Entropy Re-played

Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews. My chocolate covered muse is dancing around clapping her hands. The next chappie may actually contain some NC-17!!! ;) Az

Seeing

"Love's a funny thing." Clem shrugged. "Hey. Come on now, Mr. Negative. You never know what's just around the corner. Things change."

"They do." Spike agreed. "If you make them."
~~~~~`

Buffy walked downstairs to get some breakfast. ~ What's this? I guess he forgot it in his rush to leave. ~ Buffy thought picking up Spike's duster and heading back towards her room.

Buffy stood before her open closet and held the worn leather against herself. ~ I'll make him come and get it after patrol. ~ She thought smugly.

Buffy let her fingers caress thrn lrn leather one last time before she closed her closet, leaving it there she returned to the kitchen for breakfast.
~~~~~`

"Hey. Clothes." Willow murmured looking up at Tara from under the covers.

"Better not get used to them." Tara said crawling over the bed into her lovers embrace.

"Yes, ma'am." Willow said softly leaning in to kiss Tara.

"Mmmm..." Tara said softly. "Xander." She said softly glancing out the window.

"Okay, not quite the response I was fishing for." Willow said softly.

"No, he's here." Tara said pointing out the window.

"Oh..." Willow glanced out the window. "Think they're making up?" She asked.

"I hope so. That's the best part." Tara said smiling.
~~~~~`

"I thought I hit bottom, but... It hurt. That you didn't trust me enough to tell me about Spike. It hurt." Xander said softly.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you." Buffy replied looking at her hands.

"Maybe you would have. If I hadn't given you so many reasons to think I'd be an ass about it." Xander said. He put his arm around her andled led her close.

"Guess we've all done a lot of things lately we're not proud of." She said softly resting her head on his shoulder.

"I think I got you beat."

"Wanna compare?" She asked, looking up at him.

"Not so much." Xander sighed. "I don't know what I'd do... without you and Will." He said softly.

"Let's not find out." She murmured snuggling further into his arms. "I love you. You know that, right?"
~~~~~`

Later that night while she was patrolling Buffy looked up to find herself standing in front of Spike's crypt.

~ I wonder why he didn't meet up with me. I haven't felt him near me all night. I need to say something to him. I can't just leave it like that. ~ "Spike..." She called entering the crypt.

~ I'll tell him to come and get his jacket. ~

"Suffering cats! Where did you come from!?"

"Oh! Clem! Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you..."

"It's - it's okay... You just snuck up on me is all..."

"I made you spill your snacks." Buffy said indicating the spilled cheetos

"Eh, don't worry about it. Like I need more of this. Can I get you something? I was just about to mix up some Country Time." Clem asked, playing the polite host.

"I was looking for Spike, actually...He forgot his jacket at my place last night." Buffy smiled at the friendly demon.

"He didn't tell you?" Clem a unb unbelievingly.

"Tell me what?" Buffy asked. ~ No...please don't say he's gone. ~

"He left. Town." Celm said apologetically.

"Oh... He just took off?" She questioned softly. ~ No No no! I didn't get to tell him...~

"That's why I'm staying here for him. Sweet pad like this goes empty for a few days, you'll lose it for sure." He nodded. "Plus - I don't have a TV. I'm surprised he didn't tell you. He kinda left in a hurry, I guess. He did seem pretty upset. You sure I can't get you something? I've got Bugles and Liverwurst and..." Clem offered.

"I'm fine, thank you. Um, but...Did he say when he'd be back?" She asked feeling tears form suddenly. ~ Did he say he was coming back? Woah...pathetic much Buffy? Crying over an evil soulless monster who says he loves you. ~ She sighed and closed her eyes. ~ Nothin says 'I love you Buffy' like walking out of my life. ~

"Spike? No. Only that he could be gone a while." Clem shrugged.
~~~~~`

"You were a legendary dark warrior - and you let yourself be castrated. And you have the audacity to crawl in here and demand restoration?" The deep voice boomed unbelievingly.

"I'm still a warrior..." Spike growled.

"You're a pathetic excuse for a demon..."

"Yeah? I'll show you pathetic! Give me your best shot!" Spike growled.

"You'd never endure the trials required to grant your request." The voice said sympathetically.

"Do your worst. But when I win, I want what I came here for." He challenged. "Bitch is gonna see a change."
~~~~~`

Buffy found herself infront of Spike's crypt again, a week later.

