Got Fangs
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
2
Views:
5,977
Reviews:
13
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
2
Views:
5,977
Reviews:
13
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Dead Man's Chest
(A/N: This is a separate Halloween Fic, Adult rated for darkness rather than sex)
“I think the big fat one’s a good one,” Spike threw out. “That’s the ticket.”
“Nah, the skinny, crooked one’s more Halloween, less Disney,” Xander said, looking longingly at the pie Willow was slicing. “Sure smells good. One of these days, Will, you’re gonna have to teach the Buffster to cook.”
“That’s right, she had us eating an inner tube and tried to convince us it was steak.”
Willow’s eyebrows shot up. “Well, clearly you don’t recognize rubbery-goodness when you taste it.”
“Rubbery goodness is good in only one place.”
Xander cuffed Spike, shaking his head at the vampire’s smug look. “You happy now that Willow’s the color of the pumpkins outside?”
“Happier if she turned cherry… ah, there we go luv.” A triumphant gleam entered Spike’s eye as he ate his pie and reveled in the silence he’d managed to create.
A half hour later, Willow was pushing the pair of them out the door and admonishing them not to come back without costumes.
Spike showed his fangs and claimed he didn’t need a costume since he could go as a vampire. Xander readily agreed to wear his pirate outfit again, and they strolled away, coming to a stop at the tree in Willow’s yard.
“They’re cute together, aren’t they?”
“What, the pumpkins?” Spike looked over at Xander.
“Yeah. Wonder if they have sex.”
“What, the bloody pumpkins?”
“Yeah, and you said that already.”
“Didn’t say ‘bloody.’”
“True…”
“You’re a git. Course they have sex, see that one’s vine curled into—“
“Huh. It would be cool. You know, for us to be pumpkins for a couple hours—“
“Xander, no!”
“And have sex. I wish—“
“NO!” Only it wasn’t Spike’s voice that came out of his throat… it was a pale imitation of it, sounding much as if he’d inhaled helium from a balloon. He tried to turn, but found he was immobile. “Bloody fucking hell… now you’ve gone and done it.”
“Done what… oh my God, I must have fallen and I can’t get up,” Xander responded, seeing only a pumpkin in front of him.
“That’s me… and what do you think you are?”
“Huh? Holy, fucking…” Xander panicked. “I can’t move… what did you do?”
“Me? It was your wish that did it, I tried to stop you, yeah?”
“But… what do you mean. Fuck… can’t be the magic wish bone. I don’t have it, Willow’s got it.”
“I might have slipped it into your pocket.”
“Then it’s your fault!”
“Again, it was your bloody wish. You couldn’t have wished for something like a fancy car or a …”
They were deeply embroiled in a high pitched argument when Xander squeaked. “What’s that… oh God, it feels…”
“Is it long and hard, moving about…”
“Yeah… ah, Spike… do that again… fuck… “
“Ever heard of tentacle porn?” Pumpkin!Spike’s breath became labored as he concentrated on moving his tendril around and over Pumpkin!Xander’s stem.
“Unh… unh… unh… Spike…”
“Oh yeah…” The pumpkin quivered and pulled its tendril back. “Not too bad.”
“Hah, see! Wasn’t that bad of an idea.”
“Right.”
“Yeah.”
“What are we going to do now?”
“You tell me, you got us into this. Sodding hell… I’m getting bored.”
Another round of arguments ensued and continued for nearly an hour, until they heard footsteps. Willow’s.
“Willow, help us! Come on Will, Spike put the wishbone in my…”
“Don’t listen to the bugger, Red. He made the wish. Any chance you can…”
Both pumpkins were suddenly silent as they noticed the sliver of silver gleaming in her hand. And then they were both screaming at her, trying with all of their might to be heard.
Willow pointed her carving knife first at one pumpkin, then the other. “Skinny or fat… skinny or fat… hmmm?”
“Skinny, pick the skinny one!” Spike shouted, “Bloody fucking hell, if there’s a God, pick the skinny one Red, pick ….”
“Spike…. Spike….”
“Red, skinny one… listen to me!”
Willow smiled, “’big fat one’s the ticket!’”
“Nooooooooooooo! God noooooooooooooo”
She pushed the carving knive inside the plump round pumpkin and hollowed it out, pouring its reddish inside out onto the ground.
“Xander… Xander-luv….” Spike’s voice grew hoarse and ran out on him about the same time Xander’s shouts stilled.
“Uh huh… Spike was right, you’re perfect,” she said, putting a candle inside the jack-o-lantern. Odd… the other pumpkin had red streams of juice pouring down its sides. Wiping it clean so it was nice and shiny, she headed inside.
*
Hours later, Spike was on his knees, sobbing and holding Xander’s lifeless body. “Why couldn’t it have been me… a vampire, right there… and she chose the…” the fat one.
“Oh my God, Spike! What have you…” The Slayer hovered her stake right against his chest and had just worked out that he wasn’t fighting… wasn’t stopping her.
“What’s going… Xander…” Willow took the scene in, and pointed at Xander’s bloody chest… where if you looked hard enough, you could see someone had carved out a face. Her eyes flew to Spike’s and she blanched at the sight of red tears streaming down from his eyes. “Omigod… Omigod… Omigod…”
“Someone tell me what’s going on?” Buffy lowered the stake. “Someone tell me this is… it’s a Halloween trick… someone tell me…”
A bunch of costumed kids pushing each other, laughing, screaming, and waving their bags drew close. Childish “eewwws” and “neat costume!” pierced the air around them.
