Nine Months Later

Willow’s eyes widened with shock and she stepped back, unable to breathe. Shaking, she turned to run, and the smell of her fear hit Spike hard. He moved swiftly to block her path, reaching out to catch her when she fell backwards trying to get away from him.

“Calm down, Pet.” Spike whispered. Willow felt tears begin to stream from her eyes as she tried to break free of Spike’s grasp. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn‘t breathe!! She had to get away!

“Calm down or you’ll hurt the baby.” Spike warned. “I’m not gonna hurt you…just wanna talk, okay?”

Willow didn’t listen, the need to escape dominating her every thought. Spike sighed and yanked her into the alley, holding her against the wall, more comfortingly than threatening, one hand moving from restraining her to smooth away the hair that had matted to her face with her tears. “Listen to me. I’m not going to hurt you. I want to talk. Will you stop it and listen?” Too afraid to truly think and out of options, Willow nodded, sniffing back tears.

“Right…I only came back so I could get you to do me a spell for Dru. She left me... But I heard about you being knocked up and all, and now I wanna talk.” Willow stood there, backing into the wall as far as she could go, tears still rolling from her eyes, still wide with fear.

“Okay, you’re scared of me. I get that, pet. But it weren’t my fault you know. I only did it ‘cause Angelus is a bastard when he’s angry. Didn’t mean to hurt you, kay? But you’re pregnant…” Willow nodded hesitantly. “And it’s gotta be mine or Angelus’, right?” Willow nodded again.

“Now, you see why I can’t leave, right, sweetheart? I have to know if it’s mine or not. Kinda important to me.” Willow sniffed and nodded.

“Ah, good girl. You’re getting it. So, I’m gonna stick around for a bit. Promise I won’t go anywhere near your mates…just gonna wait round…make sure the kids not mine.” Spike said. Willow frowned a little at him, but nodded in agreement.

“What?” Spike asked. Willow hesitated before attempting speech.

“Why…the baby…?”

“Just wanna know, is all.” Spike lied. “’Sides, it’s pissing Peaches off no end.”

“Angel?”

“Yup. He wants me to stay away. Truth is, he’s more dangerous to you than me any day.” Spike laughed.

Willow didn’t look so sure.

“H…he has a soul.”

Spike snorted. “As long as it bloody well lasts this time. Trust me Pet, Angel’s a twat. You deserve better than that. Someone who’ll look after ya, without losing his soul every five minutes.”

“I…I don’t…like Angel…like that.” Willow whispered.

“Yeah? Good for you, Pet. Nice to see someone with taste.” Spike smiled, still carefully running his fingers through the hair nearest her face. “So, you gonna be okay? You want me to walk you home or something?”

Willow shook her head carefully. She still expected him to explode or kill her…or something Spike. He was acting so strange.

“Right…but I’m gonna walk you home anyway. I can stay back if ya want me to?” Willow thought for a moment.

“I…don’t mind.”

Spike nodded. “Yeah…right. I’ll walk with ya. Make sure nothing attacks ya.” Willow attempted a smile, pitiful as it was, before following him home; constantly tense, expecting him to hurt her…to try something. Why she was even walking with him, she had no idea. She put it down to the intense fear she had of what he’d do if she argued with him. But for some bizarre reason, something in his words had been honest and she almost trusted him. Not completely, but something told her he was serious about protecting her…and the baby. For the first time, Willow began to think about what would happen if the baby was indeed Spike’s.

*****

“’Ere ya go Pet, home sweet home, aye? You gonna be alright now?” Willow nodded awkwardly. Spike went to walk away, but turned at the last moment.

“You better not go out unescorted any more. What with all the demons…I’ll spread the word that you’re off limits. No one touches ya.” he grinned. Willow was a little surprised and was unsure what to say. This was one of the guys who raped her. Took away everything and threw her world into chaos and pain. And now he wanted to protect her.

“Th…thank you, Spike.” Willow stuttered. Spike nodded and walked away, satisfied that it had gone well. He had no intention of being known as a softie…but he’d do anything it took to protect the baby. To protect his baby.

Willow snuck back into bed, without waking Buffy or Xander up. Satisfied and tired, she let herself fall asleep, bracing herself for more nightmares.

*****

The next morning, Willow convinced Buffy and Xander to let her go to school. She’d had enough of sitting in her room being watched like some mental patient. At least if she was at school, she could do something constructive while being watched like some mental patient.

The moment she got there, however, she knew she’d made a big mistake. Every one looked at her…whispered about her…laughed about her. Everywhere she went, she couldn’t escape the constant silent mocking, quiet pity and whispered accusations.

“You’re paranoid, Wills. No one’s talking about you.” Xander told her.

Willow’s face hardened. “I’m not paranoid!”

“He didn’t mean that.” Buffy intervened, quickly. “You’re just a little worried, that’s all. No one knows.”

“They’re probably just wondering where you’ve been.” Xander said.

“Me? You think any of them would have noticed if I’d never come back? No, they know something. Maybe Larry…maybe he spread rumours about me.”

“Calm down.” Buffy said gently. “You wanna go home?”

“No…no, I just wanna be alone.” Willow said, heading for the library.

“Should we go with?” Xander asked.

“No, Giles is there, he’ll look after her. I don’t think she wants to be around us anymore either.” Buffy said sadly.

“She just needs time.” Xander repeated, for what had to be the fiftieth time in the last few days. Even he had begun wondering exactly who he was trying to convince of that fact.

“Yeah, but how much?”

*****
Willow POV
*****

Walking down the corridor towards the library, I can’t help but see things differently now. You see, the guy over there? Leaning next to the pretty blonde…he’s not just leaning anymore…he’s trapping her against the wall.

And the jock that keeps grabbing the cheerleader’s ass…he’s hurting her. She’s smiling like I am, to make it look like something different, but I know she wants him to go away.

But he won’t, honey.

It’s never that simple.

Nothing’s simple anymore and nothing’s good anymore. I feel like the whole world has changed. Maybe that or I have. I don’t know which is worse.

I go crazy every time I think of Spike. Knowing he’s so close. That he’s right around every corner. It doesn’t matter that it’s daylight, and a public place. I know he’s here, I know he’s waiting for me. I can feel it. And next time he catches me, he might not be so nice.

Cause nice isn’t what I deserve, is it?

He wasn’t supposed to come back…

Angel was supposed to leave.

But they stay… They stay to torture me that last little bit. To be a constant reminder of what they did to me…what I failed to stop them from doing to me.

Not that I could ever forget anyway. Buffy, Xander and Giles…they just won’t stop. I can’t talk to them…because they won’t let me forget.

It’s always a fucking sympathetic look or a ‘Are you sure you’re okay, Willow?’ and it’s driving me nuts! Insane! I know what’s going on. I think they’re all in this together. Angelus always was good at driving people insane.

