Loose ends.

A/N:
I have 'borrowed' some snippets of dialogue from a couple of later episodes ('Entropy' and 'Touched') because as in my 'verse Spike is able to comunicate far more openly with Buffy I felt he would express those particular sentiments earlier.

After this chapter my updates may come a bit further apart. Sorry about that, but if you hadn't noticed, my chapters tend to be a bit longer than the norm, so they take a bit longer to write! You can't have everything....

I'd love some reviews please......

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Chapter 2

After Anya had gone all eyes turned to Xander, who was sitting in a daze staring after her. “Xander,” Tara asked quietly, “Aren’t you going to go after her?”

All the answer she got was a faint “Hmmm?” as the young man continued to frown in bewilderment, staring at the point where Anya had disappeared from view.

Buffy got up from Spike’s lap, crossed over to sit beside Xander in the seat Anya had vacated, and laid a hand on one of his to get his attention. “Xander, I think you need to go after Anya and have The Talk.”

“The talk?” he asked, tearing his eyes from the doorway to look at her.

“Yes,” Buffy continued, “You know, The Big Talk. The kind of talk when you are completely open and honest with each other, the kind of talk I never got to have with Riley.”

Spike had just about been dealing with seeing Buffy’s hand resting on Xander’s, but at the mention of Riley he couldn’t suppress a soft jealous growl as Xander responded. “The Talk,” he muttered absently. “The Big Talk.” He sighed and seemed to pull himself together slightly, nodding. “Open and honest… I can do that…”

Buffy looked over at Spike with a small frown. “Spike, Xander is my friend. I touch my friends. Sometimes I hug them, and I’ve even been known to kiss them. You’re going to have to learn to deal with that.” At Xander’s smug little laugh Buffy turned back to him. “As for you Xander, Spike is my… well... I’m not sure what he is. Let’s call him my boyfriend, although it’s *way* more than that. You are going to have to learn to deal with that.” She sighed sadly. “I’m trying to come to terms with Spike’s past. *You* have to figure out if you can accept Anya’s.” She sat back and sighed pensively.

Xander sat deep in thought for a few moments longer until Dawn lost patience with him. “Well… go on then Xander! What are you waiting for?” She cried. “The longer it takes for you to catch up with her, the more upset she’ll be!”

“Upset? Oh yes… Um… Oh right… See you later.” Xander suddenly stood up and marched towards the door with a very determined expression on his face.

For a few moments there was total silence around the table, then Tara and Willow exchanged a glance and Willow said, “I think it’s time we got Dawn home Buffy, I still have a paper to finish, and Dawn has school tomorrow.”

Tara looked between Spike and Buffy and added, “And I think you two need to have a little talk too… we’ll see you when you get back from patrol, if you’re not too late.”

Dawn protested for a moment, but a meaningful look from Willow encouraged her to finish her drink and put her coat on, and soon Spike and Buffy were left regarding each other warily across the table. “Wanna dance love?” Spike asked nervously.

Without answering Buffy stood and held out her hand towards him, allowing him to lead her out onto the floor to join the crowd dancing to a slow romantic song. Buffy stepped easily into Spike’s arms and rested her head against his shoulder with a sad little sigh as her arms went around his waist.

Spike whispered, “You want to talk about it Buffy?”

“Talk about what?” She replied softly.

“I felt it you know, I could sense your horror when Anya did her little mental arithmetic trick.” He felt Buffy tense up and pull away from him slightly. “I really never thought of it like that before, you know, it never occurred to me to think how many people I’d killed because all I was doing was hunting my natural prey to survive. Besides… you know… evil.” He paused for a second to try to think of a way to make her understand. “Have you ever counted up how many cows, or pigs or chickens have died to keep you fed? Of course you haven’t. Well that’s how it was for me.”

“Was?” Buffy asked, raising her head to look him in the eye, “You said that’s how it *was*… isn’t it like that for you any more?”

Spike’s eyebrows rose as he realised what his unconscious choice of words meant. He gave a little self-mocking laugh, “Seems not, love. You’ve done your job of taming the Big Bad so well I didn’t even notice it. But come to think of it… when I sobered up in LA and realised I hadn’t got any supplies with me and had no cash to buy blood, I thought about trying to hunt. I was still moaning about the sodding chip preventing it, saying to myself that if it wasn’t for that I would have gone out and killed someone… but then it came to me that even if the chip wasn’t there I wouldn’t have done it, because I knew you wouldn’t like it.” His tone changed to one of wonderment, “It just felt wrong…”

Buffy frowned slightly as she concentrated, “You really mean that don’t you? I can feel how surprised you are…” She quietly asked, “What would you do if the chip stopped working altogether?”

Spike realised that this question, more than any other, needed an honest answer if he was ever going to earn Buffy’s trust. He was silent for several minutes as he tried to imagine what he *would* do.

“Spike?” Buffy eventually prompted, “Aren’t you going to answer me?”

“I’m thinking about it, Slayer. For so long I figured I’d go straight back to my killing ways, but now… I don’t think I could. I don’t think I could promise I’d *never* kill again though, the instinct is still there, and without the chip to stop me when I got carried away I don’t know if I could control it every time. All I can promise is that I would try. What I *will* do is give you my word that the first thing I’ll do if I ever find out it isn’t working, is come and tell you.”

“That’s actually a good answer Spike. You already know that I would do what I'd have to do if I had to, and now I know you well enough to know that you would rather be dust than do anything that would make me have to do it.” She paused to go over her rather complicated sentence again. “I think… did that come out right?” She shrugged, then smiled in wonder. “You truly are changing aren’t you? You’re not just trying to impress me. You’re honestly trying to be a better man!”

“Of course I’m trying to impress you Buffy, I’d do anything to please you… but it’s not just that. I’m determined to become the sort of man you deserve. So you don’t have to feel ashamed any more that you’re with me.”

Buffy snuggled close, beaming up at him. “Getting less ashamed every day, Big Bad… and don’t tell anyone, but the trying to impress me thing? Working.”

