “I need to talk to Giles real fast, ‘kay?”

I do need to talk to Giles, but I don’t even bother to see where Buffy and Willow have gone, or how they took being ditched, as I nearly crash through the doors of the library in relief. Walking in, I notice that there is no one else there, which would normally allow me to relax, but something makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up on end.

I try to shake the feeling off as I enter Giles’ office. The door is open and he’s at his desk, but as he didn’t notice my entrance, I shake my head in slight exasperation and knock lightly.

“Hey, Giles, can you do me a favor?” I ask. He looks up at me from the book he was looking at.

“Of course, Xander. What do you need?” he responds. I smile some more and cock my head to the side.

“Well, since you have Angel’s phone number, can you ask him to come to the meeting?” I ask again. It seems I’m either ignoring these people or using them today.

Hurriedly I continue, “I have something to tell everyone, and I don’t want to have to say it twice,”

“Of course, Xander,” Giles says warmly, flashing a smile as he dives into one of the desk drawers, for Angel’s number I presume, his face disappearing from view. His voice is muffled as he asks, still out of sight, “Is it really quite important? I’m just a tad curious.”

“Yeah, it kinda is. I just hope you all don’t get really mad at me for what I am going to tell you guys,” I reply, a bit of sadness touching my voice. He lifts his head and looks at me, a smile playing around the edges of his mouth.

“Don’t be silly, Xander,” Giles is still smiling as he sits up properly in his chair, setting a worn black book on top of the pile of papers already spread over his desk. “No matter what, you know we will always be your friends.”

“Thanks, Giles,” is all I can say. That uneasy feeling is bothering me more and more, making me distracted, and I realize I need another swift exit.

“Hey, um, I’m running late, so... I’ll see you later,” I say, leaving him to do his thing, and head to math class.

Really, math should be outlawed this early in the morning.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

I look up from the desk drawer, watching the young man that I feel is not all that he seems.

-Oh, you think?-

‘Shush you.’

-I don’t know why you must deny my existence. You’re as bad as that souled sod of a vampire.-

‘I am not. I don’t deny that you exist, I just don’t tell everyone that I meet that you are still around. I don’t need the trip to the insanity ward to mess with my life now.’

-Sure, luv*. You think that what he has to say is about that glamour that he wears? I wonder what he looks like under it? I bet he’s got talent.-

‘Idiot. Even if he is…comely, we couldn’t do anything for it. And you know that.’

-Yeah, yeah. I’m going to dream naughty things about the pretty boy.-

“Why me?” I ask out loud to the empty office after this newest ‘conversation’ with Ripper. With Xander gone, the only thing to do is fish through the hundreds of contacts I’ve collected over the years until I find the one smudged, hurried entry I made of Angel’s information. Picking up the phone before Ripper can try to bother me further, I dial and wait through nearly six rings before the other end picks up.

“Yes?” Angel states simply.

“Angel, I know this is short notice, but could you possible be here around 3:15, please?” I ask, my voice calm and measured despite the anxiety in my head. “Xander has something to tell us, and it is quite important, apparently... And do be punctual this time, will you?”

“Of course, Giles,” he replies.

“Good,” is all I say before hanging up without so much as a good-bye. I stare at the phone for a while, wondering what Xander wants to tell us. I wonder if it could be about the glamour like Ripper suggested, allowing myself to laugh momentarily. A part of me hopes it’s to do with the strange aura he seems to give off from time to time, but another part equally doesn’t want to know about it.

I shake my head, clearing my thoughts away as I get up and go to the front desk as soon as I hear the bell ring for the start of class, knowing I have yet to finish pulling the books for the history class coming in a few moments.

*---------------------------------*

Classes drag by, lunch is eaten, effervescent memories are made, similar memories are forgotten, and finally the last bell rings, signaling the end of school.

Two girls with a set of boyfriends head for the library, hoping that the meeting isn’t going to be very long. They look up and notice that their other friend is sitting there, looking decidedly calm, not a single bounce in site, and wonder what’s up with him.

“Hey, Xander,” Buffy greets him, trying to seem nonchalant, as she sits down across from him at the table. “How were classes?”

“Class was class,” Xander replies, shrugging and giving a weak smile.

“Hey, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you guys. I kinda want to wait for Angel to get here, so just hang out for a minute,” he says, continuing that small smile, his expression more complex than usual.

“What is it?” Willow asks. Xander stares at her and cocks an eyebrow before she supplies on her own, “Oh, right, waiting for Angel.”

Oz stares at Xander, his mind turning over the possibilities of Xander’s big ‘reveal.’ Buffy, quite predictably, zones out at once, preoccupied with her issues, especially once Angel is mentioned.

Giles comes out of his office, and at the same time Angel appears, making the gang all present. Xander looks up at Angel and Giles before standing and moving farther away from the others, into a more strategic position, should he have to defend himself from a certain irate blond.