Well it’s working now, you fucker...

Not to mention the fact, I know…I’m sure…that Spike and Angel watch me. Whenever they can… Always, always I feel their eyes on me and then I wonder if what Buffy and Xander say is true. Maybe I‘m just imagining it. Maybe I really am completely insane, and I‘m just hanging onto the last little bit I have, like maybe it‘ll actually make a difference in the long run.

But it won‘t.

I just feel eyes on me all the time. I’m like a caged animal. Pacing desperately the walls of cage, screaming and crying to be set free, only to be watched and pointed at.
‘Hey look Mommy, that Willow’s having a baby.’

And the baby. The baby. This thing growing inside of me. The thing I don’t like to think of.

Because I know.... that if for one second, just one second, if I allow myself to think of the baby…I mean, really think…I’ll break down.

How could I consider bringing something like this into the world? This horrible, horrible place. I’d be doing the baby a favour, to get rid of it now? But that’s not what the real problem is it, Willow?

You’re just being heartless again. All I can be is heartless. You’ve got to have love to have a heart, and you’ve got to faith, trust and hope to have love. I don’t have any of it anymore. Thanks to Angelus and Spike.

This whole thing is thanks to Angelus and Spike.

I can’t love it. Everything about this pregnancy is wrong and I’m beginning to resent my decision. I’m scared of what Spike really wants. There’s no way he could really want this baby…this is all…crazy. Spike wouldn’t…evil vampire, remember?

No…he must be doing this to hurt me. Maybe hurt the baby. How do I feel about that?

I have to tell Buffy he’s here.

I have to.

Just as soon as I work out why he’s here in the first place....

*****
Spike POV
*****

I hate this waiting. I’ve always hated waiting.

Angelus used to taunt me about it constantly. How his ‘boy’ had no patience.

Tosser…

Bloody suns always up when I need to be out there. Always need to be out there.
Always. Can’t stand the waiting anymore…for sundown…to see Willow…to find out about the baby.

I know it’s more likely to be my arse of a Sire’s, that‘s just how things work out, you know? But it’s not like you get this chance every day, ya know?

I just want…it. Whatever it bloody well is…it could be mine. Mine. Angelus took that chance away from me a long time ago…an’ now I got it back. And I ain’t letting him or the slayer or anyone else take that away from me. Not even Willow.

The look in her eyes when she saw me…I’ve seen that a lot in people’s eyes. Cold and animal fear, when the mortal mind shuts down and the adrenaline shoots into the bloodstream, the whole body goes in Fight or Flight, and thought falls away, just leaves instinct. Pure animal instinct. Fight or run.

And mostly I don’t care, but how am I supposed to get into her good books when she looks at me like I’m gonna hurt her? Was never gonna hurt her.

Might have eaten her one-day…but no definite plans or anything. She just doesn’t get that it was Angelus who did all this…not me. I just did as I’m told. A rare occasion for me, yeah…but she don’t know the half of it.

Bastard had done some pretty sadistic things to me the day before…I wasn’t gonna disobey him after that. I just gotta work on her, is all. Gotta show her that I’m serious. That I want her and the baby safe. I’ll do something big…save her life or something. That’s it. Find some way to make her trust me, so she’ll stop looking at me like I’m planning on gutting her and making bloody Foetus Stew.

Yeah…just as long as Buffy isn’t around. She thinks that, she does, that I’m here to hurt her. She’s probably gonna tell the Slayer. Just my fucking luck. Why the hell don’t these things work out the way they should? The witch should have cast that spell on Dru, and the Slayer should have staked Angelus a long bloody time ago, but things never work out for me the way they should. It’s a fucking rule somewhere in the book, don’t ask me where....

Always, always wanted a baby. Mum railed at me for the kid. For a good wife, and lots of little grandchildren she could spoil absolutely rotten. I’ve spent almost 2 centuries not carin’ about that anymore, but I got my chance back now. I’m gonna have that little baby, maybe a son.

Yeah, could teach him all about football, rugby... He’d be strong, like me, wiry and just as smart assed. Quick as the devil and just as conniving. Take him to see dog races and games of all sorts... Nevermind the bloody sun... I’ll find my way around that somehow.. Nothin’ I wouldn’t do for my little boy...

Maybe it’s a girl. She’d be spoiled worse than Dru herself she would... Get everything she wanted. All the dolls, the dresses, the candy. And be a hell of a lot smarter than Dru ever would be. I can see her, too. She’d have my eyes and Willow’s hair. She’d be the smartest little thing in all of Sunnydale. She’d have every male in the city at her feet, demon or human. Doesn’t matter... That my little girl would...

I want it. I do. I want the chance back, and I want my child, and I’m gonna get to her somehow... Don’t know how I am. There’s gotta be somehow that I can’t get back in there. Yeah fucking right, idiot, like you were ever there to begin with.

I’ll find a way though... Don’t doubt me there...

I’ll find some bleedin’ way to get into the fold, to gain her trust.

Might even have to work with the soddin’ slayer... Have to though.

Don’t fancy getting staked for all my efforts.

*****
Angel POV
*****

I know he’s following her, but what can I do?

I can’t go near her…I’m scared to. We all know what happened the last time I so smartly revealed myself to her.

I caused her suicide attempt.

She did it because I let her catch me outside…and I sat there, knowing full well everything she said…the smiles she forced, weren’t real.

I let her hide her emotions…when rightly, I should have encouraged her to do what Buffy and Xander had the guts to do…what Spike had the guts to do.

Do you know how much worse it makes it that I brought Spike into this?

I hate him…everything he’s become…but he was my responsibility, my creation and I made him join in.

He blamed me for it and he was right. I’m the one who raped Willow. Soul or not…I can’t forget that. And the only thing stopping from greeting the sun right now is the baby inside her…knowing it may be mine.

And her…I have to protect Willow. I’ll do anything to make this right…to earn redemption.

A redemption I no longer deserve…if I ever did. All this and I’m not even thinking of Buffy…not that I don’t love her anymore…I do…but I can’t think of her right now…of me even.

It’s all got to be for Willow. To protect her. I can’t leave her alone.

Even if she can’t stand to be near me.

*****

Buffy waited anxiously for Willow outside the doctors. She hated hospitals. They made her fidgety. All too sanitary and impersonal for her. Even doctor’s offices, trying to be so professional. It was just too impersonal for a place where people would probably end up dying.

Willow, in a moment of emotional need had begged Buffy to go with her to the doctors, but had requested that she not to go inside. Buffy hated having to wait for her best friend, not knowing what was going on. Something had been bothering Willow...

‘Well, duh, Buffy,’ she thought. ‘Obviously there’s something bothering her. Her world’s fallen apart around her ears and there’s nothing she can do about it.’ There was nothing any of them could do about it, and that was what got her.