Spike smiled delightedly and lowered his lips to hers, intending to give her a gentle kiss, however when her hands went up around his neck in response one brushed across her claim mark, which sent shivers of pleasure down his spine and straight to his groin. This made him crush her to him and deepen the kiss until she had to pull her mouth from his with a gasp, “Oxygen becoming an issue here…” at which he transferred his attention to his claim mark which he began to kiss and nibble. This caused Buffy to clutch at him desperately as she whimpered in pleasure, before she took the opportunity of kissing and nuzzling her claim mark on his neck which was conveniently placed right in front of her face.

Inevitably the situation progressed rapidly, and they were only jerked out of their passionate haze when Spike heard someone close by call out. “Jeez, get a room can’t you?” He realised that not only had he begun to slide the straps of Buffy’s dress off her shoulders as he caressed her, but that she’d untucked his shirt and was running her hands up and down his back beneath it. He also became aware that the scent of Buffy’s arousal was too intense for him to ignore and his trousers were extremely uncomfortable in the front, a situation that was being intensified by the way Buffy was grinding herself into him.

“Perhaps we’d better take this somewhere quieter before we get arrested?” Spike moaned, “Gotta have you now….”

“Hmmm…” Buffy agreed, her eyes remaining closed as she kissed and nibbled his chest, her hands still caressing his back, “where?”

“This way love…” Spike turned her in his arms and pushed her gently towards the table where they had been sitting, steering her with his hands on her hips as he pressed himself against her backside. “Grab your shawl and my coat.” As Buffy forced her eyes to open so she could see what she was doing Spike picked up their bag. Once they’d gathered up all their property he nudged her towards the back of the club. “Over here…” He steered her towards the backstage area, and into a storeroom half full of boxes and crates.

Closing the door securely behind them he dropped the bag, turned Buffy towards him as she dropped his coat and her shawl, and took possession of her upturned mouth. His left hand immediately undid the zip at her waist and his right hand slipped the straps off her shoulders, allowing her dress to sink to the floor in a scarlet puddle around her feet.

Buffy meanwhile was busy undoing his trousers, and then she pushed the skin-tight garment out of the way down his thighs so she could take his erection in her hands. They moved together without separating their mouths as he lifted her and she guided him past the tiny lace obstruction straight in to her waiting heat, as her legs automatically encircled his hips and her arms went around his neck. Only then did the kissing pause as they sighed in mutual pleasure. Their mouths parted and they rested their foreheads together to look deep into each other’s eyes.

“Oh… that’s better.” Buffy breathed.

“Oh yeah…” Spike sighed. After a few seconds he looked around the dimly lit space and took in their surroundings, then he turned and sat down on his coat loosing her legs from around him, and lay back so that Buffy was sitting astride him. “Your turn to drive love,” he smirked up at her as he reached up to cup her breasts.

“Oh goody…” She whispered with a grin, and began rocking slowly as she pushed his shirt up his chest, encouraging him to sit up slightly so she could slip it off. She then leaned forward to kiss him and brush her nipples across his sensitised skin as her hands twined in his hair and his hands went to stroke down her back and grasp her hips. “Oh no you don’t…” She warned, as Spike began to raise his hips and press her down onto him in time to her rocking, “You said it was my turn to drive, so stop being a back seat driver.” She giggled, “…or rather an underneath seat driver…” She grasped him by the wrists and stretched his arms above his head, then ordered, “Stay!”

Buffy released her grip on Spike’s wrists, and as she continued a slow leisurely rocking, she began to kiss and nibble her way from his throat across his collarbone and down to his left nipple. After licking and sucking it for a few moments she gave it a sharp nip, causing Spike to twitch and a gasp of pleasure to escape his lips. She then transferred her attention to his throat again, avoiding her claim mark, before repeating the process on the other side down to his right nipple, which received similar attention.

She then leaned forward to claim his lips with hers, sucking his lower lip into her mouth and nibbling it as she slipped her legs back to lie straight over his. She grasped him about the shoulders to slide herself up and down the length of his body, her internal grip on him tightening in the process. Her change of attitude was enough to break Spike’s resolution to keep his arms where she’d placed them. “Sorry love…” he groaned. “Have to hold you…” and his arms wrapped around her back as he greedily returned her kisses while assisting her sliding movements.

When she had to release his mouth to pant for breath Spike asked, “You want this to be a fast and furious or a slow and easy Buffy? ‘Cos the way you’re going…” By way of reply Buffy bit firmly down on her claim mark as she dug her fingernails into his shoulders. “Oh God…” Spike moaned as his hips bucked in a reflex reaction. His hands went to grip her hips as he thrust her down onto him harder and harder, and his mouth went to his claim mark on her neck and he grazed over its surface with his human teeth before latching on with his lips and sucking hard.

They began a muffled grunting in unison, louder and louder with each of Buffy’s slides downwards until she had to release his neck to open her mouth to gasp, “Oh… yes… Spike… now…” before she descended into a series of wordless cries as her movements became jerky and uncoordinated. This allowed Spike to control the final few thrusts as he reacted to the pulses of her internal muscles by following her with his own orgasm as he gasped, growled and finally howled in ecstasy.

Buffy lay still and totally limp and relaxed upon him as she recovered her breath, with Spike’s arms wrapped firmly around her and his mouth whispering in her ear, “Have you any idea what you do to me, Buffy? I would be anything you wanted me to be for the rest of my unlife just for the hope of this. To hold you and know that you’ve chosen to be with me, for you to allow me to be this close, to let me feel wanted and needed… it’s more than I could ever deserve.” He concentrated and tried to pour all the love and respect, all the wonder and joy he was feeling through the bond to his mate.

The reaction he received shocked him, as Buffy dissolved into gasping sobs and clutched at him frantically. “Buffy love, what’s the matter? What have I done wrong? You know I can’t stand it when you cry! Oh Buffy tell me what’s wrong… what can I do to make it better?” He pleaded as he caressed her face, brushing the hair that had escaped from the fallen topknot out of her eyes as he tried to kiss her tears away.

“The bond…” She was at last able to say. “We can’t lie through the bond can we?”

“I don’t think so love, we don’t use words, it’s pure emotions. If I feel it you feel it, and vice versa... I think that’s the way it works.” He concentrated on receiving instead of sending, “What I’m feeling from you is confusion... and need… and some regret?”

