I Love You Enough...

Author: Niki

Title: I Love You Enough…- Chapter 2/?

Pairing: Faith/Buffy. It just doesn’t get hotter than those two, babe.

Summary: Faith and Buffy fall in love, but is love always enough?

Rating: NC-17 in later parts

Disclaimer: Yeah, these aren’t mine, they’re Joss’s, but I think you already knew that.

Note: Thanks for feedback. Give me more. Let me know what you think. Really, feedback is my life. So pleeeeeaaaaaasssee, give me feedback! I’ll be your best friend/girlfriend/sex slave for life!

Note 2: This takes place after Earshot and goes into Graduation Day Part1. I’m also gonna be switching POV’s in this one. Oh, and the italicized lines or * * lines for some are thoughts that Buffy hears. Enjoy.

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“So, who’s better, Faith?” I sneer, letting all of my current rage toward her shine through.

“Fuck you, B.”

*I love you, B.*

What? Oh God, what did she just think?

“So B, are you gonna kill me now? Cause if not, I’d appreciate it if you’d get the fuck off of me.”

*Or you could just move your hand a little lower. Either one works for me.*

I jump back, feeling burned by her thoughts. No, I had to have heard wrong. I know your thoughts can’t lie, but there is no way that Faith’s in love with me. I mean, it’s just impossible. If, by some chance she liked girls, she would want to fuck me, and nothing more. But love me? No, I heard wrong. I’m wigging over nothing.

Faith’s looking at me with a concerned look in her eyes, and it makes my stomach flutter. Maybe she does have feelings for me. It sure would explain a lot.

“What’s wrong with you?” She asks, coming closer to me. She’s searching my eyes, trying to figure out why I suddenly freaked out and started acting like a crazy person.

I decide to try reading her again, and grab her arm. She tries to pull away from me, but I hold tight, determined to figure out what’s going on in her head.

*Jesus, what’s wrong with her. I’m supposed to be the crazy one. She’s scaring me a a little. Please be Ok, B.*

“Faith, how do you feel about me?”

*What? Why would she ask that?*

“What are you talking about, B? You know how I feel about you. I want to kill you. Did I not make that clear the other day when I was gonna tie you up and torture you?”

*Please, B, I’m sorry I did that. I don’t want you dead. I love you. Wait, Shit! Stop thinking that, Faith! You don’t love her! You don’t know how to love! Is what I’m feeling even love? Should love hurt this much?*

I let go of her arm, knowing all that I need to know. She loves me, she actually loves me. I cannot believe this. This definitely complicates me life a whole bunch.

I look at her, watching her mask of hate, now knowing what goes on underneath. Give it up, Faith. I know now.
My eyes soften and I look at her sadly. “You love me, Faith?”

Faith’s eyes suddenly go wide, and her look is a mixture of fear and shock. Like she wants to run and yet can’t even believe that I just asked what I asked.

“What?” she sneers, giving me the most disgusted look. “Of course not. If I dug chicks, I surely wouldn’t be into a goody-goody, stick up her ass, little princess like you.”

Normally, I would be hurt by that. I mean, I’m still a little insulted, but I’ll let it slide because I’m just sick of her lies and facades. I want the truth. I’ll make her give me the truth.

“Faith, the other night, I ran into a demon that infected me with its blood, giving me an aspect of itself. I was worried I was gonna grow horns or a tail, but you know what I got? I got the power to read minds.” She looks a little horrified at this. “I could here everyone’s hopes, desires, and secrets that they wanted to keep hidden. Then it started to drive me crazy, so I had to do something gross that I will not discuss, and the voices in my head started to fade away. They’re not completely gone yet, though. Do you know how I can still here thoughts? If I’m touching you.”

Faith stares at me. She looks so scared and I just want to hug her, hold her to me and tell her not to be scared anymore. But I can’t.

Finally, Faith breaks the silence with a cold, bitter laugh. “Yeah, Ok Twinkie. Whatever you say. That’s a cute little story you got there. You actually expect me to believe it?”

Ok, be that way. “Faith, just a minute ago you told yourself that you didn’t know how to love. Then you asked yourself if love was supposed to hurt.”

