Soul Mates

Part 2

"Well, there you go. They're all done."

Willow looked over the two sets of bookshelves Xander had just finished assembling in their living room. He'd really done a good job - these shelves hadn't been bought at a store, Xander had made them from scratch from finished wood he'd brought over. He definitely had a nice touch with woodwork.

"They're beautiful, Xander," said Tara, walking in from the kitchen to stand beside Willow. "They're much nicer than our old shelves. Where did you get them?"

"Oh, we got done with the interior of the building we're working on a couple of days ago, and we had some leftover wood. It wasn't enough to be worth sending back, and I remembered that you'd talked about wanting new bookcases, so I grabbed it up." He grinned. "Being the supervisor does have its privileges."

"Well, thank you. It was really nice of you to make these for us," Willow said happily.

"It was no problem at all," Xander replied. "Now just let me move them up against the wall here," he continued, turning toward the first bookcase.

"Do you need some help?" Tara asked.

"No, I've got it," he declared. He lifted one bookcase and maneuvered it up against the wall. He paused for a moment to catch his breath, then repeated the process with the other one, setting them next to each other.

Willow watched him as he moved the shelves. They were obviously heavy, and Xander's arms strained with the effort of moving them. She could see the muscles in his chest flexing through the light T-shirt he was wearing, and her heart started beating a little faster at the sight. She briefly pictured him taking it off, wondered what it would feel like to walk up and run her hands down his bare chest....

She stopped herself before her thoughts could go too far down that road. It wouldn't do to get all hot and bothered in front of Xander.

However, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Tara was staring at him as well.

"There we go," Xander said, stepping back and looking the shelves over one last time. "Now all we have to do is put the books back." He glanced over at the neat, orderly piles of books on the other side of the living room.

"Oh, we'll take care of that, don't worry," Willow said hastily. "You've done plenty already."

"Yeah, we can do it after dinner. Which I'd better go check on," said Tara, turning and heading for the kitchen. "It shouldn't be too much longer, by the way."

"Great," Xander called out as Tara left the room. Then he gave an exaggerated sniff. "Although I might not be very pleasant dinner table company," he concluded with a chuckle. Between their new bookcases, and hauling their old shelves down to the dumpster, he'd done quite a bit of work this afternoon.

Willow smirked. "Why don't you take a quick shower before we eat?" she suggested.

"Good idea," Xander said, nodding. "I'll just be a few minutes." He turned and headed for the short hallway leading to the bedrooms and the bathroom, and a moment later Willow heard a door close and the water start running.

She walked into the kitchen, seeing Tara standing in front of the stove, carefully watching the stir-fry she was making. She moved up behind her girlfriend and wrapped her arms around her waist. Tara turned toward her, and Willow gave her a quick kiss.

"So, I saw you checking him out," Willow said softly. Tara tensed a little at the words.

"I was just..." she began, but Willow cut her off.

"No, baby, it's okay," Willow quickly reassured her. "I'm not upset. I mean... I was doing it too," she finished in a whisper.

"You liked what you saw?" Willow asked after a moment's silence.

Tara blushed and ducked her head a little. "Yes," she replied quietly, stirring the meat and vegetables in the pan before her.

The admission excited Willow. It had been a few days since Tara had had her dream about Xander. They hadn't talked about it after that night, but Willow had noticed her girlfriend looking Xander over more than casually a few times since then.

Willow had had her suspicions, but finding out that there was more to this than just a dream, that Tara actually was attracted to Xander.... The possibilities were... intriguing, to say the least.

They definitely had to talk about this later.

***

"What?" Tara's tone held a mixture of surprise and amusement. "You glued his lunchbox shut?"

"Yep," Xander answered proudly. "And I did a fine job of it too, if I do say so myself."

Willow smiled at the musical sound of her girlfriend's laughter. After dinner, they'd put the books away and moved to the living room, and Willow was seated on one end of their couch with Tara snuggled up against her. Xander was leaned back at the other end, half-turned to face them, one leg resting easily on the cushions.

