This Place and Time

2 Weeks Earlier-

Angel sat on his chair, in his mansion, reading silently. He was still shaken by his confrontation with the first evil. Knowing that his guilt still had so much hold over him that he could be driven to suicide unsettled him, although, he figured he deserved to suffer. He should never forget the crimes he committed as Angelus. He deserved that the pain he caused others be returned to him ten fold.

He had fallen deep into his brooding thoughts when he finally heard a knock at his door. Finally breaking his concentration, he got up to answer the door. He couldn't think who would be visiting him, especially on Christmas. Buffy had gone home and decided to spend the rest of the day with Joyce. Christmas was about family, and Angel had none.

To his surprise, he opened the door to see Xander. God, I can't believe they need help fighting demons on Christmas,’ he thought.' Xander stared for a second before breaking yet another of Angel's speaking,"Hey deadboy, Merry Christmas."

Angel shook his head realizing that he was staring off into space,"Oh, Merry Christmas Xander."

Xander watched him carefully," May I come in?"

Angel took a moment to think about it before answering, "Sure, come in."

Xander walked into the main room and noticed things looked pretty empty. Pretty lonely looking and sad, once he thought about it. But he came here with a mission, and he intended to complete it.

"Can I help you with anything, Xander?"

Maybe there was trouble. Xander looked a bit messy. His hair wasn't very well kept and he looked a bit tired and agitated. Angel stared at the boy wondering what possible reason he could have for being here. After all he and Xander really didn't care for one other. Xander's jealousy toward the souled vampire for taking Buffy had ruined any chance of friendship they could have had.

Xander looked at him for a second. He was a bit nervous about what he came here to do. He knew Angel didn't like him. Plus he felt exhausted from having slept in the backyard then having it snow on him. But it was Christmas after all, and nobody deserved to be
alone.

With that in mind, Xander reached into the heavy coat he wore, to shield from the snow, and pulled out a neatly wrapped blue box with a red bow.

"Um. I just wanted to. Um. Give you this. It's not much. But I was thinking, it is Christmas, good will toward man and, uh, I know you don't like me... and ...I, just kinda wanted to bury the hatchet." He stopped babbling long enough to hand the box over to Angel. "Here."

Angel didn't know what to say. Here was Xander Harris standing before him offering him a gift. Xander Harris who hated him, who would like nothing more than to see Angel's dust breeze in the wind. The same Xander Harris who could never see past the demon in Angel. This was beyond bizarre. He was actually willing to forget the past. Angel thought it was probably more than he deserved, but he stepped forward and took the box.

"Thank you, " Angel said in all sincerity.

"Go on open it, it is for you after all Deadboy," Xander said anxiously.

"Can you please not call me that," Angel said coldly. He hated that name. Ever since Xander started calling him that he wanted nothing more than to pound his face into the ground.

"Oh, um, I'm sorry."

'Stupid Xander, you just messed up yet another plan. I can't believe I spent time practicing this, trying to finally make right and I go and blow it. Just great.'

While Xander sunk deep into self loathing, Angel opened his gift. He didn't know what to say to the boy. Inside were two delicately sculpted wooden stake , a silver dagger with a hawk engraved at the bottom of the blade, that looked almost angelic, and a framed picture of the Scoobies outside in the sunlight. It was a place he could never be, with people that he considered his friends. He stood staring at the contents while Xander finally broke the awkward silence.

"Uh, hey. I don't want you to think I have some alternate motives with giving you weapons. It’s just to help with patrolling. The dagger I found at this antique shop, got a really good deal on it. As for the picture, it would have been nice if I could have found one with everyone plus you, but I had to go with the next best thing. I hope you’re not mad you’re not in it, but I just thought that, you know, maybe now you have something to lighten up this place. It's pretty dark and musty in here, perfect for brooding I guess. And...Well.. That's it I suppose. I can leave now if you want?"

After more of Xander's babbling, Angel looked up. He could tell Xander had put more thought into the gift than he was letting on. He felt his stomach clench a little. This was new, this was acceptance. Maybe even a little bit of forgiveness?

"Uh, I guess that's a yes. I'll be on my way then. Merry Christmas by the way," Xander made his way to the door when a hand shoot out and tugged on his shoulder.

"Wait, Xander. You can stay. I didn't mean to stare. This is just a little much to take in."

Xander nodded.

"A few weeks ago, you wanted me dead."

Xander fidgeted, "Well, yeah."

"Then why?" Angel asked.

"Because it's Christmas, Angel. Nobody deserves to be alone on Christmas. Despite what you might think, that includes even you."

Another shocking statement that came from Xander. Angel stood speechless once more.

"You know, I tried to help Buffy save you from that evil spirit thing. You had us all worried. It is the season of giving. So I came to offer my apology and my admission that I was a complete ass for treating like I did. I never gave you a chance, and I am sorry. Although don't think for a second that I take anything back for what
I did when you were Angelus."

Although Xander was here to apologize, he wasn't ready to admit to the his betrayal when he lied to Buffy about the message from Willow. Maybe it was jealousy, maybe he just hated Angelus enough to want him to suffer. The only thing he was sure of was that he wasn't ready yet to face Angel and tell him that he could possibly be to blame for all the horrors that Angel had to suffer in hell. He didn't know if he could ever make up for
it, but he could start somewhere.

"Anything I said then or did I refuse to take back. But if what Buffy and the others told me was true, then you’re not really him. He might be in there, but I'm willing to look past that. And maybe if we aren't friends, Angel, at least we won't be enemies anymore."

Angel considered the statement. Maybe friendship wasn't in the near future. He had to be honest and say it probably wasn't. They had been through too much hatred to just forget
instantly and attempt to be friends, but he was willing to try.

"Thank you, Xander," Angel said.

"No problem De....Angel. I'll just be going now. I have other things to do today. But I could stop by later maybe and keep you company?"

"Uh, Sure."

With that Xander walked out of the door leaving Angel still in a bit of shock. 'Xander Harris actually apologizing to me. I never thought I'd see the day.'

A small smile on his face, Angel, gently shut the door.