“So… what I just felt... that really is the way you feel about me isn’t it?” She gulped and propped herself up with her elbows on his chest to look down into his eyes as he nodded. “How can you…? I mean… I’m just me… all that… I’m not worth it!”

“Obviously I disagree love, you deserve so much more than I can offer. Listen… when I say I’m in love with you, it’s not just because I want you. It really has nothing to do with me at all. I love what you are, what you do, and the way you overflow with so much love it fills everyone around you. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength, all the sacrifices you’ve made, and how you never stop trying. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You’re a hell of a woman.”

“I don’t feel like a hell of a woman...” She sobbed anew. “Most of the time I feel like a lost and confused little girl.” She gulped and wiped the tears from her eyes with her fingers as she tried to pull herself together. “How could I have blocked out your feelings for so long? How did I convince myself you couldn’t feel love? *You* are the one who is full of love, not me! I wasted so much time we could have had together… I treated you so badly…”

“Hush kitten,” Spike breathed as he cradled her tear-streaked face, “It never mattered what I felt for you, what matters is what *you* needed… you weren’t ready. Truth to tell, if we’d got together when I first told you how I felt I’d only have bollixed everything up,” He gave a short ironic laugh, “I probably still will.”

“Just as long as you don’t leave me... promise you won’t leave me?” She begged pitifully, “As long as you stay I’m sure there’s nothing we won’t be able to work out.”

“I promise, Buffy. I’ll stay with you ‘til I’m dust… and if we go by that prophecy quite possibly beyond,” He declared solemnly. “I’m all yours now.” He lifted his head and kissed the scar on her neck to emphasise the point as he hugged her tightly.

“You really are, aren’t you?” She asked in wonder, “I’m only just beginning to understand what this bond means… You’re mine and I’m yours... neither of us will ever be alone again!” She brushed her fingers over the scar she’d made on Spike’s neck. “We will both always know there is one person who knows exactly how we feel… No more hiding away in the land of Denial… It’s awesome.” She shivered suddenly, “And very, very scary!”

Spike gently held her hips and very slowly began to move inside her again, “What’s scary is the effect you have on me woman… I only need to be in the same room as you… or catch a whiff of your scent…” He chuckled softly, “Feel this…” He tried to transmit his desire through the bond.

“Oooooooh” She giggled wickedly, “You feel this then…” and tried to send her own feelings back. “This could be very interesting…” She sniffed and shivered again.

“You’re cold!” Spike realised as he felt goose bumps break out all down her back, “We’d better get you dressed.”

“Oh really?” Buffy pouted in disappointment, but when she shivered again a few seconds later she reluctantly raised herself off him to fumble in the bag for her patrolling clothes. Spike sat and watched her for a few moments as he removed his boots and the tight trousers, which had stuck around his calves. As she had her back turned to him he didn’t see her mischievous smirk when she deliberately stood and stretched, then bent at the waist to reach down for her jeans.

Spike was presented with a perfect view of her bottom divided by the tiny scarlet lacy thong, and her carefully posed slightly parted legs elongated by the silly scarlet high-heeled shoes she still wore. He growled, “You did that on purpose you little minx! I thought *I* was supposed to be the evil one here!” He stood up and pressed himself against her, enfolding her in his arms to draw her back against him and cup her breasts, but was distracted by a sound from the body of the club. “You’ll have to keep that warm for me for when we get home love, they’re closing up the club, and if we don’t get out now we’ll have to break out. It’s time to be the Slayer for a while.” Ignoring her sulky protests he turned her towards him and kissed her then crouched and unbuckled her red shoes so she could slip out of them.

They quickly got dressed, Spike in his usual black jeans, black T shirt and Doc Martens, and Buffy in the blue jeans, camisole and warm sweater Spike had packed for her, with her black boots and a leather jacket. Looking around as he gathered up their dancing clothes to put in the bag in their place Spike noticed that all the crates and boxes surrounding them were labelled with big pink or red hearts, signifying that they were full of stock ready for St Valentines Day the following week. He smiled as he realised that this year he would be able to do something romantic for Buffy to mark the day without fear of being rejected and ridiculed, and tucked the thought into the back of his mind to ponder the possibilities.

As they left the storeroom the lights in the main part of the Bronze were being switched off, and a member of the cleaning staff had to unlock the door to let them out into the night. Buffy slipped her arm around Spike’s waist under his coat and he draped his arm round her shoulders. Buffy turned them towards the first cemetery on her route and as they walked she smiled up at him. “As first dates go I don’t think this is going too badly do you? We got all dressed up, you went all primeval on me, and we danced a bit. We killed a few vampires and were spied on by a couple more. We had an uncomfortable talk with our friends and danced again. We sneaked off for some hot sex, we had an emotional heart to heart… and now we’re off to kill things again.”

“Don’t forget the hot sex that I’m expecting to continue when we get home again.” Spike added with a snigger as he squeezed her into his side. “All in all an almost perfect date,” he considered, “although I could have done without Harris’s hostility.”

“I wonder how he and Anya are doing?” Buffy wondered, “With the wedding on Saturday they don’t have a lot of time to work out their problems if it’s all going to go smoothly.”

“I know how Harris feels about demons, but just pretending all those years of her past never happened just isn’t going to work.” Spike shrugged, “Living in Denial is all very well, but reality is bound to come up and bite him on the bum sooner or later.” He remarked. “All he has to do is realise what a wonderful woman he’s got, and stop patronising her and trying to change her into something she isn’t. The way he keeps putting her down is just unforgivable.”

“What do you mean?” Buffy asked, sounding bewildered.

“You mean you haven’t noticed? Every time Demon Girl opens her mouth he jumps down her throat.” Spike imitated Xander’s impatient patronising tone, very badly. “‘We don’t say that in *public* Ahn… Nobody here wants to hear about *that* Ahn… There are some things we just don’t discuss where strangers can hear us Ahn… I’ve told you before that people just don’t say that sort of thing Ahn…’” He reverted to his own voice. “The only things that Harris seems to be interested in are sex, and food. I’m surprised Anyanka has enough self-confidence left to open her mouth at all around him. He never seems in the slightest bit interested in anything she might have to say, he dismisses everything she does say as irrelevant, and any opinion she might express that doesn’t exactly match his own, he just plain ignores.”

“Well… she can be a bit embarrassing sometimes.” Buffy admitted.