Normally, she could just go and slay the thing that was the matter, but what could she do now? This was something even she couldn’t touch....

What was she doing in there? She really had been in there a long time.

“Buffy.”

“Hey, how did it go?” Buffy asked quickly, looking up and dragging herself out of her thoughts. She immediately noticed the red rings around Willow’s eyes and frowned.

“What happened?”

“I talked…with the nurse. I didn’t mean to…she just said something and I…I think she knew what I was talking about. She said I should go talk to someone.” Willow explained awkwardly, glancing down at her hands where she stood.

Buffy paled. “You…talked to the nurse?” She didn’t even try to hide the hurt in her voice. Willow looked away.

“I’m going to see someone. I can’t really explain why right now, but it has to be someone I don’t know…I just think it would be easier.”

Buffy nodded, keeping her pain back. So she wasn’t good enough? Willow had to go and talk to a stranger?

“Yeah, good idea...”

“You’re not mad?” Willow asked

“No…not mad. I’m fine. It’s a good idea.” Buffy forced a smile that felt more like a sneer and walked Willow out of the doctor’s office.

*****

Willow had stayed indoors since her meeting with Spike. It was less abject terror and more…anticipation. The idea of not knowing what he’d do next scared her. With the added feeling of being watched constantly, she thought it best to hide away from them all. But now she had no choice. She’d stayed too long at the magic shop, looking at spell books and now she was walking alone.

In the dark.

She knew someone was following her, so she decided to make her way to the Bronze.
‘Stay with people, they’ll keep you safe. Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Willow.’

She picked up the pace, glancing nervously behind her. She found herself almost wishing it was Angel or Spike. At least then she knew what to expect.

“Hello beautiful.” The man she ran into, having stepped out from behind a van, was most definitely not Angel or Spike. Willow stumbled backwards, finding that trying to decide whether to run or fight was a much harder process when a vampire was standing only two meters away.

“When you due?” He whispered, grinning past fangs and stalking forward. “I just love babies…so…delicious.”

He laughed and lunged for her.

Willow screamed and ran; already knowing she wouldn’t get far but knew she had to try. When his arm wrapped around her neck, she screamed again, trying to kick back.

“Now, now, don’t be like that. You’re putting me off my food.” He exclaimed gleefully, wrestling her into a position she couldn‘t fight from.

She heard the distinct folding sound of leather, and suddenly the vampire was no longer there.

“How about I put you off your food.” Spike said, landing a kick to the vampire’s stomach, knocking him farther away from Willow. “Now you’re off.” He said simply, yellow eyes narrowing at the prone form of the younger vampire.

“Hey…Spike…I didn’t mean to…I didn’t know this was the one…I’m, I’m sorry!” The vampire mumbled, throwing in bits and pieces of nervous laughter to accent his words, picking himself off the concrete.

“If the lady wasn’t present, you’d be in a condition worse than dust. Now get out of here!” Spike yelled.

Willow tried to stop sobbing, but she couldn’t calm herself down. She backed away from Spike, before collapsing against the wall. She sat with her back against the stone wall of the bank; her knees tucked as tight against her growing belly as she could manage, tears streaming down her face.

“Hey…come on. Don’t cry.” Spike complained. “I saved your life didn’t I?”

Willow sniffed and nodded. Couldn’t piss the dangerous vampire off, could she?

“No one’s gonna hurt ya, sweetling. Told ‘em all to back off. Granted some of ‘em are stupid little bastards, but I think that one got the message.” Spike knelt down beside her. “Shouldn’t be out at night, Pet. You know that.”

“I…just…” Willow struggled to gain control of her voice. “Was an accident.” Spike nodded.

“S’okay, pet, Spike’s gotcha.” He took her hand and helped her back up. “I’m gonna walk ya home again. Be on the safe side.”

She nodded, too shocked to argue.

Too afraid to protest.

Too tired to know better.

*****

Angel knocked on the door, fully prepared to have to run for his life. He waited patiently for Buffy to answer the door. He had no choice. There was no way he could do it himself; he was as bad as Spike in a way. As much to blame. More so… But if Buffy were to accidentally find out… The door swung open and cold eyes met his.

“What do you want?”

“Buffy, I…”

“I thought we made it clear…how many times…?”

“It’s about Spike.” Angel interrupted.

“Spike?” Buffy asked.

“He’s back in Sunnydale.” Angel told her. “And he’s following Willow around.”

“What?” Buffy paled. “Xander!”

Xander was at the door in seconds, a crossbow in hand, pointing directly at Angel.

“Can I kill him?”

“I can take you to Spike.” Angel said. “He’s dangerous Buffy, you have to stop him.”

“He’s your childe, why can’t you deal with him?” Buffy asked.

“He’s around Willow all the time... I don’t want to upset her anymore.” Angel lied.

Buffy continued to glare at him before looking at Xander.

“Get some stakes, Xan, we’re going on a Spike hunt.”

*****

“How things going then…with the baby I mean?” Asked Spike.

Willow hesitated. “Fine.”

“You see it yet? On the screen thing?”

“No.” Willow replied.

“Listen Pet, I know you hate me, but ya gotta believe that it wasn’t my fault.” Spike protested.

Willow felt her stomach tighten and clenched her jaw.

“I was never gonna hurt ya, I wanted you to do a spell for me. Heard you could. Angelus…he’s the bastard you gotta hate.” Spike told her.

Willow continued walking, trying to concentrate on anything but his vo His His words. She felt her hands clench so tight blood appeared where here fingernails had dug in.

“Hey now, watch it Pet…make me hungry ya will.” Spike joked, taking her hands and removing the nails from the skin. He saw Willow’s wide-eyed expression and laughed.

“Wow, where’s a sense of humour when you need one?” Willow looked away, holding onto her anger as she did. Spike cocked his head; he saw the rage in her eyes. “Willow. Look at me.” She turned back and looked into his eyes, biting back all the emotion that it brought.

“Let it out, luv.” He whispered, and Willow frowned.

“Let it out. Come on…I ain’t gonna fight back.” Spike said softly. “Make ya feel better, honest.”

She stared back blankly. Spike sighed.

“You remember what me and Angelus did? Yeah? Well, let me know about it. Stop hiding it or your gonna go crazy.”

Willow felt tears in her eyes but still refused to do anything.

“We raped you and knocked you up, so act like it!” Spike yelled.

Willow snapped and before she could stop herself her fist connected with Spike’s jaw, knocking him back with the force of the blow.

“That’s it…” Spike said, forcing himself not to nurse his painful face. Willow finally let the tears fall and began to scream as she attacked him, smashing her fists into his chest and face. She lost herself in the anger, not seeing anything but her own pain, not even realizing they’d somehow ended up on the floor as her last ounce of strength was used to hit his chest pathetically. His arms enveloped her, holding her as she cried in his arms again.

