Losing It

Faith’s POV

Man I love this slaying shit! I swear it gets better every night. These have to be the dumbest fucking vamps I’ve ever fought. It’s like they just keep running into my stake.

Four down and the last one is looking piss scared.

“Too late to be scared now suck boy. I’m gonna send you’re undead ass back to hell.”

I flip over the headstone with ease and bring the stake down hard into his chest.

Instant dust.

I brush my pants off with a sigh and stick the stake back into my jacket. I give the graveyard one last look over and smile in satisfaction.

Damn, I’m good.

I can’t wait to see my girl. She’s probably studying or something. Always the busy B. Mrs. Summers says I can come over after patrol, but I have to be out of the house before one. She has been real cool about this whole “Slayer” deal. My dad has too. He worries about me, but ndernderstands. I think its cause he knows I can kick his ass now. Not that I ever would, I love the big guy. Never thought I’d ever put those words together in the same sentence.

I gotta pull my jacket around me. It’s getting piss cold out here. I hope Buffy is keeping warm in her sushi pajamas. I gotta smile every time I think about her. She just makes me so…hot.

Damn! Not this horny shit again!

It happens after every patrol. It’s the ONE and ONLY down side to slaying. Especially when my girl don’t wanna give it up. I can’t push her to though, and I won’t. I know I fucked up big time way back when. I couldn’t believe she forgave me so easily. I don’t wanna make her do something she doesn’t want to. I just want her so bad. She’s my Goddess. I want to worship her, over and over and over and over again.

I love her. I love her so much sometimes; I can’t breathe if she isn’t near me. I crave her like a dying man craves salvation. She’s my addiction, and if I’m lucky, I just might OD.

**

She’s watching TV when I climb up onto the tree beside her window. Mrs. Summers tells me to just use the front door, but this is way more romantic. I’m working on my girlfriend points.

I always bring her a red rose. Every night after patrol, I stop by Sunny Farms and pick a rose from the bush out front. I tuck it in my inside jacket pocket just so I can surprise her, even though she knows it’s coming.

I lean into the window and tap it lightly. B looks over and smiles when she meets my eyes. All these years and she still takes my breath away.

She unwraps herself from the blankets and pads over to the window in sushi pajamas and bare feet. Damn, she is the sexiest woman alive.

Buffy lifts the window and leans out to give me one of her soft kisses. The ones that make my heart stop beating.

When she pulls away, her eyes fall to the front of my jacket, awaiting her surprise. I just smile and play it off as I push my way into the room.

“Looking for something?”

B shakes her head and smiles that beautiful smile. Her nose crinkles as she leans into me and wraps her arms around my waist.

“Just glad the woman I love is here with me. Where she belongs.”

There she goes again. She always says something that makes my heart melt and my knees go weak. Just when I think I couldn’t love her more, she goes and does it.

I smile down at her and slip my left hand into my jacket. She smiles. I smile and pull the rose out. She reaches up and takes it. She looks like she is gonna cry. I lift my hand and wipe my thumb across her cheek.

“Please don’t cry baby. I hate when you cry. I just wanted you to know I love you, that’s all.”

Buffy nods her head and leans in to kiss me just below my ear. Like she always does.

A kiss for a rose.

She pulls away from me and I instantly miss her warmth. She walks over and places the rose in the vase beside her bed. She takes the one out from last night and puts it in the top drawer with the other thousand. She slides the drawer shut with a jolt of her hip and she turns to face me with a smirk and those eyes.

She lifts her hand and points her finger at me before curling it into “come here” motions. I smile and slowly creep up to her. She runs her hands up my arms and onto my shoulders. They slip beneath the material and my jacket hits the floor with a thud. She smiles and runs her hands back down my arms. I’m wearing the long sleeve, blue button up silk shirt she gave me for my birthday. It was cold tonight and she wouldn’t let me go out with just my tank, so we compromised. I got to keep my leather pants and jacket, but I had to put on the shirt. So I did. She thinks I did it to keep an argument down, but I did it for her. I could never deny her anything.

Her pink tongue slips from her lips and runs over them in a slow stroke as she trails her hands down my arms, over my hands and rests them on my sides just above my hips.

This is the BEST part of slaying.

I get to make out with Buffy afterwards.

She gives my hips a light tug and I reposition myself so she can fall back on the bed and pull me down on top of her.

We fall onto her soft bed with a whoosh of air. She smiles up at me and I smile back. That’s how we communicate most of the time. It’s all we need.

Buffy eases her hands into my hair and pulls my lips down to meet hers. My world crumbles all over again. Every time I kiss her, it’s like that first time we kissed in my tree house when we had that party on the Fourth of July. I bet she doesn’t think I remember that, but how could I forget? It was the night my life changed forever.

I feel her tongue pressing into my lips softly and I open my mouth to bring her inside me. It’s the only way I can…for now. It’s the most intimate thing we share, and I love kissing her. She has the softest, most gentle tongue. Her mouth is always warm and inviting. She kisses me like she loves me.

I feel my thigh instinctively pressing hers apart. My whole body is humming and I can’t stop it. She makes me insane. She fuels my desire beyond reason. I didn’t know I could feel like this.

Buffy moans into my mouth and for a split second, I think that maybe this is it. I’m finally gonna get to show her how much I love her…

Second’s over.

“Faith. Faith, wait.”

