Love Remember Me

It was a little over two months later. Buffy stood in the same bathroom, wearing the same robe. In her hand was a pregnancy test, its two lines bold and clear in the answer window.

“No way.” Buffy put the stick down and looked at the directions again.

“When there are two lines present in the test window you are pregnant. If one line then not pregnant,” Buffy read aloud. She glanced back down at the counter top where the test was laying. The two lines were still there and if possible they got even darker.

“NO WAY!” she screamed knocking the test and the directions into the trash. She went to the door to open it and ended up slumping against it and sliding down to the ground.

“Tell me you love me.”

“I love you. You know I do,” Spike replied, his face light with love.

“Tell me you want me.” Buffy took a step closer to Spike.

“I always want you,” he breathed. “In point of fact..”

“Shut up.” Buffy looked at him and then grabbed him, kissing him deeply. Spike pushed her down on the sarcophagus and got on top of her. His lips and body telling her what words could not.

“What am I going to do now?” She said as she hugged her knees to her chest.


*~*

“I’ll just come right out and tell them. It won’t be as bad as I think. They are my friends, they love me. It can only get better,” Buffy was telling herself as she walked through the door of the Magic Box. She walked inside the room and down the step coming to halt in front of the table.

“Ok guys what I have to say can and will be shocking. But just know I’m alone in this and I need your help.” Buffy looked up and saw her friends and sister staring at her.

“What’s up Buff?” Xander asked. The others looked at him and nodded turning their attention back to the blond haired slayer.

“I’m pregnant.”

“What?” they all yelled. Xander fainted.

“Xander?” Willow asked as she crouched down over him. The rest of the scoobies crowded around.

“Oh for Christ’s sake just slap him,” Anya said getting on her knees and slapping Xander hard across the face.

“Ow!” Xander cried opening his eyes. “I thought we weren’t gonna do the slapping anymore Anya.” Xander looked at Anya whose face was red with anger.

“What happened? Cuz all of sudden I feel very weird. Was it a dream? Did I just dream Buffy said she was pregnant? Am I going crazy?” Xander asked getting up and looking confused.

“Xander I am pregnant.” Buffy rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips.

Xander sent shocked eyes her way.

“Buffy do you know who the father is?” Tara’s quick voice asked her.

“It’s Spike’s,” she said receiving all sets of eyes on her again.

“How can that be? He’s a vampire. Can’t get pregnant from a vampire,” Willow rambled.

“Willow this is the hellmouth not Disneyland. Anything is possible here. Besides he is the only man I have been with since I have been back,” Buffy said referring to her death, she silently sat down at the table next to her sister. Dawn reached out and smoothed Buffy’s hair.

“It’ll be ok Buffy. We’ll help and all take good care of the baby,” Dawn said positively smiling at her.

“Yeah Buffy we are all here for you. Anything you need we will are there,” Willow said looking around at everyone.

They all nodded at Buffy and smiled.

“Does Spike know?” Xander asked.

“No.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“How would I do that Xander? I don’t know where he is.”

“We could do a locating spell,” Willow chimed in.

Buffy shook her head. “No. Things were not good when he left. Don’t make him come back. He will when he is ready.”

If at all, Buffy thought.


*~*

It was hard in the months that followed the news of Buffy’s pregnancy and the disappearance of Spike. Buffy’s friends really rallied around her and helped with everything. Dawn took Buffy baby clothes shopping. Willow and Tara cast spells around her to keep the baby safe as she continued to slay. Xander attended the Lamaze classes as her coach and built her baby furniture for her. Her father even helped out by sending her and Dawn money each month. Which was a shock and surprise to both the Summers girls, Buffy didn’t want to take it but knew there was no other way. No one would hire a woman who was far into her pregnancy.

Giles was called soon after she found out how far along she was in her pregnancy. They asked him questions about how could a vampire get someone pregnant. Giles did some research and told them this just happened. There wasn’t a prophecy or anything on it. That it was just meant to be. The moon and planets had aligned in the right positions making it possible for the vampire to be able to produce children. Buffy calmed down after that, knowing she didn’t need to worry about her child being a demon or anything of the sort.

When she was asked who the father of her baby was she would say his name is William and leave it at that. Just William and that he had gone away and she didn’t know where he was. When they asked if he knew about her baby she would say no, because if Spike had found out before he left, he never would have left at all.

She had a lot of time to think while she was pregnant. She found herself contemplating a lot while on patrol or sitting up late at night with her cravings and insomnia. She began to understand why things happened the way they did the last time she saw Spike. She understood it wasn’t him that made him do what he attempted to do. She understood he didn’t know what he was doing, that he was running on pure desperation. That he loved her so greatly and so intensely that it was overwhelming.

She didn’t forgive him for trying what he did but now knew why it occurred. She also realized that he was right. She did love him. She was numb and in pain from being back on this earth after she had known the love and comfort of being in heaven. What was amazing still was that he, Spike, a vampire, was the only one she could even stand to be around. He was the only one who could make her feel.

She would catch herself talking to her stomach and telling her baby all about it’s father. That even though he wasn’t with them, that he loved them very much. She had no idea if or when Spike was coming back but she dreamt of him often. He was always apologizing about what happened and was full of remorse. Buffy would welcome him in the house with a nod and a smile that told him she knew and that she understood him.