*****

Buffy and Xander walked together, keeping away from Angel in a blatant effort to show him their complete lack of trust. He tried not to let it get to him though, after all, he was doing the right thing now. He was getting rid of Spike…something he should have done a long time ago.

They saw Spike and Willow on the ground in the middle of Willow’s road and Buffy and Xander began to run. Angel however, slipped into the night to watch the scene unfold.

“Get away from her.” Buffy hissed. A battered Spike stood up, still holding Willow and smirked at Buffy.

“Or what slayer? Gonna kill me?”

Willow sniffed back tears and went to speak but Xander interrupted her.

“Willow, are you okay?”

“Let her go and we end this…now.” Buffy hissed.

“I’m fine…” Willow began.

“Spike, you’re gonna pay for this.” Xander said, cutting Willow off mid-sentence.

“Xander…Buffy…”

“It’s okay Willow…” Buffy said comfortingly.

“Yeah…it’s okay, isn’t it Red? Everything’s just perfect. Are you people listening to a word she says?” Spike snapped, staring disbelievingly at them all.

“Spike…” Willow said. “It’s okay.”

“Is it? Cause the way I see it, they’re not listening to a thing you have to say.” Spike told her. “Now they’re just gonna stake me, not a bloody clue why I’m here, what I’m doing or what you want.”

“Angel may not have had the guts to do this, but we do, bleachboy, so let her go and we’ll show you how pissed off we are.” Xander growled.

“Angel? That pouf tell you I’m back? What, did you have to beat him up again just to get it out of him or did he come to you himself?”

“What?” Willow asked, staring hard at Buffy suddenly.

“He got what he deserved and so will you.” Buffy hissed.

“What did you do!?” Willow asked angrily.

“Don’t worry about it Willow…” Buffy said.

“Don’t you tell me what the fuck to worry about!” Willow yelled, pulling away from Spike and standing in front of him. “Listen to me and listen really hard. Stay the hell out of my life. Stay away from Angel and stay away from Spike. You haven’t listened to a word I’ve said and then you wonder why I won’t open up to you? Don’t think I didn’t notice it, Buffy. You’re FINE? Spike has been a better friend than you ever have been!”

“Willow, I was just trying to help.” Buffy said, fighting back tears at Willow’s harsh words.

“I don’t want that kind of help.” Willow hissed back. “So stay away from me.”

Buffy just stared at Willow until Xander spoke up.

“Will please…he’s manipulating you…you can’t believe a word he says.”

She stiffened instantly, slowly turning to focus sad eyes on him. “Xander, please don’t make me hate...”...” Willow pleaded.

Xander swallowed and nodded.

“Fine. Come on.”

Buffy waited a second, staring at her best friend as if she didn’t know her, then turned and walked away with Xander.

*****

The bus finally arrived in Sunnydale and a rather shabbily dressed man stepped off of it. His fellow passengers noted that he smelled slightly of whiskey, and that he had not spoken to anyone during the trip.

“Yep…right on time.” He muttered, starting off a familiar tune to whistle as he walked.

He had a souled vampire to find.

*****

He sat silently, staring with a sort of feigned, vague interest at his nails as he leaned back against the wall, one leg pulled toward his chest and the other lain before him.

“Who is this Spike everyone keeps talking about?” Sean asked casually. “Seems I’m the only one in the town who hasn’t had the pleasure.” He looked up from his hand, satisfied with the manicure he’d gotten out of the attendant before he’d snapped her neck.

“He’s been around a year or so.” Jack replied, with the insipid over eagerness of all younger minions. “Word is, he’s got the vampire community doing as he says. Protecting a pregnant human of all things.”

Sean laughed. “A vampire protecting a human…that’s new.”

“Not here it ain’t.” he said excitedly. “Another vampire here, used to be called Angelus…just goes by Angel now. He’s been protecting the slayer a while. Except when he went evil again for a while not so long ago…something to do with a soul.”

The reaction was instantaneous and almost indiscernible. Sean suddenly reached out and grabbed the other vampire’s shirt to drag him forward and into his face. “Angelus? Here? You’re telling me Angelus helps slayer’s now?”

Jack nodded, choking uselessly.

“It’s what I heard.”

“And you didn’t tell me this, ”
”

“I…didn’t think…”

“You never do…that’s why you’re the useless fuck and I’m the Master.” Sean hissed, shoving him backwards again. “And this.... this Spike…he’s protecting a pregnant girl.”

“I think so.” Jack said, carefully backing away, hand going to his bruised throat.

“Why don’t you find out?” Sean asked.

“Why’s this bother you anyway?” Jack kept his distance as he asked.

“Do you ever listen to a Goddamned thing I tell you?” Sean asked. “We can’t have vampire’s showing us up like this. Especially.... family.”

“Family?” Jack asked.

“I’ve got a bit of history with Angelus…and I won’t have him messin’ up the family name.” Sean muttered. “Sire or not, he won’t be protecting slayer’s much longer.”

*****

“Look, you’re gonna have to invite me in.” Spike pointed out, crossing his arms across his chest as he looked at her. “I can’t leave ya like this. I ain’t havin’ you top yourself after all this. Come on…I ain’t gonna do anything.”

“You can’t come in here…” Willow said softly. “Please just leave me alone.”

“Look.” Spike said, pointing to his spilt lip. “Ya made me bleed, lemme in.”

Willow giggled slightly.

“It’s not bleeding.”

“Yeah well, worth a try weren’t it?” Spike grinned. “Only gonna stay ‘til you stop crying, pet.”

“I have stopped.” Willow said.

“Yeah, ‘til I leave and you get all hysterical and do something stupid.” Spike said pointedly, whilst Willow rolled her eyes.

“You sound like them.”

“Just worried, pet, is all....”

Willow looked away. “You’re making this so much harder.”

“Not my intentions…trying to help you out here.” Spike said.

“Why? This doesn’t make sense…any of it.” Willow said quietly. “It would be so much easier if I could hate you…hate Angel. And a part of me really does. I want you to suffer so much but... that’s not who I am… But a part of me…”

“What?” Spike asked softly, not wanting to frighten her, but he needed to know this.

“A part of me wants your help…for the baby. And me.” She told him. “And that’s why it’s so much harder this way.”

“You want me to play the bad man?” Spike asked. “Would it make it easier?”

“No! I just…hate the confusion. Not knowing whether to kill you or trust you.”

“Think how I feel! I’ve always got that feeling. ‘Course I usually just kill the person…but you’re messin’ my head up Red. I’m not supposed to want a baby.”

“I guess that makes you better than me.” Willow said flatly. “You want it and I don’t…what a great mother.”

“Yeah, ya do. You’re just hurtin’ now. Soon as it’s born, you’ll fall in love with it and it’ll be the one good thing that comes outta this.” Spike told her.

Willow didn’t look so sure.

“I should go to bed.”

