Saying It With Flowers

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Xander/William
Rating: G then R then NC17 ( but not till later…..he he he)
Author: Mightbeme
E-mail: Lee_Michelle_t@hotmail.com
Feedback: Yes please
Disclaimer: Not mine don’t own em (pout…stamps foot…dammit) they belong to Joss etc.
Spoilers: Up to Grave then we take a left and go off road.
Thanks: To my wonderful friend Meg for encouraging me to finish this and for being the best beta in the world.
Notes: Thoughts in * * flashbacks in # #
yingying It With Flowers

Part 2 William

“William”

My name was warily echoed by his lips and I watched his face soften just slightly. Then the moment was gone and his features were hard again. The tone of his voice was frosty as he turned away, flicking the light switch off as he went.

“I really don’t care what your name is. I know who you are and what you did and nothing will change that. Spike. William. Its all the same to me.”

The door closed and I sank back into the narrow bed, succumbing at last to the exhaustion that pervaded my body. My dreams filled to overflowing with random snatches of scenes and people I had no memory of. I tossed and turned in my struggle to rid myself of their unwelcome intrusion. Faces flashed by so fast I couldn’t put names to them and I doubted that even if they were stationary I wouldn’t recognise them.

Many hours later a pain in my stomach finally roused me from my fitful sleep. That, and an urgent need to use the facilities. I sat up, my body protesting at the sudden movement and rubbed my eyes. Squinting, I searched for my spectacles; my eyesight had never been very good up close. I frowned when I realized I didn’t have them and I fumbled for the latch on the door.

Hauling my body up, I tried to ignore the bone deep aches as I stepped out into the silent apartment. The hand I ran through my hair was pulled away in disgust. My hair felt filthy; in fact my whole body smelt like it could do with a long bath. I looked around and stumbled towards a likely door, extremely grateful when it revealed a neat bathroom.

I sank thankfully on to the edge of the bath, leaning over to put in the plug and turn on the taps. Hot water gushed out while I stripped off the tight black pants I was wearing. I kicked them away in revulsion, as they were tattered and soiled. They had been so tight that I hadn’t realized till I took them off that I wore no under things. I felt my face flaming in embarrassment as I regarded the small heap of dirty clothing on the floor.

The sound of running water made the need to pass my water an urgent summons, and I hobbled to the toilet. That necessity dealt with, I slid into the hot water sighing in pleasure as it covered my aching body. I let the dressings on my chest and arms soak off, carefully piling them on the edge of the bath. I submerged and felt the warm water flood through my hair to my scalp. Rubbing my fingers through the matted locks helped to loosen the dirt and grime. Sitting up I wiped the water from my eyes, and took up the soap to wash my hair. I ducked under the water again and rinsed until it was squeaky clean. I used the washer to lave my skin fastidiously, carefully cleaning the mostly superficial wounds. Finished, I lay back in the tub and let the heat seep through me, settling the aches that plagued me.

When the water cooled I pulled out the plug with my toes and let the dirty stream flow away. Standing carefully, I gingerly stepped out onto the bathmat, feeling better than I had since I first regained consciousnesses outside the retail shop. Taking a towel I wiped myself, frowning at the spots of blood that appeared on the light colored material. Spying a cabinet on the wall above the sink I went to open it. Instead I found myself caught by my reflection in the mirrored surface. It felt like eons since I had seen myself. I scowled at the white blond hair that curled limply around a face I almost didn’t remember owning. A scar ran through my left eyebrow and I reached a finger up to trace it, wondering where I’d got it.

# A flash of a chinese girl with a sword sweeping up towards my face#

Shaking my head to dispel the uncomfortable scene; my hands gripped the sink painfully tight, knuckles as white as the porcelain. I looked back up into my mirror image; it seemed so much hr thr than when last I’d seen it. My cheekbones stood out in stark relief, above lips that looked thinner, sharper. The only thing that seemed familiar were my eyes, still the same bright blue of yesteryear…….. I frowned into the mirror watching as my image copied me. Yesteryear, my life seemed so long ago, I shook off the feeling and opened the cabinet. Discovering a first aid kit and taking the necessities needed to carefully bandage my remaining wounds. Once finished, I picked up the towel and wrapped it around my waist. I flushed, I had no clothes, how could I wait around wearing nothing. This would not do, I would have to borrow something from my host until I could procure some clothing for myself.

A loud knock startled me and a harsh voice demanded entry. Carefully I made my way to the door and complied, staring up into my host’s annoyed face.