“The woman is forthright, she speaks her mind. I admire that in a woman, you always know exactly where you stand. If Harris loves her as much as he claims I can’t understand why he’s continually trying to change her into something else.” Spike gently squeezed Buffy’s shoulders. “It’s a bit like Soldier Boy was with you. He claimed to love the whole ‘Strong woman with a mission’ thing, but all the time he was trying to prove he was stronger than you and trying to make you over into a ‘normal girl’ who would need to lean on him. He could never accept that there was a part of you that had to stay strong and independent, that being the Slayer isn’t a job that you go home from at the end of the day. It’s who you are, all the way through, all day every day. I bet you never showed him how strong you really are… did you? He had you pretending to be less than you are just to prevent him feeling insecure and inadequate, and that’s… Just. Not. Right.”

“I’ve spent so long wanting to be a normal girl with a normal life,” Buffy mused, “It’s just never going to happen is it?” She sighed sadly.

“Normal… right.” Spike chuckled, “The girl with superpowers who has prophetic visions sent from the Powers that Piss Us Off. The girl who blew up her school to destroy a giant demon snake. The girl who has come back from the dead twice, has had a mystical key given to her as a sister and defeated a God to save the World. The girl who has as some of her best friends a powerful pure Wicca, a Witch so strong she can’t control her own power, and an eleven hundred year old ex-vengeance demon. The girl who has converted two vampires to fighting on the side of light. The girl who is mated to an ‘evil soulless thing’ who is one day going to be her Champion.” He shook his head, “Buffy love, you wouldn’t recognise normal if it jumped up and bit you on the bum, and if by some miracle you did, you’d take one look and turn your nose up at it. You’d be bored to death within a week, as I seem to remember Niblet saying she would be.”

Buffy went very quiet as they walked the Slayer’s rounds, and she was lost so deep in thought that when a vampire emerged from a fresh grave at her feet she didn’t even notice it until Spike shoved her out of the way to one side as he staked it. “What is it with today’s vampires?” He groused, “They’ll turn people right left and centre, but they can’t be bothered to keep watch and do the duty of a Sire and receive them properly and show them the ropes. No wonder you always manage to Slay so many of the newly risen, they haven’t got a clue what’s happened to them or what they should be doing. I expect half of them don’t even know enough to get in out of the open before the sun comes up!”

Buffy was pulled from her introspection by his rant. She showed her amusement with an ironic, “Of course in *your* day every Sire stayed at the graveside to welcome the newcomer to the family, took them in and taught them all they needed to know.” She smiled indulgently, “I suppose *you* stayed close by and took all the people you turned under your tender wing didn’t you?”

“That was Angelus’s thing, not mine.” Spike muttered sulkily, “He was the one always making new toys all over the place, I can count the number of people I turned on one hand, and yes, I stayed to welcome all but one of them. It rarely went well. That reminds me,” He paused in his cautious examination of a tomb the door to which had been left wide open to ask, “What happened to that friend of yours, the one who wanted me to turn him in exchange for handing you to me on a platter? The one who had a nasty something going on in his brain?”

“Staked him.” Buffy replied shortly, and Spike nodded in satisfaction, he had expected nothing less.

Spike persisted with his grumbling as they continued the patrol, but eventually when they had finished the rounds and dusted a further sixteen confused newly risen vampires between them, Buffy had to admit that he had a point. There were far more than usual, and not one Sire had been in evidence. Walking back to the house Buffy ducked under Spike’s arm and eased her hand around his back inside his coat to hook her thumb into a belt loop on the far side of his waist to hold him snugly against her as she asked, “What is it Spike? Do you think it’s just one vamp trying to recruit lots of minions and forgetting where he left them? Or is there some sort of festival of the undead coming up that requires every vamp in town to Sire a certain number of people? This is getting beyond a joke!”

“Dunno love, but I think I’ll take a wander around the demon bars and clubs later and see what I can pick up. Someone has to know what’s going on. If I can’t come up with anything perhaps the Watcher might know something?”

“I’ll ask him tomorrow, I’ve got a few errands to see to, the most pleasant of which will be to return my uniform to Lorraine, the Manager at the Doublemeat. I’ve promised to pop into the Magic Box on the way round to let him know how the Bond thing is going. What shall I say? I’ll have to tell him about the spooky shared emotions thing…”

“You can tell him that neither of us is going to be able to lie worth a damn to the other, and all but the most innocent of secrets will be damn near impossible to keep too. It might reassure him a bit that you’ll be able to keep tabs on my evil ways.”

“No more cheating at kitten poker?” She teased.

“The cheating is all part of the game love.” Spike protested, “it’s expected… as long as you don’t get caught!” They were just turning into Revello Drive when Spike sensed another vampire close by, and paused to concentrate. It was that familiar tingle again, but it faded away again too quickly for him to be able to discern the direction it came from, let alone recognise its source.

“What’s the what, Fangboy?” Buffy demanded, “I know you felt something and it’s got you puzzled… Hey! This Bond thing is neat!”

“There’s this tingle I’ve been getting on and off all night, Slayer...” Buffy raised an eyebrow inquiringly. “You know vampires can sense each other don’t you? Well when we get to know someone we can usually separate the individual ‘tingle’ they give us from the crowd. Tonight I’ve kept feeling this one vampire that feels kinda familiar, but I can’t place it and it’s driving me crazy. Every time I’ve felt it it’s been when you’re right next to me, and between your Slayer vibe and this new ‘Mate’ vibe you give off it keeps getting swamped.”

“I give off a ‘Mate’ vibe? What does that feel like then?” She asked as she turned to encircle his waist with her arms, pulling his shirt out of his jeans at the back to slip her hands up onto his skin.

Spike thought for a moment as he dropped the patrol bag and wrapped his arms around her. “It’s hard to put into words, the feeling… there’s the familiar irresistible tingle that says ‘Slayer’, but on top of that there’s the feeling that you’re mine and I’m yours, that we fit together to make one complete whole. The feeling of home and family and belonging and contentment...” He shook his head in frustration. “You know, I think we need to invent a new word, ‘cos none of them seem to be just right…” He kissed the top of her head, “Has your sense of me changed? Am I still... what did you say it was? A pillar of golden fire that makes your blood hum?”

