Bargains

Thanks for the reviews, This was only going to be one part…but since there was so much interest I decided to expand it. I hope you enjoy.

Sorry I’m a dumbass, song credit in the last chapter Metallica…

Bargains_2

“No problem Luv.” Spike said softly, still calmly taking breaths and stroking her back. Buffy let herself be lulled by his rhythmic breathing and fell into a deep calm sleep.


He closed his eyes and kissed the top of her head softly. Spike followed her into peaceful slumber. The first one he has had in one hundred and forty seven nights.
~~~~~~~~~~


Spike awokartlartled and disoriented, he had forgotten where hs. Hs. He could feel Buffy’s warm body pressed up against him, her arm slung over his waist. She was turned toward him, her body pressed firmly against his. His nose was buried in her hair, so he could inhale her scent while they slept. Then he remembered.

It was almost dawn. If he hurried he could make it home before the sun rose. He glanced at Buffy. ~ Gotta get out of here before the scoobies realize what she did, inviting me here. ~ He sighed softly and removed her arm from around his waist without waking her, silently sliding out of bed.

Spike grabbed his duster and boots and pulled them on quickly. He spared one last glance at her before he leapt from the window landing on the grass below without a sound. He used his vampiric speed to make it to his crypt in record time, sighing softly as he closed the door behind himself.

Spike made his way to the lower portion of his crypt. He crawled into bed and replayed last night’s events over again in his head. He closed his eyes, letting sleep claim him once again.
~~~~~~~

Buffy awoke and realized Spike was no longer in bed beside her. She glanced around, noticing his duster and boots were gone. Tears coursed silently down her face.

~ He doesn’t want to be with me. Doesn’t he love me anymore? ~ She thought sadly. Her insecurities were far worse since she returned from the dead.
~~~~~~~

“I don’t know what to do… Dawn hasn’t talked to me either…” Willow said softly into the phone.

“Well Willow…I don’t know what to tell you other than that I will be there tomorrow.” Giles sighed.

“But Giles…shouldn’t she be happy? I mean we got her out of helljustjust think that she should…be happy, Why isn’t she…” Willow trailed off. She didn’t want to tell Giles, She thought Buffy should be grateful. ~ But she should. ~

“Willow…We don’t know what happened to her…we don’t know how long she was there, reality twists in hell…we just need to give her time…”

“But she’s my best friend…I…I missed her so much…I just…”

“Give her time Willow, I’ll be there tomorrow…we can figure it out then…”

“Ok.” Willow sighed in defeat.
~~~~~~

“Are you hungry?” Dawn asked placing the tray on the table beside Buffy’s bed.

Buffy shrugged. ~ Who cares if I eat or not? ~

“Come on Buffy…you can’t just lay there all day…aren’t you hungry? I made your favorite…” Dawn teased.

Buffy sat up glancing curiously at the tray. She broke into a tiny smile. “Ok…maybe just a little…” She sat up further and allowed Dawn to place the tray over her knees.

Buffy ravenously ate her favorite breakfast Count Chocula cereal smothered in Chocolate milk.

“Guess you were a little more hungry than you thought huh?” Dawn smirked walking over to Buffy’s closet. “What are you gonna wear today?” She glanced back at Buffy who was looking at her like a deer caught in headlights.

“Uh…what do you mean? I’m not going anywhere.” Buffy said defensively turning her attention back to the chocolaty goodness she was gobbling up.

“You’re just gonna lay in bed all day?” Dawn asked incredulously.

“Well…yeah I was…I have nothing to do…” Buffy said defensively. “It’s not like I have…a job or…or anything outside this room.” Buffy closed her eyes pushing her tray aside.

Dawn sighed, turning to her sister.

“You’re all I’ve got Dawn. You know I love you right?” Buffy said eyes locking with her sister’s. “You gave up the foolishness that you’re not my sister right?”

Dawn smiled and nodded. She pulled a pair of jeans and a long sleeved top from Buffy’s closet and walked towards the bed, clutching the clothing between sweaty palms. “I know you love me Buffy…you died to protect me…but you’re back now…and things have changed in your absence. I think you should come and find out what they are…find out what’s been going on.” Dawn smiled softly. “Lots of things have changed over the summer. And you’re back Buffy…don’t you think that means something? Don’t you want to live?”

“What do you mean?” Buffy asked curiously. “Do you mean my friends?
“When you were gone ... it was bad when you were gone. But it'll be better now. Now that they can see you being happy. That's all they want.”
“Dawn…what else is different?” Buffy asked.

“If you want to know go have a shower, get dressed and come downstairs.” Dawn said hugging her sister. She pulled back and handed Buffy the outfit. “I’ll be downstairs…” She said softly. She turned and walked from Buffy’s room.
~~~~~~~

Buffy lay there and thought about it for a few minutes. She lay back on her bed and closed her eyes. ~ Why? Why did you bring me back? ~ She closed her eyes and imagined what it was like where she really was, tears streamed down her face, tears for the heaven that she missed. ~ I was done. Complete. I knew everyone I loved was happy and safe. But were they really? Only one way to find out. ~ She thought as she pulled the covers back and got out of bed.
~~~~~~~

