Freakin Christmas

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Disclaimer and all that other stuff - See part one

Part 2

Faith’s POV

Isn’t that sweet? Coming by to invite me to the party as an afterthought. She forgot. Not that I’m surprised. Nothing B does ever surprises me. At least she tries. I means that’s more that she used to do. And why am I sitting here taking up for her? Stupid holidays, making me all mushy.

I swear to god, I almost started crying. I mean, what the holy fuck? I wanted to cry. I haven’t wanted to cry since I was like…well I can’t remember exactly but it’s been a long fucking time. See why I am not a big fan of Christmas?

I should’ve have given her the present. She wanted it. She was like a little kid, bouncing all around. I love it when she gets excited. Not much seems to excite her since Mrs. Summer’s…all hell I feel like a heel. I’m sitting here stirring in my own juices and she and Dawnie are spending their first Christmas without their mom. Why do I always have to be so selfish?

I ran my fingers over the gift. Like I said, I spent a lot of time picking out the perfect present for B. And just as many hours imagining her face when she opened it. I went from store to store, actually going to the mall (a horrible experience let me tell you) and roaming around for hours. I even ran into Anya there. Imagine trying to get out of that one.

I was walking out of the lingerie store (I know, I know, in my dreams) when I ran into her.

“Faith,” she said, rather loudly, “Faith. Hey it’s me. Faith”

Damn. “Umm, hey Anya. What’s up?”

She looked around me for a moment, “Are you alone?”

“Yeah?” This chick is weird.

“I wasn’t sure if it was you. You were actually in that store,” she said, pointing to the lingerie store I had tried unsuccessfully to sneak out of.

“Well, yeah, I do wear underwear on occasion.”

“Yeah, well I thought that surely can’t be Faith. Maybe it is an alternate reality Faith. That thing is not uncommon here in Sunnydale. Alternate reality people. Of course, then you might be a vampire or something. I would be very afraid to fight you if you were a vampire. An evil Faith seems scary to me.” She paused for a moment, “Oh, wait, you were evil, weren’t you? I had forgotten. That was right after you slept with my Xander.”

Ok, I officially need a break, “Yep, I was evil. And I slept with Xander.” Do you know how many times we have actually gone through this, “and I don’t want to sleep with Xander again. I promise,” I said, holding up my hands.

“Well that’s good. As long as you are not buying sexy underthings for Xander.”

“Nope, Anya, not buying sexy underthings for anyone. Just browsing.”

She smiled, “that’s funny. You don’t seem like a browser. Did you steal something?”

Jesus Christ, this chick. “No, I did not steal anything. I was just looking.”

“Oh. You like sexy underwear.” She nodded to herself, “you would probably like Buffy in sexy underwear, wouldn’t you? You know she sleeps in those stupid cow pajamas, but I bet that is because she doesn’t have any sexy things. Maybe if you bought her some, she would wear them. Then you guys could finally have sex. I think that would make everyone happy.”

What the hell? “Umm, what are you talking about?”

“Oh, it’s okay Faith. I know that you have a crush on Buffy. It’s very obvious. I’m sure she would look quite nice in whatever you pick out,” she said, nodding towards the store.

“Ok, number one, like I said earlier, I also wear underwear and that’s why I was in there. Number two, I do not, and let me repeat that just so we’re clear, I do not have a crush on B. Understand?”

“I guess you’re right,” she said, looking a little thoughtful, “it really is more than a crush isn’t it?”

I nodded, “yeah, it’s …wait a minute. No, it’s not a crush, or anything else. B and I are just friends.”

She smiled a little, gathering her ten thousand bags, “Oh, right you don’t want anyone to know. This is nice that you and I share a secret. Of course, don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. It can be just between you and me. I am very good at keeping secrets.”

“There is no secret, Anya. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I was getting agitated.

She turned to go, “Right. Right,” she nodded, “I get it. We can’t talk about it in public.” She looked around the mall, “Of course you and Buffy are just friends,” she said incredibly loud. She turned back to me, “that good?”

“Arrgh.” I mumbled walking off.

I totally realize that the woman spent years as a demon, but still she was around humans, right? I mean, you think she could figure some things out.

“Don’t worry Faith,” she called after me, “your secret attraction to Buffy is safe with me.”

I swear to god, I think,she was actually screaming after me. I do know that Slayer speed accounts for something, and I was using all that I had to get the friggin hell away from her.

So I didn’t buy Buffy lingerie. Why would I do that? It’s not like I imagine her in a lacy red thong, or maybe black, or…like I said, I’m not imagining her in anything. Besides, Buffy is straight. Super duper arrow straight. I don’t think there is a person alive straighter than Buffy. Not that I care or anything. It’s just sort of obvious, you know?