~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~

I take a deep breath and sit down on the couch, looking carefully at everyone in turn as I realize I’ve reached the decisive moment.

“Alright you guys, have you ever heard of demons hunters?” I ask them. I see Angel and Giles tense, while everyone else looks confused. Rather, Buffy and Willow look confused, while Cordy looks bored, her eyes hinting a modicum of interest, and Oz looks apathetic.

“…Alright, I’ll take that as a no,” my words are drawn out in the collective silence, until I point at Giles and Angel in turn and add crisply, “well besides you two.”

I close my eyes and in my mind draw up the history that is passed onto each demon hunter through genetics.

“Let’s get the lesson over first. When the Slayers were created, they were made to be strong, but expendable. They were to be solitary warriors, taking out the darkness, the things that go bump in the night. The Powers That Be decided on women because they have an inner strength that cannot be beaten.”

“Well, at least most women…

“Anyway, the various gods didn’t like the way things were going. The Powers were losing Slayers at an unacceptable rate, and so the decided amongst themselves that a new force was needed as well. They took 3 families, clans, what ever you want to call them, and bestowed upon them the strength of a slayer, and the knowledge of how to control it, but not the knowledge of how to fight. They advised these families to scatter around the world, to learn, to reproduce, and to fight, so as to better control the darkness.

“The first demon hunters discovered that whenever their fellows learned how to fight with a certain style, the others would know how to do so as well. They also discovered that the history of the demon hunters was passed down within their very genes. When a demon hunter’s power awakens, they come into the knowledge of generations of hunters before them.”

I stop and take a deep breath. I pull out a bottle of tea and take a sip, gauging the reaction of everyone. Buffy is looking a little pissed, Willow is looking amazed, Cordy is trying desperately not to look interested, and Oz has an odd gleam in his eyes. Meanwhile Giles and Angel, previously aware of the history I just dictated, already are looking at me with measuring eyes. I continue on.

“The thing is, while there is only one Slayer, there can be one or hundreds of demon hunters in any given place at one time. Demon hunters are the exact opposites of the Slayer. They can have children. They wander the country side, making treaties with demons and vampire masters who have their souls and demons merged, or they settle and keep the peace. But no matter what they do, they have powers a Slayer can only hope for. Millenniums of knowledge, passed from demon hunter to demon hunter, the modern day demon hunter is a formable foe.”

Again I take a sip of tea.

“The modern-day demon hunter has powers. Dark, light, or grey, doesn’t matter, they can tap into it, and bend it to their wills, and not get addicted to the feel of it, the taste of it. Now, mind you, with knowledge, wisdom does not always come. The wisdom on how to use their power comes from the memories of the millions of demon hunters before them, and a spattering of common sense. The power that a demon hunter holds is like a beacon for demons. Demons want to control that power, so they don’t want to kill a hunter, they want to mate with the hunter. Either way, they attract negative auras.”

No one moves. No one speaks. I have a very bad feeling that no one is breathing, either.

“So now that we’re done with the history portion of the lecture,” I try to joke.

Angel beats me to the punch though.

“You’re a demon hunter aren’t you?” he interjects accusingly. I can tell he’s very, very upset, and when Angel’s upset, things get complicated.

“That’s why all those demons come after you, but you hardly ever get hurt, correct?”

“Now, umm…Angel, please, put the fangs away and listen to me,” I say, holding up my hands defensively. He glances at Buffy, who nods, and he reigns himself in a bit, his aura becoming less offensive.

“Yes, I am a demon hunter, that’s true…And one of the most powerful, despite the fact that the Hellmouth kinda pushes my power level down… But I hide my power pretty damn well. I wanted to keep doing that, but certain events have forced my hand into showing myself sooner than I would have liked.”

Now Buffy is looking absolutely pissed off. Willow is shocked, and Oz has a calculating expression, his arms crossed, so he’s probably read to throw a punch. Cordy’s looking smug, she must have guessed this a while ago, as I suspected. Giles is polishing his glasses, giving me a disbelieving look, and Angel….well, Angel looks just as pissed off as Buffy.

Willow’s got a look that says she’s ready for the Q-and-A portion of the meeting, but I hurry to cut her off.

“I’m almost done, so no questions please. I also have another little confession. Giles, I think you might know about this, seeing as I can feel the dark magic lingering on you. You do remember that it can take years for magic that dark to disappear from a person’s aura right?” I ask, looking straight at him. He nods and smirks, a very un-Giles like smirk.

“Yes, I know quite well,” Giles replies casually.

“And I also know what you’re talking about, so there’s no reason to explain it to me, Xander. Angel, I’m surprised that you haven’t noticed it.”

Angel gives him a confused look, as does everyone else, and I feel painfully inclined to chuckle.