Buffy closed her eyes and concentrated. “There’s the Vamp tingle as always, then there’s the pillar of fire which is uniquely you… and why do other vamps just give me a plain Spidey-sense tingle when you feel so different? Ever since you first appeared I’ve been able to tell it was you rather than just any old vampire. I couldn’t even tell Angel was a vampire for ages and even after I got to know him he was only this cool blue-green tingle… there must be something special about you…” She went quiet for a couple of minutes.

“The Mate vibe?” Spike prompted gently.

“Hmmm…?” She seemed to come back from a long way away. “Oh sorry, yes, there is something different. Hold on a minute.” She released him and stepped back a few paces, closing her eyes again. “Your fire? It seems to stretch out to me…” She took a few more steps away and repeated the process. “Yes, it’s as if your fire is reaching out to pull me in.” Keeping her eyes closed she moved very slowly back towards him. She whispered, “I’m coming home, your fire is warming me, it’s welcoming me in and telling me I belong, that I’m safe and loved and accepted…” Tears began trickling down her cheeks as she returned to her previous position wrapped around his waist. “That is just… just… you’re right, we need a new word.”

“I think there already is a word that describes it Buffy,” Spike breathed as he brushed the moisture from her face with the backs of his fingers, “You’re my Mate, I’m yours, it’s as simple as that. It’s a Mate thing.” He put a finger under her chin, gently lifted her face to his and kissed her tenderly.

Tenderness very quickly turned to passion, and a couple of minutes later Buffy tore her mouth from his, gasping. She staggered slightly as she turned back towards their house, leaving one arm clutching his waist as she breathlessly issued her instructions, “Investigate familiar tingle later… Home! Your Mate needs you now…!”

Spike panted in frustration as he reached down for the bag at his feet. “Always need you…” They began trotting along the road, pausing every few paces to exchange clumsy kisses before resuming their slightly unsteady progress.

When they reached the house they stumbled up the steps onto the porch and stopped for yet another kiss, and Buffy began to push Spike’s coat off his shoulders, “Door…” he murmured into her mouth.

“Mmmm…” She responded, reaching behind her back to open the front door. They stumbled through, still firmly joined at the mouth, and Spike kicked the door closed behind them and turned to lean Buffy against it. He dropped the bag on the floor and shrugged out of his duster, ripping her coat open and shoving it roughly off her shoulders before lifting her up to wrap her legs around his waist. “Too…. Many… clothes…” Buffy gasped.

“Lock door…” Spike muttered, his hands busily shoving her sweater and camisole up so he could suck one nipple into his mouth and tease it with his teeth.

Buffy whimpered frantically as she half-turned and latched the door, “Locked…” She confirmed, and tore her sweater and camisole off, flinging them away. She gasped, “Upstairs…” as she twined her fingers through Spike’s hair, pressing his mouth more firmly against her breast.

Spike turned and stumbled blindly towards the stairs. He got up three steps before tripping, so that Buffy sat on the fifth stair as he knelt in front of her. He took the opportunity to pull her boots off and unfasten her jeans, lifting her slightly to slide them down her legs and off, as his mouth homed in on the damp scarlet lace between her legs. Buffy groaned and gripped his head, wrapping her legs around his neck, grinding herself into his face.

Spike’s arms went around her back and he lifted her again so that she was sitting on his shoulders as he staggered up the rest of the staircase. His teeth and tongue worried at the lace until it gave under the strain, allowing his tongue to thrust right into its target causing Buffy to shudder and moan. “Oh yes…” As they reached the top landing she desperately cried, “Door… head…” as she realised that in her current position her head was too high to clear the lintel into their room.

Reluctantly Spike stopped and allowed Buffy to slip her legs from his shoulders and slide down his body to rest her feet on the floor… and then she kept on going down until she crouched at his feet. She undid his belt and the buttons of his jeans, sliding them down to free his erection that sprang forward straight into her waiting mouth. She wrapped her lips around him and teased the soft skin with her tongue and teeth. Meanwhile her hands were busy undoing the laces of his boots and encouraging the whimpering vampire clutching at her head to lift each foot in turn so she could slip them off and toss them aside. A moment later his jeans followed his boots and her hands went to join her mouth in its attentions to his throbbing hardness.

When his knees threatened to give way Spike opened his eyes to find a convenient wall to lean against… and realised they were still on the landing. “Buffy,” he moaned. “Bedroom… now…” he pulled insistently on her head.

Buffy looked up at him, her expression dazed. “Bedroom?” She looked around as she focussed, and giggled. “Oops…” She rose to her feet, brushing her body against his all the way up. She dragged him into their room, pushing the door closed behind them before turning and crushing their bodies together again as she reached up to kiss him.

With their mouths locked Spike lifted her again and carried her to the bed, and turned so that when he toppled onto his back she landed on top of him, her lips finally losing their purchase on his. “Well what do you know...” he chuckled wickedly, tearing away the scrap of scarlet lace dangling from her waist, “we finally made it to the bed!”

“Bed good!” Buffy declared, pulling herself up his body to sit astride his hips. “Bed very good.” She reached under herself to position him at her entrance, “Want to come in?” she teased, brushing the tip of his erection against her moist flesh.

“Always….” Her mate groaned, reaching up to caress her face, “Take me right in baby… guide me home…”

Smiling down at him Buffy very slowly lowered herself onto him, pausing every couple of seconds to squeeze him with her powerful internal muscles. By the time he was buried to the hilt in her welcoming heat he was moaning helplessly, “Oh God… Oh Buffy… Love you so much… All yours baby… Yours for ever…”

Waiting for a few seconds before moving to savour the sensation of being completely connected to her mate, Buffy whispered, “A perfect fit… you were made exactly right for me.” She sighed contentedly, then raised herself until Spike was on the point of slipping out of her before sitting firmly back down and leaning forward to rest on his chest. She nestled her face into the hollow of his neck and tangled her fingers in his curls, long since released from their gelled restraint. Without moving she used her inner muscles to massage him as she nibbled at his earlobe and then teased his jawline and the sensitive skin beneath his ear with her teeth. Spike’s hands stroked her back and cupped her bottom, pressing her down firmly onto him as the minutes crawled by while he grunted and gasped each time the magic muscles tightened around him.