Willow wrapped her arms around Tara's waist and relaxed against the pillows piled behind her. She liked this, this atmosphere. It was nice. Comfortable.

"No matter how hard they tried, no one could get it open," Xander continued with a grin. "So Tommy Wilson had to share the teacher's lunch. He had to sit up at her desk and eat it with her. Kids were making fun of him over that for weeks afterward."

Willow smiled at the memory. Xander had gotten away with it, too. They'd spent the next recess together behind the school building laughing about it.

Tara giggled again. "I probably shouldn't be laughing at this," she said, "but that is funny."

"Hey, he deserved it," Xander protested. "After the way he teased Willow about her hair."

"He did?" Tara turned slightly in Willow's arms and met her eyes.

Willow nodded. "Yeah. I was the only girl in our class with red hair, so I got teased about it a lot." Even now, the memories still came with a touch of embarrassment, but she also remembered how Xander had always comforted her afterward. Those were much happier thoughts.

"For a while," Xander interjected. "But they all learned their lesson and stopped eventually. When it came to defending Willow's honor, there was no prank too childish for me," he finished, puffing out his chest in mock pride.

Seeing his exaggerated pose, Willow and Tara both dissolved into laughter. Xander raised an eyebrow at this, and for a moment, he seemed torn over whether or not to be offended. Soon enough, however, he was laughing along with them.

There was a brief silence afterward as they all caught their breath. "So..." Tara said after a moment, "you've told me all these stories about when you were kids. What about high school? What was that like?"

"High school was pretty ordinary," Xander replied, "until we met Buffy."

"Yeah, but after that, it got a lot more interesting," said Willow. "And, you know, dangerous.

"But even then, Xander was still watching out for me," she continued softly, thinking back on all the dangers they'd faced together. She looked up and met Tara's eyes. "I can't even remember how many times he saved my life. If I was in trouble, he'd always come charging to rescue me. It didn't matter how dangerous it was," she finished, looking over at Xander fondly.

Tara, too, gave Xander a big smile, and he shifted a little, clearly not entirely comfortable with the praise. "Well, I mean, I..." he began.

"Don't," Willow said, cutting him off. She knew what he was going to say next and she didn't want to hear it. "Don't say it wasn't a big deal. Xander, you risked your life to save me. Lots of times. Don't pretend it was nothing."

She disentangled herself from Tara and rose from the couch, stepping over to the other side where Xander was sitting. "Come here," she said, holding out her hands. Xander stood up and she pulled him into a tight hug, holding him closely for a long moment.

Finally, she pulled away, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek. She smiled at him happily, and he returned the gesture. She didn't say thank you - he already knew how grateful she was. It was one of those things that was unspoken between them.

Tara also stood and gave Xander a brief hug. "Yeah," she said, stepping back and taking Willow's hand, "facing down vampires and demons? Not very many people have what it takes to do that. I mean, most people would just run away."

"Well, you both do it too. So whatever it is I have, you have it too," Xander pointed out with a chuckle. "But thank you," he finished sincerely.

He glanced at the clock on the wall. "I'd better get going," he said. Willow turned and took note of the time; it was fairly late, later than she'd thought it was. She'd totally lost track of time during their conversation.

"Okay. But you guys have to tell me some of those high school stories sometime," Tara said with a grin.

"Yeah, we will," Xander said as they walked to the door. "Anyway, thanks for dinner."

"No problem," Tara replied happily. "Thank *you* for the bookshelves."

"We'll see you tomorrow. And be careful!" Willow admonished as he stepped out into the hallway.

"Don't worry, I will be," Xander reassured them. "Goodnight." With that, he turned and headed for the stairs. Willow closed and locked the door behind him and followed Tara back into their living room.

As they sat down on the couch together, Willow sighed softly. "That was fun," she said, turning to face Tara.

"It was," Tara agreed. "It was nice."

After a moment of silence, Willow spoke again. "So.... Want to talk about what we were discussing before? In the kitchen?" she said slowly.

