So Many Tears

Title: So many tears 2

Rating: NC-17

Author: justchiky2Bme

Pairing: B/F it’s not possible for me to write any other.

Summary: Buffy and Faith are together, but with love comes pain. I don’t know where the story is set just put it somewhere in there.

Endorse: The show and characters belong to J.W. and M.E. The story however is mine, so if you would like to archive please let me know, my name must be attached.

Feedback: I love feedback, pretty much anything except for really mean stuff.

Notes: I’ve gotten so much feedback from this that, yay, I am writing more, hope you like. This may not be as good, I’m falling asleep so sorry. Please give me some pointers on the smut part, its not my area of expertise.

A fog hung in the air, a thick bitter air that stuck to her. She didn’t know how she got here, or where she was. Looking around there seemed to be nothing, no sky no earth, nothing. She glanced down and realized she was standing on a small mound of earth but could not see anything else, the fog covered everything. She called out and didn’t even hear her voice echo. A slight movement beneath the fog caught her eye and she looked down again. The thick fog began to thin a little and she could make out more movement. She tried to bend down but found that she couldn’t move. The fog thinned more and a bony gray hand moved slowly up her little piece of earth. Its slimy skin clung tightly to its bones. More hands appeared and soon the bodies they were attached to could be seen as well. They crouched and moved below her, a sickening sound of bones and flesh rubbing against each other. The first hand she had seen was moving to touch her ankle. She tried to move but still couldn’t. The hand grasped tightly to her ankle and her body felt like it was on fire from the contact. Then images flashed from when she was a kid, another hand grasped her and her body burned more as more images flashed before her. Hands seemed to rise from the depths of the fog and covered her body. Images pouring from her memories and nightmares, swirling around before her as her body felt as though it was being burned from the inside out. She tried to scream, she wanted to, but her mouth would not open. Her life and her future flashed before her, over and over again.

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Faith sat hunched over in the chair, her hand grasping Buffy’s cold frail hand. It had been three days since they brought her here. Willow had managed to convince Faith to go home to change and shower. The brunette had stood under the hot water scrubbing her body trying to rid herself of the blonde’s blood, even after it was gone. She knew the cost of being a slayer, but when she saw Buffy’s lifeless body, it became all too real. Because it was Buffy’s lifeless body, the one person she loved, ever.

Now she sits, unmoving from the blonde’s side waiting for her to look at her and let her know she was still here. Everyone else sits in the waiting room, occasionally coming in, and even Anya came in and sat for a little. Spike came one night and stood by the door for a few minutes before leaving again. Willow and Kennedy take Dawn home and continue to try to make Faith go home too, but she wouldn’t. In the middle of the night when everyone is gone and the nurses aren’t around she would talk quietly to her girlfriend. Just saying whatever came to her mind at first then the words would just flow out and she would talk for hours.

The doctors had to perform a couple of surgeries on Buffy already, and even with her slayer healing it would take time for her to get back to normal. They had to give her blood because she lost so much, and fight a fever. Willow had come in every night and would perform little spells to help the slayerl. l. She stared at Buffy’s frail body. It looked even smaller now than ever before, and so vulnerable. Faith closed her eyes for a moment and sighed. The she sensed something and her eyes flew back open. The blonde was looking straight at her, tears streaming down the sides of her face.

‘B.’ Faith practically whispered her name as she stood up looking down at the blonde. Buffy didn’t speak she just kept looking at Faith, who too had tears in her eyes no matter how hard she tried to hold them back. ‘Don’t ever fucking do that to me again.’ She leaned down and kissed the girls lips lightly then got down on her knees, still holding Buffy’s hand in her own. Buffy just looked at her and cried.