Feeling his control beginning to slip at last Spike rolled them over and bent to take possession of an erect nipple with his teeth as he began to move very slowly inside her. “Fast or slow, love?” he mumbled around the warm flesh.

“Slow is good…” Buffy gasped, “I like slow…” She giggled softly, as she held on tight to Spike’s shoulders, “’Course I like fast too… but for tonight… slow is Buffy’s best.”

Setting a long slow rhythm Spike concentrated on pulling almost completely out of his mate each time before pressing himself home firmly but gently, angling every thrust to rub against the sensitive bundle of nerve endings at the apex of her swollen folds. “Talk to me Buffy…” he suggested, “Tell me what you’re feeling…”

“Oh... Um… Words… Not good with words…” She protested.

“The bond…” Spike reminded her, “Show me instead…” and he concentrated on the feelings she was bringing out in him. His all-consuming love for her, the tenderness she brought out in him, his sheer wonder at being allowed to please her and above all his demon’s possessive raw animal lust for his mate.

Buffy moaned with delight, “Ooooooh… that’s so wonderful… feel me too…” Spike started to sense her strong physical desire for him, her absolute trust in his determination to protect her, her insecurities that generated a very real fear of losing him, and lingering doubts that she deserved his love. Underlying it all… a definite fondness, a real deep affection. Perhaps even the beginnings of love? With tears of desperate hope moistening his eyes Spike renewed his efforts, and before long there were increasingly loud wordless cries filling the air and superstrong fingers clutching at his shoulders as she climbed towards ecstasy.

“Come for me baby…” He whispered hoarsely into her ear, sliding his left hand between their straining bodies to tweak her in just the right place, “Come for me… now!” and he pinched down firmly.

“Aaaaaaaaaaargh” Buffy yelled aloud as she thrashed around under him, “Oh God! Oh… Oh… Ooooooh! Spiiiiike! My Spiiiiike!”

Hearing his name shouted in ecstasy thrilled Spike beyond measure. Coupled with the physical feeling of the wildly pulsating muscles enclosing him and the powerful waves of overwhelming pleasure flooding through the bond, Spike lost himself in an euphoric haze of delirious sensation. His own explosive joy joined with that of his mate, causing her to redouble her cries, which fed into his own orgasm, prolonging it for what seemed like hours as he first growled, then roared through his release.

When Spike next became aware of his surroundings the first thing he noticed was the pounding heart and desperate gasping of the sweaty figure beneath him. Instantly he rolled to one side while holding her securely to him. He opened his eyes and gazed into the wide dark green orbs staring back at him. Eventually Buffy’s breathing began to slow down, and Spike dared to lean forward and caress her lips with his own. He then proceeded to rain kisses across her cheeks and nose and chin, before returning to her mouth, which welcomed him and returned his attentions.

Still needing to breathe deeply, Buffy turned her mouth from his once more and rested her forehead against his. “Oh God…” She sobbed hoarsely, “That was… I mean… It was just… Wasn’t it?”

Spike giggled helplessly as he cuddled her tightly to him, “I couldn’t have put it any better myself, love.”

“Gotta love that Vampire Mating Bond…” She finally managed to form a relatively coherent sentence, “Anya was *so* right… just amazing… world record amazing…”

“You gonna tell her?” He asked with a wicked grin, “She’ll be so jealous…”

“I just might…” She admitted slyly, “Next time she starts going on about the Xander and Anya sexcapades…” She snuggled into him and yawned widely. “You’ve worn me out…”

“Sleep pet, I’ll stay for a while and then go and do the rounds of the demon bars. I’ll be back before sunrise, hopefully to be with you when you wake up… okay?”

She moaned in reply, then whispered, “My keys in my coat pocket, lock up as you go out and take them with you.”

“Okay love,” He agreed, then sat up and looked around at the disarray of the bed. He was relieved to see that at least this time they didn’t appear to have broken anything. “I’ll just get you comfy…” He slid out of her arms and stood up, his knees shaking slightly as he moved. They had ended up half on top of the covers which had slipped to the floor on Buffy’s side of the bed, so he lifted her and cradled her against his chest as he pulled the top sheet down, and laid her back on the bed. Gathering the covers into the right position he then remade the bed with her in it, finally crawling gratefully back into her waiting arms.

A small hand reached down and caressed him, bringing him instantly erect once more. Sleepily Buffy asked, “Want to go to sleep with you inside me... please? Need to feel you…”

“Anything for my Buffy… my Mate…” He drew her in close and she lifted her leg over his hip, allowing him to slide straight back in as he kissed her. He rocked against her very gently so that she could feel him loving her as she sighed and began to drift off, her hips rolling slightly in automatic response to his movements.

In the few minutes while Buffy gradually relaxed against him and her hips slowed and stopped their lazy reactions to his rocking, Spike continued to cradle her tenderly in his arms while listening to the night sounds of the house around him. After a time he noticed very quiet feminine whispers and giggles coming up the stairs. He smiled as he recognised Willow and Tara’s voices. So Tara had stayed overnight. He was delighted the girls’ reconciliation was complete, the gentle Wicca deserved all the happiness she could get, and it was possible that her presence would reinforce Willow’s resistance to the dark magic she had become vulnerable to.

Belatedly he wondered if he and Buffy had made too much noise, and had woken them. Then he realised that they had left their clothes scattered in a trail leading from the front door directly to the bedroom door, and he barely managed to prevent himself laughing out loud. He would have to ensure the couple was back in their room with the door closed before he ventured out to get dressed again.

When a few minutes later he heard their bedroom door clicking shut, and then the squeak of bedsprings, Spike very slowly withdrew from Buffy’s body, and disentangled himself from her limbs. He waited beside her for a few moments to ensure he hadn’t disturbed her sleep, and then slipped out of the bed. He checked that the curtains were pulled completely over both windows ready for the morning so he wouldn’t have a dusty surprise, then padded to the door and silently opened it.

He found his jeans neatly folded on the landing with his boots sitting tidily beside them, and smiled as he put them on. Half way down the stairs he found Buffy’s jeans and boots arrayed just as neatly. He saw his T shirt and Buffy’s camisole and sweater folded on the hall table. Their coats were hanging on the coat rack, and the patrolling bag had been tucked away underneath it.