“You ain’t gonna do anything stupid?” Spike asked with a raised eyebrow.

“No.”

“You can sort your mates out tomorrow. Have a word with ‘em. Nothing you can’t fix.” Spike said.

Willow nodded. “Thanks Spike.”

“See ya soon then.”

She shut the door and with great confusion, walked upstairs to lose herself in the comfort of her bed.

*****

“Well?” Sean asked upon the vampire’s arrival.

“Okay, word from the local snitch is that Spike is Angelus’ childe. They ain’t been on good terms for a loonng time…trying to kill each other. Angelus got cursed with a soul by a gypsy ages ago and now he helps the slayer out. Only, last year, he lost his soul after a moment of happiness with the slayer and became the old Angelus again. But not for long, ‘cause he got sent to hell by the same girl. Anyway, he comes back, and turns out that him and Spike have impregnated some human girl. So Spike’s busy looking after her…Angel’s keeping his distance and the slayer is well pissed. Think that about covers it.”

Sean shook his head.

“Spike is Angelus’ childe. And they’ve some how created life…in a worthless human. This is all wrong.”

“You’re telling me.” Jack smirked. “What you gonna do about it?”

“Make things right again. Save the family name…and get even.” Sean muttered.

*****

The next morning Willow waited nervously on Buffy’s doorstep, hoping she and Xander had gotten her message and were waiting, as instructed, for Willow’s big speech. Buffy answered the door expectantly, with Xander behind her. They both wore awkward, if not a little cold, expressions that Willow knew would make things that much more difficult. They moved aside so she could walk in, and followed her into the living room where she sat down on the chair, opposite the couch so they could sit, looking directly at her. There was an uncomfortable silence as she worked up the courage to say what she felt needed to be said.

“I know you both hate me right now…”

“Willow!” Xander interjected.

“We don’t hate you.” Buffy argued.

“But you’re mad at me.” Willow said firmly. “So let me explain what’s been going on.” Buffy nodded and sat back slowly, while Xander waited for her story.

“I…haven’t been dealing so well with what happened. But I guess you know that. Things have got a lot better lately…and don’t ask me why, but I think it’s because of Spike.” Buffy went to say something but was silenced by Willow’s warning glance.

“He showed up a while ago and he found me one night when I was out alone…he promised not to hurt me…that he only wanted to protect the baby and I didn’t believe him. The only reason I didn’t run was because he probably wouldn’t have let me. So I just let him walk me home. He said he’d warn all the other vampires to stay away. And I don’t know if he kept that promise, but that night…that you saw me…and him…I’d been attacked by a vampire. Spike saved me and walked me home again. Only this time, he told me I shouldn’t keep my feelings in, which I know I have been. He made me angry…forced me to let it out and then let me hit him over and over…he didn’t even fight back, he just let me. Then when I stopped, he held me as I cried. I needed that more than I can say…just finally letting some of that anger out on someone other than me…it was a relief.”

“But he’s Spike, Willow.” Buffy said softly.

“I know that. I still don’t trust him…I don’t suppose I ever will, but he hasn’t hurt me yet…he’s been a real friend. And I owe him my life.” Willow explained.

“Why couldn’t you come to me, Wills? Or Buffy? Or Giles…? We’ve always been here for you.” Xander explained.

“You never let me forget what happened. You talk to me like I’m going to break and I hate it. You don’t listen to what I say, you only give your opinions…and it’s been driving me nuts.”

“We’re listening now, Willow.” Buffy said, tearfully. “So say it…whatever you need to say, say it.”

Willow looked at her feet.

“I blame myself for what happened and I shouldn’t. I’ve been seeing Spike around and I haven’t told anyone, despite the fact he could have killed me at any time. I’ve been making some big mistakes. And there’s nothing I want more than to have my best friends by my side to help me make the right ones. But I need some say over things. I need to trust my judgment sometimes. Even if you don’t agree, don’t try to change my mind. Can you both do that?”

“Yeah, we can.” Xander replied. “And for what it’s worth, I’m so sorry…I just wanted to protect you…I didn’t mean to push you away.”

Willow felt tears welling.

“I’m so sorry I’ve been so hard to get on with.”

“I’m sorry we didn’t listen.” Buffy added.

“And I’m sorry I wasn’t a better friend.” Xander said.

“Forgive us?”

“Only if you forgive me.” Willow said, sniffing back tears happily.

“Nothing to forgive, Will.” Buffy said, rushing over to hug her best friend. Xander soon joined them, wrapping his arms round the crying girls with a flood of relief. Perhaps things were finally going to go right for them.

*****

“Please Will…don’t make me do this.” Xander begged.

“You’re both doing it. You’re lucky it’s only Angel and not Spike.” Willow said firmly.

“Are you sure you wanna see him?” Buffy asked.

“I can’t run away forever. Besides, I’m working on letting my feelings out…and I need to thank him for saving my life.” Willow replied.

“How about you do that and we’ll stand by and watch.” Buffy suggested.

“No!” Willow said firmly. “Don’t make me use it…”

“Willow please…” Xander pleaded.

“I swear I will…” Willow joked.

“But…”

“You asked for it. Resolve face.” Willow said, looking at them both as she crossed her arms and tapped her foot…

Buffy and Xander instantly wilted in defeat, before they both smiled.

“Fine…but I’m so not happy about this.” Xander muttered, the tone sounding incongruous with the blissful expression he wore. Resolve face Willow was much, much better than Willow who didn’t talk to them at all.

They stood outside, waiting for Willow’s instruction. As she moved forward, they followed her inside.

*****

Angel watched with a stony expression, as Buffy and Xander stood before him, ready to apologize. He kept throwing nervous looks at Willow, who had managed to find the furthest spot away from him to watch.

“Sorry for the whole kicking your ass thing, deadboy. You deserved it and you know you did but we promised Willow we wouldn’t so now we gotta apologize to you.” Xander said quickly.

“Xander!” Willow warned from across the room, eyes narrowing slightly, and the brunette balked at the chance of another brush with the resolve face.

“Sorry.” Xander repeated, making every effort to sound sincere.

“I am too. Technically it wasn’t your fault what happened, it should have been Angelus and not you.” Buffy said, her voice sounding a little less forced than Xander’s had.

Angel said nothing.

“Hey…your cue to talk.” Xander prodded.

“You don’t have to apologize. I deserved it.” Angel said simply.

“See? All happy now, lets go.” Xander grinned, turning to walk away.

“Wait.” Willow said, stepping forward, and Xander headed backwards with a cartoon-like momentum. “I just gotta say…thanks for saving my life before.”

“Willow, you know I’d do…” Angel began.

“I know. But there really is nothing you can do. You told Buffy about Spike, didn’t you?” Willow asked, softly though force was behind the question.