She knocked softly. ~ Don't wanna scare Clem again. ~

"Slayer." He smiled happuponupon opening the door.

"Hey Clem. Feel like some company?" She asked holding up a bag of cheetos.

"Sure..e one on in." He smiled opening the door wider.
"You miss him don't you?"

Buffy looked up at him startled. "What?" She squeaked.

"Don't worry...I won't tell anyone..." Clem murmured hurriedly.

"I...yeah...I miss him. Didn't think I would. Clem...I'm so sorry for pushing him away." Buffy said tears forming behind her eyes. "I just wish I could take it back.

"Don't worry. He'll be back." Clem said patting her back.

"Yeah...but what if he doesn't come back? What if I pushed him too far this time?" She asked. ~ What if he doesn't love me anymore? ~ That thought gripped her heart in icy fear.

"He loves you..." Clem said softly. "More that you'll ever know. He changed so much for you Slayer...He wouldn't just throw that away."

"*He* didn't...but what if *I* did?" She asked bitterly.
~~~~~`

"You understand, then?"

"Yeah, yeah - it's not like you haven't been clear about it, oh great mysterious one." Spike rolled his eyes. "This is a test. I don't get what I want unless I pass said test. That about the size and shape?"

"Yes."

"And since your pad is decked out gladiator style, and no number two pencils have been provided...I guess we're not starting with the written." Spike glanced over and saw his first challenge. A Well muscled fighter. "Ah. Here we go, then. Just me and the walking action figure. I'm venturing this would be the Kill-or-be-killed type of situation, then?"

"To the death." The voice acknowledged.

"Right. Here we are now. Entertain us."

The fighter smashed his fists together and they burst into flame.

"Son of a b..."
~~~~~`

Buffy entered her room sighing. Spike's duster called to her. She pulled it out of her closet and slipped her arms in. ~ No one has to know. ~ She thought to herself as his familiar scent washed over her and Buffy sighed.


She moved over to her bed and sat on the edge. ~ How did I let it get this far? How could I fall in love with a soulless vampire? Espessially after what happened with Angel? ~ She wondered to herself. ~ And why didn't I tell him before it was too late? ~ Silent tears coursed down her cheeks.
~~~~~`

"Had enough?" Spike growled. He could feel the burns from every punch thrown, glancing blows and bone crushing hits. Ashes littered his body, clinging to his bloody wounds and stinging. Spike knew he was bleeding, from numerous cuts, and he could feel the bruises swelling uncomfortably.

Spike felt the fist coming, He grabbed his opponents fist in his hand. "Ow! Badmove badmove badmove..."ke gke growled. He kicked his opponent in the knee, causing him to lose his footing.

Spike brought up his knee and smashed him in the chest.
He grabbed the bloke by the head and twisted until it popped right off his shoulders.

Spike grinned his cocky swaggering grin. He staggered to his feet. "Looks like local boy loses."

"So it would appear."

"Good on me, then. I get what I came for? I passed, right?" Spike growled.

"Indeed. You have passed the first stage of the test."

"Right, I get it... wait... first stage? Bugger."
~~~~~`

"Come on Buffy...we're heading to the bronze...come with?" Willow asked poking her head into Buffy's room.

"Not tonight Will. I just need some time alone." Buffy sighed rolling over on to her stomach.

"Is there anything I can do?" Willow asked stepping further into the room.

"No...I just...you go have fun with Tara..." Buffy said softly. ~ I have his jacket to keep me company. ~ Buffy sighed. "Besides I have to patrol tonight..." She said softly.

Buffy ran her fingers under the blanket and touched the soft leather hidden there.

The cool soft feeling of it calmed her.

"Ok well...If you change your mind..."

