November Rain

“Spike?” She called knocking on the door to his crypt. Receiving no answer she gently pushed open the door. He was sitting on his chair staring at the blank TV screen. “Hey…sorry for barging in…you didn’t answer.”

“Sorry about that Slayer…don’t feel much like company right now.” He said softly. Buffy was stunned. He hadn’t called her slayer or refused her company in a long time.

“Oh…do you want me to leave?” She asked taking a few steps back towards the door, feelings hurt by his words she forgot the reason she came to find him.

“Doesn’t matter what I want does it?” He ran his hand through his hair, refusing to look at her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asked, walking around to the front of his chair so she could face him. .

“Nothin’. Not a bleeding thing. Did you stop by for a reason? Or got an ictch you need scratchin’?” Spike asked, still refusing to meet her eyes.

“What’s wrong Spike?” She asked kneeling in front of him and resting her palms on his knees.

He looked up, startled at her gentle touching. Nothing with Buffy was ever gentle. She was always rough with him. She wasn’t ever nice to him, so her asking him that was monumental to him. “Didn’t know you cared.” He couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Buffy felt tears well up in her eyes. She closed them and sighed. “I know. I…I’m sorry Spike…” She opened them again to gaze into his pools of liquid blue. “I do care though, I want you to know that…I just…realized how I’ve been treating you…I want it to stop…”

Spike felt as if she had thrown holy water against him. He felt tears stinging his eyes but wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of seeing them fall. He stood up suddenly and pushed her roughly away. “I’ve heard this tune before Luv. Got the sheet music. Doesn’t change what you want.” He grabbed her arms roughly and pulled her against himself. Leaning down he kissed her forcefully. Running one hand up into her hair he pressed his mouth harder to hers, the other hand wrapped around her waist pulling her closer.

She tried to pull back. He pushed harder. Forcing her up against the cold wall of his crypt he licked up her jawline and took her earlobe into his ear.

She could taste the blood on her mouth from the force of the kiss. Buffy knew exactly what this was about. She could feel him pressed up against her most intimate parts, and he wasn’t hard. He couldn’t get hard when he knew he was hurting her.

“Spike stop.” She whispered. Her arms came up around him. She heard his choked sob.

“Buffy…Oh…god I’m sorry…I didn’t mean…I…”

“Spike…look at me…please…” She was using the same whispering tone. She could feel his body trembling against hers.

“Don’t please don’t…I love you so much…I can’t…I couldn’t take it if you left me…please luv.” He hadn’t lifted his head.

“Is this what you really want Spike? Me treating you badly and you letting me?”

“Anything…I’d do anything…I’ll let you…”

“No.” She spoke softly but firmly.

“Wh… Please luv…” He had his head buried against her neck. “Stake me? Will you? I know you hate me…”

“Look at me.”

He shook his head slightly, not moving it from it’s spot, nestled against her. “Can’t.” It was a whisper.

“Spike…I don’t want to break up with you.” She said softly, stroking the back of his head gently.

His head whipped up so fast she was sure he was going to get whiplash. Ice blue eyes full of fiery passion gazed intently into hers. “What did you just say?” He asked fearful he had misheard her.

“I said I don’t want to break up with you.” She smiled. “I want to…Spike I want us to have a real chance…it’s going to be hard. I don’t know if any of them will accept it…but if they don’t, we’ll just take Dawn and move. Faith is going to be getting out of jail soon, so if we can just wait until then, deal with it until then…”

“You’d leave Sunnyhell with me?” He asked. He was trembling again. This time with relief.

“The last few nights…when you’ve been outside my window and not come in, I’ve had a lot of time to think. I’ve discovered a few things.” She pulled him over to the couch and sat. Spike sat beside her. Buffy turned to him and lifted one of her legs over one of his so it rested there gently.

She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. Raising her hand she placed it gently against his cheek. “I love you.” She could see the shock on his face.

“You…” Spike couldn’t speak.

“Love you. Yes. I’ve treated you really badly Spike, and for that I am truly sorry. But I really want things to work between us. No matter what I’ve done or said you’ve never left me.”

“Could never leave you baby…” Spike whispered kissing her softly. “Love you so much…”

She pulled back from the kiss and looked into his eyes. “I love you too.”

“Feels like a dream…” He murmured leaning in to kiss her again.

“It’s not Spike. It’s real. Why don’t we go to the bronze…that’s where the gang is…I don’t want to waste anymore time. I want to tell them all right now.”

“Let’s get going then pet.”

“One thing…” He raised an eyebrow and she continued. “Could you try not to gloat? I mean Xander’s gonna be seriously pissed…”

“Anything for you my golden goddess.” Spike whispered pulling her against his chest. “If that’s all you’re askin’ is for me to play nice with your mates…I can do that…I can do anything for you.”

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End chapter TWO