She can’t even deny it now. She’s just staring now, a blank expression on her face. Suddenly, though, that blank stare is gone and replaced with a look of confusion, sadness, and disappointment.

Faith turns and starts to run, so I grab her shoulder, trying to stop her.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” Faith yells, practically shrieking. Her thoughts echoed her words and I knew then that she really didn’t want me touch her.

I let her go, and watch as she leaps over graves to get away. God, I know I’m upset now. I didn’t even watch the way her cute butt bounced when she ran away.

I lay in bed, wondering what I’m gonna do about Faith. I finished patrolling and walked home, the whole time thinking about what I was gonna do. I still can’t decide what I should do. My emotions are all so conflicted.

I want her. God, do I want her. My feelings have been changing since I first discovered how I felt about Faith. I had started questioning if my attraction to her went past just wanting to have sex with her. If I really did like her for who she is. Or was. Or at least, I thought she was different person now from the girl I used to know. But listening to her thoughts tonight makes me wonder if I ever really knew her at all.

Do I love her? I know I like her a lot, but is this love? I suddenly want to listen to that Whitesnake song. The feelings are deep. I know that. Could I really have felt as betrayed and hurt as I did if I didn’t love her. I mean, Faith and I really weren’t that close.

If I do love her, is it even worth it? She’s evil now. I’d be sleeping with the enemy. Or dating the enemy. Whatever, not the point. What would my friends say? What would Giles say? Would Xander want to kill me for having anything to do with Faith sexually after what she did to him? Oh God, would Mom have a heart attack over the whole girl thing? Is love enough to really overcome all of these things? It wasn’t enough with Angel.

At least he’s not an issue anymore. I know we’re not going anywhere. I can feel the distance growing between us, and I know that we’re close to breaking up. Will everyone react worse to my feeling for Faith than they did with Angel.

And what about Faith? She may love me, but does she want to risk the life that she’s given everything up for just to be with me? Would she come back to our side?

Ugh! I can’t think about this anymore. I need to sleep. I close my eyes, and hope that the PTB will send me a dream telling me what to do.


I have a free right now and I don’t know where any of my friends are. I haven’t seen anyone, and it’s getting frustrating. Ooh! There’s Willow. I walk up to her and put my arm around her to make sure I can still read thoughts. I hold her, and hold her, and the only thoughts in my head are my own. Dammit! It’s gone. This sucks. Willow’s giving me a weird look and I think she may be getting suspicions that I want her, considering all the touching- of-Wills that I’ve been doing lately. I let go of her, hoping that’ll ease her mind. We walk over to the lounge and sit on one of the couches.

Willow starts babbling about something that Oz did, and while I may normally find it cute, it’s just boring me today. I let my mind wander to my Faith dilemma. What I need is some good advice from someone who can see the situation fairly, and not just jump to conclusions because it involves Faith. Yeah, I’m not gonna be finding that from anyone in the Scooby Gang. Everyone’s got some issues with her right now.

Maybe I should talk to Wills but not tell her who the whole thing involves. She won’t know what I’m talking about.

“Hey Wills,” I say, cutting her off. She looks a little annoyed that I interrupted her, but gives me a look that tells me to continue. “I have this friend.”

“You have this friend?” She asks skeptically.

“Yeah, a friend. My friend has recently been developing feeling for someone, but my friend doesn’t know what to do. You see, it would cause a lot of problems with my friend’s friends if my friend started seeing this person because my friend’s friends don’t like this person. Do you think that my friend, who really, really, really likes this person, should just go ahead with it regardless of what my friend’s friends say?” I finally finish, sucking in air. Maybe I shouldn’t have said all that in one sentence.

“Well,” Willow says, looking a little confused. “If I understood all of that right, then I think your friend should follow their heart. They should also know that their friends won’t abandon them, no matter what. If your friend’s friends stop talking to your friend over this, then they really aren’t your friend’s friends.”

Ok, I guess that settles it, then. I want to try. I need to talk with Faith, and tell her how I feel. After school, I’ll go beat up Willy or something and find out where she lives. God, I hope she wants me still after what happened last night.