"Yeah...I know where you'll be."
~~~~~`


"Well that was a bloody doddle and a piece o'piss... Got any more ruddy tests for me, you ponce? I'll take anything you can throw at me. If it'll get me what I came for. You just bring it on. Bring on the whole..." Spike stopped suddenly. He could feel them, crawling all over, inside and out. "Bloody hell." He muttered under his breath.

Spike fell to his knees as they crawled under his torn flesh.
~~~~`

Bu's s's sadness turned to anger. It had to or she would have been a vampire's snack. ~ Who the hell does he think he is leaving *me*? If he loved me so much how could he just walk away? ~ She wondered to herself.

"He probably thinks he's gonna come back here and ...wham bam thank you Buffy...Well I don't think so!" She screamed smashing her stake so hard into the fledgling that it went right through him. She stumbled.

Buffy groaned as she smashed face first into a grave marker.
~~~~~`

"You have endured the required trials."

"Bloody right I have. So, you give me what I want. Make me what I was... so Buffy can get what she deserves." Spike said weakly.

"Very well. We will remove you chip *and* return your soul."

Spike screamed in agony as his soul entered his body. He could feel them all in his head. Everyone he killed. Crying, begging for their lives, telling him he was nothing but a monster.

Spike growled softly as he felt the chip being placed in his battered and bruised palm.

"The monster and the man are both free. It's time to choose." The booming voice echoed in the cave, Spike looked up and found himself alone.
~~~~~`

Buffy sat up wearily and wiped her face. She could feel the blood dripping down over one eye from the gash in her forehead. ~ That hurts. ~ She thought as she gently ran her fingers over the tender spot. She pulled her fingers back to look and saw the thick blood coating her fingers.
~~~~~`

Spike roared into the welcome to Sunnydale sign. He backed up and rolled over it again grinning wildly. ~ Home. ~ He thought happily.
~~~~~`

"Come on Buffy...It happen almost two weeks ago, it's barley a scratch now. No one's gonna notice." Willow said dragging her friend by the hand.

"I said I would go." Buffy murmured.
~~~~~`


Spike sat heavily on his chair. He sighed and flicked on the TV. He reached down and found what he was looking for. ~ Good ol' Jack. ~ Spike smiled to himself.

He removed the lid and drank deep, relishing the burn as the liquid fire burned in his belly.
~ Better this way. ~ The voice in his head said softly.
~~~~~`

They found a table quickly by the dance floor. Buffy sat calmly and watched her friends dance.

"Come on Buffy..." Willow came over and grabbed her hand.

Buffy let herself be led to the floor. She closed her eyes and swayed to the music. Moving her body in time with the fast beat of the song.

Buffy let herself go and enjoyed the music. ~ I haven't danced like this in a long time. ~ She thought to herself.
~~~~~`

"Ok guys...I'm gonna go patrol." Buffy said good-bye to her friends.

There was a chorus of "See ya's" From the gang.

Buffy walked down the street, trying to act like a victim.
~~~~~`

There she is. I told you we'd find her alone one of these days." He smiled smugly.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Jonathan whined.

"I'm positive. It knocked you and Andrew out didn't it?" Warren snapped. "You just have to make sure you hit the target."
~~~~~`
~ She's not yours. She doesn't even like you, never mind love you. ~ In his head William was ranting.

"Bloody hell. Get out of my head you stupid ponce!" Spike growled. He threw the bottle at the wall smashing it into a thousand tiny peices.

Spike stalked out into the night. ~ Must be something out there need's it's ass kicked. ~
~~~~~`

Buffy heard a shot, she felt a stinging pain in the back of her shoulder. Suddenly she was dizzy.

Buffy leaned against the nearest wall, trying to locate where it came from.

She noticed the black van parked a few yards away.

Buffy closed her eyes and slid down the wall.
~ Those bastards! ~ She thought angrily.

Then she felt him.

