Choices

A/N: Thank you very much to those that reviewed! I realize that I kind of didn't explain in great detail what Buffy exactly was. She is not THE Slayer. She is a girl with extraordinary powers like the Slayer and also powers of Magick. I wanted to have some freedom from Watchers, Councils etc. Plus, they might turn up later. I felt I'd have more leeway with her not being the Slayer. More special, I suppose. And, it will definitely end up being B/A/S...just going to take some time to get there, but it will happen! Have to get through some angst and stupidity first! :) Thanks again for reading :)


Chapter Two

Angel couldn't sleep anymore. It wasn't in his nature to sleep very much. His mind was constantly working. Once he woke up, that was it. He was done for. So, after laying in bed staring up at the ceg fog for an hour, he got up and padded into the living room. It was three a.m. Sighing, he turned on the TV and hoped to dull his brain enough to at least try and get more sleep. Settling down, he turned the volume down and flipped through the channels in hopes of finding at least a Three's Company rerun.

He could hear her before he saw her. He looked expectantly at the doorway, waiting for her. She appeared a second later, hair mussed and in her face.

"Buffy?" He asked softly. "Are you all right?"

She stared at him and her bottom lip started to tremble and her eyes began to leak. He bounded up and over to her.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" He asked gently, tilting her chin up and making her look at him. Her eyes were tired still, but she was obviously upset. She closed her eyes tightly and he could tell she was trying not to cry. "Talk to me, please?"

She opened her eyes, and her green eyes were swimming in tears. "I dreamt of my mother."

Angel understood. She never spoke abour lor loss. And it was a loss that they all felt. Joyce had made them all family. Angel could barely remember what it was like to have a family, so to him, it meant the world that Joyce had essentially taken him in and made him part of something he didn't know he needed.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close against him and held her as she cried. It concerned him that she never spoke about her mother, never expressed how she was feeling about her death. It had been so sudden, an aneurysm in her brain, Angel wondered if Buffy had taken the time to process any of it yet.

"Do you promise not to ever leave me?" She asked in a small voice.

"I promise to never, ever leave you. And I know Spike would never, ever leave you either."

She nodded. "Good."

"Come on, why don't you sit with me for a bit? Do you want talk about it?"

She shook her head. "Can we just watch some TV? I don't want to talk about it."

Angel studied her. He could see that she was wiped. It was senseless to push her to talk about something that she wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with at the moment. So that was why he didn't press and instead handed her the flicker. He sat and she curled up next to him, her head in his lap. He gently stroked her hair as they watched some television and before they both knew it, they had fallen back asleep.

******


Spike yawned needlessly and scratched his stomach as he stumbled into the living room still groggy from sleep. His eyes fell on the sleeping forms on the couch and he stared at them. He distinctly remembered Angel going to bed and Buffy staying up with him. He also remembered carrying her to bed. So, what happened? He couldn't help the rush of jealousy he felt at seeing the two of them together like that. He knew it was innocent, at least on Buffy's side. With Angel however, well, he had his doubts. You didn't know someone for over a century without picking up on some things. They didn't look too intimate though with Angel sitting up right with his head reclined back on the sofa and Buffy curled up with her head in his lap, a pillow under her head. He was so lost in his musings, it took him a minute to realize Angel had awoken and was now staring at him.

"Bloody hell," he muttered and scowled at him before walking into the kitchen. He pulled the fridge open forcefully, making the entsents inside rattle.

"What's your problem?" Angel asked as he sauntered in the kitchen, rolling his neck and working out the kinks.

"Nothin'," he muttered and took out the pitcher of O Neg and began to pour him a glass. Angel followed suit, but poured himself a mug of O Positive. Placing his mug in the microwave, Spike turned and leaned against the counter. "I miss a late night Pow-Wow?"

Angel raised his eyebrows, "that what you're so grumpy about?"

"I'm. Not. Grumpy." Spike bit out. Angel just looked at him, unbelieving. "But I will be if you keep accusing me of it."