Buffy’s hand is pushing against my stomach and all my hopes go right down the crapper. I break away from her and lift myself from her body slightly. She is looking up at me with those deep, green eyes. I can see the fear in them. She is afraid I’m gonna be pissed, and ash ash as I want her…I love her more. I would never make her do something she doesn’t want to. I could…would never hurt her like that.

“I know baby. I’m sorry.”

Buffy shakes her head.

“No, baby. I’m sorry. I love you more than life, and I want to. I do. I just don’t want it to be because “you had a good slay and now you want a good lay.” I want it to mean something, to both of us.”

There she goes again. Making me love her even more, if that is humanly possible.

I nod my head and smile.

“I know B. I want that to.”

Ain’t I a regular Shakespeare.

She says all that beautiful heart-felt stuff, and I give her this. Oh yeah, I’m a prince.

Buffy looks like she’s gonna cry again. I bury my face in her neck and take in the sweet smell of her hair. She strokes my back idly and we just lay there here in each other’s arms. Minutes go by before she speaks.

“Faith? I want you to know that I…”

I lift my head from her neck and silence her with a gentle finger. I nod my head and give her my softest smile.

“I know Buffy. I want it to be special too. I love you, baby.”

A tear slips from her eye and she smiles.

“God Faith. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

My eyes widen. I lean my head back and smile in disbelief.

“What YOU did to deserve Me? Buffy, I’m the lucky one. Never in a million years did I think someone like you would love someone like me. Don’t you know you’re my Angel?”

Another tear slips from her eye…and then another. She gets choked up right before she lets out a little sob.

“Oh, Faith. I love you sch.”ch.”

She pulls me into a passionate kiss. I can taste her salty tears as they run down over our lips. Her tongue is massaging mine with abandon. Her hands are stroking my back through my shirt, and I love the soft feel of the silk against my skin.
We finally pull apart when oxygen becomes and issue. We just gaze into each other’s eyes, panting wildly. I have to swallow to catch my breath and Buffy exhales against the exposed skin of my chest.

It sets me ablaze.

I start to pull away from her before I start something I won’t be able to stop.

“I gotta go B.”

She starts to panic and reaches up to grab me by the hips.

“No, Faith. It’s not even midnight yet. Please, don’t leave me.”

Fuck.

She’s looking at me with them pleading eyes and that damn irresistible pout.

I sigh and lay back on top of her. I look down into her eyes anile ile as I idly trace her jaw line with my right index finger.

“Okay, but we gotta stop this. I’m startin’ to get very…wet.”

I say that last word with a smirk and raise my eyebrow suggestively. I hear Buffy take a light intake of breath.

I guess I shocked her with that one.

Buffy looks back up into my eyes for a moment and then she bits her lip in thought.

“Faith?”

“Yeah, baby?”

Buffy shifts beneath me lightly and runs her hand down my arm to come to a rest on my right hand. I lean onto my left elbow so she can pull my hand to her. She places a soft kiss on each finger and then meets my eyes once again.

“Would you settle for just a toe in the water for now?”

I look back at her kinda puzzled. She gets this real…sneaky look on her face as she starts to pull my hand down. She brings it to rest on the top of her stomach where her pajama top meets the waistband of her pajama bottoms. She keeps her hand on top of mine as she waits for me to catch on.

Ahhh...toe in the water.

I start to get real nervous and suddenly my throat feels like the Sahara.

I swallow hard and look at her with uncertainty.

“Are you sure? I mean, do you really…want to?”

Buffy just nods as she starts to slide my hand under her pajama top.

Every nerve cell in my body springs to life and the blood rushes straight to my groin when I feel her silky soft skin beneath my hand. I let out a very audible moan. I close my eyes as I feel my hand nearing the perfect swell of flesh.

“Buffy…”

Buffy moans when my hand comes into contact with her breast. I manage to force my eyes open to look down and see that she now has hers tightly shut.

I have never felt anything more amazing than this. If I could freeze time, I would stay in this moment forever.

I feel Buffy’s hand start to massage mine and I catch on a lot quicker this time.

I may be stupid, but I ain’t fucking stupid.

I start to massage Buffy's breast and her hand leaves mine and comes out of her shirt to rest above her head. She starts to moan with every squeeze.

It gets too much for me and I close my eyes and burry my face in her neck. Her hands come up to tightly entwine in my hair and I let out a groan.

I turn my head and lick the side of her throat in a long delicate motion.

Buffy gasps and starts to move her hips against mine.

My clit twitches. A lot.

I push myself on top of her and start to run my left hand down over her torso to the waistband of her pajamas. Before I can stop myself, my hand slips beneath it and my fingers come into contact with the soft cotton of her panties.

I moan again.

It’s like I’m running on auto as I start to rub her pussy over her panties. I can feel how hot she is, and how wet.

Buffy groans and her right hand slips from my hair and to the top button of my shirt. She starts to pull it free…

…when the door opens.

We both instantly turn our heads and meet the outline of Mrs. Summers standing in the light of the hallway.

I suddenly feel like the kid that got caught with one hand down his pants and the other down Buffy’s.

Which it is.

Mrs. Summers clears her throat and folds her arms across her chest.

“Girls? Is there something you want to tell me?”

I look down at Buffy. She has this horrified look on her face as she stares over at her mom.

Something tells me the shit just hit the fan.