Once they passed, the entire group turned around and shouted, “Happy Halloween!!!!”
(A/N: Comments Very Much Appreciated)
“I think the big fat one’s a good one,” Spike threw out. “That’s the ticket.”
“Nah, the skinny, crooked one’s more Halloween, less Disney,” Xander said, looking longingly at the pie Willow was slicing. “Sure smells good. One of these days, Will, you’re gonna have to teach the Buffster to cook.”
“That’s right, she had us eating an inner tube and tried to convince us it was steak.”
Willow’s eyebrows shot up. “Well, clearly you don’t recognize rubbery-goodness when you taste it.”
“Rubbery goodness is good in only one place.”
Xander cuffed Spike, shaking his head at the vampire’s smug look. “You happy now that Willow’s the color of the pumpkins outside?”
“Happier if she turned cherry… ah, there we go luv.” A triumphant gleam entered Spike’s eye as he ate his pie and reveled in the silence he’d managed to create.
A half hour later, Willow was pushing the pair of them out the door and admonishing them not to come back without costumes.
Spike showed his fangs and claimed he didn’t need a costume since he could go as a vampire. Xander readily agreed to wear his pirate outfit again, and they strolled away, coming to a stop at the tree in Willow’s yard.
“They’re cute together, aren’t they?”
“What, the pumpkins?” Spike looked over at Xander.
“Yeah. Wonder if they have sex.”
“What, the bloody pumpkins?”
“Yeah, and you said that already.”
“Didn’t say ‘bloody.’”
“True…”
“You’re a git. Course they have sex, see that one’s vine curled into—“
“Huh. It would be cool. You know, for us to be pumpkins for a couple hours—“
“Xander, no!”
“And have sex. I wish—“
“NO!” Only it wasn’t Spike’s voice that came out of his throat… it was a pale imitation of it, sounding much as if he’d inhaled helium from a balloon. He tried to turn, but found he was immobile. “Bloody fucking hell… now you’ve gone and done it.”
“Done what… oh my God, I must have fallen and I can’t get up,” Xander responded, seeing only a pumpkin in front of him.
“That’s me… and what do you think you are?”
“Huh? Holy, fucking…” Xander panicked. “I can’t move… what did you do?”
“Me? It was your wish that did it, I tried to stop you, yeah?”
“But… what do you mean. Fuck… can’t be the magic wish bone. I don’t have it, Willow’s got it.”
“I might have slipped it into your pocket.”
“Then it’s your fault!”
“Again, it was your bloody wish. You couldn’t have wished for something like a fancy car or a …”
They were deeply embroiled in a high pitched argument when Xander squeaked. “What’s that… oh God, it feels…”
“Is it long and hard, moving about…”
“Yeah… ah, Spike… do that again… fuck… “
“Ever heard of tentacle porn?” Pumpkin!Spike’s breath became labored as he concentrated on moving his tendril around and over Pumpkin!Xander’s stem.
“Unh… unh… unh… Spike…”
“Oh yeah…” The pumpkin quivered and pulled its tendril back. “Not too bad.”
“Hah, see! Wasn’t that bad of an idea.”
“Right.”
“Yeah.”
“What are we going to do now?”
“You tell me, you got us into this. Sodding hell… I’m getting bored.”
Another round of arguments ensued and continued for nearly an hour, until they heard footsteps. Willow’s.
“Willow, help us! Come on Will, Spike put the wishbone in my…”
“Don’t listen to the bugger, Red. He made the wish. Any chance you can…”
Both pumpkins were suddenly silent as they noticed the sliver of silver gleaming in her hand. And then they were both screaming at her, trying with all of their might to be heard.
Willow pointed her carving knife first at one pumpkin, then the other. “Skinny or fat… skinny or fat… hmmm?”
“Skinny, pick the skinny one!” Spike shouted, “Bloody fucking hell, if there’s a God, pick the skinny one Red, pick ….”
“Spike…. Spike….”
“Red, skinny one… listen to me!”
Willow smiled, “’big fat one’s the ticket!’”
“Nooooooooooooo! God noooooooooooooo”
She pushed the carving knive inside the plump round pumpkin and hollowed it out, pouring its reddish inside out onto the ground.
“Xander… Xander-luv….” Spike’s voice grew hoarse and ran out on him about the same time Xander’s shouts stilled.
“Uh huh… Spike was right, you’re perfect,” she said, putting a candle inside the jack-o-lantern. Odd… the other pumpkin had red streams of juice pouring down its sides. Wiping it clean so it was nice and shiny, she headed inside.
*
Hours later, Spike was on his knees, sobbing and holding Xander’s lifeless body. “Why couldn’t it have been me… a vampire, right there… and she chose the…” the fat one.
“Oh my God, Spike! What have you…” The Slayer hovered her stake right against his chest and had just worked out that he wasn’t fighting… wasn’t stopping her.
“What’s going… Xander…” Willow took the scene in, and pointed at Xander’s bloody chest… where if you looked hard enough, you could see someone had carved out a face. Her eyes flew to Spike’s and she blanched at the sight of red tears streaming down from his eyes. “Omigod… Omigod… Omigod…”
“Someone tell me what’s going on?” Buffy lowered the stake. “Someone tell me this is… it’s a Halloween trick… someone tell me…”
A bunch of costumed kids pushing each other, laughing, screaming, and waving their bags drew close. Childish “eewwws” and “neat costume!” pierced the air around them.
Once they passed, the entire group turned around and shouted, “Happy Halloween!!!!”
(A/N: Comments Very Much Appreciated)