“Spike”

I frowned as he glared at me, his demeanor stormy, nearly enraged. Blinking I gathered my courage in the face of his animosity.

“Please, I would prefer it if you would call me by my given name, thank you”

“Right, and you think I care what name you use”

“Your preference is noted, yet I would appreciate the courtesy of using my name sir”

“Sir….wait a minute, you called me…sir.”

“Why yes, we have not been formally introduced, and it would be remiss of me to take the liberty of calling you by your first name”

My dark haired host looked thunderstruck, he stepped back and stared. For a bare moment his mouth opened and closed but no audible sound emerged.

“Spike stop fooling around, you know me, Xander…Alexander Harris….remember?”

I thought for a moment searching my memory for an inkling of who this man before me was. But alas there was no trace of him in my mind. I felt a deep loss, as he was a most attractive individual. His eyes were so beautiful….like deep dark liquid pools. I gasped and shook my head slightly, cheeks flushing pinkly as I looked away. My voice trembled slightly and I licked dry lips trying to steady myself.

“No….no I’m sorry but I don’t remember you at all”

“Ok this is getting freakier by the minute, god I wish Giles was here, maybe he could make some sense out of you”

I stiffened, taking offence at his tone of voice, and I couldn’t help but wonder whom this Giles person was. I was about to ask if I could borrow some clothes when my stomach chose this rather inopportune moment to grumble, loudly. Xander arched an eyebrow at me and I flushed again, this really was most embarrassing.

“You’re hungry, get dressed and I’ll get you something to eat”

“Umm, I…umm don’t seem to have any suitable attire. I was wondering if perhaps I could impose upon your generosity and borrow something of yours until I can purchase more.”

My unwilling host laughed sharply, and I could not help but feel I was the butt of this particular joke. But he turned on his heel and returned moments later with a truly appalling collection of garments. Still I had to be grateful for something to cover my nakedness with and retreated into the bathroom to dress. I pulled on the boxer shorts and very baggy pants, glad that he’d included a belt because they were far too large for my smaller frame. The shirt I held out in front of me made me grimace, it was….well loud was the politest term for it and I shuddered as I put it on. The lime green background was atrocious on its own, but teamed with the yellow printed pineapples…… it was nothing less than an eyesore. Still they were clean and dry so I swallowed my ire and proceeded to follow my nose to the kitchen.

My bare feet padded softly on the floor enabling me to approach my host without alerting him to my presence. He stood by the sink his back to the door; I watched as he broke a couple of eggs into a bowl and whisked them. Appreciatively I took in his form and my heart lurched as I considered his perfection. The broad shoulders and lean hips, his long legs encased in denim. He poured the mixture into a pan causing an appetizing sizzle that made my stomach growl and my mouth water. He cast a look over his shoulder at me, his eyes crinkling in silent, somewhat malicious mirth at my appearance.

“Sit down”

Frowning down at my attire, I sat at the table as he placed a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs in front of me. Mouth watering at the delicious smell, I waited while he seated himself with his own plate. He picked up his knife and fork and I was surprised as he started to eat. I lowered my head and said a quick grace under my breath. That done, I searched in vain for a napkin and finding none I took up my knife and fork and started to eat. When I looked up, I saw Xander had stopped eating and was staring curiously at me. I finished chewing and swallowed my mouthful of eggs. Fidgeting nervously with my fork, I debated whether to ask him what he was staring at. He waved his fork offhandedly and cleared his throat to speak.

“You….don’t remember anything about yourself do you?”

I smiled slightly “Well of course I remember things about myself.”

He took up another fork load of eggs and asked,

“Like…?”

“Well my name is William Edward Browning “

“And….?”

“I’m the only son in my family, though I have a sister. I work for an uncle in the family business, a bookstore. My sister married quite well and has left home. My father died, I live with my mother…..”

My own voice ghosted across my mind, and I struggled to distinguish what it was saying before it skittered away.

#Oh, yes! I mean, no. I mean... mother's expecting me. #

I frowned, I knew these things and yet they seemed so far away from today, I turned confused eyes on my companion.

“Why is this so hard to remember….I should know more than this”?

The expression on Xander’s face flickered and then he turned away taking his empty plate and dumping it in the sink.

“Don’t ask me, I know more about you than I ever wanted to know”

My stomach dropped and I could only watch dumbfounded and a little sad as he walked away.


Tbc