“I was only worried…”

“Leave Spike alone.” she interrupted, “He’s been a good friend and I trust my own judgment, you should too. I didn‘t get the chance to pick whether or not I wanted you to rape me, and I didn‘t get a chance to decide whether I wanted to get pregnant, but I did. And now I‘m making decisions that are mine to make, and I will not have you taking that right away again.” Willow told him, her voice still quiet, but Angel winced anyway, though he was already moving to argue, but looked hard at her face, and changed his mind at the last minute.

“I just want to make things up to you.”

“There’s no way you can.” Willow said. “You can’t make it go away.”

“But Spike can!?” Angel asked, unwittingly raising his voice.

“That’s enough.” Buffy said, tense and ready to leave with Willow.

“No, it’s not enough. I can’t leave until I make him see that I need Spike right now.” Willow told her.

“You need him?” Buffy asked, incredulous. “Okay, I get that he’s helping you…but you need him now?”

“Sometimes, yes. Buffy, he’s the father…or one of them anyway.” Willow explained. “I’m going to need help.”

“Not from him you don’t.” Xander said, voice suddenly losing all of it‘s force calm. “I’ll help you raise the baby. I’ll marry you.” Xander said, decisive for one of the only times in his life.

“Xander, that’s not funny.” Willow laughed.

“It wasn’t supposed to be.” Xander replied seriously.

“Everyone’s trying to do by by me but you all need to realize I don’t need anything. I just want to get through each day, live a normal life and maybe even give the baby one.” Her voice was quiet, almost desperate, but only almost.

Buffy smiled. It was the first time she’d heard Willow talk about the baby in a positive way. “Who do you want to help raise it, Willow?”

“All of you. But most of all, me. I need to do this. I need to make something good come out of this.”

“Changed your tune, ain’t ya?” Spike smirked, as he walked in. “Hold it, slayer…here to see Peaches.” Spike warned as Buffy stepped forward instinctively.

“Get out Spike.” Angel warned.

“Angel. If you want to help me, stop arguing with everyone. All this fighting is making me ill. I want everyone to get along.” Willow pleaded.

“Yeah. Me an’ you gotta kiss and make up. Red says.” Spike said, amusedly.

“Spike, be nice, please?” Willow sighed.

Sighing as well, he nodded. “Right. Nice. So, I apologize for hitting you on the head with a crowbar and saving the world. That do?”

“No!” Willow frowned.

“I was just kidding. What ‘ave I got apologize for again?” Spike asked, smiling.

“For fighting.”

“Ah yeah, that’s the one. So, sorry Peaches. Won’t happen again.” Spike said, leaning against the wall with a giant smirk on his face. He had every intention of enjoying this.

“Angel…” Willow urged.

“I’m sorry I told Buffy you were in town. I’m sorry we fought…most of all I’m sorry I dragged you into this, okay?” Angel said sincerely.

Spike faltered, he hadn’t expected that much. “Oh…yeah…right, no problem. Fine. Can I go now, Red?” He hadn’t managed to hide the discomfiture in his voice quite as well as he would have liked.

Willow nodded. “Yeah, thanks Spike.”

“You didn’t say *he* was gonna be here.” Buffy hissed.

“Well, *he* needed to apologize too.” Willow hissed back.

“So, now we’re all incredibly sorry and have thrown ourselves over the burning coals of shame, how about we go to the Bronze and do the ritual dance of friendship?” Xander grinned.

“Yeah…I think I will.” Willow said, feeling truly happy that things were slowly getting better.

“I’m in.” Buffy said.

“Angel?” Willow asked, cautiously.

More out of politeness than actual desire, she invited him.

“No…I’ll stay here. But thank you.” He said, softly.

“Shame, really…” Xander said, before catching Willow’s look. “Sorry…bad habit. Deadboy…we will really miss you.” Far from sarcasm, there was actual amusement in his voice. Angel actually smiled in return. As small and hidden as it was, Willow caught it and smiled herself.

“Come on, Snoopy.”

“Snoopy?” Buffy asked, giving Willow a funny look.

“Remind me to tell you that story some time.” Willow said, walking out. Buffy followed quickly, as Xander laughed off his embarrassment.

“You wouldn’t dare! I have too much on you! Right? Right, Willow? Willow!” Xander called after them as he ran after his best friends.

Angel watched them leave, before grabbing his coat. He couldn’t be part of her world, he knew that…but that didn’t mean he couldn’t protect her from a distance.

It was the least he could do....

*****

Willy took a break from cleaning the bar as a guy sat down. Looking the man up and down, he spoke.

“Snazzy outfit, what’ll it be?”

“Just a scotch’n’rocks for me, thanks.” The man said.

“You not from around here, eh?” Willy asked, frowning at the man’s accent.

“Can’t say I am. Here in town looking for an old friend.” The man said, taking his drink from the bartender.

“Oh yeah? Human friend?” Willy asked, casting a sideways glance at the man as he replaced the bottle on a shelf.

“Why d’ya ask?”

“Only, you don’t seem to bothered by the…special clientele.” Willy pointed out. “What are ya…vampire?”

“Hell no.” The man snorted. “Half-demon. Name’s Whistler.”

“Yeah? Never heard of ya, though ‘round here that ain’t necessarily a bad thing. So, you need help finding your…friend?” Willy asked.

“Anyone ever tell you ya got a nose on ya?” Whistler laughed. “His name’s Angel. You heard of him?”

“Who hasn’t? Guy’s pretty unpopular round here. With your type I mean. Couple of humans who like him though.” Willy said.

“I ain’t here to kill him…but I’m not exactly gonna be his best friend neither. Need to talk to him Any idea where he’s hiding these days? Still helping the slayer, right?”

“Oh yeah…you know Angel…a hot piece of--”

“Address?” Whistler interrupted, suddenly irritated by the weasel’s voice.

“Well, ya know…information costs round here.” Willy smiled. “And so do the drinks…so, ah, pay up and I’ll fill ya in.”

Whistler rolled his eyes.

“Never mind, find him myself.” He threw a couple of bills down; just enough to cover his drink and walked out. “Keep the change.”

*****

Angel waited outside, hiding in the shadows, every sense on alert. Every time the door opened far enough, he could see into the depths of the club…could see her red hair flashing as she danced with Buffy and Xander.

He felt a stab of regret…so much pain that it was overwhelming. Before he hadn’t…he’d never really been close with them, except maybe Buffy, but now…now he had no choice.

Spike was accomplishing more than he could. So much for his soul being a good thing to anyone. His senses perked suddenly and he felt someone near.

Spinning round he froze at the sight before him, memories from years before slipping back into focus.

“Hello Angelus. Funny seeing you here.”

*****

“Having a good time, Will?” Buffy asked, passing a drink to the tired redhead, who was sitting with her head on the table.

“Great.” Willow said, looking up.

“Wow…there’s a nice colour you’re turning. I‘ve got a sweater that shade, yanno.” Buffy smiled. “Feel sick?”