Tara turned and looked at her seriously. "Okay," she replied. She was clearly a little nervous, and Willow moved to sit next to her, laying a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

Smiling in gratitude, Tara took Willow's hand in both of hers and moved them to her lap. She looked down at them for a moment, absently stroking Willow's palm with her thumb. Willow waited patiently, not wanting to make her any more uncomfortable than she already was.

"I'm attracted to Xander," Tara finally admitted. "That dream... it wasn't just a random thing. I've been... noticing... him for a while now."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Willow asked gently.

"Well, I... I wasn't sure about it," Tara replied. "I mean, I've never... felt this way about a guy before. But after that dream.... Well, after that, I was definitely sure," she finished, looking up and giving Willow a quick smile.

Tara didn't seem to be quite as embarrassed about this as she was the last time they'd talked. That was definitely of the good; maybe she'd gotten used to the idea of finding Xander attractive.

"Tara..." Willow began tentatively, "there's something I have to tell you." She'd been wondering how to broach this subject for a while now, but finally decided it was best to just come out and say it.

"I told you before that I had a huge crush on Xander for a long time," she said, looking her girlfriend in the eye and gauging her reaction. At Tara's answering nod, she continued.

"Well, what I didn't tell you was that, back in high school, in our senior year, we kinda... had a little... affair.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you!" she added hurriedly, before Tara could speak. "But things were totally over by the time you and I met and I didn't want anything to be awkward between you guys and I hope you're not upset with me," she finished, taking a breath. She still had a tendency to babble a little when she was excited or anxious.

"Willow, honey, I'm not upset," Tara reassured her. "I mean, it was in the past. There's nothing to be upset about."

Relieved, Willow gave her a quick hug. When she pulled back, Tara favored her with another of her beautiful smiles. Only this time, there was a touch of mischief in it.

"So, you and Xander had an affair?" she asked, emphasizing the last word just a little.

"Well, not an *affair*," Willow replied. "All we did was kiss and fool around a little. We didn't actually have sex. Although...." She paused briefly, thinking over what she was about to say.

Well, if she was going to be honest, she might as well tell her everything. "I wanted to. I mean, we were both involved with other people and we knew that what we were doing was wrong, but still.... I really wanted to, and I think Xander did too. And if we hadn't gotten caught, by Oz and Cordelia, I think we eventually would have.

"But no, nothing ever happened between us," she finished.

Tara gave her hand a comforting squeeze, and Willow smiled at her in return. She'd been afraid that this conversation would go very differently, but Tara was being very understanding. She felt a little guilty for not having more faith in her girlfriend.

"So..." Tara said slowly, her smile broadening a little, "was he a good kisser?"

"Oh yeah," Willow replied emphatically. "I never told anyone this before, not even Buffy, but... he was a *way* better kisser than Oz. And... he was very good with his hands, too," she said, shivering a little as she remembered the couple of times his hands had found their way under her shirt during their makeout sessions.

"God, I wanted him so badly back then," Willow murmured. "And..." she took a deep breath, steeling herself for this last admission, "I kinda do now, too."

Tara stared into her eyes with an intensity that Willow rarely saw outside of when they were making love. "I do too," she said at length, her voice barely above a whisper. Her words hung in the air between them, and several seconds of silence followed them.

"I'm still not quite sure what to think about it," Tara said, her voice breaking the stillness that had settled over the room. "Like I said, I've never been attracted to any other guys. And, you know, I'm still not."

Willow nodded. "I know what you mean," she replied. "I mean, like, Spike?" She shuddered in revulsion. "A *world* of ick."

Tara scowled at her words. "Ew, *not* an image I wanted," she said forcefully. She shook her head once. "But..." she mused, her expression relaxing somewhat, "you know, I see guys all the time at school, too, and I don't find any of them attractive either. But Xander's... special.

"And it's not just physical, either," she continued. "I mean, I... I like Xander. A lot. He's nice, and he's brave... and he makes me laugh. And he stood up to my family with the rest of you when they were here last month." Tara frowned slightly as she spoke; she clearly still didn't like talking about her family. Not that Willow blamed her for that.

"And he has one of the most beautiful auras I've ever seen," she continued, her demeanor brightening again. "So, yeah, there's a lot of things I like about him."