Buffy closed her eyes and let the feeling of his nearness wash over her. ~ He's here. Ohgodohgod. ~

Buffy felt her body responding. Her heart rate sped up and her muscles screamed to be used. ~ Spike. ~ She screamed silently.
~~~~~`

Spike watched Buffy slide down the wall. He watched as three guys got out of a van and walked cautiously towards her.

Warren reached down and grabbed Buffy roughly and tried to lift her.

S gro growled angrily. A raw inhuman sound, he was on the move before anyone could react he had Warren by the throat.

Spike pu him him up against the wall and growled right into his face, eyes glowing yellow and wrinklies furrowed in anger. "If I see you again...I'll kill you, and your friends." He growled.

Warren couldn't help himself, he lost control of his bowels. Spike could smell the overpowering scent as it clung to Warren's clothes. Spike dropped him disgusted.

"We're going..." Jonathan screamed between sobs.
He helped warren to his feet and the three of them piled into the van. Tires squealed as they made their way out of Sunnydale, not even bothering to stop for their belongings.

"Spike?...are you really here?" She whispered. Looking at him with shocked eyes.

"I'm sorry..." He murmured turning away.

"Spike?" Buffy questioned, tears filling her eyes.

~ No. Oh no don't cry. Didn't mean to make you cry. One foot infront of the other. ~ Spike glanced back at her and ran.

"Please..." She called out to him.
~~~~~`

Spike kept running, he didn't look up when he heard Xander call him as he ran by the Bronze.

Xander looked the other way and saw Buffy trying to pull herself up against the wall.

"Buffy...Buffy..." Xander screamed. "Are you ok?" He ran to her side and helped her up.

"I...I think I was shot with a trank...Spike was here...he..." She sobbed.


"Come on...Spike ran into the church across the street...I think he's gonna..." Xandedn'dn't get to even finish the sentence before she was running for the entrance.
~~~~~`

"It didn't work. Costume. Didn't help. Couldn't hide.
You still see the monster." Spike said ripping off his shirt and casually tossing it to the side.
~~~~~`

Xander, Anya, Willow and Tara entered the church silently.

They stood there wide eyed and slack jawed as Spike and Buffy talked.
~~~~~`

"I can't say 'sorry' Buffy you know what I am. Still you came to me all the same. Can't use 'forgive me'. All I can say is: Buffy, I've changed."

"I believe you."

"Well, that's something." Spike glanced at the floor.

"I just don't know what you've changed into. I don't know what your game is, Spike, but I know there's something you're not telling me." Buffy looked into his eyes.

"You're right. There is. But we're not best friends anymore, so too bad for me. I'm not sharing."


"Tell me what happened to you." She said softly reaching out to run her fingertips over the weird burn on his chest.

"Please..." He pulled away from her touch. "I tried to find it, of course." Spike said, his eyes seeking hers.

"Find what?" Buffy asked, upset that he had rejected her touch.

"The spark. The missing... the piece that fit. That would make me fit. Because you didn't want..." Spike felt tears threatening. "God, I can't... Not with you looking." He whispered as fat salty tears rolled down his cheeks. Spike moved into the shadows.

"I dreamt of you, holding myself, and spilling useless buckets of salt over you. Angel—he should've warned me. He makes a good show of forgetting, but it's here, in me, all the time. The spark. I wanted to give you what you deserve, and I got it. They put the spark in me and now all it does is burn."

Buffy's eyes widened in surprise "Your soul." Buffy breathed. ~ He was cursed. ~

"Bit worse for lack of use."

"You got your soul back. How?" She pleaded.

"It's what you wanted, right? Needed more like."

"Why? Why would you do that..." She asked already knowing the answer. She closed her eyes and waited for him to reply.

"Buffy, shame on you. Why does a man do what he mustn't? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would nev..." Spike felt tears again rolling down his face. "To be a kind of man...that you can trust, the kind of man you can tell your friends about. Not hide away like the pathetic monster I am."

Buffy felt the salty sting of tears. ~ Spike. I loved you already. ~

Spike slowly approached the altar staring at the giant cross. "She shall look on him with forgiveness, and everybody will forgive and love. He will be loved. So everything's OK, right?" He reacted out and rested on the cross. Spike's flesh started to smoke. "Can—can we rest now? Buffy...can we rest?"
~~~~~`

"He has a soul now?" Willow whispered.
~~~~~`

Buffy grabbed Spike's shoulders and pulled him away from the cross. "Spike...stop, please stop..." Buffy begged.

They stumbled and fell bards,rds, Spike in Buffy's arms.

She wrapped her arms tighter around the sobbing vampire and held him till his cries subsided.
~~~~~`

TBC...? Want more?