“Uh-huh.”

“But it’s not morning.” Xander said, sliding in the seat beside her. “Maybe it’s the vampire baby…maybe this is vampire morning sickness.” He suggested with a grin.

Willow found the strength to hit Xander playfully, even managing to work a glare out of the nauseated set her face had. “My baby is not a vampire baby.”

Buffy and Xander, however, said nothing. “You know, I feel dead here. Again, not the babies influence. Human baby.” Willow pointed out, sending a resolve face in Xander‘s direction. “Maybe I’ll head home.”

Buffd Xad Xander both stood with her.

“No…stay! I don’t wanna spoil your fun.” Willow urged.

“Wills, you can’t go home alone. Sunnydale, remember?” Xander reminded her, grabbing his stuff up despite Willow‘s urging to just sit down.

Willow frowned. She didn’t want to be the one to ruin a possibly fun evening for her friends, but she really didn’t want to run into any vampires.

Especially the evil kind, her mind added on, as though there was a clear cut line between the evil and good.... Or as if the good amount was somehow even proportional to the amount of bad. Willow frowned even more at her rambling thoughts..

“Okay, but you sure you don’t mind?”

“Not at all. This band blows anyway.” Xander grinned.

“I like it. The guitar player’s kinda cute.” Willow giggled.

“Ooh, Willow’s boy spotting!” Buffy cheered. “And good choice. He has been staring at lot at you lately.” Her friend nudged her side, doing a hilariously obvious waggle of the eyebrows.

“He has not!” Willow said, blushing. “Look…don’t tease me okay? You know I don’t want that kinda thing at the moment. I’m not ready.”

Buffy smiled. “I know, Will, don’t worry. We’re just playing. Home time now?”

“Thanks guys.” Willow stood up, holding her more than obvious stomach as she did.

“Oh, look. Sunnydale High’s premier slut is still trying to be cool.” Harmony said, walking past with a few of her friends. Sheep, her mind amended quickly.

“Yeah, sorry about that Harmony. You can have your title back next year.” Willow snapped, walking away and leaving an outraged Harmony in her wake. A few of her friends tittered to themselves before she rounded on them, and she was just about to turn around to throw another insult in Willow’s direction when she was intercepted by a fist flying toward her face.

Xander, however, had the good timing to grab and lean back, just stopping Buffy’s fist from running straight into Harmony’s nose job. He leaned back even more, digging his heels in and dragging a fuming Buffy with him as they followed.

“Let it go, Buffy.” Xander said, miserably, in a tone they all knew meant that he would have liked to join in on the Harmony-pounding.

“She can not say that and get away with it. She must die.” Buffy growled, angrily, trying to wriggle out of Xander‘s grip before Willow stepped back and grabbed her as well.

“It’s okay.” she said seriously, “I get enough of it at school. It doesn’t bother me anymore. I know what really happened. And you do. That’s all I need.”

Buffy gave one more half-hearted attempt at getting away, before she sighed. “I know…but I still want to make her very sorry.”

“And we will…we’ll devise a plan and when she least expects it…attack. Maybe we could put black hair dye in her hairspray bottle...” Xander joked.

“Come on.” Willow said, smiling softly at her friends. “Before I throw up and embarrass myself even more.”

*****

“Sean.” Angel said, carefully, watching the other man uneasily. “It’s been a while.”

“That it has.” Sean agreed, walking closer, hands casually buried in his pockets. “How’s things been, old boy?”

“Same.” Angel lied, affecting the coldly casual tone he always associated with Angelus. “You?”

“Always the same. You know me. Hate change.”

“So…you here on business?” Angel asked, casually, still watching carefully.

“Pleasure. Heard there was a tasty human carrying some vampire’s baby ‘round here.” Sean smirked.

Angel tried hard not to attack; he just stood there, his face etched with anger he just couldn’t seem to conceal very well.

“Is that so?”

“And then I hear you…my long lost Sire, is here and I have the sudden urge to look you up. Reminisce about old times…” Sean told him, smirking as he watched the fury bubble underneath the surface.

Angel smiled, relaxing slightly. “Old times?”

“Yes…say, do you remember the time you sold me out to the clan of demons, after your head for killing one of their leaders?” Sean asked, voice suddenly thick with venom.

“Had to do something to escape.” Angel replied, giving a considering quirk to his lips.

“Do you have any idea what they did to me to get to you?” Sean asked, advancing forward slowly. “Did you even care?”

“No, I didn’t.” Angel replied. “But things are different now.”

“Yes, so I heard. So, no Darla to keep you company anymore. Heard you killed her yourself.”

“Yes.”

“Killing one’s Sire is against our laws.” Sean reminded him.

“I don’t follow the rules, you know that.” Angel smirked, hands folding themselves behind his back casually.

“No…you never did. But Angelus…your actions are a bad influence on your childer. What if they should wish to do the same to you?” Sean asked him.

“They can try.” Angel said, pulling out the stake his fingers had been slipping around. “But something tells me they wouldn’t win.”

Sean simply smiled. “What of Penn and Drusilla…and the new one…Spike, isn’t it?”

“All alive and well. Though two have tried and failed to kill me.” Angel said as the two began to circle each other.

“Make it three.” Sean smirked.

“You think you can take me, Sean? You?” Angel asked, trying not to laugh.

“Maybe not. But I have a few friends, see…” Sean smiled as a couple of minions appeared, flanked by Jack…and Spike.

“Spike…should have known you wouldn’t last five minutes without causing trouble.” Angel spat.

“Well, ya know me, Peaches. Anything to kill you.” Spike smirked, a sweet tone in his voice.

“And Willow?” Angel asked, angry with himself for ever believing Spike could care about the girl.

“Willow…” Spike snorted, his face twisting a bit. “Won’t ever find out, now will she?”

“Bastard!” Angel lunged at Spike, switching to game face. The minions, Jack and Sean dived in to help Spike. Angel was severely outnumbered.

He managed to kill the minions, noticing in his killing spree that Spike held back. Something told Angel Spike wasn’t exactly putting his heart into it, so rather than keeping an eye on his youngest childe, he focused on the wayward one…the one actually posing a threat now.

“Forget it, Sean…even with Spike and your friend…”

“Jack…your grandchilde.” Sean interrupted.

“…You don’t stand a chance of staking me.” Angel hissed, lunging forward.

“You know? You’re right…I don’t.” Sean said, thoughtfully, wheeling out of the way at the last moment, sending Angel stumbling. “But with three of us, do you really think you stand a chance?”

“Two of you, you stupid prat.” Spike sneered. “I’ll take this one…you kill this bastard.” Angel nodded, diving again at Sean, both of them falling to the ground this time.

*****

Willow, Buffy and Xander walked out the Bronze, laughing as they went.