So anyway, I walked around the mall for like hours. Trying my damndest to avoid Anya and find B a gift. And then I found it. It really was stupid of me not to think of it earlier. But sometimes, I admit it; I’m a little slow.

Not that I wanted her to have it now. I pictured giving it to her a thousand times. How her eyes would light up and she would be glowing. She actually glows when she’s happy. It’s the weirdest freakin shit I’ve ever seen. It’s like there is this light inside her or something. And then I don’t get invited to their stupid party or whatever, and you know what? I don’t care if she gets a gift or not. She’s probably got a hundred anyway. They probably shower her with presents, since she’s so fucking special.

I really wish I had bought myself something. I started to. I’m telling you, I look really hot in sexy lingerie myself. But, I don’t know, it’s seems sort of pathetic buying yourself something for Christmas. Then again, it probably would have been the only gift I would have gotten. So, stupid me.


Buffy’s POV


I think I stood on her doorstep for ten minutes at least. I even entertained the thought, at one point, of actually jumping her when she came out of the apartment. But she never came out. I started to knock again. I was close to begging. I can’t believe she thinks we didn’t want her at the party.

Well, okay maybe some people would be uncomfortable with her there. Xander is still a little intimidated by her. And Willow, well she’s trying. Of course, Dawn loves her. And Tara loves everybody. And Anya. Anya seemed to hate her until about a week ago. Now she says there are best friends. That she and Faith share a secret, and that’s what best friends do. She seemed very happy with herself the other day at the Magic Shop.

“Hey Faith,” Anya said, when Faith walked in, “How is my best friend?”

Yeah, that sent me for a little loop. Best friend?

Faith looked at her kinda funny for a moment, and then a little shadow fell over her face, “I’m fine Anya.” She walked a little closer to her, “How are you?”

If I hadn’t been mistaken, I would have thought that Faith looked a little threateningly at the girl behind the counter.

Of course, Anya was oblivious, “Oh, good, good Faith. I am doing wonderful. I was just telling the gang, how you and I are friends. That we share a wonderful secret between girls.”

Faith looked like she was about to bolt. I thought it was weird. What secret were they sharing? When are they together anyway? Why, out of all people, did Faith choose to confide in Anya, for god’s sake?

Faith smiled around the room, before cutting her eyes at Anya, “so guys,” she said, ignoring the ex-demon, “what’s up?”

Anya cut in, “Oh right, right. I forgot. We are not supposed to talk about having a secret or what it is. I’m sorry. Sometimes all of these little idiosyncrasies you people have gets confusing. Like you obviously are attracted to someone, but you don’t tell them. I don’t understand why that is. It’s strange how humans never say what they are feeling.”

Faith looked like she was about to revert back to old ways, and Anya took notice, “but hey,” she said lightly, shutting the cash register, “I guess I will just have to learn.”

Faith took a deep breath. What the hell is Anya talking about, I wondered. Why does she share a confidence with Faith? Who has feelings? Does Faith have feelings? What kind of feelings is she having? I wonder who it is? Why is Faith having feelings about someone, and why the hell did she tell Anya and not me? Why were they staring at me?

“Umm, Buffy,” Willow said, waving her hand in front of my face, “meeting, remember?”

“Oh yeah. Right. Meeting.” I sat down.

I don’t remember much else about the meeting because all I could think of was Faith and her feelings for whoever the hell they’re for. Everyone was shifting around in their seats. Probably trying to figure out what the heck Anya was talking about. Faith looked around the room about a thousand times and when I tried talking to her she responded with one of her many grunts. We finally just decided to end the meeting early cause I think everyone but Anya got a little uncomfortable. And of course, Faith high-tailed it out of there as soon as it was over. Probably going to meet whatever goodie she was crushing on.

I thought about knocking on the door again. I wanted to ask her who she ‘had feelings for’? Did they invite her to Christmas dinner like me? Why didn’t she want to come? I told her I was sorry. What was she doing in there? I wonder if the gang would notice if I was late?

Oh well, I thought. I’ve got to get home. Dawn probably wanted to open her presents. She was so excited when she thought that Faith was coming. She got her a pair of earrings. It took her like ten forevers to pick them out. But she was really proud of them. I think Faith would like them to. She’s not much for jewelry, but still…she’d love anything Dawn gave her. And I had a gift for her too. I drove all the way to L.A. to get it. I guessed it didn’t really matter now though.

I tried to gaze in the window again. She was standing at the table, running her hand over one of the presents. I wished I could see her face. Dammit Faith! Come outside! Hell, even if she did I knew I couldn’t make her come with me. I just wish… I don’t know what I wish anymore. I hate Christmas.