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After a few days and against medial advice they wheeled Buffy home in a wheelchair. She hadn’t really talked since waking up, and no one forced her too, they were all too happy that she was still alive. Even with Willow’s magic and the slayer healing, it would take some time for Buffy to be one hundred percent. She would probably have to be in a wheelchair a few more days but she hoped less. The whole gang lavished her with attention and gifts. They kept trying to get her to eat but she often refused. Faith would have to sit down and make her eat what ever the meal of the day was. Buffy’s near death experienced had scared Faith deeply; no one thought that the dark slayer could be affected so much by something. But it had scared Buffy even more. She remembered what it was like when she had died, and what happened this time was nothing like before. Maybe it was just a freaky demon side affect thing, but that didn’t matter. She wished she couldn’t remember anything but she could.

Eventually Buffy could walk again, and the pain in her back began to fade. On the outside everything seemed normal again. They joked and laughed and she began to train with Faith again. She had yet to go on patrol, that would take a little more time. Every night Faith would hold Buffy close to her and fall asleep, but Buffy usually remained awake for hours. Nightmares plagued her sleep. A couple of nights ago she woke up screaming, waking up everyone in the house hold. It took Faith an hour to calm her down. The blonde didn’t sleep for a week after that. She could tell the brunette worried about her, staring at Buffy when she thought she wasn’t looking, always asking if she was ok. Buffy would kiss her and say 5 by 5. And that’s just how things were.

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‘Sooooooo.’ Faith said flopping down on her back next to Buffy.

‘So.’ The blonde said looking at Faith and smiling. The brunette licked her lips.

‘You hungry B, cus I’m starving.’ Buffy couldn’t help but giggle a little.

‘What’s on the menu tonight?’

‘A little bit of you a little bit of me……… actually I think I want a whole lotta you.’ Buffy arched her eyebrow at Faith’s comment. ‘So baby, what do you say?’

‘I hope you can pay for it cus I’m expensive.’ Buffy looked at her and Faith grinned. The brunette moved so she was over the blonde and looked down at her.

‘I’ve missed you.’ She said seriously. Buffy looked at the love and pain in her eyes.

‘I’m sorry.’ The smaller slayer whispered.

‘Don’t ever be sorry B.’ She leaned forward and kissed Buffy’s lips softly. She could feel the blonde’s fingers tangle in her hair pulling her down. After a little they pulled away and quickly removed their clothes. Again Faith kissed Buffy softly, one hand trailed slowly down the blonde’s side. The kissed deepened and became more passionate. They both wanted and needed each other badly but seemed determined to go slow. They continued to kiss, their hands caressing each others bodies. Faith kissed down along Buffy’s jawline and licked her neck. The blondes hands moved up and squeezed Faith’s breasts. The brunette moaned into her neck, a hand sliding down Buffy’s flat stomach. Faith leaned down and sucked on Buffy’s left nipple, sliding two fingers into the girl at the same time. The blonde slayer groaned Faith’s name loudly and arched her body into the brunette. Her fingers started to move in and out of the blonde who’s fingers dug into her back. Faith captured Buffy’s lips with her own and began to move her body against the blondes. With each thrust Faith’s body moved behind it, her breasts rubbing against Buffy’s. She grunted into the smaller slayers neck as she thrusted a little faster. Her teeth bit into the blonde’s neck. Buffy groaned louder saying Faith’s name oand and over. The brunette hit Buffy’s clit with her thumb. The blonde cried out and her fingers dug harder into Faith’s back. The dark slayer thrust a little faster and harder and she could feel Buffy was ready. She thrust her fingers in hard and hit the blonde’s clit. Buffy screamed out Faith’s name as she tensed. The brunette held Buffy against her, her fingers still inside the blonde until she looked at Faith, a few tears slid down from the blondes eyes. Both of their chests were heaving. Faith moved off of the blonde a little and looked her in the eyes.

‘I love you Buffy.’ She said quietly. ‘For a long time I wish I never did because I’m not used to feeling this way, to being vulnerable. Shit I’m a get some get gone kinda girl and with you…………. I want to always be with you, for you to stand next to me always no matter what. I want it to always be me and you, forever.’



TBC