Something seemed to itch within her mind and Buffy paused for a moment.

Something was very off...

“Wait.” She turned around to see the outlines of figures in the background.

“Get Willow out of here.”

“No, Buffy, there’s lots. Don’t go alone.” Willow begged.

Xander ran after Willow as she followed the slayer over.

*****

Jack hissed as Spike hit him. Nursing his hand as Jack merely smirked wiped the smile off Spike’s face.

“Changed my mind…I want that one.” Spike yelled over to Angel.

Already deep in battle, Sean and Angel went at it, blocking each other’s moves and attacking with exactly the same patterns.

“Who’s the girl you’re protecting, Angelus?” Sean asked.

“You won’t be around long enough to care.” Angel snarled in return, lunging forward again.

Sean pushed Angel away and laughed.

“She’ll taste so good, you know. Pregnant girls always do.”

“I guess you’ll never know.” Angel growled.

Spike, meanwhile, had finally dusted Jack with a smirk. “Teach you to mess with your uncle Spike.” He preened, before almost jumping when Angel yelled

“A little help over here, Spike!?” Angel called.

“Hey, gimmie a minute, just dusted this one.” Spike said, making a bit of a face and walking over. Sean, distracted by the approach of the younger vampire, paused to look Spike up and down.

“Your tastes have changed, Angelus.”

“Yeah, for the better, obviously.” Spike quipped, puffing up slightly despite the severity of the situation.

“I wonder if he can fight as well as us?” Sean asked, grabbing Angel’s fallen stake from beside his foot.

Spike dodged Sean as he attacked, even managed to get a few kicks in, but it was obvious to Angel that Sean had the superior techniques.

“Spike!” Willow called out, as she realized who was fighting. Spike spun round, at the voice.

“Willow, get out of here!”

Sean took the chance Spike’s preoccupation created and thrust the stake down towards Spike’s chest. In a slow motion no one saw but him, Angel leapt forward knocking Sean away from Spike, and sending the stake flying.

He tried to pin the younger vampire down, but was bucked off.

“Give it up, you taught me every thing you know long ago.” Sean laughed, on his feet in seconds.

“Not everything.” Angel smirked. “I have picked up a few things since.” He managed to pull off a move, a pivoted lunge he‘d seen Buffy use once, resulting in Sean being pressed into the wall.

“So have I, Sire.” Sean laughed, twisting his wrist to pull out a long knife from beneath the coat. With the small range of motion he had to twist the knife upward, slashing into Angel’s flesh before he embedded it fully in Angel’s stomach.

Angel gasped and stumbled back, hands clutched around the knife and the widening wound it had caused, the sudden pain causing his head to spin.

“Spike!” Willow cried out, running over.

“Red! S’okay, Peaches and I are just taking out a couple of wannabe badasses.” Spike grinned.

“Angel…” Willow said, looking over as the knife plunged into his stomach. Spike whirled round.

“Oi! Only one who gets to stab the poof is me, got it?” Tensing to jump for Sean, before he stopped and looked to Willow. “It’s okay, vampire’s can’t die from stab wounds, remember?”

Spike stood ready to face Sean as Angel fell to his knees, pulling the knife out with a small agonized sound. Buffy was by Spike’s side in an instant, stake out and eyes cold with rage.

“Maybe not stab wounds, little brother, but when you dip a knife into poison and holy water…giving it a high enough dosage…stabbed vampire’s don’t last ten minutes.” Sean grinned in triumph. “Think you can find the cure in time?”

“You two look after Angel, we’ll finish this guy off.” Buffy said, quickly. Sean looked at Willow.

“So this is the pretty little pregnant girl, huh? Gonna enjoy eating that one.” Buffy attacked, stake poised with Spike to back her up. It took her every effort not to stake Spike as they fought, but Spike finally managed to hold the vampire still as Buffy plunged the stake into his heart.

Wiping his hands of the dust, Spike watched as Buffy ran to Angel’s side again.

“Was it poisoned?” she asked Angel.

The vampire nodded, slowly, the movement barely discernable as his eyes half closed with exhaustion and pain. He lifted his shirt with one hand to reveal the wound, stretching from below his navel nearly to his ribs. Just by the sight of it, it was obvious the poison had already made its way through his blood stream. Faded blue lines spread out from the cut, where the flesh directly in contact with the holy water had began to show sounds of melting, as though acid had touched the area, signs of the poison killing him.

“Oh God.” Willow muttered.

“We have to find the cure, now. Xander, go ring Giles…tell him it’s an emergency.” Buffy ordered. Xander took off, leaving the others to watch Angel slowly dying.

“What if we don’t…I mean…he said within ten minutes.” Willow said, holding onto Buffy.

“It’s okay.” Angel whispered. “I’m alright.”

“You’re dying you stupid git.” Spike pointed out, glaring at his sire: affected by the scene despite himself.

“I know that, Spike. I’m just…alright.” Angel said. “He was going to…hurt Willow. You’re safe now. Safer.”

“Don’t worry about Red, mate. I’ll take care of her.” Spike said quietly, surprising himself at the sincerity in his voice.

“Shut up!!!“ Buffy snarled at the both of them. “Giles will find the cure. You’ll be alright.” Buffy said, voice tight and cracking as the tears welled into her eyes, her old feelings for Angel coming to the surface, despite her resistance.

Angel shook his head. “I’m ready.”

Willow stood and walked back into Spike, who held her arms in silent support. “Willow…please forgive me.” Angel pleaded quietly.

“I do.” Willow said, swallowing the lump in her throat.

“And the baby, take care of it... Even if it’s not mine…it’ll be a part of me.” Angel told her.

“I know.” Willow said, her voice breaking.

“Stop talking like that.” It was heartbreaking alone just to hear the pleading in the Slayer’s voice. “Giles is gonna find the cure!” Buffy said, stubbornly.

“I’m sorry Buffy. I never wanted to hurt you.” Angel told her.

The tears finally sliding from her eyes, she replied. “It wasn’t your fault. Don’t blame yourself.”

With a pained groan, Angel closed his eyes. “I want to tell you I still love you.... but that seems cruel now...“

“I do love you, still... Please, please, Angel just hold on!!! Giles will be here!”

“I…am…sorry.” He whispered, finally, and Buffy jolted away as Angel dissolved before her.

“We know.” Willow stared down at the settling ash with a deep sadness that couldn’t quite bring her to cry.

That part of her life was over.

The little closure she had was enough to make her strong again.

No more fears of Angelus.

Spike turned her round gently.

“You okay, Pet?”

“I can’t cry.” She said softly, burying her face in his chest.

“Neither can I, pet, neither can I.” Spike whispered, pulling her close.

Xander ran back to the others wishing he had better news than, ‘Giles isn’t in right now’. As he got close enough, though, he saw the empty space they watched and stopped.

Silently, he closed his eyes in respect.

*****