"So..." Willow suddenly felt very nervous, but managed to keep her voice steady as she spoke. "The question is, what do we do about it?"

"Do about it?" Tara echoed cautiously. She looked a little anxious again, but she clearly wasn't surprised that the conversation had taken this turn.

"Tara, honey, I love you," Willow said sincerely. "I'm totally in love with you." She rested her hands on her girlfriend's arms and looked her in the eye. "I would never, ever choose to be with anyone else over you. Not even Xander."

"But when you told me about your dream... when I saw that you might be interested in Xander... it got me to thinking. What if... we could all be together?" Willow fell silent, watching Tara's face for any sign of her reaction to the idea. She bit her lower lip nervously as she waited.

Tara's uncomfortable look from earlier had returned, but she actually seemed to be considering what Willow had said, rather than rejecting it out of hand. That was definitely a good sign. When she didn't say anything in response, Willow continued.

"You know that we're practically in a relationship with Xander already," she offered. "He comes over just about every day. He's even been spending the weekends with us lately. And we all like being together. The only difference is, he goes home at night.

"But what if...." She caught Tara's gaze and held it seriously. "What if he didn't have to go home? What if he could stay... with us?"

"Well..." Tara replied slowly, "I'd tell you I need some time to think about it, but the truth is, I've been thinking about it a lot these past few days. I mean..." she trailed off briefly, seemingly struggling a bit with what to say next. "I like the idea," she finally admitted. She blushed a bit, but didn't look away as she continued. "But... could things really work... between us?"

"Well, we... we wouldn't be the only ones out there in an unconventional relationship, you know." Willow inwardly winced at how lame that response sounded. She really should have prepared for this conversation better. She should have taken some time and laid out her arguments carefully. And made up note cards, with color-coded bullet points....

But it was too late for that now. So she decided to make things as simple as she could. "Tara, how do you feel about me?"

"I love you," her girlfriend replied without hesitation.

"And... how do you feel about Xander?"

Tara was much slower to respond to that. She remained silent for several moments, her face scrunched up in that adorable way she had when she was really thinking about something. Willow waited for her answer with bated breath.

"I think I love him too," she finally declared. Her voice was initially uncertain, but she seemed to grow more sure of herself as she spoke. "I mean, it's different from the way I feel about you. But I like it when he's with us, and I miss him when he's gone, and I really do care about him. A lot."

Willow clasped her girlfriend's hands. "Does it bother you that I love Xander too?"

Tara shook her head. "No. Not at all."

"And, does it bother you that I want him to join us... when we make love?" Willow asked softly.

Even as the words left her mouth, Willow could still scarcely believe she'd said them. But it was true - she wanted this. She wanted this like she'd wanted very few other things in her life. Even just thinking about it almost made her shiver with desire.

"No," Tara replied slowly. "It doesn't. Like I said, I've been thinking about this quite a bit... and I like the idea. A lot." She fell silent, staring off into the distance speculatively.

Then she frowned suddenly. "But what about Xander?" she asked. "We've been talking about how we feel about this, but... how's he going to react?"

Willow chuckled. "Well, as far as the sex stuff goes..." she trailed off, blushing a little, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious about talking about this. But she forced herself to press on.

"Believe me when I tell you he's not gonna have *any* problem with that," she said forcefully. "But he likes just being around us, too. And I know he really cares about us. I can tell. Tara, honey, I would never want to do this if I thought it'd just be about sex. But it would never be just sex for him. He's not like that."

Tara nodded. "I know. I mean, he never struck me as that type either." She took a deep breath. "Okay. I can't believe I'm saying this, but... okay. I want this too. But..." a worried look crossed her face, "how do we do this, exactly?"

Willow thought for a moment. "Well, like I said, we're practically already in a relationship," she mused. "The only thing we haven't done is have sex."

She met Tara's eyes, trying to make sure she was really okay with this. "So when he comes over tomorrow...."

"Yes?" Tara replied. Her tone was a little anxious, but she didn't seem to be having any doubts.

Willow smiled mischievously. "We seduce him."

TBC...