"There was no 'Pow-wow' last night. I was up and she woke up after dreaming of her mother. She was upset and we watched TV together before we both fell asleep."

Spike ignored the beeping of the microwave as he gazed at Buffy's sleeping form through the kitchen doorway. His heart went out to her, and he felt like a git for getting so jealous. At least someone had been there for her.

"She talk about it?" Spike asked as Angel handed him his mug and put his own in.

Angel sighed, "no. I offered, but she refused."

Spike nodded, "going to take some time."

"How much time though? It's been three months since Joyce passed." Angel trailed off, running a hand through his mussed hair. "I'm worried about when she finally does crack."

Spike nodded. "I hope she's in a safe place when it happens."

*******

"Spikey, spikey..." Buffy sing-songed. "Wakey, wakey." She stared at his face,kingking for any sign that he was awakening. She lay next to him on his bed, a sheet covering his muscular body. His chest was bare and uncovered and she couldn't stop herself from looking. He was so pale and perfectly sculpted. His skin looked so soft and supple. Her hands suddenly itched to touch him, just to see if it was. She mentally berated herself for thinking such thoughts. This was Spike! He wasn't someone to be checking out, he was like a brother.

"What's going on in that head oursours?"

She jumped a near mile at his voice and found herself blushing profusely. Did he know? God that would be mortifying to be caught ogling him while he had been sleeping. She looked up and met his eyes. He was grinning at her.

"Uh, I was waking you up." She told him, stating the obvious.

"Figured that." He stretched and she watched him, frozen. He was like a sleek cat, all muscles and yet soft. Her hands were itching again. He propped himself up against the headboard and lit a cigarette. "How you doing, kitten?"

She licked her lips and sat up on her knees facing him. "Fine. You've slept half the day away."

"Vampire, remember?"

"Yeah, but you keep human hours."

"Sometimes. You wore me out last night."

"I-I did?"

He nodded."You were on a roll last night."

She knew he meant slaying, but her mind couldn't stop itself from going somewhere completely different at his words. She scrambled off the bed, suddenly feeling as if she couldn't breathe. "I gotta go," she mumbled.

"Buffy?" He asked and started to get out of bed.

"Um, no, don't get up. I, uh, just have to do something." And she practically ran out the door. Angel was in the living room, going over some papers when she flew through. "I'm going out for a while!" And she ran out the door. She didn't even hear Spike calling after her.

God, what was wrong with her? One moment Spike was like a brother, thinking him sexless, and in the next she was having these lusty images in her head. She could still see his abs and how perfectly cut they were, how strong his arms were. It wasn't like that was the first time she'd seen him without a shirt, but it was certainly the first time it had affected her in such a way.

She stopped suddenly and looked around. People were bustling all over the place. Living, working, shopping, driving. People. Humans. There were humans around her,ans ans she didn't cavort with, engage with. Humans like her, but not like her. She'd had friends, but somehow they got lost in the muddle of slaying and befriending vampires and then losing her mom. Tears stung her eyes at the thought of her mother. No, wallowing would not help. Wallowing would not bring her back. She had to be strong. She had powers unlike anyone else, aside from the Slayer, so she should be able to heal from a broken heart unlike anyone else. Resilience. Her wounds healed quickly, so why couldn't her heart? She knew she'd fallen into some kind of depression since her mother's death. She had picked up their habits of not venturing outside much during the day since she had moved in with them after her mom passed. However, if thoughts of Spike as a sexual being were beginning to infiltrate her mind, then perhaps it was a good thing to get out of the house more often.

She bit her lip until it started to hurt and looked around. Daytime. Something she could not share with Angel and Spike. The wind passed through her blond hair and she felt a sense of freedom wash over her. What could she do with the day to make herself feel better? A hobby that didn't involve slaying, that's what she needed. Maybe a job? She'd held a job after high school for a short time until it became too much for the hours she 'worked' at night. Then, her mother died, and she'd been left quite an inheritance. didndidn't know what she wanted to do. Spotting the library across the street, she figured that was a good place to start.