Dawn closed the door soundlessly behind her. She leaned against the door and let the trembling take over. ~ It’s so hard to be strong. ~ She stood there soundlessly, her soft breathing the only sound, until she heard Buffy moving around in her room. Dawn quickly pulled herself together and made her way downstairs.
~~~~~~~

Buffy made her way into the living room. Not only was Dawn there, all of the scoobies had gathered. It was startling. Buffy took a deep breath. Before anyone could ask her how she was she spoke. “Look, you guys, um, there's this thing ... so I'm just gonna say it. You brought me back. I was in a ... I was in hell. I, um ... I can't think too much about what it was like. But it felt like the world abandoned me there. And then suddenly ... you guys did what you did.”

”It was Willow. She knew what to do.” Tara said softly, glancing at her girlfriend.

”Okay. So you did that. And the world came rushing back. Thank you. You guys gave me the world. I can't tell you what it means to me. And I should have said it before. I was just too wigged…so…thank you.”

“You're welcome.” Willow said tearfully. She walked over to Buffy and embraced her.

“Welcome home, Buffy.” Xander murmured, wrapping his arms around both girls.
~~~~~~~~~~

Spike prowled around the crypt. He had one hour left to wait. Then he could make his way over to Buffy’s house. See if she wanted to patrol with him, see the bit. Spike grimaced. She hadn’t even been back twenty-four hours and he expected her to fall right back into routine. Slayer or not, she’d need time to re-adjust. So he’d do a quick patrol and then make his way over to the Summers’ house. ~ After all I have been going over there every night since… ~ Since Willow came to talk some sense into him.

~+~+~+~ FLASHBACK ~+~+~+~

Spike was laying on the crypt floor, empty and broken bottles littered the crypt. He was crying openly. His unneeded breath coming in gasps and pants between his tears.

Suddenly the door to his crypt crashed open. He tried to sit up; he tried to see who it was through his drunken tear-filled bleary eyes. He couldn’t focus.

“Who the bloody hell is it? Gonna rip your bloody head off!” He growled viciously, trying to look menacing.

“Yeah…right Spike, you can’t even get up, never mind rip my head off, I was knocking…but you didn’t come to the door…” Willow said moving closer. “What happened in here?” She asked indicating the scattered bottles and broken glass.

“Havin’ a bloody party Red. What’s it look like?” He growled, rolling onto his side and curling into a ball.

“Spike…Dawn wanted to see you…she wanted to come with me, how would you feel if she saw you like this?” Willow asked softly.

“Bit wants to see me?” Spike asked hope shining in his weary eyes. “Does she want to stake me?” He asked fresh tears mingling with the dried tear tracks already staining his face.

“No, she doesn’t want to stake you Spike. She loves you; she’s worried about you. You haven’t stopped by since…” Willow sighed. ~ Better to not mention her name. ~

“I…I didn’t think she’s want to see me…after all I’m the reason her big sis is dead…” Spike let out a harsh, guilt-ridden sob.

“Spike…hey…no…” Willow said kneeling on the floor beside him, she pulled him into a semi sitting position and wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close.

Spike let himself be held and cried softly. Willow held him until he got himself under control again. “I’m such a bloody ponce…don’t you see, if I’d have done what the slayer asked…protected the bit…she’d still be here…” It was still too painful to say her name aloud.

“Spike…you did what you could…you’re still here right? Must be for a reason…maybe that reason is Dawn…look, she’s already lost her father cause you know he hasn’t even tried to see her even after both her mother and sister died…do you think she can really take it if she loses her best friend too?” Willow questioned.

Spike pulled back and looked into her eyes. “Why you being so nice to me Red?” He whispered.

“I know you loved her Spike…but she’s gone…don’t let it destroy you…she once told me…no matter how bad it seems…it will get better…Spike give it a chance to get better…and Dawnie…she needs you…”

Spike nodded. He cleaned himself up, sobered up, and cleaned up the crypt. The next day he stopped by to see Dawn, a few minutes after sunset. They made it a habit. He did it every day, never missing one. Sometimes he’d stay and watch a movie, sometimes they’d play cards, sometimes they’d talk, laugh cry. They talked about Buffy and Joyce and what Dawn wanted to do when she grew up.

Spike sighed.

~+~+~+~ END FLASHBACK ~+~+~+~

~~~~~~

What’s wrong? You keep staring at the door…are you expecting someone?” Buffy asked.

“It’s…Well yeah…Spike. He comes by every day… couple of minutes after sunset…he’s usually smoking under his blanket… It’s really cute.”

“Oh. How long has he been doing that?” Buffy asked.

“It was about a week and a half after you…jumped…I don’t know where he was up until then I didn’t see him at all, and he would never tell me what went on…but he was so different after…” Dawn said softly.

“He was at his crypt. I went and saw him…” Willow murmured. “He was in rough shape…He just needed a little time after…cause you know all in love with you and…” Willow blushed and looked down at the carpet.

“Yeah…but I don’t think he…” Buffy sighed and closed her eyes. ~ I don’t think he loves me anymore. But you guys don’t need to know that…there are enough guys who don’t love me anymore that you DO know about. ~

Buffy glanced up when the phone rang. Dawn ran to answer it. “Yeah…She’s here. No it’s ly hly her, Willow and the gang brought her back.” Dawn turned to Buffy, holding out the phone. “It’s Angel.”

Buffy got up from the couch and walked slowly to the outstretched phone in her sister’s hand. “H-H-Hello?” She whispered, trying to keep the panic from her voice.

She hung up the phone in a daze. “He, he needs to see me. I have to see him.”

“Yes, of course. You can leave for L.A. tomorrow, first thing in the morning.” Dawn said as she hugged Buffy.

“Not L.A. And not here. Somewhere in the middle. There's a, a place. I gotta go now…” Buffy grabbed the keys and walked calmly out the door.
~~~~~~~~~

To Be Continued…