Spike finished dressing and headed into the kitchen for a mug of blood. He had to stifle a laugh when he found a note stuck to the fridge door. It read: ‘If no soundproofing… earplugs please!’ with a big smiley face taking the sting from the request.

Fortified with warm blood he took Buffy’s keys from her coat pocket and went out into the darkness, careful to lock the door after himself. He pushed the motorcycle along the road a way before starting it up, and then headed towards his first point of call, the junkyard. He had decided to attach a holder for his favourite axe to the side of the bike, and needed to find some suitable materials. A short rummage provided him with a few likely pieces of metal and an offcut of thick leather.

He took these to a workshop he knew of and ‘encouraged’ the up and over door to open. It only took a few minutes with the welding gear to fabricate a pair of clips designed to hold the axe handle. It took a few minutes more to thread some strong wire through holes he punched in the leather to create a flap that would cover the axe head to protect his leg, and that of any passenger he may carry, from the sharp blade. He fixed the clips and flap securely to the body of the bike.

Replacing all the tools he had used where he found them, Spike pulled the door closed again, and arranged the broken lock so that it appeared intact. He paused to consider for a moment as he mounted the bike to drive away. Would Buffy consider that he had been stealing? He hadn’t actually taken anything away apart from a few lengths of wire, but he had used some of the welding gases, and he had broken the lock, which would need to be replaced. Sighing in resignation he dismounted, pulled the door open, and taking a twenty dollar bill from his pocket he tucked it under a screwdriver that was placed in clear view on the bench. He closed the door after himself again and drove away towards the first of the demon bars on his list, his inconvenient conscience clear.

Several fruitless hours later he entered Willy’s bar, the last establishment on his list, considerably less sober than he had been at the beginning of the night. It was impossible just to walk into a demon bar and start asking questions straight away, that was the best way to get into a fight. You had to sit and order a drink or two, blend in, get chatting naturally to your fellow customers and the person serving behind the bar. Sometimes it was necessary to enter into a game of chance or two, and losing meant you gained some sympathy from the other players and were more likely to receive a friendly answer to your enquiries. Angel’s roll of cash was noticeably thinner than it had been, and Spike had absolutely no new information to show for his trouble. Nobody knew anything about a new vampire in town turning unusual numbers of people and leaving them to their own devices, or at least if they did know anything they weren’t about to tell him.

He sat slumped dejectedly on a stool at the bar and asked Willy for a large Jack Daniels, he’d had enough beer for one night. The whiskey quickly arrived in front of him, but Spike was astonished when Willy refused to take his money. The human bar owner nodded towards a figure sitting alone at a table tucked away in the shadows at the rear of the bar. “Vamp back there has been sitting in here for a good part of the last three nights waiting for you to turn up, Spike, claims he knows you. The drink’s on him.”

Spike nodded in acknowledgement and peered suspiciously at the vampire he could barely see in the dark corner, and reluctantly slid off the stool. Carrying his glass with him and fingering the ever present stake in his coat pocket just in case, he crossed to sit opposite the good-looking young man who was cradling a bottle of beer. Immediately he recognised the familiar tingle he had been sensing all night, and struggled to remember the face in front of him.

“I gather I should thank you for my drink,” he began, tipping his glass as if in a toast before sipping his whiskey. “I feel as if I should know you…?” He left his implied question hanging as he lit a cigarette.

“The name’s Nathan, Spike.” The vampire replied readily, “I don’t know if we ever actually spoke, but I was one of The Master’s minions. Darla sired me to serve him when the earthquake trapped him in that buried church in ’37. I stayed on in Sunnydale for a while after the Slayer got him and you dusted the Anointed One.” He began to look slightly ashamed. “I respected you as my Master, but I felt rather uncomfortable when you ended up in that wheelchair, it made us a bit vulnerable. I really didn’t fancy sticking around when Angelus came back, he makes me very nervous, so I kind of went off on my travels…”

“So you’re family,” Spike nodded in recognition of the reason why Nathan felt familiar. “That doesn’t explain why you’ve been following me around town and waiting in here to see me…”

“I had to catch you when you weren’t with the Slayer,” Nathan explained nervously, “Is it true? You’re really mated to her?”

Spike sighed and turned his head slightly, pointing out his new scar as he drew his stake half way out of his pocket in case the confirmation of his suspicions caused Nathan to attack him. “Mated to her and living with her.” He explained. “She’s a remarkable woman.”

“She must be!” The young vampire exclaimed. “That’s her scent on you?” When Spike nodded he continued warily, “So… you and Drusilla broke up then?”

“Yeah, a few years ago now, she buggered off with a Chaos Demon, and I came back to Sunnydale and fell in love with the Slayer.” Spike silently cursed his loose tongue, he really had to start cutting down on the drinking. His position in town was precarious enough without him sharing all his weaknesses.

“That explains a lot.” Nathan said very thoughtfully. “I think I can do you a favour Spike.”

“Is that right?” Spike was suddenly even more suspicious, “Why would you do that then?”

“Well… I know Angelus is technically the Master of the Order now, but he’s gone and got his soul back again and left the game, and Drusilla is senior to you and I should follow her orders, but I’ve discovered she’s… well to put it politely she’s rather unreliable. I’d rather have you as my Master. I can respect you as a vampire who knows his own mind, even if you are treading an um… unorthodox path. The thing is… Drusilla looked me up a few weeks ago and told me to come back here to Sunnydale. She said she’d had a vision, she seemed to think you needed our help, that you’d been captured and imprisoned by the Slayer. I was supposed to help rescue you.” He smiled ruefully. “You don’t look much in need of rescuing to me…”

“That I’m not.” Spike asserted, “In fact if anything it’s the Slayer who has done the rescuing. I’m hers now, body and er… everything.” He frowned, “I don’t suppose Dru told you what this vision of hers was about?”

“Well now I’ve seen you and I know what’s been happening her ramblings make a lot more sense. I think she must have seen your mating with the Slayer somehow, and either she feels betrayed by you and wants to punish you, or she wants to punish the Slayer for stealing you from her. Either way I’m afraid you’re both probably in danger.”