Cocking an eyebrow at me and twisting his lips into an odd smile, Giles says in almost a purr, “He wears a glamour. Now, I can’t help but wonder what you look under that glamour of yours.”

I cock my head again and smile at him.

“You’re not Giles, yet you are,” I say to this new stranger in a relaxed tone, but my muscles are tensing and my senses are perked.

“What do they call you?” I ask. He smirks at me.

“You’re right, of course,” the stranger replies, using Giles’s face to express his amusement.

“I’m known as Ripper. I’m the darker side of Giles. Dark magic tends to have the…unfortunate side effect of splitting a personality. Oh, he knows I’m here, and I know he’s there, but we are one in the same. I’m just the darker half….Now, about that glamour?” he asks.

I laugh quietly, removing the concealment necklace. I look up, even as my body becomes more slender, my limbs long with a natural grace that would make a beauty queen look like a clumsy ox, my skin tone lightening. I reach up and start to remove the bobby pins that were holding my hair in place. As I remove the bobby pins and brush my hair out, I start to talk again.

“Now that the concealment spell has been taken off, everyone will have no memory of what I looked like while I had it on,” I inform them, registering a mixed reaction of confusion and annoyance among them, though Ripper’s aura is beginning to irk me. I press on, regardless.

“Everyone will think that I have always looked like this. The only ones who will have any memory of me looking like this are the ones in this room for various reasons. A nifty little aspect of the spell don’t you think?” I ask, pulling my hair back into a ponytail.

“Now, I also have one more thing to say. I’m moving to Japan to live with my cousin Ichigo and Uncle Issen. I will be transferred by the end of this week at the latest and there by Friday. Now, any questions?” I finish. My heart is torn in two, part of it lighter, part of it heavy, but altogether freer from the burden I’d been forced to bear for so long.

Willow is the first one to speak.

“But why?” she asks, tears in her eyes. “Why hide this, why leave?”

“Why?” I repeat, stifling a chortle.

“Because I have my secrets. This,” I wave vaguely at my person, “was one of them. The answer as to why I am leaving? I’m just sick and tired of being someone who I’m not. I’m tired of hiding who I am, and what I am.

“I’m also tired of the memories that bombard me from every angle. I look at this table and I can see you, Jesse and I sitting here trying to study. I look at the tree outside and I see me and Jesse sitting there, talking. I look anywhere and I can see Jesse. I hesitated to tell him how I felt about him and now I don’t have that chance anymore….That’s why.”

Willow looks shocked at this.

“What, did you think I was completely straight?” this time I do allow myself to laugh.

“Willow, I know you wanted me to ask you out, but I can’t. I’m not gay, but I’m not totally straight, either. I’m kind of bi, with a preference for guys. And I would never ask my sister out, never. So be happy with what you have,” I tell her, the bitterness creeping into my voice.

“Anyone else?” I say, clearing my throat and trying to avoid Willow’s cheerless eyes.

Buffy is the one to ask something now.

“So all this time you could have fought, and I could’ve had a normal life, but you didn’t tell us?” she spits. There’s acid in her tone, and I scoot backward a bit in my seat, like she can actually hurt me with words alone. She’s about to go off on me…

“Why not?! I want a normal life, and if you can take care of the demons and vampires, you should do it!” Her words ring through the library, echoing in its emptiness, but the books absorb her malice easily.

I look at her, my eyes hard.

“Because, Slayer,” I draw out the word, using it as an insult, “it is not my job. It is not my destiny. I was not chosen to protect mankind. I was chosen to keep the balance. I do not need to protect the Hellmouth. That is not my destiny. It is yours. Get used to it. You were chosen to be the Slayer. YOU were chosen to protect humanity. I am here to lend help and to protect every other place you can not be.”

Buffy looks slightly taken a back at the look in my eyes. She sits down and doesn’t look at me, but I can feel rage rolling off of her.

“Are we done here?” I ask, feeling exhausted suddenly.

Giles nods at me, and I get up and start towards the door. I pause at the last second, holding the door open. Part of me wants to go back, to sit and play Scoobie again, but I know I can’t, and the feeling makes that heavy part of my heart sink even further. There is one thing left, one small thing, and I need to make sure it will be done, so I gather what seems the last of my breath for one last word.

“Oh and Giles,” I call weakly, the others all looking at me in unison, “I left a note for you on your desk at lunch. It…has my new contact information. I’d like to stay in touch, okay?”

He nods, and with that said, I walk out of the library, and out of most of their lives forever. The sidewalk today is leading me toward a different life. The life that I was meant to live.

I smile my first true smile of happiness in a long time.

Hey all. Heres the second chapter! Remember, at a later time I may take it down to repost it. Lets see how things go, ne? Alright, enjoy life, because life enjoys you!