Spike sighed in resignation. “Nothing new there then…” and signalled to Willy to bring another round of drinks. He sat deep in thought for a few minutes, until Willy had been and refilled his glass and handed Nathan a fresh bottle of beer. He suddenly had an unwelcome thought and sighed, “Dru’s here in town isn’t she?”

Nathan nodded, “She’s lying low while she tries to gather some forces, she said it was to break you out, but I’m not sure what plan she has in mind, if she’s even *got* a rational plan.”

“I don’t suppose that ‘gathering her forces’ includes turning dozens of people and leaving them unclaimed by the Order by any chance does it? The Slayer and I’ve been rushed off our feet staking the confused newly risen since we got back to town recently from a little trip to L.A.”

“Well she does go out most nights and comes back well fed. She doesn’t like anyone to go with her so I can’t tell you if that’s what she’s doing, but I wouldn’t be surprised.” Nathan shook his head in bewilderment. “You really do kill our own kind don’t you? I saw what you did with the Slayer in the Bronze tonight, but I had trouble believing my own eyes! Why do you do it?”

“So you did see that then? Spike chuckled, “Yeah, I’m not just her Mate, I’ve been on the Slayer’s team for a while now. She’s got me fighting for the forces of light. I’m not hunting humans any more, I hunt the demons who hunt humans instead.” He regarded the bemused vampire opposite him seriously. “If you accept me as your Master you’ll be making a deal with the Slayer too you know, we come as a pair. If that’s what you want you’re going to have to stop killing humans too. If you can’t give me your word on that you’ll be fair game for a dusty end when we meet up again even if you *are* family. I’ll be telling her everything you’ve told me, so if there’s anything you haven’t already told me that you don’t want her to know, you’d better shut up now.”

Nathan sat back in his seat and stared at Spike. “I’m going to have to think about this…” he said very quietly. “How can I live without killing humans? They’re food!”

Spike shrugged, “Plenty of butchers in town willing to sell you animal blood. It’s all disgusting compared with human blood, but you can live on it. Pig or cow is best, although you can sometimes get some more exotic stuff for a change. Helps if you can spice it up a bit with some burba weed or something, makes it almost palatable. Sometimes you can do a deal with the people at the bloodbank or the hospital for some human blood that’s gone past its date, but getting an occasional taste just makes the switch back to the animal crap afterwards even harder.”

He continued deliberately, “The most difficult thing is giving up the hunting and killing. It was when I was prevented from killing humans that I discovered it was just as much fun killing demons, that was when I joined the Slayer’s team. It gave me a chance to get in a spot of violence. It was only later that I found I really didn’t want to kill humans any more. That was *her* influence of course.” He grinned happily at the confused individual across the table. “I *save* human lives now… how’s that for irony?”

Spike cocked his head and concentrated as he gauged the time, less than half an hour to sunrise. “Look lad, you can leave town free and clear, no strings, and go on about your unlife as if we’d never met, or you can consider the offer of a deal seriously and meet me here again tomorrow night. If you decide to come in with the Slayer and me I’ll arrange a meeting with her for you. She’ll give you the once over and see what she thinks of you. If she agrees to the deal she’ll set out her own conditions for you to stick to. If you don’t want a deal you’ll be fair game as I said. Either way Dru’s not going to be a factor when we find her, she’ll either be dust or she’ll be gone.” He gulped down the last of his drink and prepared to leave. “The sun’ll be coming up soon and I’ve got to get back to my lady. I’ll be here same time tomorrow, if I don’t see you here you’d better start avoiding me.”

As Spike stood up Nathan quietly told him, “I’ll think about it Spike, I really will.” The blonde nodded to him and walked away.

As he drove home Spike began to wonder if he’d done the right thing. It seemed so obvious to him to give a clearly intelligent vampire of his own order a similar chance as his own to change his ways, but he couldn’t help doubting whether his Slayer would think the same way. He shrugged, if she didn’t want to do a deal with him she’d always have a stake handy for him, although it would be a shame if he ended up dust if he really was willing to change.

Spike was abruptly distracted from his ruminations by a very enticing odour, and swerved the bike to the side of the road and stopped. He entered the bakery and bought a big bag of hot freshly baked croissants and crusty rolls, throwing in a few assorted Danish pastries for luck. Breakfast for his girls all sorted.

He arrived back at the house as the sun rose, and by the time he had parked the bike and made a quick dash to the front door he ended up taking a billowing cloud of smoke indoors with him.

He hung his duster up and replaced Buffy’s keys in her coat pocket, then took the bag of baked goods into the kitchen, placing it in clear view on the island ready for when his girls got up. He grabbed another bag of blood from the fridge, poured it into a mug and put it in the microwave to warm through. When it was ready he carried it into the living room with a couple of croissants and had his breakfast sitting on the couch, merrily dunking the pastries in the blood as he ate them.

Yawning as he emptied his mug he got up and took it back into the kitchen and rinsed it under the cold tap to make it less unpleasant for whoever did the washing up next, then poured a large glass of fruit juice to take up to Buffy. Staring absently out of the kitchen window as he stood at the kitchen sink Spike saw the next door neighbour taking his garbage out to the kerb and frowned. He was sure he hadn’t seen any bags outside this house… they must have all forgotten. Without thinking about it he draped his duster over his head and emptied the kitchen bin into the large bin out the back, then he carried the two full black sacks out to the kerb. He turned and dashed back indoors, grabbing the mail from the box as he passed it.

Fanning away the remnants of his smoky haze he sorted the mail. He left two envelopes addressed to Willow and one for Dawn on the kitchen counter next to the bag of pastries and tucked the two for Buffy under his arm. He picked up the glass of juice and made his way upstairs, gathering Buffy’s discarded clothes on the way.

Spike opened the door quietly and slipped into the bedroom, carefully closing it behind him. Placing the glass of juice on the side table next to Buffy he propped the letters up against it where she couldn’t miss them, laid her little pile of clothes on the dresser and stripped. Cautiously he slid under the covers on what had become his side of the bed. Slowly he edged closer to his Slayer, taking care not to disturb her as he got comfortable spooned against her back with his arm draped over her so that he could cup his hand around a warm breast. He sighed contentedly and relaxed into the pillows, falling asleep almost immediately.